ok so hard lesson learned, don't mix family with buisness. after my sil suggested, my fil financed on his cc supplies needed to fix up a trailer in sil's name and on her property for my husband and i lived in for x time and us paying fil back. everything was done verbally (no lease and we didn't sign ne thing legally holding us responsible to pay fil back). long story short we've only lived there for one year and she gave us 6 months back in july to get out which we will be out this week (to avoid moving in the bitter cold).
my husband just told me that FIL is only charging us for the time we actually spent there. Despite that will still be less than what we would've paid had all agreements worked out, I still don't know if i agree that we should pay anything, because sil went back on her word, the property is her's the trailer is hers and i really think fil needs to charge sil since she didn't fulfill her part of the agreement.
Let me include that the agreement was "rent free" agreement...so we still would've have paid anymore than we have had it gone by llord/tenant law
Megan, fil offered to cover it and did long term repairs since we were supposed to be there for at least 5 years after he verified with sil that we would be there for 5 years and i flat out told him when looking at the trailer that we could not afford the repairs, he offered and said we'll work something out
to answer some of the questions, the ORIGINAL idea was for me and my husband to live there RENT FREE for 5 years to help us get out of debt and save money (which we were working on-we're hurting). Her son and daughter moved in with her back in june and it was just a little while after that she gave us 6 month notice-almost like she was looking for any reason to kick us out. she said it's because we lied to her which we did not (her reason for kicking us out was miscommunication on me and my husband's part, failed to pay an elec bill ONCE which was covered IN FULL before dnp date...i understood her reason for being irritated, but she should've talked to us about it NOT the rest of the family; and i was trying to clean up the yard that had a bunch of old wood from the trailer, and husband couldn't help, just finished having surgery, and my daughter tried, but couldn't help me carry this pile of wood, we made it to the edge of the woods by a post so no one would drive over it and damage tractor's cars, etc, THE NEXT day fil told me to leave it there, he'd come get it with his tractor....never did, sil blew up on us about that too despite what fil told us)...her source of credibility against us is nothing more than gossip...instead of talking to us directly about an issue, she went to LITERALLY everyone else BUT us. Our assumption, now that it's in habitable condition, she's going to let her son and daughter live there. she also refused to give us residency documentation as we asked for for because of the elec bill and wood pile issue, after the blow out she avoided us when we asked her for this documentation, she would walk away or just flat out not answer.
yes i'm madder than a hornet right now, i truly feel like my husband and i have been done wrong i told my husband to give me time to cool and think about it, we'll probably pay it, but i really don't agree that we should and will be a while before we can....we're on one income and really can't afford this change..........BUT we are
ok so i talked more with my husband, and fil is going to charge only the time we were there minus some things then charge the rest to sil, they are asking us to leave fridge, stove and storage she (stuff we bought) i told my husband that's fine, but what we paid for will be reimbursed in full or it's coming with us
Why do you think you should not pay FIL??? he did a nice thing for you and so did the SIL. No one lives for free. What was SIL part of the agreement? Was it you live rent free? Why does she want you out??
sorry to say but you are right as far as don't mix business with family but you are in the wrong in thinking you don't owe anything, you do for the time you lived there. It probably wouldn't hold up in court if they took you since there is no paperwork but the right thing to do is pay. why would you want to cheat your own family ?
You should definitely have to pay for the time you stayed there. Sounds like your FIL did a nice thing and if you don't pay, it's going to be him getting screwed over. I know you have mentioned in other posts about you having In-law drama, I wouldn't add to the issues you already have. Just pay up for the time you were there. Good luck, S..
It sounds like a convoluted mess. I bet you have no legal obligation to pay anyone if there is nothing in writing. Just by living there, you probably have a constructive month to month tenancy, which obligates you to pay the "rent" which I would bet would be what ever monthly payment you had set up. As long as you gave your SIL 30 days notice that you were leaving (and she gave it to you) then you would not be getting the benefit of the improvements to the home that you barganed for if you leave before they were paid off. Beyond that, you are in an ethical situation, not a leagal one. If you acted as a "gaurentor" for your SIL because your FIL would not give her the money otherwise, he is probably going to see you as the transgressor, and that she just dumped a verbal agreement in your lap and left you holding the bag may be an indication of why the FIL would not give her the money in the first place. If that is the case, it really does not matter how anyone feels about it, if you want to keep a good relationship with your FIL, it does not matter if you are "right" or not, he is going to be angry that you did not pay him when he saw you as the ones that he was taking the risk on.
If it were me, and I cared about my FIL, I would pay my obligations to him, if he really only lent the money because of you, and then I would try to sue the SIL for the balance. It may be too conveluted for you to prevail, but you could try to get something in writing now that memorializes the agreement and make sure that you note that all that you pay in the future is on bahalf of your SIL for her property, and maybe you can get it back. I would do the ethical thing now because families do not always operate on "legal" terms and stay happy.
M.
Well you learned a really valuable life lesson, and those lessons don't come free--ever. Dave Ramsay calls this "stupid tax"! Pay, pay and pay some more of whatever they say you owe. Then move and move on -- and NEVER enter into a word-of-mouth only, handshake-type deal with family members.
What SIL "owes" FIL is between them. Not you. Or hubby.
You haven't paid for any repairs and apparently, she decided to renege on the "free rent" part of the deal--so pay the rent! Because you have no legal stand on any agreement at this time which is why no lease/contract is bad for everyone all around.
So--yes--I think you need to pay.
Not sure what the agreement was but it sounds like you and your husband agreed to pay for the repairs to a trailer your SIL owned in exchange for rent free living for a period of time which you have not specified. Then you lived there for one year - did you make any payments to FIL during that year? If not, I can see why SIL and FIL might feel that you guys were not living up to your part of the agreement. A few payments would have shown some good faith on your part. Were you expecting you could pay the whole amount in a lump sum at the end of the "x period"? Is that realistic? Perhaps it was their expectation that you would make payments along the way until it was paid off? Now it sounds like they want to rewrite the agreement to say okay, SIL has and owns the improved trailer so we will charge you just for rent and you won't be on the hook for the full cost of the repairs - so you really need to ask yourself if this is a fair deal, especially if you have paid nothing back to FIL over a year's time.
Yup. Don't mix family and business! Lesson two: put everything in writing (proper writing!), even when it's among family members.
If it comes down to it, you might consult a lawyer about what's right in this matter. It will cost money, but less than what it would cost if it were to end up in court.
Yes you should pay for the time you were living there. As for paying back FIL for the fixes, for me it would depend on who approached the FIL about paying for the fixes. If the SIL approached him, then yes it would be on the SIL to repay, however, if you or your family approached him, then it would be on you to repay him. If you had made the purchases on your own credit card, you would still be responsible for paying that bill to your credit company.
Of course you should pay for the time you spent there. If you took this to court, the courts would order you to pay for the year you lived there (but no more). If FIL wants, he can go after SIL for the money for the rest of the agreement, but she doesn't need to foot the bill for the year you lived there.
This is one of thos etimes when you suck it up - pay whatever FIL is asking, since it's less than something else would cost, and move on. Life is too short for difficulties relating to money as long as you're not being taken to the cleaners. SIL may be the one who makes out on the deal - oh well. Move on.
Thre are way bigger things in life to deal with - this isn't one of them - no matter how much it bugs you. If you don't let go of it emotionally it will eat away at you and it won't bother your SIL at all.
