Have Your Parents Helped You Buy a House

No. I wouldn't want to buy a house if it required someone's help to get there, that would mean I couldn't afford it.

I'm one of 5 and I can't say that's the same for the rest of my siblings though.

Never would have asked and wasn't a thought in either parent's mind.

I have seen it done, with poor results. The piper tends to want to call the tune.

No and I never would have even thought about it. I am an adult and need to be finacially responsible on my own. I also would never accept money from family for fear of strings being attached. If I couldn't afford to buy a place on my own then I would map out a plan on my own so I could.

Yes. I am extremely lucky. My parents are financially very secure and very generous. They're fabulous parents and fantastic grandparents. I am blessed to be their child and I try to show my gratitude whenever I can.

My husband and I purchased our first two homes without any help, but my folks helped us with the down payment for our current house, and then flat out paid for the remodel which we just recently finished. We never expected it or asked for it. It was offered and graciously accepted. My dad told us that it's going to be ours someday anyway, and he wants to see us enjoy it now rather than after he's gone.

My husband and I own property of our own with a lot of equity tied up in it. If we sold it, we would have no problem paying back my folks. But that's not what they want. And their help has enabled us to have options for further financial growth.

We never *needed* any of their help. We never asked for it. We never expected it. But I'm extremely grateful for their generosity. They would give me, my sister and my brother the world. I would do the same for them in a heartbeat.

Yes, my parents lent us $10,000 for the deposit on our first house. We didn't ask for it - they offered, and i gratefully accepted. We set up a payment system, and then they said, don't worry about paying it back, it's a gift. Wonderful generosity.

Mine did. I was 25 and single when I bought my house, a house that was specifically suited to me running a daycare out of it. My late father's trust purchased my home and I pay the mortgage, including interest higher than I could get currently through a traditional mortgage, back to the trust. Because of this set-up, the house is protected from being taken from me in a divorce or a bankruptcy and my mom benefits from the interest income. When I got married, my husband was fully aware of the situation and had no problem with it. We've been lucky to have this situation in times when my husband lost his job or my income dropped significantly, as we never had to worry about losing our home and had some flexibility in the payment amount. Neither of us feel less like adults due to this and it's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

My in-laws offered but we said no thank you. It was important for us to do it on our own and for the house to feel like ours. They were not thrilled with the neighborhood we chose but we bought a house we could afford. 10 years later we are very happy that there are no strings and that we have done it on our own.

Nope. Thanksgiving dinner would taste different.

Proud to say that everything we have ( including our paid off house) was earned by us!

No. We were never offered anything from our parents nor did we have expectations of them to offer.

That said, we have the opinion that if you can't afford it, you don't buy it. Delayed gratification is one of our mottos.

We did purchased our daughter's condo (7/13) for her to use through college and thereafter if she chooses. When she is ready to move, the funds will be hers to use as she sees fit. I have no worries of her using the money unwisely because of how she has been raised. She has the same values toward money as we do and how we have modeled that for her.

We have fully funded her education as well as hired her as an employee at our company and started her 401K.

My parents game me $3,000 towards my first house with my first husband - this was back in the mid 90's.

When our marriage hit the skids talk about awkward.

I think it's best to do it on your own if you can, though I certainly am and was grateful for my parents' help.

No. We paid cash for ours so no need for help but I see nothing wrong with well off parents helping with a downpayment if it means their children get set up in a nice community and of course appreciate it and are frugal. They just need help getting started... To me the downpayment is a hurdle different than the monthly payments. And they can more quickly start building wealth paying a mortgage vs rent. I'd see it as helping them make an investment but again, they'd have to be hard working, appreciative kids. Spoiled and entitled attitude? Then forget it.

No help was expected or needed.

When my husband and I bought our first house my father loaned us $500 to put in central air conditioning. My father in law came and put it in. We paid it back in $50 payments. About 10 years later we bought a bigger house. My dad loaned us $5000 towards the down payment. We ended up over our heads. It was the beginning of the housing crisis and we lost the house eventually. My father passed away and didn't see us loose the house but it was hard anyway.

My parents and my husbands parents helped indirectly. Our parents paid for our college education to help us become more self sufficient. Then when my husband and I got engaged we both were living with our respective parent's houses rent free. Our parents also paid for our car insurance, food, toiletries etc until we were able to purchase our own home once we got married.

Once we moved in my dad painted, remodeled the kitchen, remodeled a bathroom, added a deck and sliding door and put in new siding and windows. (We paid for materials and my dad did not charge us for his labor. He is a general contractor.) I've been married for 18 years and my dad was over my house all last week building built in cabinets in my basement and adding lighting etc. so he still helps us a ton. I am blessed!!!

I think it's pretty unusual to help kids buy a house. College costs, yes. House? Not so much. Curious question~

Yes. His parents buy each child and grandchild a house. I didn't want to accept it because my MIL can be a nightmare and I was used to having a mortgage. It has been a huge blessing allowing us to afford private school and a yearly vacation. I will do the same for my kids.

my in-laws gave us $1000 to help with the down payment. my parents paid my husband to build them a deck (still beautiful and solid as a rock almost 30 years later.)
we were very grateful to both of them. it made our first little house a reality.
my son bought his first house a little over a year ago. we gave him a little toward the down payment as a college graduation gift, and also paid for some repairs that needed to be done prior to closing (it was a short sale) but he's paying us back for that money.
while i do agree that people shouldn't buy if they can't afford it, obviously, i don't see anything wrong with parents helping out if they can do it and it doesn't tangle up the emotional/gratitude/expectations factor.
khairete
S.

no. We are renting, but when we do buy a home, they will not help us. My parents, the few times they have helped us out with a rental deposit or whatever, we have had to pay them back PLUS the interest they would have earned with the money being in the bank.
My husbands mom wants to throw us a house warming party when we do buy. I am not sure how I feel about that. We have been married for almost 12 years and we do not need anything. I think if she really wants to have a party for us, then she can, but I'm going to tell everyone, no gifts please.
My parents have plenty of money, my mother in law doesn't.

We would never every have considered asking. If we couldn't afford a house, we wouldn't have purchased one. That said, my parents did send a substantial check after we closed - it was a complete surprise.

I went to a class a few years ago where an attorney gave us advice about helping our kids in these times. Where divorce is more common and things you help the kids get can be taken away in a heart beat.

I have friends who give their kids food storage, pay their bills, take their kids for them for weeks at a time or go to their house to help, and more.

They normally don't have to help their kids at all but if something happens where they need help these parents are right there to help out. These are wonderful loving and supportive people.

One of these friends daughter's had an emergency happen when she was near her due date and her parents dropped everything and went to her home and cared for the kids, bought all the groceries, cooked all the meals, took the grand kids to every single thing they had on the calendar. Just so the hubby could be at work or at the hospital with the mom and not have to worry about a single thing. That's an awesome family in my opinion.

The attorney gave advice about helping your kids buy a house. He said if you did decide to give your child a monetary gift then you have to make the check out to them, not both of them, that way it is a gift to her. If she uses it for a down payment on a house then it's her money to do with as she please....this way the house has nothing to do with either set of inlaws.

IF the in-laws or parents want to put a down payment on a house then there is the possibility of having their name on the paperwork. This protects their child and their investment. IF IF IF the marriage broke up and there was a court battle regarding the home there is that added protection of having mom or dad's name on it so the daughter or son would retain it and mom and dad would not lose that money outright.

It can be a good thing or a bad thing. The circumstances surrounding this sort of help is very personal and is up to those parents.

If I had money and saw that the down payment was the only thing keeping them from being able to buy a house then I'd probably help them.

I say that because....often rent is higher than a house payment. Sometimes it's a lot more costly to add on a lot of insurance, repair funds, and doing all that.

It's a balancing act for sure.

My parents paid my house note for me for a few months while I was in the process of divorcing my ex.

Neither my husband's or my parent's gave us money to purchase a house. However, my husband's great uncle gave us annual monetary gifts that probably totaled $30K over about 10 years. That helped a lot. Edit: It really depends on the housing prices in your area. We lived in the San Francisco Bay Area and our first home was $350K and 1300sf. Our down payment was about $60-70K thousand. It's nice to not need help but saving up that much money while paying rent is difficult. I lived in an apartment until I was almost 38.

My mother in law helped us find a house and navigate the world of mortgages and whatnot. But she didn't help us monetarily.

Sort of.
One lent us their enclosed trailer for moving so we didn't have to rent a U-Haul. They also LENT us money for the inspector.

The other LENT us money for new carpeting in the new house, that we paid back as soon as the sale of our old house went through. They also let us, kids and dog stay with them for 2 weeks while we got the new house ready.

No, and I wouldn't want them to. We bought our first house at age 30. We were both professionals without children. We only just moved to our second home at age 44, now with two kids, one income, equity and stability. We have no plans to move until we retire.

My husband and I got married and bought our house at the same time. My dad gave us a nice wedding gift that went towards the mortgage, my husbands dad gave us some steak knives.

My parents couldn't afford to do so. My ex-husband's parents could have (and did for his siblings) but the money would have been tied to a lot of strings. So, nope.
Some people are fortunate enough to have this kind of help, but I don't think that most people are. Nice, if one gets it. Should not be expected. Sometimes should be declined.

No, and I never would have expected them to. I find it surprising actually that anyones does, unless they are really really well off. I expect that if my parents have any extra money that they use it towards their retirement. I am an adult, if I want to own a home I will find my own way to it without them. If they offered help I would refuse.

She helped us and no we did not ask for any sort of help. We could have done it on our own. My husband and mil wanted to renovate houses and needed a starter "practice" home and our home happened to be it. It's worked out for us and we are almost done paying her back.

no. no one helped us.

I don't think anyones parent should feel obligated to help buy them a home. You should purchase a home when you can afford one. It is a privilege to own a home, not a right. Some peoples patio sets cost 500.00 total so that was nice of them to contribute so much for your patio set. I have 4 children and would probably have to eat cat food for the rest of my life if I helped each of them buy a house. I will be helping the best I can to put them through college though so they can eventually afford to buy their own home.

Nope.

My in-laws occasionally chip in for our rent, but that's only because we are letting my SIL live with us without paying any room and board so she can go to school from our house moving around with them. (FIL works construction and they rarely live in the same place more than a year.) we had to rent a bigger house, and the utilities, gas, and grocery bills are quite a bit higher with her... So when things get a little too tight, they are good about helping us out.

We did not get any financial help when we bought our first house. When we bought our second house, we borrowed $6000 from my parents so that we could avoid paying PMI insurance (must have deposit of 20%) We paid them back with interest in less than 1 year. We have helped our kids because we were in a position to do it. We bought the townhouse my son and DIL owned (when the marked tanked) to free them up to buy a house to live in without stairs while the interest rates were low. We have been renting out the townhouse profitably since then and now that the real estate prices have rebounded, we may put it up for sale.

My husband's parents gave us 20% down for our first house. We had the money in savings, but they wanted to do it. It was money they had put aside for college for him, but he got a full ride, so they decided to give it to us to buy our first house. We no longer own that house, but reinvested the down payment into our next house.

Nope. They didn't. If I need help to buy a house, then that tells me that I can't afford it.

My husband and I put off buying our second home until we could do it on our own and feel comfortable financially doing so. We paid off our house in less than 10 years. I take great pride in knowing that we did it ourselves!

We had no expectations at all that any of our parents would help us.

No, my husband got an insurance settlement from a car accident as a teen and his parents guided him to put most of it as a down payment on a condo when he was 20. So that was his first house and all his own money. I moved into it when we got married, and paid into it for many years and we sold that to buy "our" first house.

But his brother and his wife live in a house my IL's bought when they had to quickly re-invest some money from some other property sale... BIL and SIL pay mortgage and utilitites, but it's not "theirs"... they want to move soon and it seems actually kinda sticky now. Glad to not be in that situation.

My in-laws gave us our down payment--but they were living with us (they now live 1500 miles away, and we gave them some of the $ back for their down payment on their home in CA). We've since taken over many of their bills, since we can't give them a lump sum return.

No, my parents did not help me.
I put myself through school and made my own way as they were never in
a financial position otherwise.
I think that makes kids more responsible.

No. We saved and had our first home built. Then when we had enough equity we sold that and bought the home we live in now (14 years ago), and we love it.

not a penny, plus i don't have parents or relatives

i do hope i can help my children when that time comes

We got our home from family. My husband's father got a loan to buy a house and we just made his payments. Ours was an usual situation, though. The house was owned by an old family friend in need of some fast cash, my father in law wanted to improve his credit, and we had just started looking for a house. The house was only 12,000 so we did not need a mortgage, just a personal loan. Normally, though I would say that it probably more unusual for people's parents to help buy a house.

My parents helped us indirectly (but very importantly).

For the 1st, we were moving from across the country and DH was back in our old state while I lived with my parents for about 6 months. He got here about 4 months in and we looked for a house for 2 months. This gave us time to get to know the area, save money, and take our time to find a good place (we bought a small, cheap condo).
Three years later, for the 2nd house, we moved back in with my parents (+ our 2 year-old daughter) for about 7 months while we rented out the condo, saved money, and found our (possibly) forever home! We had tried to sell the condo (on the market for about 1.5 years), but that was a really bad time to be a seller and we just couldn't get a decent break-even offer.
They didn't charge us rent either time, but we did pay half of the utilities and groceries. We probably could've made it work without their help (and the stress of moving in with parents... ugh), but it would've been much more difficult and taken us much longer to save up the money for down payment/closing costs.
DH's family is "perpetually poor" so we're usually the ones doing things to help them out... I would hope that one day I will be in a position to help my kid(s) with their first home purchase if they needed it. Of course, funding college would be a better option (in my opinion)! Jeez, what I could do if my parents could've helped with *those* bills!

I think it's awesome that so many families have the financial ability to loan/gift so much! Our neighbors (we love them, they're awesome) were gifted their HOUSE by her grandma (who was the originial owner since ~1960)! All they have to do is fund the renovations for updating various rooms! I can only dream of what we could do with our house if we didn't have a mortgage payment!

My parent's loaned us $20k so we could hit the 20% point and then we paid it back asap. His parents gave us nothing, but that's just always how it's been and I've gotten to the point it doesn't bother me.

I'm an only child and personally would never expect my parents to buy anything for me, let alone a house or a good chunk of it. They have helped a number of times with larger loans on the house and cars, but we always pay them back...sometimes with interest and other times without. I don't depend on it though and we had lots saved already.