I recently found out that I have started to suffer from panic attacks, i have had them most of my life, but they weren't a problem for a couple of years. Now that my SIL knows this, she doesn't want her kids to come over. I tried to reassure her that the cause wasn't due to my kids, but I don't think that she believed me. I have been helping to take care of my nieces and nephew off and on for the past 7 years, so I've been very involved. Now my oldest, he's 13, knows that my SIL and her husband don't want their kids over here, but they still make up excuses all of the time. Direct talk doesn't work with them because, I'll be starting a "fight" in the family and it would be all my fault. My son wants to use his new video game toy as a reason for a couple of them to come over, but I don't want him to get used for his Wii.
A bit more information. My SIL is a school nurse with a medical background. This is not the first time that they have used something against us, however this is one of the first times that they are really treating our kids badly too, in ingoring my oldest one's calls, he calls almost every day and has yet to speak with them. They screen their calls for collectors, but they don't even call back when my oldst calls.
ok the only thing that comes to my mind when reading this was, whats wrong with your SIL? there is sooo many people who suffer from panic attacks and are ok. does she think she perfect? honestly if i was in your shoes i wouldnt care about starting a fight because they are being mean to your kids also. this isnt just about your panic attacks! have you ever done something to make her not want her kids to come over? i dont know good luck!
it seems like there's something deeper involved. really, if they're so concerned about their children being safe in your home, they could just stick around while the kids all play. they don't have to "ban" their kids from your home.
is there any other reason they may not want them over? maybe a fight or situation you didn't know about between the kids?
i just find it sad that "family" would use your condition against you instead of trying to help you through it.
If it is your SIL that is doing all of this then talk to your brother. Tell him that you don't appreciate things. I found in my family, the only thing to do is be straight forward. My sister and BIL do not like my nephew coming over to my house because my husband and I raise our kids differently. I do not let my kids watch a lot of the programs that they do, and also, my son only has a V.Smile - not a playstation,X-box, and Wii (like my nephew). I feel that this is a critical stage in his life where learning is a priority, they think that paying money to send him to some fancy school is going to teach him everything he needs to know. When my sister told me that she doesn't agree with the way I raise my son, I told her to shove it up her ...... I raise my kids how I want them to be raised, and that's that.
We talked about the situation and the middle ground is my mother's house or my father's. That's where the kids are allowed to play with eachother because there- grandma and grandpa have the final say.
Oh jeez. Maybe you could get her some info on panic and anxiety. She should know that it doesn't mean you're crazy. I guess its hard for people to understand. As for your son, let him use his toy for a reason. I think more than half of childhood friendships are based on who has great toys! He'll be ok.
