Almost 6-Year-old Wants a Nintendo DS or a Wii

We are a 'Wii Friendly' family. We get games that they have to be active in (Wii Fit is excellent for balance and Go Diego Go, good for following directions).

Mario Kart has been very fun for all of us to enjoy.

As with any new thing, they will want to play it all day for the first two weeks, but set a time, using it as a reward is great, and stick with it.

Get into the games with them and you will have a great time too.

We have a DS also, my older daughter plays with it, but there is not much interaction, so it is fine for older kids but I'm not in favor of it for younger ones.

Good luck!

D.

I have a 5yr girl and a 6yr girl, they each have a DS. They can link them and play together. They are very active and they have not forgotten about playing out side, reading, coloring, painting, or skating. They stop on their own after 20 min. or so and move on to something else. Its my 15yr old step son that can play the WII all day if not watched. Which we bought for the whole family. The sports games like bowling we play together as a family. The DS's are great for trips and when I do my cardio class. There is a built in drawing and messaging program. It works up to twenty feet or so. Some games will link together with just one game card like Mario cart. He can play it with his cousins. You can also rent games at Blockbuster before you buy to see if he will like it. There are pluses and minuses, but if you go into it everyone knowing the rules and limits it goes much smoother. Or have earned time with reading or chores. Good luck.

Hi A.,
We have the Wii and its great exercise for the kids. Most of the games wear you out...well have a great day and good luck..

J.

Hi A.,

Wow - if I could turn back time. :) I am a SAHM of 5 (5th came last week) :) ... I've had the opportunity to experience both senarios.

With my oldest, who is now 15, I was very careful about what I allowed into my home, and what allowed him to experience. When he was in K-2nd grade, we went through the 'should we get a playstation' phase. My mom really wanted to get him one and my entire family thought I was crazy for not letting him have one. They would say 'it's only a game and you can limit the time he has on it'. But, I could not see any educational value in a playstation. Especially because the majority of the 'learning' games that we saw were predominantly pc games. (I would allow him to play jumpstart, putt-putt, ect, on the computer). Anyway, I explained to him that there are sooooo many fun things to do in this world, we just don't need one - especially if there is a possibility that it could be just a time waster. I explained that it would be more fun to visit friends/family because he can play there, and its more 'special' that way. He agreed.
Well, then doubt crept in. After I had 2 more boys, (I was homeschooling at this point - something else I received a ton of flack for - but the best decision I have ever made!)
I gave in and we purchased a playstation 2, later in years a nintendo game cube, and recently received the wii for Christmas.

Here's the outcome:

My oldest is a very confident child - in a loving way. He has no problems making his own decisions - regardless of 'peer pressure' and he understands that 'getting something new' is no big deal. He understands that the desire to have something goes away shortly after you receive it, and you can live with or without anything. His main focus is on reading, writing, and playing music. He is a freshman in high-school and, because we homeschool, is concurrently enrolled in Shasta College where he's now taking pre-calculus and english 1b - which is a response to writings class. His plan is to graduate during his junior year so that he has more time to focus on his writing and music. He understands that it's not necessary to graduate early, but he wants to get high school out of the way, so that he can do what he loves, instead of only whats required. - - He enjoys playing the wii occassionally, but refuses to allow himself to play too long - he says its a waste of time unless its a rainy day and there's nothing else to do. :)

OK... so what about my other 2 sons that received the playstation....

I began to notice that the reports and writings that they did during school were always about some sort of game character (oh, also, I never let them play anything other than an E rated game). Their conversations 95% of the time had to do with a game. Also, they began to drop the quality of their work so that they could just get it done. Over time I noticed that their 'play time' together began to be about little characters fighting. Then, they began to argue more. Their focus on learning all but went away. It became a chore to get through a days worth of schoolwork. To resolve this, I did the 'stupidest' thing of all. - - I would tell them that if schoolwork wasn't done, they would not play the wii. (I know, DUH! Nothing like making schoolwork a chore and the wii a reward!)

Like I said, this 'crept' in, so I didn't really realize what was going on, but I've since been reflecting on what has caused this change in them.

We have since banned the wii totally. I will have to say that the wii can be a blast as an occasional FAMILY game because of the 'wii play' that comes with the unit, but, we are at a point now where if they play for even one half hour, they jump back in time to 'video junkie mode' so we just can't do it yet.
Soooooo, does this mean that all of this is caused by a video game? NO absolutely not - it's a combination of things - but because of the way kids learn, when they find something they really enjoy, that's where all the energy goes - so why introduce such a huge distraction(?)
Also, one thing I have learned for a fact is that when you stand your ground on what is important, your children will understand, will respect you more for it, and will learn to stand their ground regardless of what the rest of the world thinks.

I used to tell my kids that when God gave them to me, he also gave me the guidelines needed to raise them - noone else got their guidelines. And that, just because other parents did different things, that did not mean it was ok for them. I would tell them that the decisions I made were to help them find their gifts and talents so that they could have the best life God intended for them. I wholeheartedly believe this.

Sooooo... In summary, if I could turn back time - - I would have stuck to my guns and went on a hike or done a science project together, maybe some reading - - whatever - - but I definitely would not buy a playstation, wii, whatever for my kids. I would get a wii for family game night, but thats it. :)

Whatever you decide, I'm sure that decision will end up being the right one for your family. :)

Have a fantastic day!!!

R.

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My son is now 26, and a delightful young man. When he was young, we had a Nintendo sytem. I played Mario Brothers with him and some other games. We had a lot of fun together, sharing something he enjoyed. Because he would have watched too much TV, we restricted all of our kids use of the TV to weekends, and the rest of the time was for general play, art, music, etc. Since use of the Nintendo or Wii requires turning on the TV, this was restricted as well. My son is now a delightful, funny, smart, easy going Physics Engineer. I am very proud of him. I think you can monitor your child's use of the Nintendo or Wii system, and enjoy playing along side him. And, you can be assured that your child can also turn out to be a smart and wonderful person.

You've received a lot of great advice and insight herre. You also seem to have a strong instinct that this isn't a good idea for him right now. Don't succumb to the pressure from relatives. I can understand how they want to give such a "big" gift. Maybe ask them instead to help pay for outdoor camp, scouting activities, involvement in sports, and if they do, really talk it up so they get the validation they seem to need in giving such a gift. Also, food for thought for when we are grandparents, aunts, etc....My daughter has an Aunt who will outdo Santa at Christmas and gives her by far the most and most expensive gifts. Is she her favorite relative? Not really. The relatives who play with her are. These relatives also realize you can give a child a big box, cool rock, old decoritive button, handme down toys cousins cherished, Even overalls from Salvation Army that are the same as her Aunties wear....all these gifts will be just as much appreciated (or more) than the latest craze. Take care and All the best! T. (sorry for the poor grammar, slow brain this morning)

I hate to say it, but if you get him one it probably WILL curtail all those other wonderful activities. Those things are a nightmare. Boys are addicted to them. When your kid is the only one who doesn't have one, however, it causes other problems. They never want to be at your house, for one.

Good luck with it. If you find the solution, let me know.

I wouldn't get the game system for him. You're probably right in that it would detract from your son's usual, more healthy, activities. Maybe when he's older. But, then, we don't do much in the way of TV here, let alone video games.

Hold off as long as you can! I too have a 6 yo son, and I have not given him any electronics with the exception of access to the computer and Disney.com. There are some social reasons to give him the game and some reasons not too. The most important thing I think we can teach our children is how to have relationships. Relationships that are respectful and courteous and deeply caring. My personal belief is that too many children are over-indulged and don't understand delayed gratification and don't understand that these games are not real. The pathways in the brain are still developing, and all of that stimulation from the games are reinforcing pathways that are immediate, impulsive and aggressive. I don't know how you're son is so I can't say for you, but my son is naturally aggressive and I have to tone it down. I good measuring stick would be how he does with cartoons that are stimulating - does he get more aggressive or try to act out that stuff? If it is not a problem, than use the previous advice about moderation and limits and he should be fine. The problem that we get into is when we allow video games to substitute for quality time with our kids.

I am holding off as long as I can! I don't want to spend the money on the main console, and then buy games all the time b/c they are not cheap.

Good luck!

M.

Yes A. you are right to be concerned. If you allow one at his age and try to redtrict usage you will have a fit throwing otherwise calm little boy. It is most important now to make school and his homework rime a routine. It is very addicting as evidenced by grown men sleeping outside of stores to be the first ones to get a new game and children are getting less and less active not wanting to go outside. When my son wanted one the answer was no and we got a gameboy for my daughter when she was 11 with only 2 games. We have just recently bought the Wii but she doesn't know it and we will have only the Wii fit and interactive sport game to keep an active life and for family time. She is soon to be 15 yrs old ans has always been able to self entertain and gets mostly all As in school. She has liked reading and writing stories since she was 5.

I was worried about this issue, but have found that the Wii is not addictive, especially if you are careful about which games you buy. The Wii Play and Wii Sports discs (that I think came with it) are fun, nonviolent and nonaddictive. We got one of the Mario Brothers games as a gift. That one WAS addictive (for our 10 yo daughter). I gave that one away.

I think the Wii is great for rainy days, weekends and summer/holiday vacations. It's really no different than TV, you just have to set up rules for when and how much they are allowed to play.

I like the Wii better than the DS, which my daughter saved up for and bought herself (saving her allowance and any money she received as gifts). The DS games do tend to be more on the addictive side. I also like that the Wii allows for multiple people to play it together. The DS is more isolating.

I hope this helps,
-D.

My 3 year old son loves playing on the computer (noggin.com/playhousedisney.com) and has a hand held v-tech. My 2 nephews, 10 and 7 have had gameboys, nintendo ds and the Wii. Yes they love to play any and all games. The exception is when there are other things to do. In this day and age, with electronics such a main-stream focus, he should have one and know how to play. He should be learning the computer etc. When it is nice outside or there are other things to do , the kids want to do that. When they are bored and it is raining outside it is a good and also, nice way for them to learn. A lot of the games are educational.

For you, The Wii would be the best, it is interactive and involves more than just sitting there. (Didn't you go to the arcade or have an atari when you were little) The games will not have a negative effect. My 3 year old loves to play pretend, is constantly outside loves having is daddy read to him. It is all in how it is introduced and utilized.

Yes, it can be a problem, if that is all the child wants to do, but that is why we create rules. Don't have him forgo something based on your fears and what you feel is negative without trying it. Introduce 1 for his birthday and then see how it goes. He will be sooooo excited. With the nintendo DS he can play with his friends by hooking then together. You could use it to play memory games (I do) Like anything else, including tv, moderation is the key. Good luck

I got my 5 year old, 6 in February, a DS for Christmas. Well, technically "santa" got him one. But it's been ok so far as far as usage goes, no addictive problems. He still does other things, reads, draws, does the imaginitive play with his two younger brothers. It's also been a good barganing chip. He hates to get grounded from it, so it helps as far as ensuring good behavior in a nice restaurant, or just going grocery shopping when he's in his "wants to fight me on everything" moods. I definitely regulate the time he gets to play it. He gets 30-45 minutes when he gets home from school. Then he has to put it away and do other things, like drawing or reading, or just interacting with his little brothers. Plus it's nice in the car on long trips, and I have made sure to get several educational games as well as a couple just plain fun ones. We haven't had any problems so far.

Hi A.!

As the mother of 2 boys, I can honestly say that I prefer them playing the Wii or PS2 rather than the computer games. In today's world of technology, it's hard to grasp what is better for our children. Through "live & learn" experiences, it can defintely get carried away, however, I am the mother and always in charge. Monitoring them can vary depending on the day...........school night or summer, etc.... I truly see no harm at this point in my home.

I enjoy the Wii, personally, because it's more "family" oriented. Even as I type this to you, my 2 boys are playing together laughing :O) They are bowling, standing up off the couch and moving their bodies on a cold and windy day. Even though they are years apart, they can play together. The PS2 is easy for THEM, but not for me, so I can't play with them :O) That's the difference in my opinion.

If your mother is being so generous, I'd let her buy one for your son. Just have AA batteries on hand, and teach him the proper handling of Disc's right from the start. It will truly bring a whole new laughter into your home and will include a whole new style of family fun.

~N.

Dear A.,
I would hold off on the Nintendo for a while...depending on your son's ability to restrain himself from becoming addicted to it. I got my son a play station several years ago and fortunately, he rarely plays it. I got him guitar hero, and we have had a blast with that. My friends have a son who cannot or will not grasp, "You have 30 minutes of play station and that's it". He will not stop on his own. On a sunny day when everyone else is outside in the pool, he wants to be inside playing video games. He'll say he's going in to get a drink or go to the bathroom and not come back out. Sure enough, he's playing a darn game. He's been grounded, they have literally unplugged everything and hidden all the games. The minute they put everything back to try to trust him, he's right back to his old tricks. It doesn't help that he's got a neighbor friend who is the same way and his partner in crime. They BOTH got in big trouble because they went to the dad and said that mom told them they could play games when what they were really told was no TV, no nothing until they'd cleaned up the mess they'd made in the bedroom. Talk about a mad mama!
I guess it just depends on the kid, but I know one mom who wishes she'd never allowed any games in her house.
As for Wii, my neighbors have one for their little granddaughters to play when they come over. They're just little bitty girls, but they all take turns and have fun with it. They invite my son over when they have Wii night.
It's just like anything else...too much of a good thing is a bad thing. The new wears off of things pretty quickly for my son and he's happier running around outside. Some kids have a harder time with that.

I hope you'll find what works best for you!

Hi A.,

Like with all things we have to teach our kids moderation. Sure it may be a bigger pain for you to have to teach that but he will truely benefit.
It's like food, they can't eat as many cookies as they want, and one or two cookies is not bad.

I was worried about that kind of thing too, but for my husbands family (back in the nintendo days) they all played together. Mom, dad and everybody.

I say try it, he may get bored with it. Be very knowledageble about the games he plays at your house and others.
I am sure with some monitoring it will be fine.

Follow your instincts and say no. I work for a school and I can tell you these young boys get addicted and their grades do decline rapidly. I dont know much about the WII, but if he is normally active he probably doesnt need it...

It's a hard call. Both of my boys, now 28 and 29, were hooked on Atari and then the regular old fashioned Nintendo. Hooked meaning they loved it! I only let them play when I knew there wasn't something better to do. They both loved reading, and were involved in sports. There were lots of kids to play with in the neighborhood, so on nice days they were outside. I see nothing wrong with the electronics (except for violence filled games, they were not allowed period!), we are an electronic based society and I do believe it builds skills in them that they will need as adults in this high tech world. It's totally up to you to not let them become zombies. Both of my sons are now working as networking technicians for the defense department and are making excellent livings. My granddaughter (8 mos old) is already facinated by her mommy's laptop. It's the way of the world. Just like anything and everything pleasurable, MODERATION is the key.

A.,

I would go with your gut reaction. It sounds like you feel really strongly about it's negative effect. I would listen to yourself. My opinion is that 6 years old is way to young for video games etc. Kids are so impressionable and you said your son is creative-- I would continue encouraging him to be creative. There will be lots of time in his future for playing it at friends or family's houses. But he is so young-- I wouldn't get him one.

Molly

What an interesting question and what a great conversation. I have two sons, 10 and 6. No DS or Wii yet in the house. For my older boy's March birthday, we mentioned the DS. He really thought about it (everyone in his class has had one for years) and decided he wanted a good wooden chess set instead. (We even mentioned that DS probably has a chess game--we really know nothing about them.) He still wanted the chess set and is currently reading books to teach himself. He also reads a lot. That is just the kind of kid he is.

My six year old has not asked yet, but we will not think about allowing him to have one until he is reading proficiently. (This is why I was sort of glad my older boy wanted the chess set instead.) My husband and I are both English professors and we based this particular decision on our personal and profession experience. As a family we really believe in the importance of nurturing literacy skills and creating a book-rich environment. It really does matter.

My boys also do martial arts, play soccer and swim, so we spend a lot of time with physical, outdoor activities.

Having said all that, I think there is nothing wrong with these games and that we will likely be getting one in the near future. Both boys have Leapsters and go through phases where they play a lot and then they move on to something else. I think the best thing is that you play with them once in awhile so that they can "teach" you and so that you still have bonding time.

I appreciate all the ideas here. I have been pondering this too.

Hi A., I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with having either of those, as long as you set limits. The DS can be interactive with other DS players. Most require you to have the same game and sometimes can get expensive. The WII is alot of fun for the whole family. They actually have many educational games for each unit. My kids, who are much older have them all. My niece and nephews have both. The DS you can take with you wherever you go. I think you will be fine in whatever decision you make. Good Luck

Go for the Wii. There are lots of things you can do with it besides playing video games. As mentioned below playing all sorts of sports is fun for the whole family. 'Endless Ocean' for the Wii is great. It's not a standard video game. It's exploring the ocean, finding & collecting fish, taking journeys, it's amazing. What he plays on the Wii will be determined by the games you buy so you can have some control over what he does. Setting limits to it is a whole different story tho. But as said above and many others said the Wii has so much more to offer than just standard video games.

If you question it so much and your gut says don't get it, go with your gut!!!!!! I have three 5,7,and 4 and they all have wonderful imaginations!!!!They dance, sew, and are very creative!! My son has even created a "Fairy tale story about Aliens back in September that he still plays and is constantly adding plots and characters to;he's five. My oldest expressed that she wanted a Wii as well, "Come on. everyone has one!" she said. I won't give in and didn't even have to think about my answer! Imagination is the best, "Wii" and "Nintendo" one could ever have! And it's free!

Hi! We don't have the Wii but my MIL does and we go over there for family night Wii parties. It is a lot of family fun that we can all do together, which is rare since we have a 15 yr old all the way down to a 2 yr old. Does your MIL live nearby? If so maybe she can get it for him for his birthday but keep it at her house for "special" times like when everyone can come over to play. Otherwise if you don't want to do that, it really is easy to restrict their useage of it (we do have a playstation 2) just make sure you have rules from the very begining and stick to them. My son knows he has to ask and if I say no and he has any kind of negative comment he knows he won't be playing it for quite some time. Our kids get plenty of other activities in, they do not sit in front of the tv all day because we don't allow it but also because they love to play outside and do other things.

The Wii is really a lot of fun for the family though, we used to go bowling as a family but they got rid of family night so now we can have family bowling night with the Wii at my MIL.

i've held the line against getting one, and i am glad. recently at a party with about 12 kids and twice as many adults, the one thing we all had to keep settling disputes over was the hand held ds games. at one point i went in and there were three nintendo ds's out, and each one had two or three kids hovering over it-there were only two kids that were relating to each other face to face. it was tragic. thats my two cents, i do not think they are appropriate until teen or tween years, but it is a hard line to hold, there is a great deal of pressure out there to have one. i think it is worth resisting.

Go for the Wii. It is lots of fun, easy to use, the games are less violent, and encourages physical activity (the controls require jumping and swinging arms). It also has fitness games that you might like (yoga).

Let him play with it just like you would any other new toy for a declared period of time (a week?), and then after that limit its use to a reasonable time (consult with your son about what he thinks is reasonable--letting him set the time means that he won't argue with you as much when you tell him to shut it off, and use a timer so that there is no confusion about when it is over).

I have an 11 yr old son and a 7 yr old daughter and they have never had either of those....everyone always remarks on how easily they entertain themselves.Your fears are well founded....we have wonderful kids all around us and we can tell the difference when they are allowed access to media.There are many many articles on the subject. P.

I have two girls, 10 and 7. They both have a DS. They mainly use them for travel. It is a godsend. We travel overseas a lot. Also great for long car rides. They can play games together or seperately. At home they almost never play them. But, they are girls... We also have a Wii and they only play when my husband thinks of it... I think both are nice things to have but might think differently if they were on them all the time...

Hi A. -

Your intuition you have about your son is your most valuable source of information. Here is my experience:

I have 4 kids - my oldest is a son, and he started playing games on the computer when he was 2 years old - we thought it was so cute and that he was so precocious, and that is was so 'educational'. He is now 18, and we have had nothing but stress and fights around video games since then. I firmly believe that in my son's case, he will have a lifetime struggle with that particular addiction - it has wasted so much of his time, it has affected his grades at school, his quality of sleep, etc. We went through long periods of time where we simply got video game consoles out of the house - we restricted computer time (which, frustratingly, they need for school to do homework and research - so I have had to at times, sit there and monitor his homework time the entire time so he wouldn't get on online games...you can block certain websites, but not all of them) - and it is still ALL he thought about or cared about - even when a console was not in the house.
We have 3 younger children who do not have this addiction, and can play video games for an hour or so, and then get on with a normal life and they can take it or leave it - it doesn't affect them the same way. Each child is different. We've gone back and forth between having the video game console in the house for the younger children who could deal with it in a healthy way, and we didn't want to punish them for an older sibling who couldn't and then having to severely monitor my oldest son, and just banning them altogether. It has been a struggle. If I had to go back in time, I would have not allowed my oldest son to play video games at all - or at least until he was older. But my other children are just fine with it. If you do get your son a console, monitor it carefully - don't allow it to get out of hand. And pay attention to your intuition about it.
Good luck

I wouldn't worry about it too much. My son, who is 6, has had a DS for about 10 months and we just recently got a Wii for Christmas. He is a very active and very imaginitive, artistic child. Initially, he wanted to play a lot. After a couple of weeks, the novelty wore off and it is like every other toy or activity. My son regularly plays soccer, basketball, and baseball and chooses to draw or write stories more than playing video games when he has down time. If you don't make a big deal of it, it won't be a "bad" thing, just "another" thing. My 8 year old daughter plays Wii much more than her DS because the only Wii games we have are active and she just enjoys that more.

We fetl the same way & ehld off getting nay of htose until my husband bought a Wii a fwe months ago w/hsi b-day money. We have restrictions: 1/2 per week day when homework is done & then an hour on weekends. And when he misbehaves, Wii time is gone. So far, this is working out fine. We have & will continue to hold off on the hand-held one l ike GameBoys & Nintendos DS'. What we did buy him at 5 was a Leapster game & this past X-Mas, he got the more mature version; Didj. What we liked about both of these is that all games are educational. They both have games w/current TV & movie characters but all have some learning aspect to them. He has Star Wars the Clone Wars for his Didj but, again, it's educational. Best of Luck!

All things in moderation. . . .
remember that your child's generation will be more tech based than yours, so even video games are an impt part of development (fine motor skills, video userface)-- it just has to be limited so that more physical activity and artful activity is also a part of the day.

We gave our now 7year old a DS for his birthday last year. We monitor what games (only E) he plays, and there is NO, NO video games during the school week, no exceptions. He can play Friday night thru Sunday night but that's it. We spend School night reading for an hour before bed together. It balances it all out. He gets jealous some times that his friends play 24/7, but at least he is happy to have it on the weekends.

I have two 7 & 4 year old daughters. We bought the Wii for Christmas. We do not have any of the other games. My girls love playing the Wii with the family or when friends come over. If the weather is nice, they still would rather go outside to swing, play, etc. If they are in the house, they usually paint, do crafts, play school or dolls, etc. We use our Wii mostly as great fun family time -- maybe one night during the week for approx. 1 hour after homework and maybe on the weekends for 1-2 hours. It definitely is great exercise for the entire family.

I have a nine yo girl, eight yo girl, and a six yo boy. They all got one last year and I wish they were never invented!! My nine year old doesn't play with hers much thankfully. My eight yo picks hers up every few days and plays for about an hour. My just-turned six year old boy got one for Christmas (darn that Santa) and that's all he wants to do. He wakes up gets dressed and plays his DS waiting for breakfast. He brushes his teeth and hair and plays his DS waiting for us to leave for school. He comes home from school and plays his DS until his sisters get home. We do homework, then he plays his DS until dinner time. After dinner he plays his DS until we have to get ready to go to bed. He is addicted and throws a fit when I say "enough DS, do something else". I pride myself on saying that my kids don't watch TV except for cartoons on the weekends our TV is never on. Well it seems ridiculous now for me to say it because my kids sometimes bury themselves in their DS's for hours at a time. They don't hear you when you are talking to them. It is consuming their mind and they tune everything out. We don't have any other game systems so this is their electronic stimulation. I am doing some spring cleaning and got rid of so many of my son's toys. He asked what I was doing, I said you don't play with these anymore only your DS so we are getting rid of them. He didn't care. He turned around, sat down, and started playing his DS that was in his hand. He carries it everywhere. You have to make your decision with your child and monitor the usage, but in hindsight, I would have catapulted Santa right back up the chimney and told him to pick another toy from the sack!!

My hubby bought the PS3 "for our son" wink wink. Truth is - it has a blue ray DVD player built in. Anyway - our son is obsessed with the Lego Batman game, so we've had to set time limits and he knows that once the weather gets warmer we are going to be outside all day and only play Batman at night. I must admit - it is a really fun game and has improved his counting and teamwork/listening skills. Batman and Robin have to stay near each other to keep from getting stuck and they each have specific skills and tasks that they have to do. We play after dinner and it's more fun than checking my e-mail while he watches Wow Wow Wubzy. ;)
Our friends have Wii - we've played the simpler sports games with our son and it's a lot of fun and you have to jump around - not good in a small room.
Our son is 4 by the way and still loves to draw and play Legos & puzzles, sometimes we have to remind him that Batman is 45 minutes a day only to gt him to move on to a different activity - but he really loves playing it with one of us - not by himself and that's nice. It's hard to find activities that are fun for the adults and the kid.

Here is my thoughts and experience. My son has been growing up with his peers around him having these types of games from a young age. I'd say around 5 and 6 is when they started getting them. We didn't want one in the house because I sensed how consuming they are for little boys by the way other boys would talk about them all the time and the occasional boy who didn't seem to know how to function with out it( use imagination, pretend play, focus on anything for more then 5 minutes). So we allowed him to play at friends houses ( you really can't stop it), and said maybe when your 10 or 12 you can have one because we want you to develope your mind and have a good imagination and know how to not play it to much. Well this Christmas a family member sent a wii for Christmas much to our surprise. My son is now 9, daughter 12. We let them have it( we considered putting it away). I am so so glad that we never bought one early on. While my son is more mature now he could still be easily obsessed even still. It is hard to keep control of because they have so much fun that you feel like a bad guy taking away their fun. If he was younger he might think I was being a meany! But because he is older he fully understands and respect my authority and even tries to be self monitering. Over the last several years he noticed how some friends lost themselves in the games and really appreciated the friends who could play playmobile with him( My personal all time favorite toys). So I say absolutey wait as long as you can. My children were thriving with out it and I like who they are. It is just one more thing for me to have to monitor and I try not to have to many "no's" in my house. If you havn't started playmobile I highly recommend it. Hands down it is the toy that gets played with for years,( Maybe not if you had a wii in the house). My daughter got her first set when she turned 7 from someone. I never thought we would buy it because it is expensive but we have aquired a huge collection. how many toys can you say get played with for 5 years and counting. My children ,ages 3,9 and 12 all play with it together for hours and their friends.Boys and girls. Now thats bang for your buck. best wishes, R.

I just have to tell you a note here. we didn't buy our son one. H ewanted on for christmas I didnt get one for him because I thought he was too young. But all he wanted was a wii. So in the middle of jan we broke down and got him one. The biggest mistake I can make. That all he wants to do is that. he willplay 7 hours if you let him. I had to limited it. Now he is ony allowd to paly on weekend maybe 2 hours. He would not want to go to school. He tried to get sent home. all he wanted to do is be home with teh wii. he will not go to the park and do normal things. it was the worst thing I could buy for 5 years old. he also has mastered games for 10 year old. If you do buy it limit the time to maybe 1 hour a night. it is very hard to get him off of it. lots of behavior probelms with with. lay your ground rules prior and stick to them. My son is only 5 almost 6 as well.

It's a personal choice, but video games now are quite different than they were at first. They actually do encourage art, music, and adventurous play now. I'm not saying they are "Okay" now. That's up to you, but I think you'de be pleasantly surprised when you see your little ones learn something constuctive to encourage imagination and learning.

A.,

I introduced my now 6 year old to video games when he was 2, and my 4 year old is just starting to understand them now.. we use the consoles as a form of reward for chores done, when they have thier chores done and in my 6 year olds case his home work done then they can play for 30 minutes-1 hour... They go through phases on how often they want to play, some times they beg me endlessly to play making me want to throw the machines out the window, and other times (sometimes months on end) they don't ask to play at all, they would rather be doing other activities (usually anything that involves time with Daddy) usually outdoors.. When we didn't have a backyard it was harder to keep them away from the lure of the games, but now that they have access to freedom and sunshine they prefer to be out there... I have also noticed that they want to play more when they have a new game, but once the newness wears off they are back to thier semi-indifference... Good luck with your decision!

What about a Leapster instead? all of the games are educational. My 6 yr old has a Leappad and a Leapster2 and she plays with them quite a bit when she gets a new game and then usually when we have to be in the car for a long time or she goes to her uncles for a few hours (he has nothing for her to do). Other than thqat, she doesnt really play with it much. She has a DS as well, and it is the same thing as the Leapster. I do put a limit on how long she cam play in a week, regardless of if she plays that time in 1-2 days or it takes her all week.

Her dad is a gamer, and it is bad, but he is slowly getting better.

We have a 8-year old son and 5-year old daughter who just received the Wii as a gift from their granpa and we love it. The entire family is able to play together and we especially love the bowling game. The Wii is a better option than the Nintendo DS since it is primarily for a single user. Unlike some of the other video systems, the Wii system is alot more interactive so you get more physical exercise with it. If you use it as family entertainment like board games, you will be surprised how you and your family will enjoy it.

Hi A., I understand you completely. For years, we have declined the request for any type of system that hooked up to the tv. We did purchase for our son and daughter(now 18) handhelds(not sure the type). They could play those so long as homework was completed and had stayed out of trouble. Then my son started asking for a PSP(again told no and that will remain because it is wayyyy too expensive). But we did start thinking about the Wii. I figured that would be a much better option since we could all play it. I LOVE it. We just bought the WiiFit and I must say, I think I play it more than the kids after they go to bed. It's great for exercise. My little girl loves the running and the balancing. IMO, I would go for the Wii and make some fun family time. They still have rules that apply to the Wii. We even have a rhyme for it 123, no Wii. So they know if they do something wrong (small infraction) 3 times, they don't get to play. But it's automatically no game time if they get in trouble at school, or have it, etc. PLUS it's only played after all homework is done.

We got our kids the Wii and we love it! The rule is they cannot play for one than one hour a day and they have to be standing up. It is a great thing for the kids to have during the winter to keep them active. It comes with a lot of games already on the system. Tons of fun!

When my son "graduated" from preschool I bought him a gameboy and told him it was a big boy toy with big boy responsibilities. The only rule was the one I continue to use now that he has a nintenedo (He will be 8 in July.) That rule is that if he cannot turn it off when I ask and cannot have a conversation or leave it at home sometimes, then I will start restricting its usage. Our neighbors have a wii and my son goes over there to play. I don't know what their rules of play are. He insisted he had to have one too so I suggested he put all of his toys together and when he had enough money to buy his wii then we would do that. He threw a fit for a few hours then in the morning decided my original idea of playing with the neighbors was actually a nice compromise - "he could still have all of his great toys at home to play with and also be able to play wii with his friends. We recently went to a great 8 year old birthday party where there was unrestricted play on wii, nintendos and playstations for 3 hours straight. It was great! The best part was the active games they had for the wii. I told my son that if we had a wii that's how we would use it. All the other games are for one and use a screen and no muscles but your thumbs! I had thought that the wii was invented to get kids active and involve families together doing lightly competitive activities and laughing together. These particular games were like that and if I got a wii that is how I would choose to use it. Am I opinionated or what?! Good luck with your own decision. I just remembered one more thing that was helpful when he got his first nintendo (when he turned 7). I bought him his first watch at the same time and had him monitor his own time. He had a 15 minute limit each time he played and took alot of pride int he fact that he also knew how to tell time. G.

My son saved his own money for two years to buy a DS and his sister paid for the extended warranty. That way, if she broke it, it wouldn't be tragic. They each buy their own games and share it pretty well. They've had it almost a year, since they were 9 and 6. Of course, at the time the choice was between a WII and DS, but the DS was cheaper, so that's what they decided to get. Now they are saving for a WII. We don't have problems with it, and feel like it was a good purchase for them to have.

Hi A.,

I feel your pain! My soon to be 9 year old has been pleading for a DS (we have the Wii system the whole family really enjoys). I believe just about all of her friends have a DS which makes it harder for her not to have one. But here's my issue: Whenever her friends get together, the DS's come out - they bring them everywhere - sleepovers, lunch, playdates....to me it's really annoying - why get together if all you're going to do is play with your DS? And, then there is the cost factor - do I really trust my 9 yr. old with such an expensive toy? She loses her things all the time, her room is a disaster.....She does have access to the Wii system at home that she gets to play once her homework is done. I think I just convinced myself to not get her a DS for a least another year. I hope this helps you with your decision.
J.

I would go for a delayed gratification avenue. Tell him he has to wait until he is seven (or eight) to have that toy. Then I would suggest the Wii and make it a family game for family game night only. I've played the Wii with friends who have it at their home and it is fun, physical and interactive.

I purchased a Wii for my 7 year old, actually the whole family. It has interactive games that encourage movement and activity, as well as balnace and breathing, etc.. Like bowling, golf, tennis, wii fit (exercise program that has running, yoga etc..
I would recommend just being selective on the games purchased.
In regards to the DS it is just a plain old video game.. If this is selected I would definitley monitor use...

We were worried about the same thing when our oldest boy was about 8 (now 14) and wanted a Playstation. He wasn't really much of an artist or a reader though and so did not have many rainy day type activities that he enjoyed and we get a lot of rain in the winter. We had to set limits at first and occasionally have to remind him how long he and his brother have been playing on a cold, wet day. However, if it is sunny out, he will drag his younger brother (who does need time limits for games) outside to play wiffle ball or catch or toss a ball for the dogs. Of course Wii is great with all the physical games they offer to keep kids moving.

My sons have also both received the portable Game Boy and Nintendo DS games and those are usually ONLY allowed for travel. We just let our sons know how important it is to do a range of activities and if they "forget" the games go away for a while. It is a great motivation tool to get them to accomplish chores when they just don't feel like helping out. Doesn't happen often, but we don't hesitate to ground them from games if they play too much or don't help around the house. Six is not too young to help out the family...my youngest takes out the recycles, helps clean the bathroom, switches laundry, washes towels, unloads the dishwasher and scoops dog poop or feeds the dogs. Not each one every day, but at least one or two of those items each day. Hope you can find a good balance like we have! Good luck with your decision!

You are astute and correct to be concerned.

Addictive is an understatement! Especially for boys - who were designed to be hunters) and are visual creatures by nature.

I bought a PS2, against my better judgement, because i ran out of ideas for xmas presents. Stupid.

I find that it breeds disobedience (they wont get off it when told) Lazyness of body and mind (they'd stay on it night and day if they could, the boy doesn't read any more, is "bored" when not on it,when playdates come over that is all they want to do! not the kind of social inteaction needed) and they fight and bicker over it, even as they are playing it together! It has been a source of aggitation for me and I have to ban them from it constantly. I wish I had never opened that can of worms. My mother instinct knew better and I did it anyway.

Further, MOST of the games for the PS1, 2, and xbox are violent in nature. We only have a few decent games for ours (rated E,(everyone) or E10)and personally, I find that they always stick something in there that just didn't need to be there.
I have found innappropriate music in many of them, sexual in nature(think van halen-panama), and although the culture tends to think thats ok, I don't. Rap music (grand turismo game), smoking cigarettes (topgun game), bolt (violence, killing,)etc. I had to ban portions of games and make them turn the volumn off. It's just not worth it!

It does affect their desire to do other things. Just as any other ADDICTION does. It becomes an idol.
We are homeschoolers, and trust me, I see the difference between the first child, who reads ALOT but didn't have the games, and the second- who again, is a boy - I cant stress enough how much it affects boys - and his desire to read and play outside.

Although Wii is a cool game, again, it breeds lazyness. Unless a child is stuck in an apartment, there is no need to play ball on the screen when you can go outside and play it. Or, you can look at it the way a child might: why go outside and play it when I can play it from the comfort of my livingroom, next to my soda and snack?

I wanted to stick in one last thing- portable handheld games. UUUUHHHG! (which I would never buy) They make kids into rude non-communicative creeps that won't take their eyes off the stupid game long enough to even say hello. These kids are so addicted to them, they even take them to social gatherings and parties, and sit on the couch with thier faces in them all day. Boy , has our generation failed when it comes to teaching our children manners and communication skills.

I suggest the Wii, they have some great family games like Carnival Themepark & Carnival Golf that the whole family can enjoy. Nintendo DS is a good babysitter (I'm not knocking it because my boys have one also) but the Wii is fun for all.

I would hold off on the DS until he is 7 or 8. I purchased a PSP for my 6 year old and it did take away a lot of his creative energy. He is still creative via drawing etc. but he loved that thing and wanted to take it everywhere even to restaurants and we had to curb that behavior and we had to limit the time he was allowed to use it.
The Wii could be good for the whole family and it at least has games that will get him off of the couch. Either way, give him one more year of reading, leapster activities and computer learning games. This will help him more as he progresses in school. I learned that the hard way. Good Luck!

We have a Wii in our house (it's my SIL's who is staying with us for a few months) and my almost 6 year old daughter is ADDICTED! I used to want one but now I'm not so sure. We have restrictions:

no Wii before school
no Wii after dinner

So really her only time to play is after school until dinner time. The first thing she says when I pick her up from school is "can I play Mario Cart?" She goes from school, to Mario Cart, to dinner, to bed. No exercise, no outside time!

I've just, in the last week, started implementing that she has to have at least 30 minutes of outside play before playing the Wii (and that 30 minutes usually turns into an hour-1 1/2 hours) but it's a fight every day to get her to play anywhere other than in front of the TV.

I'm glad I've had this experience so that I can see how desctructive it can be but I don't think we'll be buying one of our own when my SIL moves out!

When my son got a ds from his aunt. I felt the same way you did. I was worried about him loosing his creative side and not wanting to do his homework. I limited his game use to weekends only. To tell you the truth, He would rather read a book or play basketball. The only time he plays it is if we have to go to my moms which is 30 min long and has ran out of books to read. As for a Wii, he plays it only with his cousins. I think with limited use, I think he'll be okay. I think they have some educational games as well too. My husband bought him diago.

my 7 yr old has ds, but she only plays it when homeowrk is done..all her stuff is cleaned up, and on the weekends. She is not to take it to school. She is now asking for a cell phone because one of her friends have one. I dont know about that one.....