Does anyone know of a good mariage counselor in Carmel?
Read the entire question and 5 answersI think my marriage may be ending soon and I have no idea what to do. I make a little over $20,000 a year and can't affort child care and an apartment. Any advice from other mothers who have gone through the same situation would be helpful. Thanks.
Read the entire question and 11 answersI need advice. I'm 31 years old and have recently gotten engaged. We would love to have a wedding, but are terrified because of the current economy.
Read the entire question and 74 answersMy husband and I have been married for 4 years now. We have been together for 5 years. About 2 years after we got married I got pregnant. That is when we started having problems. Prior to getting pregnant my husband was spontanious and enjoyed being with me. I know that had a lot to do with us being newly weds but I never anticipated for this to happen. People always joke that once you go down the isle the wife is the one that doesn't want to be intimate. In this case it is the exact opposite. After I had our son the lack of intimacy continued which led me to believe that he was not interested in me anymore. I started to feel inferior and not wanted. I almost screwed up at one point when another man started showing signs of affection towards me. I didn't feel as if I loved my husband and more and I honestly felt that we were together for our child only. I never did anything with this other man and I ended up telling my husband my feelings and why this had happened. It had been so long since someone had acted this way towards me that it felt so good just to be wanted and for someone to pay attention to me. Skipping ahead a little - we are still together. Telling him presented some rough times but we made it through. But now 3 years later we are still having the same issues. He doesn't come to be with me. He stays up late at night watching TV until he is completely exhausted and drags himself into bed or falls asleep on the couch. If I try to get close to him when he comes to bed he gets frustrated at me and tells me how tired he is. Sometimes I can catch him off guard in the morning (although the actions are all there - there is little feeling of compassion and love. Honestly I get tired of being the one that desires it and has to ask for it. He tells me that I bug him about it to much but that is simply b/c it only happens about once a month if I get lucky. I am only 23 and he is 30. When he was my age (from what I hear there were never any problems like this). I guess you can say he was very experienced. I know he is having some personal issues now as well. He is unemployed and has been for about 4 months now. So he is struggling with that and the financial difficulties associated with it. But it seems there has been something that will offer him an excuse every time for the last 3 years. He says it is not me. I know I have changed a little over the past few years and have gained a little weight with our son that I have been unable and unmotivated to loose. I have begged him to go to counseling with me. At one point he agreed and then we put it off b/c we were doing ok. Now he refuses again. I honestly don't know what to do and I wasn't sure if anyone else has gone through or is going through what I am. All I know is it is extremely depressing when the one man you are suppose to be with for the rest of your life shows very little interest in you.
Read the entire question and 9 answersHi, I am looking for advice for anyone and everyone. My husband and I had been planning to purchase a home for quite some time. We had financial difficulties and found ourselves filing for bankruptcy about a year and a half ago. We just found out that we had a late car payment after our BK in Feb of this year. Which was paid on the 30th day and they still counted it as late. This will prevent us from getting a home loan until our bk comes off our record. My husband now refuses to have a second baby, like we had been planning to do at the end of the year. I am completely upset about this. He's going to get "fixed" in order for us to never have children again. He's given me two options, continue living together and the marriage after he gets "fixed" or get a divorce or possibly just continue living together for the sake of our 2 yr old as just "roomates". I am a young mom and have always dreamed of having 2-3 kids so that they can grow up together and have a support system when I am gone. As it is, my husband's family and my family aren't close and he would never have any family around him other than my mother. I just need advice. I'm heartbroken either way and don't know what to do. My mother still lives with my step father and has for years just because of their financial standing despite that their relationship ended MANY years ago. I can't myself doing that. I'm too young and have hoped to never end up that way. Please pray for me and give me advice! Thank you.
Read the entire question and 15 answersMarried just over a year. He has been speaking online to an old lover. Hardly mentioning us. Mostly trying to talk about his life, his job, his likes and dislikes. Long emails. Much longer than his and mine. The fact he hasn't shared this with me-I saw it in his open email; is worry-some. He has left once. I had a breast lump scare and it was nuts around here. He stayed at his ex's where his 2 girls are. They had long talks about me/us. He did come back, but he lied about talking about me/us. Every now and then something slips out. I have not talked about this with him. Doesn't seem worth it as he did come back. This is my second marriage. I have 3 girls living with us (mine) Would you be worried? I am. Thanks for your input, P.
Read the entire question and 7 answersMy husband has been out of work for appx. 5 years due to back injury at work, and I have been carrying the load (paying all the bills). He was recently approved for SSI Disability, received a check and went out & purchased a 2007 w/o paying any bills in house. He told me to take our son's check to pay bills because this was his check. He also spent $50K on a music room in the garage. This is not fair to me, as he has been wastefully spending throughout the years, but this takes the cake. His family has tried talking to him but he does't want to listen! He is a very selffish man. I am ready to leave him!!!
Read the entire question and 3 answersI was wondering if anyone has been through the marriage visa journey? I am eventually looking into doing this with my boyfriend and I would like to know as much info about it as possible. He lives in England and I would like to know maybe estimation how long it may take. Some say it depends on state....but I am wondering if anyone knows about Texas. If anyone has been through this or knows anything about it please give me as much info about it as possible. If you would like to e mail me just respond to this and ask for my e mail address.
Read the entire question and 6 answershey.. my husband of 8 years has a problem with being in control.. "why are you cooking with that pot?", "you don't want that ice cream, it's fatting", don't do this and don't do that... the way he is, when he is talking out loud (coming up with ideas to do things or the way we are going to do things), it almost becomes law.. there is room for discussion but usually it's his way. (although he thinks it's my way all the time).. i really don't think that he knows that he is this way.. sometimes he talks to me like i am one of the guys-no holding back..i have tried to talk with him about it (especially the way he talks to me) .. it helps for a little while and then goes back to his old ways.. i am not trying to change him... its just that sometimes i feel like he's controlling and it brings me down.. this should be a partnership.. any suggestions?
Read the entire question and 16 answersMy husband has been on the road working for about two months and has only been home for a week for my daughters one year birthday. This is the first time I have had to deal with this and its extremly hard because I'm 5 1/2 months preganant and lonely. I have a four year old and a one year old and they are my only complany. I feel like I need to talk to him more because I don;t see him and he is always busy. He owns his own construction company. I need to know how to deal with not needing him so much, like calling and just dealing with him traveling. I know we have no other choice but I just don't know how to deal with it. Please help.
Read the entire question and 13 answersMy friend�s cry for some support from families who are going through or have gone through what she�s gone through. I am unable to relate to her, so I would like to ask you to offer advice that I can pass on to her due to my family makeup � I am a single mother of a two year old, and she is a married mother of 3. Thank you in advance. �I�ve just had it with my husband; before he broke his leg, he is one of those invisible fathers who are �there� but not really there. Everything is on me and even more now that his leg is broken. House cleaning, bills, car insurance, car payment, rent. It�s just so hard when its one person doing everything especially in a 5 family household. He was doing landscaping for a company, then he got hurt, and was collecting unemployment for a couple of months and when that stopped he was working for himself. Don�t get me wrong, he was making good money, then it started to slow down and now his leg is broken and its Fall; soon the landscaping will be done in a couple of weeks, and I don�t know what he�s going to do. I understand it�s hard for him because he doesn�t read or write English and doesn�t understand a lot of things, which is tough, but still, it�s not fair to me. I hardly ever get out of the house or have anytime just for me, and when I do, it�s mostly on Sundays when he�s out with the kids at soccer games and even then I�m doing house work all day. It�s just getting to me. What do I do?� -Mrs. C., Mother of 3 (two year old, nine year old, and twelve year old), and Wife Anyone else gone through the same sort of situation that you can offer my friend? Thank you very much!
Read the entire question and 4 answersHello! This question isn't really child oriented, but it is a problem that is affecting my entire famiy; kids included. And I really need some advice from people outside of my family... My mother-in-law is very controlling and when she is around, my husband literally jumps when she speaks! He does whatever she says...no matter what!!!! And when she is around, everyone, including our children come last, next comes his church, then his sports programs. And of course, we come last. It has always been like this and frankly, I'm tired of it. I've even went to extremes of moving 2 1/2 hours away from my inlaws, because my husband and I get along great when she isn't around. But I've noticed that she is showing up unannounced AGAIN and everything must be on her terms. Needless to say, it's really getting to the point that I'm ready to take the kids and just leave...or better yet, kick him out of the house. I'm at my wits end. I'd welcome any advice. P.S. I also wanted to inform you of my MIL past behavior. After our first daughter was born, she physically hurt her several times and claimed that she didn't know that what she did would hurt her...like pulling her belly button off before it was ready...or taking her long, manicured nails and scraping cradle cap off of her scalp and causing her bleed then lying about it! Then there was a few times when she tried to kidnap her. Because of the stuff she has done to my 1st daughter and to me, I do not and can not trust her. I have banned her completely from my house several times, and I'm about to do it again...but for good this time. This past X=mas she was a real piece of work. She invited herself to stay out our house for two days. I put my foot down and told her to get a hotel room. She is always and I do mean ALWAYS, trying to control my life. I've told her that I'm not a person to be controlled. We are always knocking heads because she wants things her way and none other, no matter who it affects; negatively or positively.
Read the entire question and 9 answersMe and my boyfriend have been living together for 3 years. I have had numerous discussions with him about equally splitting the bills but that hasn't happened. We were friends for 14 years before we ever started dating. He is the most trustworthy man I have ever been with as far as being faithful is concerned. He is a workaholic but never seems to make time for us anymore. He doesn't want to do anything! I don't know how many get togethers and weddings I've been invited to and have gone by myself or with my girl friends. I spend more time with them than with him because he makes excuses. I understand there are going to be times that you can't always be together (I wouldn't want it like that any way) but he goes overboard. He gets home at about 9:00 p.m.every night. Doesn't show hardly any interest around the house. He has all of the benefits of being married but he has none of the resposibility. I have recently listed all of the household bills and split them equally and gave it to him but he is still not giving me half of the bills. He lives at my house, I wash his clothes and cook for him but his still don't pay half the bills. The amount he pays does not add up to half. When I ask him about it he says he is doing all he can. We do not have any children together. Help! How would you handle this situation?
Read the entire question and 82 answersI feel like I need counseling for my husband and I, but he won't hear of it and he says just talk to me, but I can't talk to him. I feel like he doesn't think I'm worth anything. I feel like he feels I am stupid and incompetent at times. He's never said that, but it's just the way he makes me feel. I stay at home with our 2 kids and he works, but he acts like I don't work near as hard as him and what do I have to be tired about at the end of the day? I hate the way he makes (in his eyes) harmless comments about the laundry not being done or the house not being clean. He acts like I don't do anything all day when really I hardly even sit down, usually I'm eating my lunch at the same time as doing something else. I have no car so, I have no way of getting out. He works usually till after dark. We don't have normal conversations anymore, it's usually always an arguement. I used to be quiet and calm, now I yell and I'm wound so tight I just want to cry from the stress. I don't know what to do. He doesn't spend as much time with the kids as we would like. I don't even feel like I get to spend hardly anytime with my kids either, cause I'm trying so hard to get all the daily chores done, I usually don't have time for them. He's not a bad guy he just doesn't know how to approach things...I need help!
Read the entire question and 36 answersI think my husband has gotten really comfortable with my no longer working andbeing a stay at home mom. We have a baby due at the end of the month and he's getting a second job, but, it urks my nerves when he acts as if he doesn't have to help around the house or still tend to the entertainment of our 4 year old. The less I do , the less it will get done. I dont feel I should have to ask for any assistance and yes, parts of me thinks he should already know and be doing things to help me anyway.. Help, just want some nice advice on how to introduce the subject without risking going into labor and keeping my head clear of worry about a house out of order. LOL
Read the entire question and 20 answersMy husband is wonderful! In the past couple of years though, I have taken on more responsibilities and he has less... cleaning, budget, checkbooks, childcare, house work, etc. I keep doing more because he is doing less... or is he doing less because I'm doing more? This morning I got myself and my son already for school, did some cleaning, loaded the car, packed lunches, etc all while he watched tv. Then we said bye and left. He called me later and said he was sorry for not helping... but he also said he felt like I was a single mom who could get everything done just fine without him. That broke my heart because thats not what I'm trying to do. I want him to help, I want him to be a strong daddy and husband. Do I back off more and expect him to pick up the slack? How do I let things go "undone" and hope that he will do them? How do I make him feel needed, without nagging him to do things?
Read the entire question and 21 answersRecently my husband left me to move back to NY (which is where he is from). I have basically been raising four kids (if you know what I mean) for the past three years. Now that he's gone, it hurts. I feel bad for my children because I am not sure when the next time they will see their dad will be. I am kind of glad that he is gone because now there will be no more fighting in front of the kids, etc. The bad thing about this whole thing is that he left without saying good-bye to me (should I care at this point?), or without leaving me any money for the kids. He got his tax return and left! Four days after he left he finally decides to call to "check on the kids". I didn't answer his first 10 attempts! I finally p/u the phone, because the kids were outside playing so he was not able to speak to them. He told me that he would call back at 7pm but never did. What should I do at this point? That was yesterday, and he called again today but I didn't p/u the phone. My youngest is asking for him. Any advice?
Read the entire question and 6 answersI know this may sound like something that should not be on here but there is a category for it and I am completely distraught! I recently kicked my boyfriend out and feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. I love him with all my heart as do my children. It was a selfish move and now I regret it 100%. I would like a little advice if any on how to get him back. I appreciate any advice! Please help me with this.
Read the entire question and 7 answersI find my husband calling our daughter names a lot. He rarely uses her given name. I feel it is wrong and is can be hurtful to her. I ask him not to do it, but it continues. He says he does not mean it in a hurtful way. She is only 10 months old. I hear the names: tank, cry baby, big baby, wimp, etc. Has anyone else overcome this situation?
Read the entire question and 14 answersI am married to a man who has been coddled his entire life. For the most part, he has been a sensitive, caring man. But lately it has become more frequent that we don't see that man anymore. He spends long days (and nights) at work and when he gets home he just sits on the couch. He doesn't play with the kids and he's in a bad mood whenever he's home. Then he takes his bad moods out on me. He criticizes my parenting, even though he never sees it and he is completely incapable of watching our children by himself for more than a couple of hours so I usually have to arrange to go to the laundromat during their naptime so he doesn't freak out. He has gained weight and blames me for it. He says he can't do the Atkins diet unless I make him all his meals. When he goes to work and eats fast food, he blames me for not making his lunches for him. When he doesn't go to the gym, he says it is because I didn't wake him up. Then when I DO wake him up, he complains about how tired he is and goes back to sleep. My husband has genius-level IQ and his mother has enabled him his whole life because of it. For instance, she has been telling him his entire life that he has an addictive personality and that is why he can't quit smoking (which I did for my health and for our children). First, he has no traits a person with an addictive personality has. NOT ONE. Second, he will smoke right in front of me, knowing that I quit and I still want a cigarette every day. I tell him he is selfish and thoughtless and he'll apologize and say he can't help it. He says he wants to quit but he just can't (because he has an addictive personality). I had forgotten about a pretty serious incident until I read it in my journal again. He had fallen asleep at the wheel while he was driving us all home one evening. It is usually my responsibility to keep him awake when he is tired and we were just around the corner from the apartment or else I would have insisted on taking over. I had been chatting to keep him awake and he wasn't really keeping up with the conversation. Then he started to veer off the road and I yelled at him to wake up. The first thing he said was how could I let that happen? Last week, he was in one of his normal morning bad moods and told me our apartment was a "dumpster". So I spent the entire day cleaning it instead of studying for the exam I had that week. He was surprised that it was clean but then he just found something else to complain about. Honestly, I'm so close to leaving I just want to scream. I don't WANT to get a divorce. But I can't make this man understand how much he is hurting us. And don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not a doormat. In fact, my husband claims I have feminist tendencies and that is why I'm so resistant to doing the things he asks. But I've compromised enough for our marriage. It's time for him to start. How do I make him understand that?
Read the entire question and 15 answersI'm a single mom of 1 child she's 6.I've been with her father for about 9 years. Here recently he has been calling me names& if i don't do something he wants me to do they names get worse. I tried telling him that it bothers me but he doesn't stop. I'm to the point that I'm ready to call it quits.but it's hard because we have been together so long, i recently bought a house and i can't afford every thing on my own. if anyone can relate or has any good advise please write back
Read the entire question and 8 answersNot to sound so down and depressed, but I could really use some help here. My husband and I got together, got pregnant then got married. I don't really consider my child the mistake rather a blessing, but maybe getting married was. Recently my husband has landed a job working in the oil field. He lost his job working with his dad about 8 months ago and 4 months later is when he got this job. Well he was supposed to get a job working two weeks on and two weeks off, so we wouldn't have to move anywhere. Well that job apparently has fallen thru. He called me today to tell me that he is permanently moving to Louisiana, looking for a house as we speak, wants to know if I can move into a smaller apartment so we won't have two expensive rents each month??? I at a loss, are we technically separated? Since he's been gone for 3 months now, we have received around $1500 from him. I work full time to catch us up on the bills and his mother pays for daycare. I don't want to be naive, but I do want to know my options and what is going on here. Any advice whether negative or positive is much appreciated. Thanx, L.
Read the entire question and 5 answersi have been dating this man for almost 3 years. i am bipolar and have trouble with it from time to time. he says he understands but he doesnt. when i get depressed he makes me feel bad by sating stuff like im ignoring him and i take him for granted. he just makes things worse on me instead of being understanding and supportive. and i think he has commitment issues.anytime i mention marriage or even just getting engaged he always says its not the right time. i am almost 39 and i want to be married and us be a real family. i dont know what to do about of all of this. it is causing me to have some resentment towards him. i love him so much and dont want to give up but what do i do? if you have any suggestions please let me know!! theres alot more i could tell but i dont want to write a book . lol but help if you can!! thanks
Read the entire question and 10 answersI am a single mom who thought I found Mr. Right, we have been dating for 4 1/2 years and had some rough times about 6 months into the relationship but resolved them and I thought everything was great, we have lived together for over a year now and everything was so wonderful, better than I expected, I thought being single for so long, we'd be to set in our ways and it would cause a problem, but it didnt, at least I didnt think so, He does his thing, I do mine, we accept each others differences and dont try to change each other, I really believe we are in love, real love, I know I'm boobing but I have nobody to get a clear head with right now and I have an 11 year old son who is madly inlove with my b-friend, He's 40 and never had kids, My son is 11 and never had a dad, and I just dont want to do anything irrational that will throw my son in the middle of something that may not even be happening, Yesterday everything was great, I went and hung out with some friends while my b-frnd went on a harley ride with his friends, we come home, and he was moody, I am sick and moody, he snaped at my son for making noise while he was watching tv, I blew it off, respected his mood and continued to put groceries away, he then went down stairs to put something away and noticed I had'nt put all the halloween decor away yet and started complaining about that, I tried to ignore it but lost it because I've been sick with this nasty flu going around,I yelled at him in defence of my efforts to cook, clean, I threw a HUGE halloween party last weekend while sick and cleaned all that up, I felt un appreciated and not trusted to finish the job, It lasted less than 30 seconds and he decided I need to move out. Just like that, at first I thought he was just mad and lashing back, but hrs later, he came to me and said he's done. I dont know how to believe him and If it was just me, maybe I'd pull out every sick solution I could think of to get-back-at-him, but I love him and dont want to leave, and I dont want to tell my son anything if its just a phase, I feel crazy and dont know how to even go home tonight. Has anyone been here? I know there's many ways I could have handeled this, and to me I was actually suprised that he commented that this is twice we have faught, 2 times, to me thats all in 4 1/2 years, to him it's like 2 strikes and your out, How do I leave? How do I stay? What do I do with my son? He was just saying about a month ago to the both of us how he doesnt want us to ever break up, We even talk about getting married? Is it truely not normal for couples to fight once in a while? Sorry to lay this on everyone, I'm just so lost and confused and dont know where else to turn right now.
Read the entire question and 14 answersHi I was hoping that maybe someone would have some advice with my very difficult yet conflicting situation. I just got married to a great guy who took me and my 7yr old daughter in. However, my 7yr old does not behave well with him, she talks back and acts up. I think because she resents him that he is not her daddy. I do try to discipline her to the best of my knowledge, she is a good kid overall and listens well with others, except him. It is starting to get to a point that this conflict is starting to ruin our marriage already. We are constantly fighting over this and do not meet eye to eye on how I discipline her. We are about to have another baby and he constantly says I will not allow my daughter to act this way and it hurts my feelings that he feels I do not do a good job as a mother. How can I stop her from talking back to him? I put her in timeout but it just seems to come so naturally to her to talk to him this way. How can I stop this bad habit of hers? I love him and her and want to lead a happy healthy family.
Read the entire question and 13 answersHello to all your wonderful moms out there! My husband is going to Nicaragua for 13 days as of tonight (Thursday). His aunt is very ill and needs to go be by her side. We have a 20 month old son and this is going to be the first time he is away from us. I am sooo saddened and feel very lonely. I don't know how my son will react to not seeing his dad for 13 days and I just want the 13 days to go as fast as possible. Is there any one out there who has experienced something similar and has encouraging words for me? I love him dearly and just want him to come home safely/quickly. One other thing, there is a slight possibility that I could be pregnant. I have been very tired and lethargic lately. I don't know if all the crying is because I am naturally a very emotional person or could be pregnant. I just want my hubby home.
Read the entire question and 6 answersI am a 39 year old mother with three children prior to marriage of 4 years. My husband stated that I do too much for my childeren and he is jealous of the children, and there is no us time. My husband is 38 years old working a part-time jobs off and on since we have been married. Very educated, and intelligent man, but he somewhat a reserved man and having a hard time finding a job. He is also a pastor and a lot of time its ministry 24/7. I do have boys one in college and two @ home. I am the only driver in the home due to my husband liscense., so @ times all I want is to go home and rest. I don't know if I can stop being a mother like he wants.
Read the entire question and 36 answersI need help. Lately me and my husband have been having financial problems and I came up with the idea of moving in with my mom and dad for a few months until we get back on our feet. My husband was fine with the idea until my mom said that we couldn't bring our dog. I know dogs are important but I was trying to find him a temporary home until we found a place of our own again and so last night I stayed at my mom's. I'm very upset about this and don't want to lose him. We also have a 3 year old daughter. I just feel that he is putting the dog in front of me and my daughter. Please advise.
Read the entire question and 6 answersMe and my fiance have been together for 3 /2 years. He has the worst ex-wife I have ever known of. Lately she has been calling him trying her best to break us up and finally it has worked. She has been telling lies and for some reason he believes her. I finally I guess she won because I gave up. My question to all of you is how do I get over this? I really love him and I have tried to talk to him about all this and he says he knows she is a trouble maker but then a week later it starts all over again. I couldn't deal with all the drama anymore so I quit. I am heart broken but I feel releaved in a way because I don't have to deal with all that anymore, my question is how do I get over the heart ache and move on?
Read the entire question and 23 answersI would like help with my stubborn, selfish husband. I am a mother of 3 children ages 18,14,12 and have acquired 3 step children ages 10,8,7. The problem that I am having is that my spouse it seems doesn't know how to deal with two households. I feel like I am not supposed to have any fun or be happy in our household because my stepchildren's mother lives in the ghetto of Houston, didn't have a ride until last summer, and has been milking the welfare system. That is not my lifestyle. I have always had my own place, ride, and been in a stable career for 15 years. When we first starting getting the children, they looked like they were homeless. My husband is an over the road truck driver and has always sent money and clothes for the children ( one of which is not his biological). Don't know what happens to the clothes or the money. Anyhoo, I kept his son, age 6, for a year and a half because the mom says that she could not do anything with him. That was fine and dandy. All of a sudden, his taxes get intercepted because she had filed child support on him. Because he is a good hearted person, taking care of her child that is not his, and even keeping her with medical insurance, he did not contest the arrearage because he said his kids needed the money. I was furious. So, long story short he has figured out no matter how much money you put into a bottomless pit nothing will ever become of it. She is doing better now after 2.5 years into this saga or so I thought. This woman is a compulsive liar. From saying she is getting her masters degree, which she doesn't have any type of degree to buying clothes and shoes that we never see. I have learned not to have any expectations from her and my life has been less stressful. My problem is my husband job closed down and filed for bankruptcy without any prior notice in August, we had all his children from September to November while he was trying to find a local job. Unfortunately, he had to go back over the road and i was left to take care of 5 kids by myself. I don't know what kind of mother would send her kids over knowing the dad had lost his job, she sent a big bag of sleeping shirts and no clothes that they could wear to school. I got out and went picked them up a few things to tie us over until we could see better. Do you think the moma cared? On top of this, I found out that I was pregnant. I couldn't take it anymore, trying to provide for myself plus 5. I sent the kids back home to their mother after Thanksgiving. We separated for a month because he said that i didn't care about his kids nor did i love them. Anyhoo, we talked about the situation and everything was okay until I took my kids to the movies on Thursday and to the mall on Saturday for them to spend their xmas money. So now it looks like I had all this planned from day one. This is crazy. I am spending my money not his. I have a full-time and prn job that I can call for extra money. What do or am I supposed to do about these accusations? I also get accused of disappearing if he can't reach me even if I am at the Wal-Mart. These insecurities of his are driving me nuts. What do i do?
Read the entire question and 5 answersI am having an issue with my husband, we are fighting constantly and I am fed up at this point. I have asked him to leave, but he wont. I am tired of fighting everyday, and he wont go see a counselor because he feels like all our problems are my fault. Last night for the first time be called me a Bi*ch, and I was up all night crying. It has gotten so bad that I sleep on the floor in the living room because I dont want to be near him. He yells at me in front of our daughter and tells me that I am a bad mother and if I leave him I will be alone for the rest of my life because no man will ever want to be with me. I think that is one of the reasons I stay because I am afraid that no one will ever want me, and the main reason is because I want my children to be with ME. And, if we get a divorce then I have no way to support myself, my daughter, and a new baby. I am afraid to leave but I am afraid to stay. I need some advice ..... because I am not sure how much more I can handle. I want to thank all of you who have given advice to me. The past couple days we have not been fighting. It is nice to not have yelling, but there isnt any talking either. He comes home and takes care of our daughter, and then when she goes to bed he gets on his computer until he goes to bed. I have been taking in all of what you ladies have told me, but again this is very hard for me because my parents got divorced and it crushed me, but then again their fighting crushed me too. I know in the end if I need to leave him I will, it is just scary for me because I am pregnant with no family in the area. I know for some of you there is this question ... Why did she get pregnant again? Well we were doing good there for about 2 weeks, and it only takes one time to make a baby.... that is exactly what happened. I did want another baby, and I am glad that it happened. It is hard for me to explain, and I would sound weird even trying to explain it, but I feel like this baby came at the right time for me, not for my husband and I but for me!
Read the entire question and 9 answersplease help me. It seems that i become very, and i mean very angry or jelous i guess when my husband does things better, or when he does something that our 2 year old responds to better. for example, my 2 year old wakes up from his nap, and it's a short one and is very cranky, he doesn't know what he wants and just cries and cries. I keep asking him what's wrong, what do you want ...etc. but he just says no to everything. I choose to just try to ignore him because it seems the more i talk to him the more he cries. my husband who is gone most of the time comes and does what i did, asking him what's wrong and everything, then when our child doesn't respond he just picks him up causing him to cry even more, and then he just stops crying for some reason. Why is this? am i a bad mother? i spend all day everyday with my son, i'm an at home mom, what am i doing wrong? and why do i feel like such a bad parent when my husband seems to get through to our son more than i do? i feel like my child doesn't like me, he likes his father more, and is sick of being with me all day everyday! am i in the wrong? PLEASE HELP, i don't know what's wrong?
Read the entire question and 8 answersok i dont know what to do ...i have been married 5 1/2 yrs have 1 child 13 months old...have had a good marriage all along...we get along fine but i have a problem...my husband is lazy, he leaves dirty dishes in sink i wash the cloths he helps at times i do dishes grocery shopping dr visits for baby all house work...well he will vaccuum and clean occasionally, he does let me sleep in about 3 times a week he keeps the baby but anything i need him to do like trash or his chores i have to remind him over and over, almsot any care he gives to his daughter i have to ask him to, its always plz bath the baby so i can clean up after i cook, he is not wild does not go out with the boys but loves video games he gets involved and forget about everything else, dont get me wrong except for the fact that i am exhausted all the time and look foward to going to work for a break , its fine. I have sat down several times several different occasions and spoke with him about these things. he is the worst about passafying me he will clean whole house in one day after our talk and not lift a finger for a month. i have to say he is trying he vaccuum without being tolod once a week and picks up some and like i said he lets me sleep in 3 times a week but im am so frustrated and tired. worst part is i think im kinda an inabler, he is the biggest procrastinator and i hear all the time .. ill do it in a little while....if he tries to helps cleans soem does some i am the worst about saying oo ok he is trying... i work 2 days a week 12 hr shifts...i transport the baby to and from sitters at 6am ect.....(he works nights so that cannot be helped) anyway i want to say its not all his fault i feel like he does try , but why am i working one day less then him and doing 10x more the work....is this what moms r suposed to do and how do you mkeep your sanity thats really my question... how do i balance the house work , child and my sanity???? any suggestions would be great....i am madly inlove with my husband and am not ready to throw him away i just dont knwo what to do .. im to the point im ready to leave abby with him and go out of town for a couple days and see what happens .....
Read the entire question and 20 answersMy husband and I both have full-time jobs and are parents to a set of precocious identical twin boys, age 26 months. Needless to say we are both stressed and exhausted most of the time, and we had an argument before leaving the house this morning. I want to do something romantic this evening after we put the kids to bed....maybe a movie and some wine? Any ideas would greatly be appreciated.
Read the entire question and 5 answersMy husband and I have been together for ten years, we have three children including eight months old. He works out of the house and has his own internet business. My issue is he is always busy and barely has time to spend quality time with me or the children. He has a hard time letting go and taking off a few days as he is always worried he says about taking care of us and making sure he brings in the "bacon". The boys are getting older and are feeling rejected as a result and I am left to do most of the family activities with the kids myself on weekends. He gets defensive when I request that he stop working for a whole weekend and says he must do it to keep paying our bills/expenses. I'm about to call it quits I'm so frustrated.
Read the entire question and 12 answersI feel very alone in this topic...I am having doubts about my marriage...not b/c I don't love him but b/c I am lacking his affection. Even though I've told him this, it seems like he just doesn't care. To make matter worse, he drank to much one night and said that he didn't like my oldest child (I have 2 older boys that are his stepchildren). Ever since that, it hurt me so bad to the point of just calling it quits...my kids come first. He apologized but I am wanted to legally separate just to give us time to think of what we really want. What can I do? Should I give up or fight for the marriage to work. He insists he loves all of us equally but I do not feel that he does.
Read the entire question and 11 answersI am a single mother of two children. My son is 11 years old and my daughter is 9 years old. I have been divorced since 2002. I was in a relationship for 4 & 1/2 years after I separated and then divorced my ex husband. That relationship didn't last. I decided to join eharmony,a dating service for people who are looking for a serious relationship. I met a guy about a year ago. He was so nice and he seemed like exactly the guy I've been looking for. In the beginning,he would call me two or three times a day. I saw him every weekend. But,once I started showing more serious interest in him,he starting making excuses about why we couldn't be in a serious relationship. I ended up getting hurt because eventually he said he didn't want a relationship with someone who has kids. I really have strong feelings for him and he has told me that he 'cares about me as a friend.' Recently he started seeing another girl,but that didn't last long. Now we still talk on the phone or email. I really miss seeing him. I just don't know what to do. I've tried going out with other guys,but I only think about him.
Read the entire question and 9 answersLately, I have noticed that I go to work and come home, and treat every day like a burden....I am starting to take for granted, all of the questions that my son asks me, and totally shutting off from my (very supportive) husband...I have started to see alot of my mother's parenting techniques coming into my own processes...I don't like it at all, and I am not sure how to change it....I have been attending a women's "recovery" group and reading a book called "Changing Course", but I feel like nothing is changing....I am learning some new stuff, but I need to understand how to apply it to make the changes!!! Any advice or am I just rambling?
Read the entire question and 24 answersI've been married for 13 years and i do love my husband,we have had some bad times when we first married,and the both of us did things we shouldn't have done,it took about 3 years for my husband to grow up and realize that he had a wife and child, while he was doing his thing i was too and ended up seeing someone i new from high school,it started out as just friends reconnecting and ended up going too far,well i ended it,couldn't take the pressure and it was just not right i was married with a child,so the years went buy and i never thought of him up until 3 years ago until now and it's been about 11 years,i just found out he's been married for about 7 years,it really made me sad i don't no why i just can't stop thinking of him,this all started after i had my 2nd child and I'm not happy with my marriage,mothers day just really gave me something to think about,I'm so confused,can someone give me some advice on why i can't stop thinking of this person? i hope no one thinks that I'm? a bad person now
Read the entire question and 13 answersMy husband and I have been through a whole lot this past year physically and emotionally. He left the military we bought two cars a house had another baby have had money problems he's had two jobs, I went for two months without a paycheck. Lets just say we have both made hurtful decisions as well. I really want to make this next stretch better. Anyone have any ideas and tip on how to make my husband feel like he's my number one and that I'm serious about fixing our marriage. We have both done some hurtful things to eachother and I have already started trying to mend those. But I am ready to make our marriage wonderful. I know it won't happen in a day but I want to get on the right track. Please help. Thanks...
Read the entire question and 6 answersMy husband and I are hitting a rough patch but both really want to save our marriage. Can anyone recommend a good marriage counselor in the Arlington/Mansfield area? Also while I am not against the idea my husband refuses to go to a religious leader so it needs to be someone outside the church. Thanks you ladies always have the best info.
Read the entire question and 9 answersadvice... what do you do when your husband feels a bit jealous of the new little man in your life? he is great with our son but i think he feels like i love Luke more then him...maybe my actions say that ...?
Read the entire question and 11 answersWe were both full-time single parents before we got married, so I thought we'd both stand to gain so much from merging our households, but I find I'm busier than ever - 3 kids now instead of one, a husband; that's 5 mouths and 5 laundry-producers, not to mention sports and school activities non-stop. I still work and now I commute 2 hours a day, so I have even less time. I love my life here, I love his kids, my daughter is doing so well and the kids get along well, my husband makes me laugh more than anyone ever has, but I am getting fried from so much responsibility when I thought I'd have more time. I have so much less time for me! I never ride my bike or spend any quality time outside (unless it's at the edge of the soccer or football field) - and I often hit the grocery store while they're at practice, or run some other errand that needs doing (they're endless!). I'm getting more firm with having everyone pitch in, but I don't want the kids "working" all the time either - they should be having some fun at 8, 9, and 10 years of age. My husband works 10 hour days but his commute is 5 minutes, so we're basically working the same amount of hours a week including my drive-time. I naturally take on the laundry/cleaning/groceries/budget but I'm having trouble getting everyone to pitch in without a lot of griping (hubby included). I ask for the table to be set and cleared, dishes rinsed and into the dishwasher. THe kids and my husband take the dirty clothes downstairs when asked. I wash/dry and bring them up and ask for them to help fold and put away. I'm not sure what else I can do to help share the chores! What's the trick to not getting mad but keeping it firm and making sure things get done? When I was a kid we always cleaned the house Saturday mornings, but now we have soccer and football games on Sat. mornings (for 2 more weeks only but still - it seems like there's always something). I'd really like to not be going non-stop even after I get home from work - I'm wearing myself out and besides I don't think it's a good example to especially the girls to work yourself to the bone all the time.
Read the entire question and 23 answersI have a husband who I love and who loves our daughter, but he doesn't help out with feeding, bathing or bedtime. He's just the cool dad right now who plays with her when he wants to and hands her off to me when he has had enough. Is this normal for other moms out there? I have asked him to help give our daughter baths, but he says he gets too nervous doing it which is surprising considering that he was the Captain of his former fire department for over 10 years. Even when I have a GNO he won't give her a bath and sometimes he waits for me to get home to put her down for the night. He works really hard and I understand he does, but I just don't think he understands what parenting really entails sometimes. Does anyone have any advice?
Read the entire question and 27 answersMy husband likes to throw around the "well that's your job" thing when referring to me being a stay at home mom. He fully supports us and it is wonderful being able to be with my babies all the time, and I do not have to work, but i am so sick of hearing it if I ask him to help me out for a second with the babies. He likes to say "what do you contribute" and of course he knows I take care of my kids 24/7, and he of course doesn't see that it is hard (we are talking 2 BABIES here!) and I think he just says that sometimes to get under my skin - I'm no pushover - I tell him that I am the only parent sometimes and he really gets upset.. point is there is no happy medium here.. We both worked hard when we were younger, got married, became successful and now I can take a "break" to raise our family.. I'm not putting my kids with a sitter to go to work when I dont' have to - I opened a business where I could have my kids with me, but it was too much to handle and I let it go. He makes sure to remind me that my "business" was a waste and a loser - even though I benefitted GREATLY from it socially and emotionally - I was not in it for monetary reasons. Who knows, - poor me,right? I don't have to work, can spend all my time with my kids and I'm upset that my husband doesn't appreciate me - Some of these poor girls that are on these message boards can barely get by and need sitters and are going through divorces, and I am worried about being independant again.. All I want to do is spend time with my kids without feeling guilty about it every day. My husband wants to have the upper hand, and does, but only because I choose not to be independant. He knows I'm strong which is why I think, he thinks. he has to knock me down occasionally to keep me in check. Anyone out there with any advice? I would guess probably not, but you never know. Best wishes.
Read the entire question and 19 answersOk, here it goes. Yesterday I went to a scrapbooking party and got home at about 4. My husband kept the kids, and the house was totaled (which was fine) on my home I called him to tell him I was coming home. He said when i get there, he needs to go get bills out to people which was fine. As soon as I got off the phone with him, my friend that I was with all day called and asked if we wanted to come back down for a BBQ. I said sure, but I wanted to check with my husband. When I called him and asked him if he wanted to go he blew up at me and said he had stuff to do. (ok yeah my fault for not remembering :) so when I got home I said thats fine I would just take the kids and go. And then he gets really mad and tells me that he wanted to eat supper and spend the evening with us!?!? He was going to try to be home in time for supper he said. (wasn't going to happen. So in the end he goes down there does nothing but be a jerk to me before and after. But while we're there he's as nice as can be to our friends. But doesn't say 2 words to me. What do you guys think? Should I have just stayed home? Was I in the wrong for wanting to go?
Read the entire question and 12 answersSo my fiancee left... I don't know how to deal with it, and I'm all by myself. Between chores, the baby, the now empty house... How do you get through it all? How do women do it by themselves, especially when they have had somebody there up until now? I don't really know what I'm looking for. Maybe I just need to know that other women have gotten through it. That somebody has duggen themselves out of a pit of despair, and made it through. Maybe I'm just looking for SOMEBODY, somebody that can understand, somebody that can show me I'm not as alone as I feel.
Read the entire question and 10 answersHi Ladies, Does anyone know of a site similar to Mamasource but for dads? I think it would be great for my husband to be able to ask questions and get feedback from other dads. Thanks so much :) S.
Read the entire question and 6 answersDoes anyone else feel like their husband over steps them in EVERYTHING that has to do with parenting? My husband is a VERY INVOLVED father and he does a lot around the house but I feel like he is always battling my decisions or parenting style and I feel like he is taking away from role as mother. We both work full time and have long days, my 19 month old son is in daycare 3 days a week and with the grandparents the other - theres a lot going on and theres no real difference in our responsibilities except I am the one to always give a bath and most of the time the only one to take him to school - so I feel like there is so much crossover in responsibility - I appreciate all he does but sometimes I just wish he'd GET OUT OF MY WAY and let me do my job! I also worry that his constant overstepping of me is setting a poor example for my son who seems to NEVER listen to me and who gives me a hard time whenever I have to make him do something like get dressed - yet he's an angel for my husband for everything. I know they give their mothers the hardest time but I'm wondering if he is just learning a lack of respect like his father seems to be showing (I feel he's not respectful to me all the time) We've tried talking but we are both very head strong and it usually winds up in a fight. I'll also throw in there that my husband and his mother are very close but I honestly feel like he is disrespectful to her in many ways too. He is a control freak. I love him to peices though really, he is a great person and a great father this is just one little bump in the road but its ANNOYING ME to no end today - its not all bad but being a very independent woman who is a closet control freak on important things hersel , I am having a difficult time dealing with this. I just want to be able to let his annoyances roll off my back but I get all fired up.
Read the entire question and 10 answersLooking for any one who does pleasure parties or somrthing smimilar. Im not looking for anthing overboard or hard core just simple powders and lotions and maybe a few other things.
Read the entire question and 6 answers
Hello,
I have been a stay at home mom for about 2 months now. It's been a real challenge because I really like to work for the social aspect of it all. Also I was at the company for 10 years so that was a tough decision. I kept going back and forth to work or not to. When at work I wanted to be with my kids and not at work wanted to be there (sometimes.) I haven't got into a routine and I heard that is what really works for other moms. Every time I try to get something done I am always intrupted or I just don't feel like doing anything. I went on super nanny website for a possible routine for my family, but I get into it and the kids are all over me or something is going on. How does one even get a routine started? I also wanted to ask other stay at home moms when your husband/boyfriend gets home from work what do they usually do when they get home? My husband likes to relax a bit before he does anything so that means lately he watches TV. On the commercials he will talk with us sometimes interact with the kids. Somedays he will get home and go right to do the lawn work or a project that he needs to fix.
Hi everyone, I know that yall can be kind of harsh, I have been so myself from time to time but please try to take it a little easy on me. Ok I have known my boyfriend for about a year and a half and we have been dating for about 7 months. We dated when we first met but he didnt want to deal with the drama that can come from an insta-family situation so we broke up. We however stayed very good friends and that obviously worked out well. Well we found out that I was pregnant on thanksgiving and he is thrilled. I mean this man has taken to the family life like he was made for it. I do however have a problem. When we first started talking about marriage I said I didnt want to be big fat and pregnant on my wedding day and so I have been living in his house and I cant work more than 2-3 hours a day because of restrictions, in short I am completely depended on him. Now my problem is I dont like being unmarried and pregnant again. With my first daughter the situation was very different for many reason, but mainly I hadnt come to faith and now that I have the double burden of knowing what God has to say about it and what I feel is right is weighing on me. How do I take my foot out of my mouth? When he talks to his friends he calls me his fiancée and he sometimes calls me his wife to my face but he still hasnt "asked me" to marry him. There is no ring on my finger and though I know that thats how he thinks and is committed I still want to be married before the baby is born. Any advise as to how I start to bring this up and what I should say?
Read the entire question and 12 answersHi I have been with my fiance for a little over two years now. I have a 2 yr old son from a previous relationship but he has been sround my son since he was 4 months old. When my son turned 1 and started talking we had a talk about what we should have the baby call him. It was a sort of lets talk about the best thing to do now and what we wanted in the future for our relationship. So for the past year since my son could speak he has called him dad, and he is all my son knows for any type of father figure. A couple of days ago we were out shopping and we ran into one of his "friends" from high school. He couldnt even remember her name, thats how much of a friend she was. After they said their hello's he introduced me and my son and of course she asked is this your son? He responded, No hes not, Defientally not. She then said oh really cuz he looks just like you. Then he said well hes pretty much mine thats why. So it kinda urked me inside, enough to where I cant let it go. I casuallly brought it up to him and he said he didnt know what happened he was just caught off guard when someone asked because all of his close friends and his family know how he think and feels about the situation. I let it go at that with him but obviously it has bothered me a little more. What are your thoughts on the situation? Am I just over reacting and its not that big of a deal because the people that matter to him know the truth?
Read the entire question and 13 answersMy daughter was about 6 weeks old when I began dating my current boyfriend. He has 2 children of his own, both boys ages 5 and 12. We have a wonderful relationship and I care a great deal about his boys. My daughter is now 6 months old. My problem is I feel like we are rushing into this relationship for the sake of the children. He already calls himself "Daddy" where my daughter is concnerned, me "mommy" for his boys and his boys call themselves "Big Brothers". I'm really nervous about this because it will cause a huge amount of stress on the children if we ever break-up, and I"m starting to see that we are not meant to be together forever. How do I approach my boyfriend and be honest with him without making him feel like we are breaking up, and without totally crushing him with this news because I got caught up in the excitment of a new relationship?
Read the entire question and 6 answersI am a 20 year old single mother of an 11 month old son. For a while now i have been in a really good relationship with a wonderful guy who treats my son like he is his own and my son absolutly loves him. But recently some thigs have happened that kind of make me think that things are not going to last forever between me and him. Im really worried about my son, I thik he will take it really hard if my boyfriend was not around anymore. He has been the only "father" he has known. Any advice on what to do?
Read the entire question and 15 answersI live with my significant other and his mum who is helping us with our son. His mum is living with us temporarily. I met him a little over 2 yrs and got pregnant 6mnths into the relationship, he cheated on me and i caught him, of which he denied and asked for my forgineness, on several occassions after that, i found emails that were a little too friendly from ladies he claimed his friends and when i called them they lashed at me and called me the stupid ones, he moved to another stated 1month before our child was born but came for his birth. He got upset with me for being tired and failing to answer his calls in the months following the birth of our child and would fail to contact me for like a month. He convinced me that it would be best if I move over to where he lived, which i did after a while it was agreed that his mum would do as good by coming to help us with our child. Little did we expect what happened. When she came she mistreated me and would do things to upset me irespective of my child. She has told my friends and anyone we introduce her to behind my back how evil I i'm he son would put her off until recently when he accused me of being the problem. When I told him i was going to live as i could not take it anymore, he apologized and saying that he was just stressed out and did not mean to lash out at me. Now he is pushing me into getting married, saying that we should go ahead and start making plans. The truth is, I don't think so but I'm afraid to tell him as he has a temper too and just accuses me of using him. There is a lot to say but this is just a brief summary to kind of show you my situation. Please help with advice, counselling. If you know of any counselling place that is inexpensive too, let me know please. Thank you.
Read the entire question and 11 answersI have been married for almost 2 years. We have a 1 year old daughter now that was conceived on our wedding night. So our married years have been a lot of focus on her. I would like to romance my husband again. Looking for ideas.
Read the entire question and 8 answersHi im 8 months pregnant and i have a 3yr old son and me and my soon to be husband just moved to laramie wy 2 months ago and ever since we moved its been really hard. I dont have a job and all my son wants to do is climb all over me and thats not ok with me it drives me crazy.anyways what im trying to say is my soon to be husband is always at work work 12 sometimes 14 hr days at work. I think im going into a depression and thats the last thing i need right now. does anyone have any suggestions?
Read the entire question and 8 answersHi Ladies, Over my life as with everyone else I have had to deal with rude behavior. But when it happens with your family it seems to make it worse. Over the last few days my MIL has been incredibly rude. And everyone is telling me to not take it personally. How can I not??? I HATE confrontation but i'm sick of people thinking they can just say & do whatever they want without recourse! How do you deal with rude behavior?
Read the entire question and 15 answersI have two great friends getting married in a couple of weeks. I'm trying to think of the perfect words of wisdom to wish them well. I always seem to struggle finding the right words. Any help would be great! TIA
Read the entire question and 4 answersHas anyone heard of a husband with a beautiful, fun-loving wife and two gorgeous children having a cell phone (which is for both work and personal calls) that has a code programmed into it so that only HE can answer it. His wife has no idea what the code is and when it rings at midnight and he chooses not to answer it he just blows her off with "oh, it's -----" (name of his best friend). There is no way she can scroll through the calls and see if it is true and the bills go only to his office! There's no chance of looking at the paper trail. Does anyone know of a husband (or wife) who has a code on their cell phone that they wouldn't share with their spouse.... who claims to be madly in love with their spouse....?
Read the entire question and 8 answershow do i get my other half more involved in the daily tasks of caring for our daughter? i feel i pushed him away to much in the begining, now he wont help at all! i feel its partically my fault, but im getting burnt out. when i bring it up he always gets so defensive. its staring to strain on our relationship. help!
Read the entire question and 6 answersHelp! Our marriage is on the rocks. Would like to see a christian counselor. Any recomendations that is outside of church?
Read the entire question and 5 answersThe new year started off great, I was married to a great husband who I love with all my heart. I have a son whois everything too me, and I had a great job. Then two months ago everything changed and the bad part is it was the last thing I thought would happen. I lost my job and still can't find work, then last week my husband told me he does not have feelings for me anymore and does not know if we can work on it this time. He gave us 3 months to see what happens and if nothing chages he is ending it. I might be able to make it through this a bit easier but I have no friends and being a mother doesn't allow me the time to go out and meet people. I would just love to find another mother that has been through something like this before that is willing to help me and be a friend. Cause right now I feel so alone in the world and I would love to have someone to talk to. please is there anyone out there willing to help.
Read the entire question and 7 answersAll, I just stopped in half price books with no luck. Do any of you have the book Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud & Townsend that you might sell to me or loan to me. I promise to take good care of it if it's a loan. Also, if anyone has read it, did it help and in what ways?
Read the entire question and 7 answersMy mom always said don't have a child unless you plan to raise it by yourself. OK I understand her meaning. My husband is very old fashioned. Believes his role is the bread winner and mine is to raise our kids. He's pretty hands off. But there are times when he decides to interject his opinion and its usually at bed time. Right when I'm trying to get our daughter to go to sleep and his suddenly becomes an opinionated perfect parent and tells me I'm doing it all wrong. Example, I had major post pardum depression. I'm still on the anti depressants and probably will be for a while. Our bedroom is on the third floor and I have just not been able to leave out little one alone on a different floor. God forbid there was a fire or something. So I sleep in her room. Not her bed! I was putting her to bed tonight and was frustrated she was not going to sleep so I said, night night, and left the room. Well the super hero daddy says, "oh you go count to 10 and I'll take over." hahaha he's NEVER put her to bed! I'm not exagerating. So he plays with her, laughs with her and then comes back to the living room and says, "now the trick is for you to just let her be." What ever! She's 2 1/2 and totally understands me when I say, "I'll be back." So she of course starts calling for me to "put me nigh nigh mama" He then accuses me of being weak when I want to go tuck her in as usual and it's down hill from there. He's feeling left out. I feel he interjects himself at really bad times. I wish he'd just get on the floor and play with her for ten minutes a day and discuss bed times, feeding etc. with me but not while it's going on. I'm not sure if I'm venting or asking for advice. He's a great man but really irritating hahaha T.
Read the entire question and 8 answersMy mother in law comes over 24-7 and doesn't leave for hours. I work 40-55 hours a week and frankly I would like to come home to just my husband and kids. He says shes helping. I find her to be controlling that I go to my room after work and when she is here on my days off. She talks about me to her daughter. I work, my husband doesn't and she criticises the house not being picked up even though I work a lot of hours to make ends meet. She thinks we should be harsh on our kids. I have good kids but to her they are not good or behaved. She tries to control everything. I am at the point of picking my kids up and leaving bc this has gone on long enough. She had not much to do with us when my kids were little. My husband says I overreact. I feel trapped.
Read the entire question and 11 answersHi. First let me say that my husband and I moved in with his mother to help with rent and split the bills. This was about 2 years ago. I got pregnant and now have a 15 mth old daughter. My husband and I separated in April of 2007, and i'm still in his "mother's place". He no longer stays here. I'm thinking about moving but don't know if I should. He does not come around much although he still has the keys and comes whenever he feel like it. he's still paying have the rent but that's pretty much it. His mom and I get along pretty well, but sometimes I feel that she is a little pushy. I could move to have my own space but i don't know if i can afford that with daycare expenses, rent and so fort. Please advise. Should i get my own space or should I just stay and deal with the unexpected visits from my husband amoung other things. His mom also helps out with watching my daughter if I want to hang out with friends. Advise please. Confused separated mom
Read the entire question and 5 answersI am a SAHM. I have one daughter who just turned 2 and I am pregnant with another little girl, due in November. My husband has clearly showed me that he will not stick up for me when it comes to his sisters. One of them called me and talked to me like I wouldn't talk to my dog. I've never been talked to like this in my life! He said he will not lose his sister. My family is not close and he said he will not be like me. We have many other issues, including, but not limited to the fact that he is a supervisor at UPS and works 12-15 hr days. My daughter and I see him an hour a night if that. He says he has too much stress to deal with at work and with money and he is not going to talk to me. I don't know what to do. I don't want my daughters to think that marriage is supposed to be like this. I have no money. He does all the bills. How do I save for a lawyer? Do I just tell him we're done and hope he files for divorce. I am so depressed and sick over this. I haven't eaten all day and I haven't slept for over 24 hrs. This is not the first time something like this has happened. He also wants a boy and says it will be the end of us if I have my tubes tied after my delivery. I have terrible pregnancies and we supposedly don't have enough money to even buy my toddler a bed. How could we afford another child?! He says he doesn't care what I want. It means everything to him to keep trying for a boy. He is the only boy in his family, and the youngest of 3 girls. It's his way or the highway. No compromising, EVER. I want to talk to someone who understands. I feel like I am so alone.
Read the entire question and 11 answersMy husband has a major problem controlling his temper and does not even see that it effects his children and everyone else around him when he blows. My son must have inherited this behavior because he has been removed from schools because he hits when he does not like what someone says to him or the way someone looks at him. He throws tandrums also. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what triggers my son, and now I just think it is in his blood. How do you fight that? When my husband has his "adult" trandrums, he does not care who is around. My aunt came over to see our new house the other day, and he was cursing and shouting at the top of his lungs because he was mad at me. She immiediately left. Some of it is the fact that he is envious of the family support system that I have but he should understand that he can be part of that family structure if he stops the ranting. We just moved into a new neighborhood, and I don't want him alienating my son by his behavior, meaning non of the other parents will allow their children to play with him because of my husband. He will go to therapy but only because I want him to, not because he feels he has a problem. This would do no good in my opinion because he must first admit he has a problem with his temper. I have known him since 1999, and at times he gets better but there has been too much backsliding. I am very close to getting me and my children out of this situation. He has had these "adult" tandrums 3 times in front of my mom while she was doing us a favor and keeping the kids. She has now said she will not come stay the night any longer. She says if she needs to keep the kids, she will keep them at her house. He has never hit me nor do I feel threatened that he would but I can't put up with the disrespect. I have never disrespected any of his relatives or his mother by doing something like this and he has done things to anger me. I don't understand why he would do this when things are going so well for us right now. His mother has told me about some of the things he did as a child and some of them are the same things my son does. At the same time, she always backs him and will not tell him that his behavior is wrong. Give me whatever advice you have.
Read the entire question and 10 answersMy husband of 11 years has always been a drinker, but had considerably improved upon the arival of our two children. However, we have moved to a new town in the last year and the old habits are starting up again. In the last two weeks he has come home intoxicated several times, including a few incidences where he didn't get home until 2am or later. One of them was Wednesday night! I need to address this now before it continues, but am looking for some feedback/advice. I think that I should sit him down (he knows we are talking tonight) and ask him why he feels he needs to be out all the time (he works a lot of hours as well)What is it about being at home with us that he wants to avoid? I've heard all the excuses and am already formulating what I need to say, but I'm not sure how to open this discussion. Any suggestions? I really need some outside insight today. Thanks to you all!
Read the entire question and 19 answersLadies just want to know your opinion. If your hubby is married before do you let him to communicate with his ex? Hubby has been married before. They didn't have kids. I just found out he's communicating with his ex. And he didn't say anything about it. If you were in my situation what would you do? Are you going to ask him why? They had a big fight when they broke up and now they seems friends. If you broke up with your ex with a physical fight would you still be friends with him/her?
Read the entire question and 24 answersHas anyone had experience with, or know of, a qualified marriage/personal counselor in the western burbs? My husband and I are going through a difficult time and I could use the advice and ear of a professional to help sort things out. Thanks in advance for any help you could offer.
Read the entire question and 6 answersLadies, I have a question that has to do with intimacy. It seems my husband and I cannot quit meet together. when He is ready,' I am not. etc.. like He took a nap at 8-11p.m. and by that time i am ready to turn in and am not interested. we fight comstantly about this issue. On an average we are getting together 2 times a week, however, it was just five days since the last time. My question is, Are their any women out there who expierence this? And do you think that 2 times a week is average? Also , what time is everyone doing intimacy? I feel like seeing a therpist about this issue, He seems to think that I don't want it, but i feel so spread thin, when I come home from work all my attention goes to the kids. I don't mean to leave him out but they need attention before bed.
Read the entire question and 19 answersIm needing to know what to do about my marriage. My husband is very controlling and we all ways fight when he is home. I just want us to go back to normal. He seems to think that after we got married he doesn't have to be romantic anymore? Why do they think that?
Read the entire question and 7 answersWhat happens to your "adult time" when you have 2 kids. Nothing has happened for me since before my daughter was born, and I was on bed rest. Any suggestions???
Read the entire question and 9 answersI've been married for 9 years and have two small children. My husband and I are inching closer to splitting, but both very hesitant as we are concerned about the impact on our children. Additionally, there are other financial and practical reasons for not ending the marriage, but we are both pretty unhappy and searching for a solution. We've been to marriage counseling, tried an "in-house" separation, which didn't seem to work very well and a more formal separation but logistically it was too hard with the kids. That said, I'm wondering if there are couples/moms out there that have explored or have alternative living situations to keep the family "together" but provide separation for the parents. I'm convinced that if we all moved into a duplex it would be better than shuffling the kids between two houses and provide the separation from my husband that I long for. I'm wondering if anyone has tried this and would love to hear about it.
Read the entire question and 14 answersMy son is 5 months old. I will never regret having him. My husband is a great father and loves him dearly. Unfortunately, we can not get along. He is an attorney - so he always has to be right. He is so critical of me as a person. I know he loves me, but it seems that I will never be good enough. He says I am to blame for 90% of our relationship problems. I have worked on myself and really tried. He says he sees how I've improved, but he's an impatient person and tired of waiting. I feel he is truly selfish, ungrateful, and unwilling to change or "meet me halfway" b/c he doesn't think he is wrong. (He even blames me for his acid reflux!) We decided this morning to separate ... I am brokenhearted ... but also relieved ... I have lost hope that he will ever appreciate me and love me for who I am - or accept that I have faults and can be emotional. He says I have low self esteem b/c I desire compliments and praise. We are considering staying in the same house and co-parenting. Anybody tried that? Any advice and prayers would be appreciated. We've been together 5 years and it seems it's always been a struggle. We're both tired of fighting. I wish there was a way to make this work. We've tried counseling before, but his only reason for going is so he can enlist the help of a professional to change me. He truly does not think he has any responsibility or can help our situation. Everything rests on me. I will never be perfect ... and I'm so tired of trying. So what's the point of going to counseling? Thank God for my baby. And I know that without my husband I never would have had my little angel, my precious son.
Read the entire question and 49 answersI am 27 and me and my husband have been married for four months now. We have been together for 61/2 years. It was pretty much a normal relationship in the beginning but then things started to get bad and then they went from bad to worst then we were good again. However recently I just found out that he cheated on me. I found out a month after we were married. I spoke to him and the female involved and they both said that they only had intercourse once. He said the reason was because he felt guilty after the first time. He says that he was only with her because she was giving him money. She also says that she hardly seen him or spoke to him but still it happened and it broke my heart. all those years i never cheated and he waited till we getting married to do it. After this incident i no longer trust him and i find myself thinking about it all the time wondering was this the first time? were they telling the truth about it being only once? The problem is that this man blames me for everything wrong in his life. He even said that it was my fault he cheated. I can not no longer accept him blaming me for all that is wrong in his life. I don't know if I feel this way because I found out he cheated or if I feel this way because he should be a man and stop blaming me for his mistakes and fix them hisself. What do you think? Should I try to work this marriage out?
Read the entire question and 9 answersI need help! I have a problem and could really use suggestions. My problem is that I can't sleep in the same bed as my husband. There are several reasons for this. One is that he snores. He's tried lots of remedies, but none of them have been really successful. Another reason is that he flips and flops like a fish whenever he rolls over. Also, he doesn't like any covers on, so they end up getting tossed over to my side where I get all tangled up. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Basically, every night is a struggle for me. He falls asleep almost instantly and I lay there for an hour and when I do fall asleep, I wake up frequently throughout the night. When he goes out of town for business, I sleep so peacefully. It's wonderful. So, what should I do? I have tried a sleeping pill, but that doesn't seem like a permanent solution and I need to be able to take care of children if they wake up at night. I have thought several times about getting my own room, but I just don't think I could bring myself to do it. I love my husband and cherish the time we have together every night as we get ready for bed. But I'm getting desperate! I am tired of trying to catch a nap every day and feeling like a zombie all the time. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!
Read the entire question and 20 answersYou know the rest. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I have come to the end of my rope. Our relationship has not been the best. No one in my family likes him. And I've found myself stuck in the middle of disputes. My six year old daughter calls him daddy (biological father is deceased). I told him what I need/want out of this relationship (eliminate the female friends, time, more respect, and more help with the house). I thought this was reasonable and should not start a debate. I've asked for suggestions how to rekindle the flame in our relationship and make it better and got nothing. I've expressed a few times, I no longer want to be with him. Now, he wants to give suggestions. I think about taking him back, but then he'll do something to remind me why i broke up with him. I am a strong believer in family and that if you really love and care for someone, you'll do whatever it takes to make your relationship work. Should i keep my head to the sky or try to work things out?
Read the entire question and 7 answersI'm a single mom with a beautiful almost 5 year old daughter. My boyfriend of 10 months just broke things off and left me devastated as I am very much in love with him. We still talk and are going to try a friendship, which is fine. However, I'm an emotional wreck. I'm mostly fine at work, because I have things to keep me busy and people to occupy my mind. When I get home, though, it's so hard. I don't have family in the area, and my friends have their own lives too so sometimes I feel so alone. If that weren't enough stress my daughter's father has decided not to pay his child support, so I have the added stress of trying to figure out how to pay the bills and put food on the table. I've tried looking for a second job, but with sole custody I can't afford a babysitter and don't have the flexibility needed for a part time job. It just seems like I can't catch a break lately. Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on things I can do to keep me busy at home once my daughter is in bed or ways I can try to cope with all this I would appreciate it.
Read the entire question and 7 answersAfter divorce, I have been a single mom since 3 months into pregancy (my parting gift) and for 4 years now. Have been dating the love of my life for 2 years. Thinking of the next step. Anyone out there in the same boat? So many what ifs. Husband again? More pregnancies?
Read the entire question and 8 answersOk so here is my problem : I have been getting angry at my SO and children for a few weeks now it seems like just the sound of anyones voice can push me over the edge. I hate answering the same questions, saying the same things over and over and it seems like even if i want t have a normal conversation with the hub i can lose all patients and want to fight. I am to the point where i would be happiest if i was not around anyone at all. Nomatter how something is said i immeditaly take offence to it! Anyone have any advice from the outside looing in?
Read the entire question and 53 answersInfuriated does not even begin to describe how I'm feeling at this very moment. So I'm home, watching a movie with my kids, the second Scooby Doo movie which we've watched about a million and a half times before, and the boys start yipping and hollering about finding the dvd player's remote. They climb over me, starting pulling up the covers off the bed , tossing around pillows searching for the stupid remote and I couldn't understand why. My boys are 8 and 5 years old and my older boy finds it and scans a bit back in the movie.. my younger one is sniggering and I ask what's so funny. And almost in unison they point to the tv screen and the Velma character is climbing through a massive drain pipe on her hands and knees, her backside to the camera. and Duncan(8yr old) says "look, daddy said you can see her underwear" And both boys are laughing hysterically. Am I being too sensitive? Or is this really inappropriate? Should I approach my spouse, knowing that it's highly unlikely he'll even apologize because he won't see anything wrong with it. This is how's it's been for years. I'm always the "over-reactive "one. Why do I always have to be the bad guy?
Read the entire question and 7 answersI am getting SOOOO frustrated with DH. Quite a long story but I'll shorten best I can. Background: He quit his very good paying job about 3 years ago (while we were TTC) and decided to open a small business, with almost NO money (we were way behind in bills and lots of debt and with his $job we were at the break even point where we FINALLY paid things off and caught up). He opened an off-road store (he LOVES offroading) and sells off-road vehicles. It's not a booming business so we've been struggling with $$$ ever since and are worse off (financially) than ever before! For this reason, we got to the point where we fought ALL the time and had yelling matches constantly over the dumbest things and of course, money. Now, my credit and his is ruined (when we both had AAAA++++ credit to start ). He wasn't around much with 1st pregnancy because he was working so much to try to promote and grow thebusiness. Things got better when DS was born. and then the fighting began soon after... Several months back we were at the brink of divorce, no joke. then, we found out we were preg again and it was like a 360 for him. he was sweet, kind, trying really hard to spend more time at home, we were talking like adults and making plans to make our newly growing family work even with little money. We m/c'ed in April. The past week he's been terrible. Not yelling, but just not coming home "on time" (really never was a time but I know he closes the store at 6 so about 8 is the latest I expect him home to close out store and inventory, paperwork, etc). We hardly have any family time together as it is already (poor DS). OOOOOK... now why I'm so P'd off today!!!: Last night, I called him around 7/7:30 to find out what time he was coming home (anytime soon!?). he said he was working on somethings and busy and couldn't talk. Then again around 8:30, he was working on website or something and was closing up and would be home "soon" (whatever that means). Then at 9:45!!!! STILL not home!!!!! I was so frustrated and told him it was TOTALLY UNREASONABLE to be gettinghome at 10:00 o'clock at night! he said he was on his way. I unbolted the door and left the little lock locked so he could unlock it himself (assuming he would be home soon). I went to the bed and layed down and surfed the web on my blackberry for awhile until I dozed off. I woke up at 12:40 am and He was getting in the bed! i was at the ROOFTOP with smoke! I told him that it is completely unacceptable to be getting home so late and if he wanted to work on the internet website, we have internet at home SOLELY for that reason! He said, well I didn't JUST get home, i got home like an hour ago. GRRRR.... ok, so 12 in the morning is better than 1 in the morning???? seriously... I made him sleep on the floor in the baby's play room I was so upset! I haven't argued with him like this since before we were pregnant (with our angel-m/c). and i KNOW he was just surfing online on you Tube (he's totally addicted) most of the time. Is he avoiding me? us? what did i do wrong? why doesn't he want to come home??? The night before he got home at 11:30ish because he went out with a friend. wasn't that enough??? I'm very sad but can't even cry because i'm soooo upset!!!!
Read the entire question and 31 answersMy husband has been having a hard time at work. I really would like to do something special for my husband but I am having a hard time thinking of anything. Any suggestions as to what I could do?
Read the entire question and 14 answersFirst of all my son just turned 5. My boyfriend of 4 years, my son, and myself just moved into a house together in May and it just isn't working out. My boyfriend is a great guy and the only constant figure my son has had in his life. How do I tell him that we will no longer be living here? And how do I explain that he probably won't see my boyfriend much anymore if at all? I'm heartbroken over the whole break up but I also know that it wasn't a perfect fit. A little background on my sons dad...we divorced when my son was 6 months and he goes on and off without seeing him. There used to be times he would see him every week...now for the past year or so he goes months at a time without seeing or talking to him. I know this breaks my sons heart because he has his dad on a pedelstal. I just dont' want him to think that every guy in his life is just going to walk away. I just don't know what to do ;( My son is already an angry child and he's seen so much in his short little life....I just don't want to keep adding to it.
Read the entire question and 11 answersHere is the issue.my parents are rv'ers and come and go. This year they stayed as they had to work cuz the $$ ran out. They are 2 minutes away and pretty much take care of themselves. I help out when they need a ride to the food bank or dr and the other one has the vehicle. Now that winter has come my dad needed to winterize and skirt the rv. So he ask my husband to use some lumber that we had in the shed. Ok . Fine. Then he wanted to barrow more things to build a covered porch. He asked for a few things. Then he totally expected my husband to drop everything and help him. Didn't ask only implied "what are you doing"?? So feeling the guilt my dh went to help. 1 day with the skirting. (cold outside) and 2 days with the covered patio (out till dark) come to find out that my dad had went through out tool shed to get the screws and more lumber and whatever else he thought that he needed to take or step on to get to the things he wanted. (without asking, (kinda sneaky) well this really pisses my dh off and i totally understand the feeling. It makes me mad too. Here is where the struggle comes. They know how we feel, we have told them that all we want is for him to ask first and let us know what he takes or needs . When we told them about it last year they got offended and would say things like you can't go in their shed . Stay out of their shed. So no matter how we ask or if we say something they will get offended. All i am doing is trying to make everyone happy. Now x-mas is coming and not to mention my dads b-day is on xmas so foe black friday he handed me an add with a mp3 player on it for $49.99 and said for me to get everyone to pitch in for it so i wouldn't have to pay for the whole thing. THEY USUALLY GET US SECOND HAND ITEMS OR THINGS THEY HAVE ALLREADY . BUT DAD HAS HIGHER STANDARDS FOR HIMSELF. AND IN THE PAST HE USUALLY SELLS WHAT WE GET HIM OR GIVES IT BACK FOR US TO SAVE FOR HIM . SO I DECIDED WITH THAT I WOULD ONLY BUY FOOD ITEMS OR GAS CARD THINGS THAT I KNOW WONT GO TO WASTE. So i feel guilTY that if i don't get for him he will be mad at me like if i was a child again. I have two older brither that really arn't around because they don't want to be. My dh said how irritated he is that my dad did that to me and wants me to say something. Yet i am not wanting to hurt anyones feelings being that my dad helped us this year with tileing our whole house and he is our handy man. So if i ask him to help me he will. My dad has this double standard that he is the "dad" and that is it.what should i do .....???? Sorry so long
Read the entire question and 4 answersI just wonder how some other moms handle their husbands being away a lot. I work from home in the mornings and in the office in the afternoons. My mom watches my 16 month old beautiful daughter during that time. My husband attends school and studies during the day and works 4 to 5 nights a week. So it is not often that I get to spend more than an hour with my husband a day. What I want to know is how do you handle having primary care for a toddler every evening and the loneliness that comes from not having your partner at home in the evenings? He has worked evenings/nights for most of our 6 1/2 years of marriage, and I did okay, but since our baby was born, it has been so hard to handle most of her care by myself. And since my daughter goes to bed around 7 or 7:30 I have the whole evening where I feel stuck at the house and very lonely. I guess I just would like some advice on what to do and how to combat the loneliness.
Read the entire question and 21 answersMy concern is about table manners. Has anyone out there heard of official table ettiquite that says it's best to say grace before you serve yourselves. My family thinks they should be able to served and eat before grace. I think differently. I am trying to find something about this in writing. If you can help me, please let me know where to find this answer. Thank you
Read the entire question and 14 answersLast Saturday, I threw my husband a surprise birthday party. He recieved a few gifts from the attendees, of course. Here is my dilemma: he does not and will not see the importance in doing thank you notes. I feel like they need to be sent. So, do I write them and sign his name or nag him until he writes them? I would rather do the former as I'm not a big fan of nagging. If I do write them what do I say, since it will be obvious that I'm the one doing it? Thanks so much for your help!
Read the entire question and 6 answersI have been married for over 12 years. It has not been a bed of roses by any means and lately it seems to only be getting worse. We had our first child 16 months ago and now I worry whether or not staying in this dead-end marriage is the best for our little boy. My husband does nothing around the house and rarely helps with our son. He likes to go out a lot without us and seems to not be a family man at all. I have asked him to go to marriage counseling and he refuses. I am contemplating divorce, but unsure of how the best way to go about it. I am just looking for a little advice from any mothers who have gone through this and managed to stay on good terms with their ex, or is that even possible?
Read the entire question and 16 answersI feel like I am disconnected from my husband since we had our second daughter. I work 4 days a week and pretty much do everything for my 25mth old and 6 mth old daughters. I love spending every second with them but I feel like I don't have time for my husband. After the girls are in bed I clean up, do laundry, get stuff ready for the next day (i.e. clothes, bottles etc) and then I rest for half an hour and watch Tv then bed. I definitely slack on the house cleaning because their just isn't enough time and spending it with my duaghters is more important. My eldest daughter has been waking up every night with nightmares and my youngest still isn't sleeping through the night, so I am exhausted after a days work and little sleep. My husband and I don't talk as much as we use to or have as much fun together. It seems like we are always chasing after kids or feeding them etc. I am trying to see how other people handle it with 2 children so close together and what else you can do at night besides watch TV. We were use to going out and dancing but now we can't with the kids and I am fine with that. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My eldest has never been left alone without us besides the night I had my second daughter and I really don't want to leave her with a babysitter. She spends all day away from us at daycare and I really cherish the time we have together. She is growing up too quickly and I don't want to regret things or miss out. Plus, if we go out after she is in bed then I would be too exhausted in the morning and would probably be irritable with the girls and they deserve better then that. I have seen how my sister in law and friends treat their children after a late night out on the town and I honestly feel so sorry for the kids. I want to reconnect with my husband even though we can't go out and have to stay at home. I know he is bored with the sitting at home scene because after I go to bed or the kids are in bed he normally goes over to our neighboors and hangs out (our neighboor works at home so he can sleep in everyday). But the other problem is my husband never gets up in the morning with the kids. He would rather let them scream in their cribs then get out of bed. I have to always get up and my eldest is up by 6-6:30 am everyday, if I don't get up then he wont either. I know if I don't start working on things then it will only get worse and who knows if we will make it as a couple. I really need some help and advice. I know most people are thinking get your husband to do something and get up with the girls at night but my girls only want me and will scream with him plus I love the bonding time with them.
Read the entire question and 8 answersLast year I unexpectedly got pregnant with #2. My husband and I had been having problems and he moved out before I got pregnant. He was 1/2 around and 1/2 over there. Well after giving birth, I found out the entire truth of what he had been doing while over there. I went through the entire pregnancy with no help, paying all my bills, and supporting 2 other kids. He did nothing to help. He did however decide to start dating and sleeping around. He also had a 4 month relationship which ended 1 week right after I gave birth. The whole time I was pregnant he was telling me how he'd do anything to make things right and wanted to work on things with me but he never was around long enough to try anything flip flopping back to her bed. So here we are 7 months later....divorced, then tried counseling which didn't work for ME, and he is still wanting to try or holding on to something with me. I don't know if he is even telling me the truth now about anything but he swears he is. So as much as it hurts I realize that I was probably the driving force behind him always going. I was a horomonal mess and nagging, yelling, and miserable because of what he wasn't living up to and how he could treat me the way he was treating me. So now I have come to the point where I can't figure out what to do. I don't know if he's worth trying to change for. Yes, I know if I started acting differently and quit nagging and put forth the bigger effort that he MIGHT come around. I just don't know if I want to remarry him. I don't know if I want to be with someone who can treat people the way he treated me. I do still love him but I am also very hurt and having the hardest time getting past his 4 month relationship with some girl I know. He lied to me so many times and made me think I was going crazy and put me into labor and I honestly don't think he cared if the baby was born alive. Now I have the cutest 7 month old baby boy who is so happy and so good and now he wants to be a dad. And now the problem is me. How do I know I'm supposed to work it out with him? How do I know he won't hurt me again? I'm coming to think that all guys are the same - a lot of work on our part. Is it worth to start dating again? I'm just stuck in limbo. Can't move on and can't put myself into working on a relationship with him. And I guess the only way I've made it this far is having faith that things would get better and putting a lot of work into fixing me and finding my happiness and working on forgivness. I know relationships have survived much more than what I've been through. I give you woman so much credit but HOW in the world do you do it? When does it dawn on you that he is worth it?
Read the entire question and 12 answersI am a teacher and have the summer off. I am keeping my 2 year old (very active) son home with me....naturally. The issue is my husband is currently laid off and we are all home together this summer. The positive sides are we can take turns watching my son while we do errands and spend time together at the beach, pool etc....but on the other hand the stress of not having a job is weighing down on us. It's hard to relax and enjoy when my wonderful husband/ father of my son is worried. He comes up with little projects that are driving me crazy,(dumping my sons toy in a crate because they take up to much room...and the parts are incomplete) plus my son identifies more with me so this is an issue. I know , I know he needs a hobby, which is golf, a very expensive hobby.Unfortunately he cannot do this everyday. I know I'm venting more than looking for advice but I may lose my mind soon. Wine helps , but I have to be in a bathing suit for the rest of the summer. Thanks for listening.
Read the entire question and 10 answersHello beautiful ladies are any of you bigger than your boyfriend or husband or lover, do you feel self conscious sometime when making love or are you one of those confident ladies, you could be taller or weight more how do you guys interact with each other, in todays times opposites do attract. I would love to hear all your input. Thank you beautiful ladies.
Read the entire question and 17 answersI am at a crossroads and have been for quite sometime. Locked in a 23 year unhappy marriage. There is no communication, intimacy or the like. Live under one roof, but in very separate worlds. Any words of wisdom???
Read the entire question and 21 answersWell, I've been dating someone for about 10 years now, we met when my daughter was 4 years old. Her father was not a part of her life for many years, and i'm not really sure why. I've always wanted him in her life but he chose otherwise. So the man I became involved with, has been the father figure in her life since that time. As all relationships, we have had some tough times, which resluted in him making the decision that we should go our separate ways. No that is not what i wanted, because i didn't feel the issues were unsolveable, they were issues that we could have very well worked out. But neither here nor there it's been 2 weeks now since the relationship ended. My daughter did have a good relationship with him, not as close a father, but they had a good relationship, and i could see as time passed on it was progressing. I do believe she was a little reluctant to get too close in the beginning, because she has and i think she still does wonder why her father is not around, I've never lied to her about her father, and i have been truthful when she asks why he doesn't call or come around. And i tell her I don't know, which i really don't know where he is, why he hasn't called, and i also told her that he has our contact information, so if ever wanted to call us he could. So i'm wondering if i should tell her now that the guy I've been dating for all these years will not be coming around anymore. I'm just afraid that she will not understand why, yet again someone will not be around anymore. Or is it that i'm making too much out of this. Although she might not really notice any difference, because we didn't live in the same household. So ladies please offer some advice and/or sugggestions about how to hanle this, is anyone has actually experienced this in their life before...Thanks Much!!
Read the entire question and 18 answersI found out after about a year later my husband has been speaking to his ex-girlfriend on my space and met with her for luch and even has spoken to her on the phone and lied to me about the whole thing. I pulled up his myspace website and found out that way. Then when I confronted him about that all he said was "I am sorry, she doesn't mean anything to me and I don't know why I didn't tell. I thought you would get upset. How would you respond to this. I am not sure I can trust him. I saw a few of the emails they replied to each other and didn't seem like much, just how are you doing and so on....
Read the entire question and 20 answers