Where to Put a 18Month Old in Timeout

try putting her in a chair at the dining room table, if you have one and it's in the same room as you are in. my kids both don't care if i put them in time out in another room or they continously get out. i started putting them in a chair in the dining room and pull it out from the table. then they have to stay there until they are completely quiet for a few minutes and they are still. (i saw this wathcing the duggar show one night:P) that seems to work pretty effectively for mine.

Supernanny.com has the best advice. My Daughter was the same way- The distracting technique for babies is what is recommmend and then when she was two i started the time out technique. I learned that time outs can be used anywhere, better than spanking but you must be constant. Yes the screaming is very attention getting. Supernanny says give a warning and then if the behavor continues put her in time out with an explaination and one minute per rule. The bottome of the stairs, no tv, and I had to be in the room but not paying her any attention. If she gets up you put her back. When the time is up she must apolize for her action.

After a few times she got the idea and still works today.

hi there
i use a corner in my bedroom for my sons timeout....it is away from all his toys & in a location he does not play in. when he was 18mo.s i would count to 3 & then let him come out. that was the hard part for him....(even just to 3) but the pt is that he knew he was there because he crossed the line. now he understands the timout thing....and he counts to 10 for me. (he's 34 mos.) you are on the right rd.... & for many kids it is enough. good luck...J. j

Some ideas:

a high chair or a booster seat (strapped in)
a pack n' play
her crib
a car seat (if you are out and about)

We've used all of them at different stages, my son just turned 3 and we are still using his crib.

Mary S has already suggested that giving a warning each time is not such a good idea - little kids already know that certain behaviors are wrong, especially if they have ever received any negative feedback about it even once, so the additional warnings really do end up training them to ignore you!!

Just a question about using time-outs: why not a swat on the behind??? I've read some of the other suggestions of putting them in the bathroom and holding the door so they can't get out, gates to keep them confined in a room, and so on, and I don't understand how those behaviors are viewed as less cruel than a quick swat and the words "don't do that."

Not to mention the sheer exhaustion of so much negative energy!

The good thing about using spanking instead of time-out is that it is swift, effective, to the point, easily understood, and it's immediately over with so that the child can go on with a happy day -- and you are not spending time trying to figure out how to force a child who is already disobedient to obey an even more unpleasant order of sitting perfectly still for an amount of time.

Part of the negative reinforcement you have going on here is the attention she is receiving: sadly, negative attention is still attention, and little kids who start out being "good" sometimes end up slipping into monsterdom because they get more attention by being bad.

When she is behaving in a way that you approve, whether it is quietly playing with toys or whatever, consciously spend some time with her by giving her a hug, sit with her for a little while, tell her what a sweetie she is and how nicely she is playing, stuff like that. Positive reinforcement. If you do that and eliminate all the time you are spending on the warnings and time-outs then she will learn that it is more fun to be good and get hugs and smiles than it is to be bad and go through all that other stuff.

You will also be happier because all your energies are spent in enjoying your child rather than in fighting to make her sit in a chair or something.

why don't you have a baby gate across the door to her room? How do you keep her in at night?

How about a cushion on the floor? I can't remember at what age my son started time outs but it was pretty near 18 months. It has been very efective for us. He has a time out chair in the sitting room and knows if he gets up that the punishment is worse. She has to know that she can not get up. Also, I do not place him in time out. He is told to go and takes himself. He is 3 now and knows the drill. I feel like putting her there will start a battle that you don't want to fight later on. My friend sits her son on the kitchen floor. Just find a spot and keep it consistent.

Developmentally at this age throwing (overhand) and hand/eye coordination take off, add in a little toddler emotion and voila! a new effective toddler communication device! Crashing and smashing is sooo much fun!

My personal opinion (probably in the minority) is to help her off the emotional ledge with love and support at this early age instead of time outs. unless what she is doing is destructive or dangerous- it's just too soon. with that said i don't mean to totally igore the behavior either. At this age to nip it in the bud may be take a step back and see if her changes in behavior run a theme (frustated, bored, needs attention, can't communicate etc) and possibly help her a little there first. Totally think the earlier posts of pitfals with giving warnings is super advice as well a great ideas for TO's for the future.

We all want to be the best mommy for our kids and it is such dilemna on when to act and when to relax. This site is great and i learn alot from all you moms! you all rock!

my youngest is a little over 2 and we just started using time outs on him. He's the youngest of 4 and none did time out before age 2... some were even 3.
when they would start throwing things, the things would be taken away. if they start hitting, the child would be removed to a different room until they calmed down. It doesn't take very long for a toddler to get distracted or calm down.
we have a couple different spots in our house. a rug in the hall. a chair in the corner of the kitchen. a big rocking chair in the little one's room. etc. you want to put them somewhere they can't get to or see toys. for older ones, you want them to be away from any kind of stimulation. not in the same room where everyone else is playing. Or if you must, not facing the other people in the room.
you do want to be careful about using their rooms as their discipline place. you don't want her to get sleep issues from associate going to her room with getting in trouble.
I suggest get a small rug like a bath rug or something (not too cute or they'll play with that while they're in time out) and find an area that is slightly removed from the main area in the house. you will have to keep putting her back constantly, but eventually she'll catch on. I don't know if it'll be any time soon though because she's really young still.

I have four sons and have used time out as a relief for myself as much as my children. We've found that a spot on the floor is all you need, no matter which room you're in. They may have time out in the same room everyone is in, but they must sit in the designated spot. Please understand we don't ridicule our children by disciplining them in front of everyone, but they want to be in the same room. As mine have become teens, I ask them to go to their room until they can cool off. Usually, after they've cooled off we talk about whatever was upsetting. Sometimes we all need a minute or two to think:-)

In the kitchen, my 3 year old sits in front of the frig. In the living room/dining room, he sits under the light switch. In my room he sits in front of the closet door. In his room, he isn't required to sit.

For us, time out is not a punishment so much as a teaching moment. We're trying to teach that the naughty behavior has to stop.

I hope this two cents of mine helps you.

~Pam

Hi C.! Yes, that is tough. We tried a little chair at first, but she had too much fun! When our daughter was younger, I found putting her in the bathroom to be effective. At that age, they really can't be in there long, and my house is totally childproofed, so there was no chance of getting into shampoo, etc. I would just shut her in there for only 20 seconds..but just that separation was enough to get her to change her behavior. She didn't like it..which is heartbreaking...but it helped her learn that it is best to start behaving with that first warning. Now, I do something that will probably get some flak... I use her crib. She is in a toddler bed now..but even when she was transitioning I used it. I know that there is the belief that you shouldn't use a source of comfort for punishment..but to me, time out is not so much punishment..it is re-grouping. The crib is a safe place, that she can go. I can shut the door, and leave her now for 2 minutes...knowing she will not harm herself. ( she has no clue she can climb out..so no fear of that). We have a baby coming..which is why the crib is still up..so who knows what I will do then..but for now it works. It actually kind of calms her down. Good luck. Just try different places, and see what works for you. Your daughter is really young to stay anywhere for more than 1/2 a minute...so holding the bathroom door shut should not be a problem. Take care!
A. :)

I've always heard that 18 months is too old for an official time out. I just try to remove my child from the situation but not leave her alone in an official time out. What I have done when my child does this is give her a warning and show her the correct way to play with the toy and then if she throws again, take the toy away and say why. When she does use it correctly, I praise her a lot. She doesn't hit often but when she does, I make a very sad face and tell her she has hurt mommy and then ask her if she can hug gently. Another big thing at our house is the art of distraction--moving on to something else rather than make a big deal out of the misbehaviour. I understand wanting to nip the problem and I'll do more later but I have also heard mixed messages about time outs at this young age. Hope you have success in whatever you try! :)

I used to teach preschool for infants and toddlers (up to 2 years), and we rarely used timeouts. Their attention span is so short that they can't really remember why they're sitting there. I did use timeouts occasionally for biting. Whether you use them depends on your kid, but 18 months is a little young.

At that age, the best punishment is ignoring the behavior. They live for your attention, good or bad, so struggling with them over timeout could still encourage the bad behavior. Tell your little girl that when she is ready to behave, you will be ready to play with her. Then go do something else. (Make sure she's safe of course)

If you get angry when she misbehaves, timeouts are also for grownups. You get a short break to calm down so you don't talk to her in anger. I think that can have a lasting affect on a child.

The best way to encourage good behavior is positive reinforcement, make a big deal out of everything good she does.

Good luck!

How is 18 months old too young to sit??? We started time out with my daughter when she was 18 months and she sat just fine. We only had her sit for a min (our pediatrician suggests 1 min for every yr)but to a toddler a min is FOREVER! the first several times we had to chase her down cuz she WOULDNT sit but after doing that she got the idea. Now, all we have to do is warn her that shes gonna go in the time out chair if she doesnt do as shes told and thats usually good enough to deter her from doing the unwanted behavior. If u really feel ur struggling with her, talk to ur pediatrician, thats what they r there for :o)

Good luck!

Not sure of the best place...but I think you should avoid the crib or highchair since you don't want either of those to be associated with a negative experience. I've heard of sitting them on your lap and crossing your arms over their lap until they get the idea to sit on their own.

I would try a pack-n-play ,if you have one. Most kids that age would hate to be confined in that.Plus it's a safe environment.
One thought on the "give one warning" thing. I have been a mother for 13 years now. One thing i've noticed about warnings is that it just trains our kids not to listen until that second or third time.Trust me, it's one thing I would go back and redo w/ my older ones. It will cut down on your stress and your childs if you both know that you speak and she must listen the FIRST time, not the second.Just a thought, blessings to you as you train your precious gift!

Hi C.,

I don't know if others will agree with me, but I think 18 months is a little too young for a "typical" time out, since they're just beginning to understand the concept of cause and effect. We tried that with my daughter around that age - now she's just over 2 and seems to understand the concept much better, though what we've done is establish her "crying pillow" - we took a big husband pillow (you know, the kind with a back and arms) and put it in the back corner of the living room. What we started explaining to her, around 18 months or so, is that certain behavior is not okay, and if she repeats it - and generally if she does she's pretty agitated and crying - she'll have to sit on her crying pillow to calm down. Initially, although I know people say not to give attention during a time out (because it can reinforce the behavior as she's getting attention) I sat with her a little bit, tried to help her take deep breaths, and continually reinforce that she needs to calm down and use her words to tell us what she wants - that we can't understand her when she's crying so hard. Sometimes she would try to leave the pillow, but more often she would stay more or less by the pillow but just flail about - and I would ignore that behavior. My sense of her has been that since toddlers really have a tough time controlling their emotions, she gets embarrassed when she can't control them, and gets her feelings hurt when we tell her no. It seems to have worked over time - sometimes when she's upset she just goes and hides until she can calm down, and doesn't want us to look at her. She's also getting better at calming down quickly, and she'll even say "Naomi stopped crying!", and wait for praise. And I've started to count to 3 with her (i.e., if you don't ________by the time i get to 3, you'll have to go to your crying pillow/I'll have to take the toy away, etc). I personally don't thinking sending a child to their room this young is effective - partly because she's likely to not understand the punishment, and also you don't want her to begin viewing her room negatively - or, she could get involved in playing with her toys and not understand that she's been punished at all. Also, remember that at this age, the longest you can really keep her in time out is 2 minutes.

Sorry to be so long-winded.........but my own experience as a parent and all my years as a therapist has given me strong feelings about this. Hope it helps! :)

Hi, C.. Well, a favorite place for a timeout for a child that young is often an empty playpen. I'm worried that if she won't stay in a chair, she will also climb out of the playpen. Remember that she has to be trained to sit in a chair or stay in one place for any length of time, so whatever you do for timeouts, you will have to monitor her without giving her much attention. That takes practice.

Make sure the timeouts are not too long. Her attention span at this age is limited, so a timeout of a minute or two is long enough. Any longer, and she won't remember why she had to get a timeout. You may have to keep putter her back in the timeout chair or the naughty playpen because she doesn't understand the procedure yet. It sounds like she's getting into the terrible twos already, so you're going to have to deal with the power struggle and the fighting for positive and negative attention.

Take heart; it's a phase, and she will eventually understand the balance between her rights & desires and the rights and desires of others. This is where it begins, though.

Peace,
Syl

C.,
I have read that time outs arent effective until the child is 2....that is also what the Super Nanny says.
I have a 17 month old who is very smart, of course I think that:) But I dont think he would understand why I am making him sit still in a chair or wherever just yet.
When my son hits, I make him show me nice touches before he can go on with whatever he was doing. He understands that. There have been times where we have sat there for several minutes waiting for him to "give in" & show me nice touches.
H.

I am struggling with this too! my daughter is a little younger but i am having trouble with her understanding we mean business and timeout is for misbehavior. I don't what to do either, any advice you receive would greatly benefit me too!

I've heard that time-outs aren't effective until 2, but we did use them occasionally starting at 18 months, just to remove our children from the situation and keep them out of trouble for the next few minutes while we cooled down! We would put them in highchair/booster seats (without the tray) because we could buckle them up. When they got a little older, we did regular chairs or a certain spot on the floor.

Hi C.- Getting up and running out of a room is all part of saying "No, I wont do it" you have to keep bringing her back and telling her the time out doesnt start until she stays put and thinks about what she did and is ready to rejoin the family with the rules you impose. Pick a spot with nothing to look at and somewhat away from the busyness of the house, but not isolated. We have a small hallway area outside the bathroom that we use. If my son gets up, he is brought back and told that the time out starts over every time he gets up. If my son is having major tantrum, we will tell him to please go to his room until he is calm and ready to discuss what is wrong, but we never put him in his room as punishment. After all, that is suppose to be a place of safeness. If you begin to use the bedroom as a place of punishment, it will make anxiety worse when she begins having issues with darkness and natural fear of being alone which usually hits around 2 1/2. Good luck

For time out, we use "the corner". We make our children face the corner and be quiet - we tell them that "corner time is quiet time" and their timeout timer doesn't start until they are quiet. That usually stops the crying or sassing because they've come to know that the sooner they are quiet the sooner they can get out of the corner. Also, we choose a corner of whatever room we're currently in. That way, they don't feel like we're abondoning them. They seem to take solace in the fact that I'm still in the room with them even though they are in trouble. We've tried putting our daughter in her room (like you mentioned) but that just created more problems! Hope this helps. Good Luck.

Give her hugs, and lots of them. She's too young to understand anything else. Get real.

My son just turned 2, but I had started putting him in timeout in the corner. Or if a corner isn't available, an empty part of the wall, facing it. He does pretty good staying there, tho at first I had to put him back or turn him around. He definitely gets it now. It seems effective on my friend's son, too, which is where I got the idea. Good luck!