18 Month Old and Timeout?

We had the samw problem. It is pretty typical for little guys. They can't quite express themselves and say what they want yet. We did timeout, but didn't find it successful until 2 or so. I finally read the book Happiest Toddler on the Block - and a huge lightbulb went off. I cannot recommend it enough!

18 months is a good age to start time outs , although they cannot communicate with us properly they do understand when they have done something wrong. With my kids at that age I removed them from what they were doing wrong and put them in their crib (I will probably get alot of negative repsonses from other mom's about this) , left them in their until they stopped screaming (usually around a minute maybe 2) , then went back , praised them for calming down then took them back to the 'scene of the crime' and told them 'you were put in timeout because' and them moved on. I got the results I wanted and they were diciplined whilst being kept in a safe place until they were old enough to understand the naughty mat and how that worked (a piece of red foam from Michaels which we still use now).

Good luck

This is the time to start time outs. We started with our daughter at about the same age for basically the same behaviors. Now all we usually need to do is threaten time out and she straightens up and behaves. Occasionally she tries to push to see if we will follow through (which we do). I definately recommend starting time outs now. This way he knows from the start that its not acceptable behavior. In a way time out is punishment, but in another way it gives the childs a chance to calm down. Find a corner and a stool or chair and have him sit and face the wall. When you feel he's had enought time in time out, go to him, explain why he's in time out, and have him apologize. Then say the I love yous and let him go play. Hope this helps. Good luck!

I think that timeouts are not as effective as a positive discipline approach, and here's why: your son is hitting for attention. So if you say, "We touch gently with our hands, see?" and model gentle touching, and give him praise when he touches you gently, then he gets the attention he wants, but for a positive reason. So although I still occasionally give a time-out for something when it's some kind of new awful behavior that I haven't though of how to redirect (they're always thinking of something, haha!), I think time-outs give attention for a negative behavior so I try to avoid them if possible (the words "NO!" and "DON'T!" also give attention for negative behaviors, so watch those too).
But the bottom line is don't get too frustrated if he doesn't get it right away -- he's just beginning to understand what hitting is. Be patient and show him how to behave the right way, and he'll get it, sooner or later!
This works for throwing too -- say, "we only throw balls or soft things like clothes, let's go find a ball and play catch!" Usually a quick game of catch makes a little one forget about their frustrations. Good luck!

Hi H.,

I definitely had to start discipline for my son at that age - actually he was 15 months. He thought it was fun to kick me when I was putting his shoes on. I'd give him a warning if he did it once. If he did it again, I would put him in a pac-n-play in the dining room (away from me) for a minute or two as a time-out. It didn't take long for him to stop kicking! But I kept using that technique every time an undesireable behavior appeared. No spanking, no yelling just removed him from me. Good luck!

Hello H.,

We've used the "thinking chair" method with my daughter ever since she was around 16 months old. She was always a very good communicator and was never afraid to express herself. Like every other typical toddler she did the hitting, kicking, screaming, tantrum phase. Whenever she hit, kicked or threw anything she was immediately taken to the thinking chair where she was made to sit for up to two minutes to think about what she had done. Each time we sent her to the chair she would initially cry and throw a fit. However, she quickly learned that the longer she refused to sit in the chair, the longer she was actually away from whatever activity she was doing because we did not start timing until she sat in the chair. After her time was up we would ask her if she knew why she was sent to the thinking chair, she was able to tell us because "I hit or kicked" or whatever the crime was. We always followed that up with a response like "Yes you did and we don't hit, I understand you may be feeling mad or frustrated (whatever the case was) however you need to learn to use your words to express yourself." We wanted to reinforce that she is entitled to "feel" whatever emotion she is currently having but she has to express that emotion with her words not physically. It takes some time but they do understand. Eventually you will get to the point where you can have your child offer up a better way they could have handled the situation. My daughter is now 3 and knows to use her words to tell us how she feels. Tantrums are a different story. Whenever she threw a tantrum we both just walked away and ignored her. (She was gated in a safe area in the living room because our DR recommended not using her bedroom as a punishment, it should be their safe haven where they drift gently off to sleep.) We did not reward her behavior with extra attention from Mommy & Daddy. Before walking away we would always tell her, "when you get yourself together Mommy & Daddy will be glad to talk about this with you, but not until you get yourself together." It sounds a bit harsh, however in less than a month she learned that screaming and crying did not get her what she wanted, she did not get her way. To this day if she starts to throw a tantrum she will stop herself and say "Mom, I've got myself together and am ready to talk about..." She knows right from wrong, and she is also very aware there are always consequences for our actions. We used time outs more as a reflection period. They are reflecting upon their actions and learning cause and effect. I hope this helps. Good Luck :)

we have been using timeouts since my daughter was 16 months old. they work well. we put her in her bedroom for 1 minute per year/ so that's 2 for her! use a timer! then BEFORE she is released we do it the super nanny way: we get down to her level, tell her to apologize for .....whatever she did. explain why whatever she did is wrong then hug and tell each other we love her! somethings take a little bit more than one timeout. however we are consistent and after one warning we will place her in.
no hitting no biting no throwing etc! good luck!

18 month old.
My 18 month old does not speak very many understandable words so reflecting does not work. His day care actually used time out a few months back, in his crib when he started biting. I thought maybe it was early but they are closer to experts than I am. He hated time out but the biting stopped within a few days. We use the time out in the pack and play. I was worried using his crib would cause him to not want to be in there at bed time. It does not take long they know what they did wrong!

Hi,
this is too young for time outs. It's your temporarily depriving him of your presence, absolutely without emotion, that will affect his behavior in a more positive way. At this age, he is probably very frustrated at not being able to communicate what he needs to. Good examples and gentle modeling behaviors work well.

If you try time outs and it's taking too much of your involvement (he won't sit and is getting increased attention), just say No Hitting, set him down, and YOU leave the room. I believe in giving no attention for negative behavior and when I tried time outs with my son, he wrapped me all up in the process. But he HATES it when I leave the room (he's 3 1/2 and still doesn't like it.) It puts me in control...now I say "I don't like that (tone of voice, whatever), when you choose to have positive energy I'll be back." At 18 mos my son bit me a few times when he was teething and I would firmly say "no biting" and leave the room. He only did it twice because he knew I wouldn't tolerate it. Good luck finding what works with your little one!

He is too young to understand timeouts and even to fully grasp everything you say. At this age re-direction is the best thing. You can still gently say "we don't hit" and then re-direct.

I do not remember when I started timeouts with the kids, my youngest is 7. I would say that you may not want to use the crib for timeouts, even for a short time, because they could associate it with bad behavior. Try a high chair, or even a chair that attaches to a seat, you can usually find one at Salvation army or goodwill stores. As for throwing food and toys, yes Very dangerous. If it's a toy, put it in a bag and tell him something along the way of, the toy can come back out when you calm down, and can play with it correctly. If he throws it again, the toy is gone for the day. As for the food, he won't starve, take it away. Just remember to let your discipline have meaning, be consistent, and make sure that your spouse is on the same page. Your yes should mean yes, and more importantly No is NO, not well maybe just this once, it will confuse him and let him know that there is negotiation room, which there IS NOT.