What Would You Do? - Ottawa,IL

I absolutely agree 100% with every word Denise said. In & of itself, a 1-time incident is just something that happens to a lot of kids, which of course doesn't make it right, but also doesn't mean they'll be scarred for life from it. I'm with her that the age difference would bother me considerably more than the act itself.

You said the incident was a few months ago but you guys get together almost every weekend so I'm just curious why you're asking about it now as though you're just now going to talk to your friends/the other parents about it sometime soon...?

oooh this is hard...

I remember playing doctor as a child....but it was EXPERIMENTAL - wanting to see what the other half had....you know?

NOW? with all the stuff that kids see on TV, games, movies, etc. it's hard to tell...I would talk with my kid - I would ask what they were doing when they were playing doctor? did he like it? leave all the questions OPEN ENDED and DO NOT show signs of stress or panic as this will not make the conversation go easily....

Ensure that your child knows that his PRIVATE PARTS ARE HIS and NOT to be touched by anyone without his permission...and NO ADULT should ask to see or touch them unless you are present and it's a doctor.

Just calmly go over things with him....don't freak...I would ensure that they are NOT left alone in the future....but if you find out mouths were touching parts, that would bug me and I would have to have a sit-down with the other parent.

Yes, I agree at 7, kids know what "private" means. I have an 8 yo and I'd be upset if I caught him doing that with a 3 yo. (Not sure exactly from your post if it was your 8 yo or your 3 yo.)
I think the neighbors are now aware of it and surely will be vigilant.
Kids have been playing doctor for years....
I'm not making light of it (though I'd be more freaked out by the age difference) but chances are, little harm will come from that O. incident.

Kids play doctor. I would mention it to ther mom, let her know what the boys were doing and check on them a little more often.
They will get beyond this stage

Be sure to talk to your sons about inappropriate touch and let him know that what he did was against the rules.
Then leave it be.

If you blow it out of proportion, you would in essense be calling her 7-yr old developmentally challenged son a pervert, so in light of the matter I think they were innocently playing doctor. I believe most kids that age have some sense of curiousity, but I am not blaming, but do you know for sure that it was not your son who was curious and because her son is developmentally challenged, he played along..just a thought.

I do believe you did the right thing by alerting the parents and you should emphasize to your son that it is not appropriate to touch private parts and leave it at that. Then try to not let them stay in the same room alone without every now and then peeping in to ensure they stop playing doctor.

I would really talk to your son about privacy. If he's changing maybe say to the baby....oh let's give your brother some privacy. That type of stuff so hopefully next time it happens he'll know to say.....no that's private.
Good luck. That is a tough one.

I guess it's normal but I usually hear about that kind of thing with preschoolers and kindergartners (ages 4-5).
7 seems a bit on the old side for it, but you gave them the private parts are private speech and everyone keeps their body parts to themselves speech so now they know.
That the 7 yr old sought out your 3 yr old might trouble me a bit.
Make sure play time is always someplace where they are easily viewed/watched - it's just a good idea for a whole lot of reasons.

Yes, I think the neighbor's son should definitely know that private parts are private. Was there touching or any removal of clothing? The only reason I ask is because when my kids do what they CALL "playing doctor" they just do "reflex checks" and look in each others mouth and ears with a flashlight. Anyway, I would not like a 7 year old to be playing alone with a 3 year old. Even if he is an immature 7 year old, that seems like a big age gap. I think you should be able to to talk to your friends about it in a non-blaming way and it will all be cleared up. Probably the sooner you talk about it, the better, or else it will seem like a topic you are deliberately avoiding and could come between you.

Hm I'm not sure what I would say (if anything) to the parents b/c it is a very touchy issue (you don't want to call their son a perv) but I would make sure never to leave them unsupervised b/c 7 and 3 is a HUGE age gap and I find it weird that your friend's son was doing that with your toddler. It could have been innocent but I don't think I would take that chance jsut in case it wasn't. But be duly warned, I've read a lot of news and my hubby was a cop so I'm kind of paranoid about stuff like that ;)