My Son "Playing" with Himself...

Hi D.

I think this is just a stage. I have a 10 year old son that did this same thing. All I did was tell him that it wasn't appropriate to do that sort of thing. He did eventually stop but he did it on his own. There really was nothing I said or did that made him stop. He just did on his own.

As the mother of two boys, ages 5 and 7, I have been there. My choice was to not scare them or make them feel ashamed. I didn't want to traumatize them and make them feel dirty. But I also didn't want to offend other people who would come over to visit on a regular basis. If I saw them doing it in a part of the house where there were other people around I would tell them to get their hands out of their pants but that if they wanted to do that they could go to their rooms or the bathroom. That is something they should have privacy for and be respectful of other people. Other people do not want to see their penises. It worked. I had to remind them while they were little but don't need to now. Good luck.

Hi D.,
Don't worry. He found it and he will continue to check on it for the rest of his life. My one grandson is 3 and was doing the same thing. My daughter was telling him a thousand times a day to stop. She finally figured out he's not going to stop so she explained to him it's private and not to touch it in front of his sister or anyone else. He has gotten much better. You have to divert their attention. When you see him playing, talk to him and get him interested in something else. J.

A child touching himself/discovering himself is completely normal, I think its just a matter of teaching him that there's a time and a place for it. For example in front of company is not the appropriate place, but in the privacy of his own room is. I don't think you'd want to make him feel like he's being "bad" because he's just curious and discovering himself. :) If you're really concerned you may want to discuss sexual health with his pediatrician.

D.
I want you to know, you're not alone. Both my boys do it. I am wondering the same thing. But obviously it must be normal. I talked to their pediatrician and he did an exam to see if they might have some type of infection that might be causing an itch but they were perfectly healthy. Of course the doctor's only concern was the cleanliness part. This really makes me nausious. I'm a single mom and do not know how to handle this either. I tried to tell their dad and he's just so cocky and laughs like it's 'cute'. Oiye Ve'! Keep me posted. I'd love to hear some advice on how to stop it. My approach just isn't working. I told them that if they touch it too much, it falls off. =0) HeHe.

They don't really get embarrassed at this age, everything is just a "matter of fact" to them. We simply remind our son that it is not nice to play with his pee pee and to go wash his hands. After a while, he got tired of having to go to the sink all the time and wash his hands. Exploring his own body is normal, especially since he has access to it out of a diaper.

Oh, heck, let him alone. If you find him something else to do like a computer game and you'll be sorry. I guess if you are really disturbed by it, you need to find something benign for him to do with his hands--an idle hand is the devil's workshop? What does he love to sleep with? He obviously has found a way to feel comfort and feel good, so give him an alternative like a soft cuddly stuffed animal. Mostly, I think he is too young to say don't do that "because..." He won't understand and I think he'll get some neurotic unhealthy message about his private parts. I think I didn't say anything to my son about it until he was about 4 when I started explaining that people had "private parts" and that only he can touch, or mommy or the doctor if he says ok. After that lesson goes in for a while, you include the idea that you only play with private parts in private, like the bathroom or in bed.
Oh those silly private parts cause so much trouble.

You likely won't be able to get him to stop D., but what works for many parents is to let kids (both boys and girls) know that touching their genitals is something private that we don't do in front of other people and they if they want to do this, they need to go into the bathroom or their bedroom and do it behind closed doors. I wouldn't punish or threaten that something bad will happen to them (not that I'm suggesting YOU would, but this may be contrary to other advice that you get).

Hey, D. F
I have three sons 7, 4, 2 all i can say is they are boys. All of them do it. The advice about letting him know where he can do this is right on. You can't stop it all togehter it's a natural response for curious little minds to explore and touch all of their parts. So don't fight it just let him know where he can and can't do this.

The less said the better...My son will be 4 in July and loves to "tickle". All I say, on the advice of our ped., is that he needs to "do that in private". Since he'd rather play with his sister than himself, lol, he chooses to resume play.
HTH-
J.

as a mother of 5 little boys, yes this is normal...some more than others but all seem to do it...it feels good. That being said don't make a huge deal about it, he may just be adjusting to his new found freedom...if he is doing it in public then tell him that those are private...it's never to early to have that dicussion...and go from there. I would just remind him to wash his hands because pee pee comes out of there...and that in itself may stop it...but it will stop and really is no big deal.

D.,

I can't help smiling at your "dilema". When children are potty trained they become familar with how things "work" It is perfectly natural for your son to be aware of his private parts. This is definitely more of an embarassment for you then for him. Explain to him that this is a private area and he should not exposed himself or "play" with himself in public. He is just facinated right now. It is harmless I'm sure. You will probably have to do this a hundren times but he will eventually grow out of it. However I am sure you have seen grown men do the same thing so as you can see some things don't change! :) Good luck
G.. L

hi,
it is very normal and my son has been doing that too. I just told him that these are his private parts and they can be only be touched in private - bathroom and bedroom.

TOTALLY normal!!! I have a 5 year old boy who started that around the same age as your son. It comes and goes. I did not want to condition my son to self conscious so I explained (continuously) that hands down the pants and the conversations that go with it are inappropriate in public or around other people. It is a stage, and very normal!

Alicia

Are you kidding me. Since my son "found" his at about 9 mos he's had his hands on it. We couldn't take off his diaper without him grabbing it. And honestly I don't think they ever outgrow it. I mean really grown men always grabbing it. I would just teach him that he can't grab it in public and leave it at that. Other then that I don't think you have much hope.

hello my son did the same thing and actually still does once in a while and he has been potty trained for 6 months. we just continue to ask him if he has to go potty this seems to stop him for the most part. I think it is because with underwear they have more sensation or it is a new feeling.

I would not make a big deal about it. Just tell him that some things we do in private and ask him to either stop or explore himself in private (in his room, the bathroom, etc.).

I was about to ask the same question. I have tried telling him that his "peepee" is not a toy but that doesn't work. Any ideas I would appreciate them as well.