Sister Problems

umm you are in a bit of a pickle here... It's definitely hard to NOT wanna speak up and tell your sister off... that would feel great wouldn't it? :) However... sigh... in the best interest of your daughter and lessons needing to perhaps be learned, you might have to try and take somewhat of a high road..
Brace yourself ahead of time knowing that your sister is full of herself on the one hand, but on the other.. when people have to brag so much or ALWAYS be right.. then don't you think they are probably a bit insecure. Deep down she must be, otherwise why blame everyone for everything.. As you say, you don't want to hurt your mother..but you could lay down a few ground rules with your sister. get tough. you may have to and say.. look we NEED to get along... and that perhaps she could not speak her mind so much if it might hurt another.... I am definitely one for being DIRECT... but I choose my battles (like on here for example :):) however, IF invited to another person's home, that is THEIR territory and one needs to be respectful.. in other words, your sister needs to respect OUR home.. that may take your reminding her of this..
I wish you the best..

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2 books to read/research online before making decisions with difficult people:
"Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
"Before You Do" by T.D. Jakes
Wishing you holidays filled with peace and joy :)

I have an Uncle that I cannot absolutely stand-he is selfish, he is a bully, and everyone knows it yet I am the only one to have stood up to him in the past .....but he is blood and I cannot cause "our" problems to effect everyone elses holiday or special event so I swallow my pride and just make the best of it. My uncle wants to pass judgement upon everyone else for what they do-yet he turns around and does exactly the same thing if not worse but its okay because HE does it....whatever he will get his one day I suppose.
Just try your very best to ignore the issues at hand. Invite your sister and if she starts in just turn around and walk away. I have found that if you don't respond and just walk away they usually shut the hell up.

If you are hosting Christmas for the extended family, I don't really see how you can be a gracious host and exclude a family member. Speak with her in advance about calling a truce for the holiday season for the benefit of the rest of the family. Rising above the drama sets a good example for your daughter, too.

Wow, are you sure your not related to me. This sounds just like my aunt and uncle. I totally understand. I have an aunt who it absolutly great, If you only deal with her on occasion, I have an uncle who after only 30 mins of listening to him makes me litterly shake. I know that NOT inviting her may seem like your getting out of it, but it will usually only cause things to get worse afterwards. I know that she may be your sister, but there are tons of people in this world just like that. My suggestion is PRAY that the Lord will let you find favor with you sister, your daughter will find favor with your neice. Try to come back with witty comments like, of course your right, your alway right aren't you, or just laugh it off when she gets like that, grow a thicker skin. I've heard people talk about the things that bother you the most are what you need to work on the most. Good luck, I'll be right there with you this Christmas. Just think about this, since she is your younger sister, she may have over the years developed a sence of insecurity that may have resolted of being jelous of you since you are older. Maybe she just needs to know that you love you.

I have a similar situation with my sister. Recently 'I' began planning a birthday party for my elderly Mom. 'I' was civil, and called her to see what or IF she would like to help with the party. OMG, world war III broke loose!! Long story short, I backed out & decided my elderly Mom didn't need the drama, and so I opted to take her out somewhere just the two of us instead. My point, if she bothers you that much, I wouldn't invite her. I would explain to your Mother, that her presence makes you stressed and tense, and the Holidays would be much more pleasant without her in your home. I realize your family, and that may sound cruel, but really, why put yourself through that? I would also have a talk to your sister before the holidays, and let her know how you feel & your decision of not inviting her. There are some people, whether family or not, that you can't reason with, get along with, and creating a tense environment due to this at the holidays is not fair to you, or anyone else coming to your home to enjoy your company. Good luck to you, believe me, I know this is a tough situation!