Needing Advide on Dealing with the TERRIBLE TWO'S.

Remember, this will pass. It's only a phase. My daughter used to throw herself on the ground and scream and cry and kick when I said no or she didn't get her way. The best way I found to deal with it was to ignore her completely. Do not give in. If she gets too worked up try to calm her down, but as long as she's not in any physical danger (i.e. falling down the stairs) just let her go. I think it has a lot to do with the frustration of not being able to fully communicate yet. Also, I would never give her anything she wanted when she whined. She had to calm herself down and ask in a normal voice. Sometimes I made it into a joke, I told her I couldn't hear when someone whined. Then when she whined, I'd say "Did you hear something? No, I guess not."

Good luck!

She needs to be taught that her behavior is absolutely unacceptable. The idea is not to simply get her to stop at that moment, but to train her not to start to begin with. What are her "hot buttons"? What are her favorite things to do/play with. When she throws a tantrum, find out what consequence has a painful enough effect on her to make her stop. The pain of the punishment must be greater then the pleasure of the offense. She must know YOU are the one in charge. There are a couple of good books, one called "Creative Corection" and the other is "Temper You Child's Tantrums". You might look into these. I've also heard, but not read, that the book "Making Your Child Mind Without Losing Yours" is good. Train her early and the teen years will be much smoother...I know, I have 3 kids...3, 5 and 14. My best to you, I hope this helps!

I have a 21 month old boy who does the same thing. I have not gone to playgroups because he is so whiny and screams when he doesn't get his way. If you find something that works, please email me at ____@____.com. I would love to know. I know what you are going through:)

What is the consequence when she does this? Carrying her around sounds like a reward not a consequence. Try reading Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. I like that book but there are lots of others out there too. You just need some tools that you can apply consistently. Those tools will empower you and make you AND your daughter happier. Good luck!

I recommend reading "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp and/or anything written by Dr. William Sears.

Hi! I am totally in your situation! My daughter started this about a month ago, too. I haven't read all the other posts, but I usually just ignore the behavior. Sometimes it works and sometimes not, but she can see that I will not give her what she wants because she is having a tantrum. I mean, if she is really upset, I don't leave her, but if it's one of the fits... Good luck!

This is a tough age, but hang in there because it gets better. I found with my son that I started to use the "time out" chair. He sat in it for 2 minutes at that age. Every time we were home and he did that, he sat in the time out chair. That helped for at home. If we were out, I would take him to the car and he had a time out there. If time outs don't work, you can try ignoring her. I had to do that with him (time outs work for so long, then I had to switch), and it worked well. Of course, this is hard to do when you are out in public. I would continue to go out, but I would limit my time out. If you are at a playgroup, pull her aside and do a time out on the stairs. Whatever you choose to do, the key is consistency. She will learn, but only if you do it every time she acts up. I wouldn't walk around with her, because that is rewarding her (I get mommy's attention and love if I scream and whine long enough). You need to sit her in time out. When her time is up, talk to her about why she was in the time out chair. Then, make sure you give her a hug and kiss and tell her you love her. There are days where she will be in the time out chair a lot, but she will learn. She will protest more at first, but you need to teach her that that behavior is unacceptable. Good luck!!!

I have two boys at home 3 and 2. So I know how you feel. They do that alot. my suggestion and what I do is change the subject. Ask them if they want to read a book or take a bath, if that does not work, you need to ge down to their level and explain why can not have it their way. If that doesnt work i just ignore it and they stop. The reason they whine is because they think its going to get them what they want. Hope that helps a little bit! Good luck!

My little 22 month old peanut is beginning to do this too. I found that ignoring her tantrums (as long as she was not in physical danger) works a lot. In public, I make sure I take her out during the good times of the day; not around naptime or near bedtime to reduce the chance of tantrums. If she does become irrate in public, I take her right to the car. If your little one understands time-outs, I would begin them, and be consistent, as the others described. But I do agree that carrying her around is just perpetuating her behavior.

Another question...is there a consistent routine you are following with her daily? Is she getting enough sleep at nighttime and at naptime? Lack of routine and lack of sleep can make a very, very cranky toddler. They thrive on routine. To get ideas of toddler routines, visit www.babycenter.com which has wonderful resources to read up on.

Good luck!

I try to get down to my two-year's level, and maybe hold his hands or shoulders and calmly talk to him. Eye contact is very important too. He's been a lot better!
Good luck in this trying time!

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Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to offer. I just started asking around for advice myself on the terrible twos also -- except my daughter is starting early. She's only 12 months, but her behavior is terrbile twos -- the crying, tantrums, body flop/limp body, etc. I have not yet read the two books suggested to me, but here are the titles. Positive Discipline: The First Three Years by Jane Nelsen and Raising Your High Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (because my daughter also has a strong willed personality). I'm going to order them today, follow instinct and factor in advice from all of you. Good luck!

My son is in the terrible two's as well and when he gets into the screaming/crying fest I make him make eye contact with me and talk calmly to him and I tell him to breath until he calms down. It has worked really well for me but I have done this with him before he could even understand what I was saying.