My Nephew

Updated on February 23, 2007
M.J. asks from Seattle, WA
4 answers

OK here it goes I am asking this more for my step mom and nephew rather than myself. Yesterday my stepmom came over and we started talking about my 14 yr old nephew. She told us that he has been seeing a Phychologist and a phychiatrist for an issue that emerged when he was 2 years old. When he was 2 he started waking up in a very violent mood I was living with my dad and step mom at the time and so was my nephew he would wake up screaming kicking and biting and it would take as long as an hour to calm him down. He is now 14 and when he gets mad he gets violently angry and blacks out from what my step mpm says he has called his mother nasty things has chased a kid with a baseball bat broken windows and does not remember any of it. He is currently on prescription drugs that turn him into a zombie because he is in a zombie like state all the time he is constantly sleeping and has gone from being a straight A student to an F student he no longer laughs or smiles which is really sad. I told my step mom to take him to a medical doctor to have a physical done because what sounds like is happening to him is that he is getting to much adrenililn which can cause black outs I am wondering if any one else has been in a situation like this with either your child or to a friend/ family members child and what was done.

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J.W.

answers from Bellingham on

I believe what you're asking is does anyone know anyone that has similar actions or responses?
If that is indeed the question, then yes. My brother was like that growing up. He has issues with holding his anger and if he got angry, he would black out. Not necessarily lose conciousness, but not remember his actions.
It took years of getting him to the doctors to finally see that he has a chemical imbalance of the brain... kind of like bi-polar disorder.
He is on medication for it now... but if the meds are making your nephew "zombie-like" then he needs to be re-evaluated and his meds adjusted.
Working with a doctor and trial and error seem to be the best that my brother could do, so not sure what other advice to give?

Hope this helps some!
J.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I worked with children with psychiatric disorders for several years (and then adults) and it sounds like he is being overmedicated. There are many many medications out there and sometimes one just has to try several before they find the one that fits. If the psychiatrist is not willing to try something new, or at least reduce his medication, then it is definitely time to find a new psychiatrist. It is not fair to your nephew to be a "zombie". He is missing out on life and will likely stop taking his meds at the first possible instance to avoid the "zombieness". Good luck to you and your family.
A.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

And the question is! :)

My daughter was like that. She came to live with me as a foster child when she was 7 and had good reason to be extremely angry. She was in therapy nearly all of the time. At that time they didn't give drugs to someone that young. When she reached her teen years they did start trying various drugs but none of them really seemed to help until she was an adult and diagnosed her as being bi-polar. Even then it takes close monitoring and changing her meds from time to time. She is now living a successful life with 2 children and her anger mostly under control. But she does still have difficulties and always will.

She has told me all along that she doesn't remember her extremely angry words and actions towards me. A therapist told me that is probably true. She doesn't black out. She blocks out the painful. What she has said and done does not fit with who she believes that she is. If she were to remember and admit to what she's done she would feel like she's such a bad person she doesn't deserve to live. I've seen that happen with her. The not remembering is a coping mechanism that allows her to live a somewhat normal life in between the rages.

If he's a zombie he may very well be overmedicated. At the same time it takes a few weeks for his body to adjust so that he isn't a zombie. It took a couple of years for my daughter and her doctor to find the right combination of drugs. And she did feel drugged out whenever she started a new one or a new combination.

I've never heard of too much adrenalin causing blackouts. What I've seen is rage that won't stop. Adrenalin gives us energy and keeps all of our systems working at peak power. Usually we do then become quite fatigued and need to sleep afterwards. I've seen adrenaline rages that were fed by drugs such as speed (amphetimines) Those are different and can end with what looks like a black out. What happens is that the body can no longer function at that level and organs stop working. This sometimes results in death. That does not sound like what is happening with your nephew.

Who is the adult responsible for your nephew? It sounds like neither you or your step-mom have talked with the psychiatrist. I would not recommend going to a different one until you have personally determined that the one he has is not appropriate. I can't emphasize enough that finding a treatment that works takes a long time, perhaps years if he is bi-polar. Even without being bi-polar it still takes a long time. Each brain chemistry is different and reacts differently to drugs.

And this is also a case in which too many cooks will spoil the broth. All of you who are involved with him need to be consistently doing the same thing. And I can tell you from experience gained with a lot of teens that there is nothing that you can tell him that will directly help him change. He needs reassurance that you love him no matter what he does. That you don't approve of some of his actions but that you do love him. Accepting him as he is is very difficult.

I agree that it may help to get him involved in some activities. I doubt that meditation will help. He has too much energy fueled by his anger for that. But any of the marshall arts could help him. I've read recommendations for participating in marshall arts to learn how to control anger. At first that seems wrong but when you think about it the marshall arts are very disciplined. And they allow you to act out your aggression in a way that does not hurt anyone.

Hang in there and be supportive of whomever is raising him. Ask questions. Do research. The psychiatrist or psychologist could recommend some reading. These will be tough years but he will grow up and with the right psychiatric care be OK.

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L.C.

answers from Portland on

I would suggest talking to his doctor about trying other medicines or if he is unwilling - find a new doc. It is taking the "easy" way out to numb him to the point of zombie-ness. Find someone who seems caring and is willing to listen and work with your family.

Also, I would suggest getting this child involved with some alternative activities. Many yoga studios and buddhist temples offer meditation workshops and things like that. These can be very beneficial for kids as well as adults. Maybe get him involved in some things that will help to center him. Cut out TV altogether if possible or at least to a minimal amount. Get him into stuff he enjoys whether it is sports, art, music, hiking, reading, or whatever! Just things that make him feel good about himself!

good luck!

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