My Feelings Are Hurt

stop having the neighborhood kids over .... the neighbors will notice and wonder why. and sometimes, it just isn't worth the battle. Or, you could nicely confront the lady and find out what gives. Maybe she thought you'd feel like you could join in without having to be specifically asked.

People are not obligated to have anyone to their house and they have the right to pick and choose who they will invite. Maybe you should extend an invite to everyone or all the SAHM's to your house instead of expecting them to invite you. That would be the right thing to do.

Kim,

Your message is somewhat confusing because you seem to be addressing two issues.

When a child is in my home and is doing something wrong or causing problems and the parent doesn’t correct the child, I will. If the child’s parent is not there and the child doesn’t listen to what I say, I send the child home. (Of course I would suggest calling the parent to let them know you are sending their child home or ask that they come a pick their child up). I would also remind you while you may think your children never cause any problems, that may not be the case.

As for the “hurt feelings”, if you have rolled out the welcome mat to your neighbors and they do not reciprocate, you need to dust yourself off and make some new friends. Don’t make your home so accessible to everyone, all the time.

Blessings.....

I guess I don't understand what your question is. You saw them go into their home with swim suits on? Or you saw one family go into the other neighbor's home with swim suits on? Either way, I'm still not sure why your feelings are hurt. Could you clarify the issue your having?

Let it go. Why do you care what she does? If you want to go to the pool with her, invite her. If you feel the need to be included in this group then be proactive and start being a friend to both these ladies.
I move a lot. Sometimes I make good friends on the block sometimes I dont'. If my kids arent' invited, or we aren't invited so what? We find our own fun.

Kim, are you saying that this one mom whose kids you've had over, had this one other boy and his family over, and you're hurt that they were invited and not you? If it's one family having another family over, I don't consider that a neighborhood get together, it's not a party. Your neighbor can have whomever she wants over and doesn't have to include you. It's her choice to have this boy over, regardless of her behavior. Maybe she will invite your kids another time. If you are constantly having her kids over and she never reciprocates, stop having them over, but if it's that she had this boy (and family) over one time without you, I don't feel that you have anything to be hurt over. She can socialize with whomever she wants, and her kids can too, even if you dont' approve or want to be included. Sorry.

Maybe they have known each other for a while or there is some history there. Are they part of a club together or a church group or even part of a sports team? My kids play with a lot of kids in the neighborhood and I open my house to all the kids too. I have never been invited to "grown up" parties at any of the houses and it doesn't bother me. The other families do things together but I have my own separate friends. Life is too short to worry about things like that. DO not punish the kids by not letting them come over. We our not always going to be friends with our kids' friends. I am just happy my kids have someone to play with.

Ask. Invite her for coffee, tea or whatever, go for a walk and talk about it. Bring it up in a gentle, inquisitive way without being accusatory. She may not even realize she's hurt your feelings.

The BEST thing to do is to be able to keep communication lines OPEN and not let her find out via another neighbor.

Maybe there was something going on you know nothing about. It sounds like 2 families, which is not the whole neighborhood.

I'm also a bit confused. Is this right?:

House A : Yours : 3 kids
House B : 3 kids
House C : 2 kids, one of them mean, parents don't supervise

You (house A) babysat/babysits for house B, and then house B invited house C over to swim?

Are you friends with these women? Your kids and their friends are not necessarily the same as your friends. I don't agree that you should not have the kids over. My guess is that you do that for your own children. Being the "fun" and "open" house will benefit your children in the end.

These women may not know you want to be part of their "group." Why not check it out. Invite THEM to your house for a cup of coffee and to chat while the kids play. See if you want to further a friendship. If it works out great. If not look for friends another way.

All the above said I do understand. I would probably have my feelings hurt too, but fight that "sensitive" feeling. These ladies may not even share your interests. Take a deep breath, and start over. If you see you really are being "left out" tell yourself what you would tell your own children......that if they aren't nice you don't need them anyway!

The first thing that popped into my head is for you to invite.everyone over to your house first(the mothers and kids) and see how that goes. Don't wait for their invitation. And then see if they start including you. If not, find other people to hang out with.

Updated

The first thing that popped into my head is for you to invite.everyone over to your house first(the mothers and kids) and see how that goes. Don't wait for their invitation. And then see if they start including you. If not, find other people to hang out with.