Make up Your mind....Please!

Hi W.,

I have a two year old. She try's to do this with me but I just do not allow it. She will ask for milk to drink and like you said in the next second ask for water. I simply look at her tell her she can have her milk or nothing at all. 90% of the time this works. She takes it and goes about her business. I also allow her each day to put her cups in yhe fridge. She has 3 in there one with milk, one with juice, one with water or kool-aide. This way when she gets thirsty she can go pick it out herself. Hope this helps

I have a three year old boy that is doing the exact same thing. I think it is because they like the idea that they are able to choose and make choices now. My son will tell me he wants something to drink and then when I ask him what he wants, he'll say milk then when I get the milk out he says water so I just finally say firmly, "Do you want milk or water?" Which ever he says, that's what I give to him and if he doesn't want it then I tell him that mommy can put it in the fridge for later and then 15 minutes later, he's ready to drink that milk with no qualms. Hope this helps. Good luck.

My 3 1/2 daughter does the same thing as you are describing. The way that I do it is that I will put something out for her to drink and eat on the table when she does this, and then she has the option to eat and drink when she wants. I put something out that she likes and that I know that it will not go bad within an hour. If she does not eat it within and hour I throw it out and tell her that she can not have anything right now because I just threw food away because she did not eat it. If she is still persistant that she is hungry I tell her that she has to sit at the table and tell me what she wants and once I get it then she has to sit at the table and eat it and she will not get off the table until she eats some of it.

Three year olds like control. He just likes to see what he can make you do.

Hun, I feel for you. My daughter is doing the same thing. It drives me crazy. She'll say "Mommy, I SSOO hungry." So I'll make her something, and she won't eat. Or like you said, bed time, drink, toys, whatever.... it's the same thing. Now she started "But but but I really need to." Yeah, after a while of them changing thier minds... I gets old real quick. I really believe it is now, cause and effect. Kids learn the true extent at all ages but its the full meaning of... well if I say I'm hungry I get food... and if I say I am tierd we go to sleep. But then, they truly at some points just don't know what they want and trust me its hard to stay patient after the fifth time of something else they wanted but didn't. If you get any real good advice... send some my way cause I am there with you. Take care hun,
K.

All I can say is welcome to toddlerhood. They express their right to change their mind more than a woman...lol. Meal times and snack times should be at the same time every day. Your kitchen is for preparing scheduled meals and snacks, and is not buger king...they don't get to have it their way, because you are not a short order cook. They can eat what you set infront of them when you set it infront of them or they can go hungry. After getting in this routine it should cut down on their demands and mind changes...but you have to be consistant with it. After all, the daycares and schools won't play that game with them either.

They are just so indecisive sometimes, aren't they! My son went through a similar phase, and it drives you absolutely bonkers, I know!
You know kids brains (everyone's for that matter)are constantly growing, and psyhcologists say the reasoning and logic parts of them are not fully developed until into the teens. He doesn't know what he wants. And a lot of times at this age he could want something totally different besides food and just not be able to verbalize it. Also consider he is only three and this Santa thing, not really a "new" experience but sort of a new experience, is not something at his age they can really wrap their heads around!
Then too, my son is almost 5 and he does this thing lately where he says "I can't do that, yes I can" all in the same breath. He's a goober...maybe we have goober children? so most of the time when mine starts in on "I want this, no I don't" or the "I can't do that, yes I can" I pretty much ignore it. He'll make up his mind eventually and if he doesn't usually he's just talking to himself anyway!

Ugh, my son does this too...especially when he is tired....
He will do that about everything (santa too) and usually does it JUST to see what I will do, if I will get angry or get upset with him. What nip it in the bud, is that I went with what he says the first time, usually the negative one (I don't want to play with you) so I will stick to it, say nope, you told me that you don't want to play with me, and that is what is going to happen. He will get upset that he said it. When he calms down, I then talk to him about the power of his words. How he needs to think about what he says. And how saying something good after you say something bad doesn't always make the bad feel better. It would just be better if we never said the bad at all...
He has gotten really better, but regresses when it is time for bed.

Good luck, my son is almost 5, so he has a little bit of age on your kiddo!

Happy holidays!

W.:

After having 5 kids with my youngest now being 5 I know how you feel. I went through this 5 times. Sometimes I think they don't know what they want and other times I think they are trying to test us. Hang in there it does get better. I know that probably doesn't help much but its all I can offer. Merry Christmas