Loosing It!!

Updated on September 01, 2007
M.M. asks from Racine, WI
4 answers

I feel like i'm kinda loosing it here. I really love being a mother but i have to say that my patients are being tested. My little girl has never learned to crawl she's almost 11 months old and dont think she will crawl. She wants to walk all over the place which she cant do on her own yet so it's mom or dad or anyone who is around that helps her do that. She cant really get around on her own at all except for scooching around a couple inches by herself. She is also very much mommas little girl so actually dad isnt really "good enough" when mom is around which puts a strain on both him and me. I cant really do anything that i need or want to do. Just sitting here in front of the computer for a minute to check my mail is according to her not allowed. She just cries and screams. I do allow her to get upset it's not that it's just very stressing when i cant do anything without her screaming and crying. She is also going through this stage where she wont admit that she's tired. She will rub her eyes and yawn and be very whiny due to tiredness but the moment i try to calm her down and get her to sleep she will fight me all the way. When i do finally get her to sleep i bring her to her bed and the moment her head touches the pillow she wakes up and starts to scream when i walk out of the room. Now she has learned to sit and stand up in the crib so she will not calm down on her own and eventually fall asleep anymore. In the last week and a half she has only been taking very short naps only once a day which i dont think is enough, like i said she's been very sleepy and whiny.

I dont know what i'm looking for, some sort of magical answer to make things all better, some words or encouragement, some I've been there befores, some it will get betters, i dont know just something to help me through this stage.

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P.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

M.,
I know how you feel 100%!!! Ive been there with both of my older children and Im sure that within the next year I will be there again!!! The first thing I would like to say is that it will get better!!! Some things that worked for both of my older kids was when it was nap and/or bed time, I would pick them up, put their head on my shoulder, even if I had to hold it there, and carry them to bed while rubbing or scratching their backs and singing 'its ni-nite time, its ni-nite time, ni-nite time is here' and repeating untill I was laying them in their crib. As I layed them down I always told them I loved them and would see them as soon as they woke up, then I turned on a CD (usually Kenny Loggins, Return to Pooh Corner, its an awesome lullaby CD.) They of course cried for a little while, but I would turn the music up just loud enought that if I could hear them, it would at least drown them out enough that I could focus on something other then those screams.
My daughter also skipped crawling and my son did an army crawl, never a reg. one. One thing that you may want to try as far as getting a break from being her 'crutch' when she is walking is give her a smooth bottom launry basket to slide along while she walks...its also a fun way for her to move her toys about. You may have to show her a few times how to move the basket without tipping it over, but I found in the end it was well worth it!!!
Another thing they enjoyed was sitting in their high chair and playing with blocks or coloring while I was able to accomplish some of things that I needed to get done. I would also keep reassuring them that Mommy had to get this done and when shes done, she will be able to play with you (that is a reassurance that you can establish with her now and will help for a long time, even at 5 & 7 yrs old.)
I really hope that some of this may be useful to you. I also hope that you are able to get a little time for yourself as the other people have said, you need that time for you too!!!
If you want to chat ever, feel free to email me!!!
P.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

You poor thing. My son was the same way off and on. I was never one to let him "cry it out" as it just drove me nuts listening to him scream. Perhaps she isn't feeling good? I know that once when Zach was particularly whiny and clingy, I called my sister as I was truly at my wits end and she said to take him to the doctor as he may have an ear infection. I seriously thought she was nuts as he wasn't pulling at his ears and he wasn't running a fever but I took him in and he had an ear infection. Not a very bad one but enough to make him unhappy.

Zach also never crawled. He used to do a bootie scoot thing but he went straight to walking.

Get some alone time! Even though she may prefer Mommy to Daddy, she will make do if you are out of site.

Good luck, best wishes and hang in there :)

T

1 mom found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Milwaukee on

I've been there before, especially the night time. My son would never just go to sleep and i would pick him up and bring him in bed with me. Finally i got sick of it and started to let him scream it out. It took about 2 weeks before he finally started to do good and it took all my will power not to go get him. If she can climb out of her crib just pick her up and put her back in bed and walk away as many times as needed, she will fall asleep sooner or later. Expect some late nights. It will be worth it. It will work but you just have to stick to you guns and give it time. As for during the day, take her to the doctor, if nothing is wrong you should try just letting her cry, she will learn that you can't spend every second of everyday playing with her. I know it sounds harsh but hang in there, i hope it gets better.

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S.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Maria,
I can relate to feeling like everything isn't working the way it should. I don't think your child won't ever start walking it sounds like she is trying to find her boundaries and yours and then push them. My daughter try the same thing with naps and I had to try something so I was recommended the Dr. Ferber method (crying it out) it worked for us but isn't always easy for some. My sister in law used a no crying sleep book for her son. Just realize that she will get it and the crying and screaming is her way of controlling you. If your husband is at home for the evening try switching roles for the night. That way you will get to check your email or something. Leave the house for a little while that way your husband and your daughter have to "figure it out" together. It will be rough but you sound like you need some time 2 yourself. My sister in law is a stay at home mom and she said that worked for her. Her son was being coming a momma's boy and her husband felt left out.
When you go back to nursing I can definately relate there. I work fulltime as a RN and just the schooling is very demanding.
Hang tough you can do it.
S.

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