My Daughter Will Not Sleep in the Crib

Hi,
We have all been there, so don't sweat it. Try looking up the Amby Baby Sleep hammock. I bought this for my third son instead of a bassinet and it gently rocks him back to sleep when he wakes. I found it on the net. It's a little expensive, so if you don't want to spend that much, another swing should do the trick. You'll need it anyway!

Good luck,
S.

I can sympathize. I am a mom of two and have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. While I was pregnant with my son I was in and out of the hospital, and my husband found it easier to have my daughter sleep with him. Now my son sleeps in his own bed all night and my daughter finds her way to my bed in the middle of the night. If you can break the habit now, do it. I totally understand it breaks my heart to let them cry, but in the long run it is best for you and her.

I know this is not the best advice, but I had the same trouble as you with both my girls. My first daughter slept in her swing till she was 7 months old. My second daughter also slept in her swing, and I tried to convert her to her crib earlier and nothing would work. She liked the rocking motion and she would sleep almost all night. I finally just let her sleep in her swing, and as she got bigger 7/8 months, it was not a problem to get her into her crib. She too used a pacifier, so that helped as far as her soothing herself back to sleep. We also used the Baby Einstein movies to help her fall asleep. She loved the music. We would bath her and then put her in her crib, and put that movie on, and she knew that meant bedtime. Whatever you decide, just be consistant. But in my personal opinion, I don't think allowing her to sleep in the swing is a bad thing. Good Luck, and let us know how it works out!!

hello,

I am somewhat in your boat. My 5wwek old son sleeps in the papasan chair, sometime the swing, and rarely in the bassinet. When i am so tired and can't stand it i put him in bedwith us. I think i made the mistake of getting him used to falling asleep on my chest or just in my arms b/c as soon as I lay him down he crys and i am with you I can't stand to hear him cry...

Hi T.,
O,K, Get the new swing. But only let her sleep in until she is 8 months old. Then you must let her cry it out. The sleeping in bed I cant say anything cause my son slept with me when I couldn't take the crying or was to tired. But by 6 months I let him cry it out and it worked..

I hope I hepled
N.

Hi, i had a similar problem. When i had my daughter, i had a c-section, and my husband didn't hear her crying at night, he just slept though it, so to avoid even more pain, i put her next to me in bed...but i was lucky enough to have 2 queen size beds next to eachother (we were given a newer bed and my husband was afraid i'd break my water in bed so he insisted that i kept mine until i had her...she's 1 and we STILL have both!) Anyway...once i was able to get up without a problem, i started having anxiety of putting her in the crib, so she stayed with me until she was about 5 months old. The only reason i started putting her in bed is because she started crawling and actually crawled to the edge of the bed while i was sleeping, and fell off! once that happened and i put her in the crib, she just didn't want to be there. it took us almost 2 months to get her to stay in the crib. we started with rocking her to sleep, then once i realized that she would just wake up once i put her in the crib (no matter how long i held her in my arms to make sure she was definitely asleep) i decided to sit with her and rub her head and back until she'd fall asleep in the crib. this went on for a couple of weeks until it got to be too much on me (it would take almost an hr to get her to sleep that way). once that happened we decided to let her just cry herself to sleep. this was very hard on us, but once we did it, it only took us a lil more then 1 week to have her going to bed and only whining for 5-10 min until she was asleep. after that torture of just letting her cry...she just went to sleep on her own. it was great! at the moment we're going through this all over again because she is just getting over being sick, and now no longer wants to go to sleep...many people have told me to just stick to it again. i would suggest to just let her scream it out. if you just stick to that, it will be much easier on you in the long-run! don't make my mistake and keep her in bed with you until she falls out. i just started putting on a lullaby cd for her to go to sleep with, since you used the rain cd to put her to sleep, just try that. maybe it will work for you. i know how hard it is to let her scream, it feels like your a bad mommy. but as i'm learning through trial and error and much advise from others, it just HAS to be done. plus, remember, it's much harder on you to hear her screaming then for her to just cry herself to sleep, and you're doing it for her own safety. and the sooner you do, the sooner the problem will be over-with. sorry this was so long, but it did take me many different tries. i hope it works out for you, and i hope it's quick! good luck!

hi,
I dont think you have anything to worry about children usually dont sleep through the night at 4 months old. I have a son who is now three and he was a good sleeper as a baby he actually started sleeping through the night at 4 months but i also have a daughter and she is now 19months. she only started sleeping through the night in her own crib at 6 months. I had a hard time with her and i had her sleeping with me when she would wake up in the middle of the night. I work full time and needed my sleep. also at 4 months you cant spoil them yet they need your attention so it's ok to pick her up when she crys it's too early to do the 10 minute rule. dont worry your not doing anything wrong. you need to do what is also best for you and your well being so you can take care of your daughter.

A little about me:
34 year old mom of 3 year old boy and 19 months old daughter.

I had some similar problems with my daughter and she now, mostly sleeps in her crib, though it was tough getting her there. She had colic AND acid reflux sso she slept on a bobby like pillow that had a wedge in the center. for a long time the only way she would sleep was in our bed, we then moved her to a swing similar to what you have...from there we moved her to the crib WITH the pillow... it would physicaly hurt her to sleep flat on her back. she's now 7 months ans and just started sleeping without the pillow about 6 weeks ago. you may want to ask the doctor about reflux...if she's waking up after only a few minutes it's possible that laying flat is agrivating it. The swing is also at an incline and therefor halps with the reflux. I hope this helps a little.
-N.

My son is 9 months old and he just started sleeping through the night recently and i felt i did everything right. i never rocked him to sleep, i made him sleep in the bassinet and then the crib. but when he hit 4 months he stopped sleeping through the night and was waking up 4 or 5 times. here is what i did: first i didnt let him nap after 4 pm. i would give him a bath at 7:30 and by 8 i would feed him a bottle until he feel asleep and then i put him in the crib. depending on when he woke up i would either give him a pacifer and put on some music or prop up a bottle with a blanket and let him feed himself to sleep. i never picked him up again once i put him the the crib for the night. your baby may be going through a growth spurt as well as getting used to the crib.

my own major piece of advice is whatever you decided to do, you have to be consistent. i would get away from the swing and the bed. (and ill admit i used the bed on the worst nights where i just wanted to sleep). but your baby wont sleep better until a good routine is set and stuck to. good luck!

My son was like this when he was first born. He wouldn't sleep at night unless he was sleeping touching me. Do you have a pack and play? If so set it up in your room. This method may take a couple weeks but it worked for me. Again set up the pack and play in your room next to your side of the bed. Once she is asleep, very gently move her to the pack and play. If she wakes up move her back to your bed. Keep trying this night after night until she stays asleep in the pack and play. Then you can just put her right in the pack and play for a little while. Then start the same process over again, but this time its the pack and play to her crib. You may also want to stop rocking her to sleep or this is going to become part of her permanent bed time route and it will be harder to break in the long run. She needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. I would keep the rain noise thing close by. It's something she's use to and it's soothing to her. She needs to learn to be comfortable by herself and that you will still be there. This is why the steps works. My son is a great sleeper and he goes to bed so easy every night. She just needs to learn to be comfortable. Do it in stages.

Hi T.,

I experienced a similar situation when my daughter was born. She HATED sleeping on her back and all that I read had me terrifed to put her down on her belly. She spent a few months sleeping slumped in her bouncy seat as that was the only way any of us got any sleep. I think it was around 4 1/2 months that we finally transitioned her successfully to her crib. Find the solution that feels right for your family. Just know that the first 6-7 months can be challenging but babies pass through stages very quickly. Just remember, this too shall pass...it is a great new mom motto.
My daughter is now 15 months old and in spite of sleeping in a bouncy for months she has a perfectly straight back and can walk upright without a problem :)
A little about me...I am 36 - a first time mom - totally in love with my daughter. I am a benefits manager for an multi-national company based in NJ.

Good luck!

Hey, T.!

I would try a bassinet instead of the crib. Only because babies this young are so used to be so enclosed, like in the womb. The crib is like a giant oasis and she feels insecure.

My son would scream when he was that young when I'd put him in his crib. Someone told me about the bassinet/womb thing. Makes sense I guess.

She does need to learn how to soothe herself and get herself to sleep but, whenever you decide to let her figure that out for herself is up to you. I believe its never to early but, its niether wrong nor right.

Right now, do what you gotta do to get some sleep. But, I highly suggest not putting her in the bed. Accidents happen and you definately want to nip that whole kid sleeps in the bed thing right away. She's also never to young to understand she has her own bed and you and daddy have yours. Don't do that to yourself and your relationship.

I have a dear friend who's son is 3 now and still sleeps in her bed, the Dad on the couch. Ridiculous!!! But, it is very easy to fall in that trap. With the babies crying hysterically and all. Don't forget, that is their form of communication. All she can do is cry hysterically but she could just be trying to say "I'm having a tough time getting myself to sleep." What would you do for her if she said that to you rather than crying so hard?

Giving her something that smells like you might help.

Good luck!

I just recently switched the sheets in her crib to valor sheets, they are much more comfortable to sleep on then the cold cotton sheets. It might help.....LOL my daughter is 10 months and still doesn't sleep through the night, but she does seem to like these better.

Hi T., I had a similar problem. My son is now 2 1/2 and he sleeps with my husband and me on our bed. He use to wake up every hour. When he was your daughter's age my mother showed me a method that works. During the day, put on a t-shirt. At night when you put her to bed, take off your shirt so that she can "smell" you. You can also put your boyfriends "worn" shirt next to her so that she thinks she is laying in the middle of the bed with the 2 of you. My son does not want his crib and although he is older, he still wakes up in the middle of the night once or twice for his milk. I wish my husband would put him in his crib but now my son is use to our bed and he will go to our bed when he is tired to go to sleep.

I also read that it takes them 20 minutes to get to a "full" sleep. So once she falls asleep just hold her for a bit longer. I had to do this with my son. He would wake up as soon as I put him in the crib too.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Hi T.! I can definitely relate to what your going through. My daughter is now 16 months old and has an established routine for going to bed. It sounds a little cheesy but I got a lot of advice from a book and it reinforced what other mothers told me. It is called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. This guy knows his stuff and you don't even have to read the whole book because he has summaries. He covers sleep routines from birth through adolesence. My routine for my daughter that I have used for the last 8 months is bath, lotion, pijamas, read "Good Night Elmo", and go around the house saying nite nite to all of the lights and tvs as we turn them off. the last one is the one in her room. She gives her dad a kiss and then me. we turn on her lullaby cd and I put her in the crib. She still uses a bottle and I knw they say not to put them to bed with it, but I give it to her just until she sleeps. I stroke her hair for a few minutes so she can relax and she stays down for the night. It sounds long but if you get in the routine and don't stray from it it does work. The first few nights will be hell but you have to stick with it. good luck!

Hi T., I don't think that 4 months is a good time to go cold turkey, my suggestion is buy another swing (especially if you use it for more the just sleeptime) and wean her from there. This way the two of you get time to adjust to the change. Try turning the swing off sometime after she falls a sleep, then once she is used to that try turning off the tape after she falls asleep. Once she gets used to the swing not moving, then try to move her into the crib once she falls asleep in the swing, You literally need to take baby steps here. Make the transition over weeks - instead of overnight. Good Luck and I hope you get some rest soon.

I know this is terrible advice, but have you tried putting her down on her tummy? My daughter has been sleeping on her tummy since the night she came home from the hospital. She tucks her arms and legs underneath her and sleeps from 9:30pm - 7:30am. (most night) She is 7 1/2 months old now. If I try to put her on her back, she wakes up after a few minutes.
I think of it as the way she was in the womb. All tucked in tight and cozy. When they are on their backs their arms and legs are flailing around, it must feel very insecure for them. (she always hated being swaddled, that never worked for her)
If you dont smoke, and are breastfeeding, the risk of SIDS drops dramatically. Even for tummy sleepers. You may want to give it a try.
I wouldnt buy another swing. You might as well fix this now while she is still little. The longer you wait the harder it will be. Keep us posted! :)

T.:

I feel your pain. My son was a terrible sleeper and he was like baby boot camp! I now have a 16 mth old daughter and am applying what I learned.

First, is she sick at all. An ear infection will wake her up when you put her down. My daughter has them a lot unfortunately.

Second, if she is not sick, you have to take a deep breath and begin your mommy job. For her sake and yours. She needs good sleep habits to develop and fight sickness....you need your sanity. I have found that a habit takes about 3 nights to break but only one night to start. They a very smart even at an early age.

Rock her 90% asleep and put her down and pat her back the rest of the way. Leave. When she cries, WAIT 5 minutes before going to her. DON'T PICK HER UP. Pat her back until she calms down and then leave. Extend the time between going into the room to comfort her. She will learn to comfort herself and put herself to sleep. IT will probably take 3 nights. Each night will get easier. Do the same thing at naptime. The key is consistency.

Also, the Dr. Harvey Karp DVD is a GREAT help.

GOd bless and good luck.. Repeat after me....this too shall pass!
B.

T., my son was the same way we were so confused and he cried constantly. We tried different things as well. He slept in his swing in his co-sleeper (basinette) he slept on me as I slept sitting down through the night. My husband started bringing him into our bed. To this day I think he had the best idea, it worked. At eight months we moved him to his crib where he sleeps 10 hours every night (he is now 14 months). I think maybe your baby needs more time with you at night, there is no such thing as "spoiling" your baby. Don't let others tell you so. Crying it out is harmful to a baby. Good luck, better times are coming. Sleep well.

Hey T.. Stick it out! It will be tough but well worth it in the end. My girlfriend had a similar situation and now her daughter is 14 months and still sleeping in bed with them and they are expecting their second child in may. Now, she finally understands why I kept telling her to work at putting the baby in the crib. They are having a terrible time. A week or two of no sleep now, is going to be easier in the long run than coaxing a toddler to change her routine and sleep in a strange place. Get her familiar with her crib. Put her in there when she is getting sleepy like at nap time and sit with her and read her a story till she falls asleep. Babys like a routine and right now her routine is different but babys are also adaptable and she'll soon understand that things change. You'll just have to have patience and know in your heart it does get better. Hope this helps!
K.

Ahhh, the never ending debate. First i agree, she's only 4 months DON'T let her cry it out. They need to feel and know you right now. Now all i am going to do is tell you my expierences....My sons (now 13&11) both went to bed very well, i had a routine and they did well. As infants they were both in my bed, as toddlers they slept till 2:00 then came in my bed. So even with routines they came in. My third son (now 9) went to bed at 8:00 no trouble slept through the night never came in my bed or even my room. I can tell you that at 13,11, and 9, my boys do not come into bed with me. I can tell you unless they have a nightmare they sleep all night in their own bed and if they DO come in, they often just curl up on the floor next to my bed. Now.....my daughter. She's going to be one next week. I am older now (39). I have a harder time dealing with lack of sleep. Yet, i have no idea what i plan on doing with her. I lay in bed with her. She falls asleep, she doesn't always sleep through the night but most nights she does. When she was an infant she slept through the night....It's just so hard to say. You have to do what YOU think is best for you and your baby. If your getting sleep because she's in the bed and your ok with that, don't feel guilty sleep, both of you. If you think it's the swing and you can get another one do it. There are so many remedies, try one at a time and see what's best. I totally agree if you need to, nip in the bud. Don't let it get out of hand. I learned that for sure. :-)

T.,

Please don't let your daughter just cry it out at 4 months. It's cruel. It's only between the 4th and 6th month that babies have sufficient neurological development to be capable of calming themselves down once they get upset. Before that, they can't do it, and just stop crying when they exhaust themselves. There's no positive lesson in that. All she learns is that she's on her own, and nobody's coming to help.

Whether you elect to rock her to sleep or not is your decision. I'm a rocker myself, even though I know everyone tells you to put babies down awake. Too bad. I like to rock, he likes to rock.

I wouldn't go back to the swing. You're going to have to do this eventually, and it's probaby going to be harder in a few months, when she's even more set in her habits.

As for co-sleeping, again, your choice. If it's not for you, then don't do it. We let our son sleep in our bed when he woke in the middle of the night as a baby, and never had any trouble with it. He gradually woke fewer and fewer nights, until it just never happened any more. Or almost never. I'll still cuddle him in if he has a bad dream, but we're talking less than once a month. But this has to be something you are comfortable and content doing. Lots of kids get real used to being in there, and then you've got a real habit to break.

If your goal is to get her to sleep in her crib, and to get her to stay there, here are some of the things that helped us out:

Music. We played Baby Mozart's Lullabye Classics on continuous loop for about 6 months. It got kind of nice to listen to coming through the monitor after a while, to be honest.

Pacifier. I used to nurse to sleep, and then put him down. As soon as I laid him down, I'd pop that binky in his mouth. We never used it outside of the crib, and he was never awake when I put it in. Then, if he woke in the middle of the night, I could usually get him to go back to sleep by putting the thing back in his mouth and patting his back a few times. He gave it up on his own between 7 and 8 months, and boy, was I bummed!

Aquarium soother. This thing is a life saver in about a month or two. When she can hit the button and start the music and lights herself, this is great. The lights are comforting to them, and the combination of lullabyes and watching the lights knocks them right back out. I loved this toy. Every so often I'd hear it go on in the middle of the night, and just grin.

Do you have a pack & Play? The bassinet feature might work better for her right now than a full size crib. She may not be comfortable laying exposed in such a vast, open space. The bassinet in the pack & play is smaller, and with the canopy, feels more sheltered. It may help. Also, if you have the kind I do, it's got a little console on the side that plays music, white noise, lights, and even has a little vibrate setting that babies seem to like. I don't get that part, but I ask no questions if they sleep...

Really, it's all trial and error. Some of these ideas may help your little girl, and some may totally freak her out. These are what worked for us. Good luck!

Jess

T.,

There is no "right". I appreciate your concern and your desire to get it "right", but every child is deifferent, and every parent is different. You have to do what FEELS right - for your baby, AND for YOU! There seem to be as many books on sleeping as there are kids these days. And, they ALL work for SOME child. So, what does that tell you? I say, TRUST YOUR GUT! You're the mommy, and you know best, if you reallt listen to what your gut is telling you. It won't hurt your baby if she cries it out, it won't hurt your baby if she sleeps in your bed, it won't hurt your baby if she sleeps in a swing... (Although it may make things harder for YOU later to retrain her to sleep in her crib if you don't start soon - it won't bother HER at all long term... this too shall pass). At 4 months old I wasn't comfortable letting my son cry it out, and even at 11 months old, it depends on WHY he's crying. I would recoommend trying to put your baby in the crib at nap times - DROUSY not sleeping, and try letting her cry a little - she may surprise you and fall asleep, but I would stick to your GUT INSTINCT about night time - at least until you feel she's comfortable. I hope this helps. Good luck, and sweet dreams!

I had a similar problem with my daughter (now 16 months). We started letting her sleep in her infant car seat so we could move her around the house when we first came home. And she could not sleep flat until she was about your daughter's age. Our pediatrician told us his own kid slept in the swing only! So don't beat yourself up. He told us that at about 4 months, the baby starts getting stronger and more mobile, so the crib really is the only safe place for them to sleep. Easier said than done. I think it took us a couple of weeks. I agree that 4 months is way too young to let her cry. What worked for us was the pick up/put down method, from the Baby Whisperer book. It took a lot of patience and some sleepless nights, but it worked. You just really have to stick with it. Good luck!

Hi T.,

I see you have gotten a lot of responses, but I haven't read all of them. You may have already got good advice on your problem, but I thought I would share my advice. My son is 3 months old and has the same type of swing as your daughter. (probably the same one, papasan, with little birdies and stuff that spin around and different music and sounds?) well, he has been sleeping in there pretty much since birth and for the last week or two i have had him sleeping in his crib. he woke up all the time at first, like your saying about your daughter. now, i let him fall asleep in the swing and once he is out cold, i put him in his crib. if he wakes up a little I turn on his mobile and sit in the room for a few minutes until he goes back. this seems to be working. the first two nights i stayed in his room in a chair and now i sleep in my own bed. he usually doesn't even know i've moved him from the swing to the crib. i know you said your swing broke, does it have new batteries? ours was dying on us like every week, until finally i put in good energizer batteries and now it's working again. also, sometimes it seems i have to give it a manual push and then it starts swinging. sorry so long, but just wanted to share and try to help!

I had the same problem. She is #2 and was colic. We let her sleep anywhere she would not complain. Swing was the most place she would get consistant sleep.
I went to the Doctor at the 4 month checkup and asked how to reverse the bad habits that I started.
He said let her cry it out.
And the hardest thing i had to do was to let her cry it out. But it took it 2 nights to break her of that bad habit, but she is sleeping in her crib the night through now. And gave me no problems after the first 2 days.

Good luck

I'm not sure that I have any advice for you, but I had to write to let you know that you aren't alone. I have to tell you, my daughter wasn't a sleeper either. I didn't know what to do and to this day (she's 23 months), I still hold my breathe when I put her down. Unfortunately, crying it out, was not an option for me. I felt horrible. When she would cry, I would pick her up and fall asleep with her nursing in the rocker. Eventually, I would be able to put her down. There really isn't an easy answer to this one. All I can tell you is, don't bring her to bed with you. This was a rule in my house because I know that it's a hard habit to break. Of course there will be some that disagree with me and will say it's OK. It's all personal choice but I have friends that have kids in their bed and they are older now. It's definately your decision. Good luck and be patient. Things will work out.

Hi, This is S.. I'm 24 also. The best advice I can give is do what you feel is best. I started the bed routine wrong also. I always rocked by daughter to sleep and then put her to sleep. She is now 15 months old and she has to be in bed with me first to fall asleep. So, I put her in bed with me she falls asleep then hours later she wakes up in her crib wanting to come back to bed with me. I have been getting frustrated and been letting her cry but that can only go on for so long. You will find the solution to what ever fits you. I honestly think you should not get a swing and just try over and over again to put her down in the crib. I used to rock my daughter to sleep and put her down in her crib all night. Yeah it caused me to have no sleep but she got used to it up until recently...Good luck