Insecure Daughter

Read "Captivating" with her by John and Staci Elderidge. I believe every woman should read that book!

Okay. Couple of questions to ask yourself: (I mean no offense) Are you a strong and independent woman? Is her father in her life? Was she ever abused? The desperation of her wanting the relationship with the boy so bad leads me to believe there is not a permanent father fixture in her life..Girls typically get self esteem from dad. They get how to handle boyfriends and social situations from mom. So to me it sounds like a two fold problem. For your part lead by example. I'm not sure reading a book is going to unlearn this..like any habit it takes time to break. I encourage my kid's to deal with conflict head on. Not on myspace or facebook or texting..to actually talk to the person. I have never taught my children they had to respect someone simply because. They have the power to stand up for themselves (they know it) and I will stand behind them. I may not agree with the situation but I don't express that until we are alone...not in front of the parties involved. We actually practice saying "No" to people who want to much of our time or is too demanding.
Send her up to people at the mall that she doesn't know (of course you're there!) and have her ask for the time..or directions to a store..if she likes something on someone she doesn't know ask her give that person a compliment.
One of the craziest things I have ever seen?? My niece who was adopted from an abusive home life was the most timid insecure person I had ever met. She went to stay with my mom and step dad and they are gun owners. My sister called me hysterical saying grandpa was going to take her to the gun range and teach her to shoot. She was roughly 15. Every time I go visit my parents I go to the gun range and so does my oldest daughter. Anyway I told my sister "Let her go, there is nothing more empowering than knowing how to properly handle a weapon". My sister called a couple of days later and was shocked that my niece loved it and was very good at it! She did have a little more confidence, it wasn't a cure all but I think it was the beginning. I am not suggesting turning your daughter loose on the streets with a hand gun. Doesn't even need to be guns something that takes guts to do. Rock climbing, white water rafting, horseback riding. If she can overcome her fear to do something like this she will realize she is a strong woman and even if afraid she can do it! Hope this helps! P.S. very concerned about the boyfriend thing when girls are that desperate they tend to attract potentially abusive boyfriends.

10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Laura Schlessinger

Sign her up for something- dance class, piano lessons, karate, ANYTHING to get her mind and body away from her boyfriend. I'm sure he's a perfectly fine young man, but every bit of her is consumed with him. She needs to put her focus on something else, even if it's running the spotlight at the local community theater.

You have had some great advice so far! A book you may want to get & go through with her is "Lies Young Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She also has one for older women titled "Lies Women Believe." They are great books & I actually read the one for older women myself & then bought & went through the one for young women with my nieces. It's great that her dad is such a support for her - that will make a difference.
On a side note: I know our family may very well be in the minority on this but we are against casual dating for teens. As a very dear friend put it, "dating is a precorser (sp?) to divorcing." All we are teaching our children is that when they get tired of someone they can just break up with them. Even as young as our kids are, we stop the "cute" little comments about them having boy/girl friends. My standard reply (said nicely) is that when they are old enough to take on the responsibility of a husband/wife then they are ready to have boy/girl friends. :-)
Many blessings!

A good book is Leaving the enchanted forest. You may want to read it first but it really helped me.

Hi there, I know this may seem off track. But my daughter has had similar problems and what has helped greatly has been that I have been spending more time with her. The more I bond with her the less she tries to hold on to (too tightly) her "friend" that is always ditching her.

The more secure she feels in our relationship and the more extra things we do together the better she gets. I guess it's like this..the more secure she feels at home makes her less likely to seek that security from others.

She was hanging on boys quite literally because (if you've heard of the 5 love languages) her love language is touch. And she wasn't getting enough from us at home. Now we read side by side scrunched into our little couch every night. I give her more hugs more often and that seems to be enough.

She's let go of the boy and stopped clinging so tightly to that girl and has just this week started to make other friends. It worked for me.

I have a 12 and 14 year old and have said repeatedly you do not need a man in you life right now except for Daddy. My husband is a very big part of the girls' lives. The best way to buikd security is to have the only man in her life start being more attentive, that man needs to be Dad. If you are a single mom, is Grandpa available or an uncle?