I Need to Get My One Year Old in His Crib!

I hear you on not wanting to let him cry. I HATE for my baby to cry for too long. I know how hard this must be for you. My oldest slept in the bed with un until she was 3 1/2. There is a method that worked for my friend.

She put her son in the crib and sat next to the crib with her back turned to him and looking down. She did not pick him up or talk to him she just sat there. It is very important not to pick him up. He might cry a little but he will be ok knowing that you are there. Once he was sleeping for 45 minutes she went to her bed. If he woke up crying she would lay him down, rub his back and go back to her sitting position. The next night she moved further away and she repeated this process until he just went to sleep in his crib. He is now 4 years old and goes to bed in his own bed every night.

Hope this helps and good luck

J.,

Hello. Had something of the same problem. Our peds doc told us to get our daughter to sleep in her own bed or else she would be in there until she was 5. He was the head doctor for the UofMN Pediatric Residents program....so no dummy to the subject.

Anyhow....here is what I tell my friends. Start by putting him dow for his naps and letting him tough it out a bit using the 3, 5, 9, 13,...minute method. What you do is you put him to bed always awake and then if he is crying go in and talk to him and maybe touch him. Do not pick him up. Say something like, "Time to go night night honey. Mommy loves you" Give him a pat and then leave (stay outside the door and do not make a peep). It is important to give him a verbal cue like time to go night night etc. Then you can go in after stretching each time out longer and longer.

This isn't easy and our doctor suggested trying it on the weekends first (a long one works best...a three day weekend). If you work you will know why. I would also try to suggest feeding the child their bottle about 2 hours before you put them down.

What you are doing is helping the child to learn how to get themselves down and thus by doing so you teach them (ultimately) to help themselves get down again when they wake slightly (and everyone does come up to some light awake state during a normal sleep cycle). When you rock them and feed them prior to going to bed they 'need' those things to help them get back to sleep. When you don't do those things they learn to listen to their own breathing or other. This does not mean you should stop your wonderful nighttime routine. No, just get it done first and then put them to sleep awake.

I saw this on the nanny 911 show a few weeks ago so others are doing it. On this show the mom was told that she could speak the first time and then the other times she simply took her child by the hand and gently walked her back to bed. tucked her in and left. She got up 17 times. But the next night something like 2-3 and the following 0. She was in a twin bed. but it works easier with a crib baby, usually.

Good luck!

Virginia
Mom of two children. first in our bed for a long time. second...well was too sleep deprived to continue that whole thing.

I am having this same issue with my daughter and was going to post pretty much the same question. She is almost 10 months old, and she will sleep in her crib for the first portion of the night, but then when she wakes up after anywhere from 2-4 hours later, she will not go back to sleep in to. I do not mind letting her sleep in my bed, but just don't want it to continue forever, and there are so many people that disagree with it. I also do not like the cry it out method, I've tried that and will not do it again. Just wanted to let you know that I am in the same situation.

That story sounds identical to mine almost. My daughter was in her crib from 4mos. -10mos.when she got sick and now my daughter is 5 and still in my bed. I bought her a toddler bed and she never used it, then I bought her a twin size bed and she's used it on a few occasions. I don't mind sleeping with my daughter though I'm a single mom.

If you really want your son back in his crib you'll have to do the cry it out method. Go cold turkey and donot go get him.

Another book option is the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantely. I like her approach to sleep issues. She doesn't have a quick fix answer, but you don't let your baby cry either.

Good luck
J.

I also had a child that wouldn't sleep in the crib because I brought them in bed with us. What we ended up doing was we moved her crib into our room. It worked like a charm. She did stay in our room until we moved but at least we had our bed back. I have a hard time with the cry it out method.
Good luck,
K.

As hard as it is you just have to be consistant. He's going to try darn hard to get back into your bed because it's been working for him so far. Just remember that he's crying because he's mad, not because there's something wrong. You have to let him cry it out. Better to do it now while he's still in a crib and can't get back out and to your room than try to keep him in a toddler bed later.
Good luck, you can do it :o)
J.

Try the Ferber method! My son is about the same age and we too got stuck with him in our bed due to sickness, travel, etc. The thing is, no one was getting enough sleep this way. We did the Ferber method for a couple of nights and now he falls asleep on his own. He also stopped getting me up in the middle of the night because he wanted to come to bed with us. Everyone sleeps much better now.

I have a 1 year old as well (born 3/15/06 ). We have been really lucky with him and he has slept in his bed and Throug the night since 6wks. In fact we used to have to wake him up at night to feed him before the 6wk mark.

But I have a friend that also has a 1 year old, her little one was a handful when it came to bedtime. They used a co/sleeper with their daughter for a long time so it was hard to get her to sleep all night in her own bed at 8mths. This is what they tried:

Put the playpen/portable crib at the foot of there bed and let her sleep there for a while. When that was working well then moved the crib out the door of there room (leaving there door open so she could hear the noise of them moving around at night) they just kept moving the crib a little closer to the nursery then into the nursery and by that time it wasn't difficult for her to sleep in her room in her bed all night by herself. It worth a try.

Keep in mind that 10 times is a habit. It takes 10 full days to get him back into the habit. It is really hard and you are not alone. I have two boys (2.75 and 4.5) and they are always testing me. I for example end up giving in on the fights and tantrums that our 2 year old William has because it is less stress than dealing with the temper that is HUGE! I know that he gets it from me so I in turn feel guilty for not supporting the behavior but there are more days than not that I just give in. Consistancy is key... but the strangth to get you to day number 10 is really hard. Just know that you are not alone~

First I want to comment that you shouldn't feel like you did something wrong when you decided to bring your sick baby into bed with you. You did what a mother is supposed to, you nurtured your baby when he needed you. A baby doesn't understand being sick, he just knows that he feels awful and doesn't know why.

Another think to keep in mind is that a baby who sleeps through the night in their own bed for the first few months may not do the same later. Once their little minds get more mature and they start thinking about stuff and moving their bodies in ways they couldn't before, or they start teething, they can have trouble sleeping...at no fault of your own.

I spent a lot of time during the first year of my first child feeling guilty about having him sleep in bed with us. Not because I felt it was wrong, but because so many other people were happy to tell me how much damage it would do to him for his future sleeping habits. I was so much more happy and rested when I decided not to listen to other people and just do what I felt was best. Now my son sleeps just perfect in his own bed and has for years. My second son slept with us, or in a crib in our room, until he was 18 months old. Now he sleeps in a crib in his brother's room (for the most part.)

If you want him to sleep in his crib because you don't want him in bed with you, then you are going to have to follow one of the methods that will most likely result in him crying. He's only twelve months old and that's the main way he has to tell you he doesn't like it. And who wouldn't prefer sleeping in a warm bed with mom and dad over sleeping in a bed with bars all by yourself? You don't necessarily have to let him "cry it out" though.

You may try putting the crib in your bedroom and then slowing moving him out into his own room. Other people I know have slept in the same room as the crib and slowly moved themselves out. I would suggest putting him in his crib before he falls asleep and spending time in there while he puts himself to sleep. By letting him fall asleep before putting him down, he knows when he wakes up that he isn't in the same place he was when he fell asleep and he will fuss about it.

Do whatever works for you. And keep in mind that it will end... have you ever seen a post from someone with a grade school kid who isn't sleeping through the night?

Good Luck.