Seeking Advice from Co-sleeping Moms

I say now is a good time to break this habit. I let my son co-sleep (not in bed but in a co-sleeper) for 3 months...then I believe he needed to sleep on his own for both me and my husband's sanity. I know a mom who, to this day, is still sleeping with her 2 boys (ages 7 and 8). You don't want to be in this situtation and the longer they have memories of this attachment, the harder it will be on both of you, espeicially in situations like going away for the weekend. Better to start healthy sleeping habits ASAP.
Hope this helps,
E.:-)

I have three children and never left any one of them when they were babies. I just made a decision to wait until they were older to do that. I sympathize with your feeling nervous. Read some Dr Sears

I'm not sure that you could do this within the next month, but with my DS we transitioned slowly with a separate bed in our room. I had been co-sleeping with DS in a twin bed next to our big bed (just the mattress and boxspring on the floor). He was used to it anyway, but I could go to him or he could crawl up to the big bed if needed. After a while, we put the twin in his bedroom and continued on/off co-sleeping for a while. Now he's in his own toddler bed and sleeping through the night by himself (he's now 20 months, but we started this about 4-5 months ago). I don't subscribe to the cry-it-out method, and though it took a little longer this way, we all ended up much happier.

Maybe you could try the crib in your room for a while, or a twin to sleep next to her. You could have Dad more involved in the bedtime routine if he isn't already, so DD can get used to someone else helping before bed and during the night. As for having Grandma around, hopefully she'll have some tricks to help your daughter sleep (Grandmas are good at that). Good luck!

For the sake of your mom and your daughter I would recommend doing the transition to her crib before you leave town. The longer you put this off, the worse the transition will be. Baby's adjust relatively quickly, although it will take some sadness from your baby. You need to stay strong and after a few nights she will be fine. I have three amazingly good sleepers and I feel like it will benefit them for their futures.

Good luck and stay strong!!! This too shall pass.

SAHM (5 1/2, 4 1/2, and 22 month old boys)

ps. Are you planning on weaning before you go? Or pumping...this is also something for you to think about!

Both of my older children coslept with us until they were about 2 1/2 ish years old. I transitioned my son out by putting him down to sleep in the crib and moving him into my bed when he woke up the first time and as he slept longer and longer he ended up spending the night in the crib eventually, but didn't end up sleeping in there all night until he was about 2 1/2 and had his own big-boy-bed. Then he would come into our room in the morning when he woke up and snuggle for a while, often falling back to sleep. He's almost 8 now, and on the weekends, he still comes in for a quick snuggle when he wakes up (5-10 minutes or so) before getting up and wandering away to read or play or do something with his younger sister until 9, which is when we've told them they can wake us on weekends (unless they need us for something important.)

My daughter, who is turning 4 this weekend, was transitioned out more deliberately -- we set up a toddler bed in our room and started her sleeping in that, but she could climb in whenever she wanted. Then after she was sleeping happily in that, we moved her bed into her big brother's room and she slept on it there for a while, and is now thrilled beyond belief that she has the bottom bunk of a bunk bed with her brother.

My youngest is 3 1/2 months old, and is happily cosleeping, and probably will until he's about 2 1/2 when we will do this all over again. At that point, we'll probably have the great bedroom shuffle as everyone moves around and possibly gets their own rooms. Right now, I think that both my 7 year old and my 4 year old sleep better with someone else in the room, though they are both also accustomed to being alone in the room because my son spends half his time at his dad's house.

So, I'm not the voice of experience since I'm in a similar position (minus the out of town wedding). My 11 m.o. is cosleeping. We're not going to kick him out of bed, but wha tI'm seeing with him is an interest in and ability to get into (and almost safely get out of)toddler beds. He has seen them at others' houses and knows what they are for. So my plan for us is to get him a toddler bed (or just a small mattress for the floor) and start spending quiet/sleepy nursing time with him there so that he starts to see that as an alternative place to rest his head. I don't know if it will work, but it seems to make sense for us. Good luck with your situation. I'm sure your intuition will tell you what's best!

I slept with my son until he was 10 and half months old. Then I transitioned him to a crib. It took about a week or so. But it was the best decision I ever made. We both started sleeping like champs!! The first night I put him to sleep in the crib he was sleeping already. Then woke up in the middle of the night, but we just picked him up, put him down, sang to him etc. I would start this on a thursday or a friday. That way you have the whole weekend to do this. We would say night night time. sing, rub his back. He would fall asleep. I would do the same in the middle of the night. Then finally after a few days I couldn't take it anymore and when he woke in the middle of the night I ignored it a lo and behold, he stopped and went right back to sleep. He wasn't screaming his head off though. I always check on him if he is screaming, but seriously, this was easier than I thought it was going to be and at 11 months old he was asking to go night night on his own and sleeping 12 hours straight. If you have questions, just let me know. I did let him cry, but not for long periods of time. Some nights were really simple, some nights all he needed was an extra hug, but he usually has the same bedtime every night 9pm. There were a few nights he actually wanted to go to bed earlier. He is now 2 and rarely if ever gives us a hard time to go to bed. I never thought he would be a good sleeper, but he is. Good luck!! Oh yeah, I forgot, his crib mattress did need an extra blanket (I used a baby comforter) for him to sleep on because it was too hard for him, this helped a lot.

I would say not to transition to a crib until after the wedding my youngest co-slept w/ us and when my parents took him for an overnight visit they let him sleep w/ them and he slept all night perfectly fine.

For transitioning to the crib start slow w/ naps unless she is napping by herself already. Then either put a chair or pillow by her crib and hold her through the bars rub her back/belly sing to her read to her do the same thing when she wakes I am a firm believer in crying it out is harmful to children at this age if they cry they need you for something. Each night slowly move the chair further and further from her crib until its finally out of the bedroom. Just don't start the transition if she is teething or not feeling well do it when she's happy and healthy. Good luck.

My daughter sleeps in her pack and play and crib during nap time. Could you start her slowly with that? We're still co-sleeping at 20 months and she goes back and forth. I'm trying to use this method: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

to get her to really sleep at night on her own, it's a gentle method. I think you are already a step ahead by the fact that she is night weaned. (how did you do it???)

Good luck!

Do it now! My 1st child was 4 before he finally went to his own bed and believe me I tried everything, he is now 8. My second child never slept in my bed and the third child only comes in the bed when I am too tired to put her back in her own bed, she is 2.

If you start now, it will get easier as your trip date approaches. if she doesn't like to sleep alone, give her a doll or stuffed animal or special blanket only for bedtime. Another option is to set up a cd player. It doesn't have to be classical music, my daughter listens to yo gabba gabba and dora.

Good luck in your upcoming journey. You'll get there. Be patient.

My children both co-slept in my bed until about 6 mos or so. Then I put a mattress on the floor in their rooms & co-slept with them there. I then weaned myself out of their room. If they woke in the middle of the night, I would go lie down & sleep with them in their beds. They both started sleeping through the night & on their own around the age of 2. Now, if one is sick or has a nightmere, they don't even ask to come into my bed. They want me in their bed, so it works great. I also would put a gate in the bedroom door & make sure that their rooms were completely babyproof since they could get out of the bed.
Whenever we did an overnight, my children would sleep in bed with my in-laws. My daughter still does & she sleeps great that way. Good luck. I know it's a tough transition.

K.
My kids are now 2 and 4, but I co-slept and breast-fed on demand with both of them. They both now LOVE their beds but it took a little time transitioning to a bed. We transitioned first to a twin bed mattress on the floor next to our bed then put the mattress in their room. Because it is a mattress (not a crib) they could get up and come into our room if needed (or if still in our room, simply crawl into our bed). A variation on a gentle transition like this worked with both of them. Good luck!
K.

I disagree with the posts that advise "breaking the habit now." Do whatever your child is ready for. With two kids, I have tried both the "cry it out in your own bedroom" and co-sleeping methods and each worked at different stages with each kid. e.g., my 3-year-old slept great on her own for almost a year, then had problems with separation anxiety and some meds she was on for juvenile arthritis - the short of it, she now sleeps in a twin bed in our room that is right up against our bed (so pretty much sleeping with us). But I think she is finally about ready to go back into a room to share with her older brother (who didn't leave our bed until almost 4 years old). I believe excessive "crying it out" puts tremendous stress on the little ones - if they sleep better and are more comforted with you there, then do it.
The grandparent issue has been interesting. The kids have a different relationship - and different expectations - with Grandma and Grandpa. They don't always sleep as well at their house, or when G&G babysit at ours for a night, but the kids do fine. They don't really expect to have the same nightime routine or snuggle time with G&G (especially now that they are older). When my daughter was your girl's age, I think Grandma would sleep in bed with her too - so you can try that, or put a bed next to her. But I think you could just let Grandma figure out what works for her because she and your little girl will figure out their own routine and dynamic. Don't worry about it - enjoy your out of town time and know that your daughter is with people who love her and will take good care of her, even if it is different from the way you do it.
Good luck!

I would suggest putting a crib next to your bed and using it a s co-sleeper, then slowly transitioning her into that. I would definitely check out http://askdrsears.com they have excellent advice about nighttime sleeping! That being said, I would not stress about it at all! Unless you(or your husband) are in a huge hurry to get her out of your bed, let it happen naturally. They are only this age once! I would also ask why you can't bring your baby to this wedding? I was recently invited to a wedding where "babies were not allowed" I have an eight month old that nurses on demand. It was simply not an option for me to leave her, so I told my friend that either I bring her or I do not attend, and she understood!
If you do have to leave her, get her used to grammy being there at night a few times before you leave, and make sure she sleeps with her in the bed that night. I would push to bring your baby with you to the wedding though! Check out the http://askdrsears.com website and make sure you include your husband in the research so he can understand the benefits of co-sleeping! Good Luck!

I remember those transition days! It's not an easy switch to make. It takes patience and consistency. Do not take a step back once you have made progress or it will all fall apart.
I have done this twice now, and will do it again with baby #3.
Once nighttime nursing ends, it is very important to get that little out of your bed. Not because it's what's best for the baby, but because it's what's best for those loving and patient husbands of ours and our marriages!!
My husband was so good about bed sharing, and I felt that once my daughters were old enough to not need the nursing, I owed it to him to let him have his wife and bed back.
I began by putting the crib right up against my bed. Lowered the side so there was very little barrier between us and letting her sleep in there. The first few nights that meant going to sleep the same way with her in my bed, and then moving her once she fell asleep. After a few nights of this, I put her to sleep right in the crib. She'd cry, but soon understood that this was the way it was and I was not going to change my mind.
Again I waited till she was sleeping well along side me before I made another change.
I started putting up the side on the crib and moved it a little bit away from my bed. With both girls- this was an easy step. It seemed that once they were used to sleeping in the crib, it didn't matter if I moved it away from my bed. I still did this slowly, over the course of a couple of weeks- moved it over towards the door.
With the first child, she stayed in her crib, in our room for some time longer. With baby number two- we moved the crib right down the hall and into her sister's room, where they both still sleep today.
I would suggest taking 2-3 weeks and transition her from your bed to a crib. Don't worry about getting her out of your room just yet. Having her sleep well in her own bed will make it easy on Grandma. Then you can decide wether to move her into a different room once you come back home.
One more tip- Start switching the bedtime routine into Daddy's hands. This mixes it all up and takes away the expectations that Mommy is needed for sleeping. My husband enjoyed this part, and the girls still (at 4 and 6) prefer Daddy to put them to sleep. He's up there reading to them right now!!
Good luck!
-S.