How Do I Get My 11 Month Old to Sleep in Her Crib?

Updated on October 10, 2007
K.J. asks from Corpus Christi, TX
15 answers

I have an 11 month old daughter who has been sleeping with us since she outgrew her bassinet. She has her crib but she has never liked it so we let her sleep with us. I don't sleep very comfortable at night because I am always waking up to check on her, and also, she likes ALOT of room between us and herself. I love sleeping with my daughter but I feel it's time to get her into her own bed. I've tried it before when she was about 6 months old but it made me cry when she cried so I let her sleep with us. Does anyone know of a good way of teaching my daughter to sleep in her own room and bed without making her cry? I'm totally against the "crying to sleep". Thanks!

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C.L.

answers from Beaumont on

Try getting her to sleep and then putting her in her bed that is what I have always done. She has lept with us like a total of maybe 5 times. My daughter is 18 months old and we have to get her to sleep and let her be good asleep for about 30 mins. and then lay her in her bed and she does fine.

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C.R.

answers from El Paso on

I hate to be the one who gives you the bad news but I was unable to teach my kids to sleep in their own beds without the crying at that age. What I finally ended up doing was the "long good bye" method (with a twist that my husband recomended). You need to have an established bed time routine. Mine is play time ALONE with mom and dad, (because I have 4 kids) then bath, then snuggle time, then prayaer as I lay her into her crib. She falls right to sleep now. I still do this routine with all of them with the adjustments for the ages. Here is the long good bye method. First do your bed time routine then when it's time to go to bed give her huggs and kisses and lay her down in her crib. have a chair next to her crib and ready. Here is the really hard part, do not pick her up only lay her back down. No eye contact or anything else. just when she stands up lay her back down and you keep doing this untill she falls a sleep. Whe will cry, but this was the way my doctor recomended for all of my kids and I was surprised when I moved states when the new doctor told me he recomended the same method. It lets her know you are still there and teaches her to go to sleep on her own. The twist was my MP3 player. I couldn't take my children crying it killed me so I wore an MP3 player and put it as loud as I could and let them cry. I also held their hands as they fell asleep. To this day my 8 year old wants me to hold his hand as we say our bed time prayers, he just won't admit to it. Now, I learned my lesson by my third child, I started this method at 3 months and I had no crying from the last two at all, and I also learned that they sleep though the night better when you start sooner because they learn how to self-sooth. So I hope this helped you if you have any questions feel free to contact me.

C.

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L.S.

answers from San Antonio on

It will take a lot of strength on your part and consistancy, no matter how tired you are. I understand not liking the whole crying it out thing.. I don't either. What I would recommend is putting her down, she will cry. Allow her to cry for no more than 5 minutes. Go in. calm her down. Tell her it is bed time, and you love her very much. Lay her back down. Do this until she goes to sleep. You could also rock her to sleep and lay her down once she is asleep. You could allow her to fall asleep with you in your bed and move her once she's asleep. I've done all of these. Although, I co slept with most of my kids for several years. It never disrupted my sleep .. If you aren't comfortable sleeping with them, it shouldn't have started in the first place :-) If mommy isn't able to sleep.. no one is happy the next day! Hope that helps!

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

I have known people who have used their full size crib as a side car attachment to their bed. They took off the rail, tied the sides to the bed, and stuffed the gap with a foam pillow. I have not tried it personally, but everyone who has says it works nicely.

You could also start with napping in her crib, and gradually move up to night time sleeping. If you rock/nurse her to sleep you can lay a heating pad on low in the crib, and move it when you lay her down so the bed is still warm.

The No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book to read, and offers a gentler approach to sleeping. Dr. Sear's Sleep Book is another gentle approach to sleeping.

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C.S.

answers from Sherman on

THis is what I did. I put a crib mattress in her room and told her it was her special big girl mattress. Started out with her napping on it. Then at night I moved it to my room. When she fell asleep I moved her to it. Soon she wanted to sleep on it all the time. I had a regular twin mattress in her room as I felt she was not ready for a bed yet. They did not have the toddler beds they have now. My daughter is having the same problem with my grandson. I just bought him a Car toddler bed. Let me tell you what he loves taking a nap in that thing. But still wants to sleep with mom and dad. I do not thing it will be long before he wants to sleep in that fancy new bed. When you ask him which bed he has to think

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D.S.

answers from Austin on

Lilee,

Well your going to have to let her cry it out. Think about it do you want her to 5, 6 or 7 years old and still sleeping you in your bed? Break the habit now or pay for it later. My son is 9 1/2 months old and falls asleep no problem in his crib, in fact sleeps better by himself than with me. Sorry don't know how else you can break the habit but put her in her bed when she is tired and let her cry if need be...

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L.S.

answers from Odessa on

I know that part of the goal is to get her to sleep in her bed in her room, but could you compromise and put her bed in your room? We did that with my oldest daughter, and she willingly slept in her bed. We got a lot more sleep this way.

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M.F.

answers from Beaumont on

I have started reading " The No Cry Sleep Solution". It is one of the only no cry it out books I could find. It comes highly recommended by Dr. Sears and has great reviews. I bought mine from Amazon. You should also check out www.askdrsears.com, he and his son are leading experts in the field of pediatrics and advocates of co-sleeping. I am in your shoes, I love having my son in our bed, but I am exhausted and my body hurts! We are going to attempt the crib next month. Good luck!...M.

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P.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi Lilee. My daughter slept with us until she was 4 months old when we moved her into her crib without a problem. But, we had many other sleeping issues with her. We used the book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It is a great book and I think will help with your issue. I think there are specific things in it about moving your child to their own bed. She offers a bunch of ideas that you can pick and choose that help your child sleep better.
Please let me know if you have any other questions or just want to talk. I got so frustrated about trying to get my daughter to sleep without letting her cry it out mainly because I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Most of my friends just told me to let her cry it out which we did not want to do. It took us a long time and we had a lot of issues, but she now sleeps through the night without issue. I think she even sleeps better than if we let her cry it out because she has really learned how to go to sleep, not just to cry until she's exhausted.
So, all that to say - hang in there and I think you're doing the right thing. And I'm happy to tell you that again if you need to hear it if you get frustrated and worn out. :)
Hope this helps.
- P.

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J.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi, Lilee. I worked on my daughter slowly. First I let her fall asleep in my bed, then when she was gone I'd pick her up and put her in her bed, which was in my room. From there I just took baby steps, slowly working on her to fall asleep in her own bed. There were nights of getting up and putting her back into her own bed but it was worth it. My daughter was older than yours, she was three, but I think the general idea would work. You can also make sure she has a blanket that smells like you in her own bed, to comfort her. Good luck.

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J.N.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I put my daughter in her crib and sat next to her until she fell asleep with her favorite animal as company. It took her 2 days to get used to it.

Good Luck!

J.

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N.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Good luck... It's not bad for kids to cry. You can try sitting in the room till she falls asleep and then slowly over a few months. move your chari away. until you are sitting outside the door with the door open. Then begin shutting, but guess what she will proabably still cry because no parent I know has the patience to out wait a child who doesn't want to sleep.

LOL

So my advise, let her cry... When she gets to big to be in a crib you are really going to have issues.

You are the parent assert yourself. Sorry I hope that's not harsh. ;)

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A.S.

answers from Austin on

Dear Lilee,

I didn't believe in letting my kids cry it out either. My older two kids just slept with me until they were ready for their own beds. By the time I had my third I wanted a little more space but I still wanted my son to be secure. I discovered the "side sleepers" which attach to the side of your bed. He could sleep and nap there and when he wanted to nurse I would just roll him toward me. Easy! Everyone was happy. :)

Good luck. A.

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N.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Start with her naps. Do the morning nap first then both. Once she's going down for those without a problem, go to night. You could also put the crib in your room for a little while to see if it helps. For future reference...the best way to keep from going through this is not to start them in the bed with you. Not even if they're sick.

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T.B.

answers from Killeen on

Hi,
I hate to say this, but crying is what kids do. I had a friend who felt the same way you do. Her daughter was 8 years old before she slept in her own bed, and that was only half the time. Its effected her marriage and her daughters ability to be independent. If you don't do it now, your going to have to live with those consequences for a very long time. I rocked mine to sleep every night and was ending up in the same boat. I started putting him in his own bed, and let him know I was still there but he wasn't getting out. It took about four days, and now he WILL NOT sleep with me, even for naps. He likes having his own space. I think a lot of people won't let their kids cry because they see it as negative. Well if your child stood up to you and said " MOM, I am NOT going to do what you want met to do and I am going to throw a fit until you let me get my way", what would you do? When your daughter cries and throws a fit, that's essentially what she is telling you. She wants HER way and you are giving in. Your teaching her that by throwing fits and having tantrums that she can get whatever she wants. Thats a really miserable road to go down for both of you.

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