I Have No Idea What to Do Next

I would start with looking into rehab but don't expect miracles. You would need to follow up with a big life change (for him) and remove outside influences that are around him right now. Is he in school? Are the kids he's with from school or somewhere else? Would he have access to those kids if you removed him from school? After rehab you could try removing him from the school he's in and trying something different for awhile, be it a different public school, a private school, or a technical school that accepts younger students.

Call your police dept. Ask them what to do. They will have resources for you. Numbers to call people to talk to. We went they this with my daughter at that age. You will need some intervention. You are right you can't just kick him out. It's illegal. But there are things you can do.

If he is not home by curfew lock the door and report him as a run away. They will take reports and eventually he will be put in Juvie. If he is hanging with kids doing drugs report that also eventually he will not be welcome in those homes as the parents will be tired of the hassle.

Lay out the rules and stick to them. Take his phone and any electronics. Those are privileges he has to earn.

Be prepared it will get worse before it gets better.

My cousin was rebellious like this and her parents checked her into a teen rehab center. I know it was costly. It was worth it, though. She straightened out and is a productive adult now.

Send him to military school?

http://militaryschoolusa.com/texas/

I have a friend that several years ago sent their son to the one in Harlingen, TX..... we weren't close friends, more like acquaintances....

He did real well there.... he needed more structure and discipline.

Unfortunately, it is expensive.

Otherwise, you need to find some way to discipline him...... I'm not meaning to start spanking him or anything, but he apparently has no respect for anyone in the house, including you or his dad.

Have you talked to his counselor at school? Is there anything they can suggest?

If he is doing drugs, maybe YOU need to be the one to call the police on him..... it sounds horrible, but maybe that is what is needed.

Don't bother with places like Boys Town, unless the child is court ordered to go there the parents pay aroung $2000/month to have their child 'straightened out'.

Since he is a minor as his parents you can sign him into rehab. Do it!!

Start with the immediate resources available to you: your stepson's pediatrician, the police (ask for the school resource officer who deals with teens), the school counselors (if anyone is still there after the close of the school year). Your town may have a department of children's & family services. All will know about what therapeutic options are available to you at a price you can afford or which are covered by your medical insurance, or a combination. Don't start with trying to choose a program (such as "juvie" or an inpatient rehab) - you don't know how to choose yet and there are multiple issues at play (drugs, sex, rebellion, defiance, etc.). But you must do something quickly because of your stepson's behavior and its effect on him as well as the other children. This is a job for the child's parents unless you have custody and the mother is not involved legally - you as the stepmother can start to research, but the child's father and mother have to make the decisions.

You have discovered that you can say things to a teen but if there's no follow-through, nothing happens. You've made rules, he breaks them. You've told him he can't live there, but you can't/won't kick him out. I agree you have to find a facility for him, not just boot him out, since he is a minor. But he is actively defying you. He's showing his immaturity by saying he's going to call the police on you. I'd say, "Great. Let's call now and have them send someone over." But he may have gone too far for this to be effective.

There are plenty of services available to him. You can also see about family support services because everyone needs help with this - establishing boundaries, protecting the household. You can try one of the family services such as Al-Anon or a parallel program for drugs vs. alcohol. But the strategies are similar so get to the one you can easily attend. There are also on-line resources. Any family therapist to whom your doctor or the family service people refer you will be able to help you make connections.

For now, understand that an out of control teen is screaming for help, and that continuing to allow this behavior actually amounts to a form of parental neglect, not just of the other kids, but of this boy. Reach out today, take good notes with everyone you speak to, and start putting together a plan with people who know how to do this.

Try calling the Boys Town Hotline and see what they have to say.

http://www.boystown.org/hotline

It is so difficult when kids get to where your stepson is. Obviously his dad has lost control over him, and probably won't be able to get it back any time soon.

Try calling the police, as suggested below -- maybe they have some ideas. And absolutely get him into rehab, if you can afford it or if insurance pays for it.

I've seen so many kids go through what your son is going through, and their parents try everything, with mixed results. Once drugs get involved, it's really hard if not impossible to use the usual consequences with kids.

Sorry for what you're going through -- I hope you get some good advice.

p.s. Reading Sherry's response -- Yes, a stint in juvie might be great for him. This is a good age for them to find out what juvie's all about. A kid I know just did some time in juvie this year, and you should have seen how hard he was trying to shape up afterward. So proud of him.

When my daughter was in the hospital for depression for a few days last year, there was a girl in an other area that was there for the same thing. My daughter would tell me how mean she was to everyone. It came out that she threatened her family, would stay out all night and do drugs. Her family had her admitted. When she found out my daughter was leaving the place, she screamed at her that it wasn't fair since she had been there over a month. So it can take time. You could talk to your doctor for ideas and like others say, see if the police have any ideas. You could also check for your dept of family services to see if they have a special hotline to help families dealing with this.

Call your health insurance to see what type of rehab/treatment is covered.
That's a good place to start.
Good luck!

Residential treatment center. Think he needs way more than you can give him. Good luck

Some great suggestions below. He is out of control and you're right to worry about your other kids. I would contact the police and ask them for advice on where he needs to be sent. It's time for tough love. So sorry.

My BIL and SIL sent her son to a survival school in Tennessee. Its was outside of Nashville. They are expensive but they do help. I would contact your insurance company and see what they cover and then go to the doctor. That is where I would start

There are many many many places to send him. Visit with your insurance person and get a list of the inpatient facilities that will take him.

He needs to go inpatient so he can get better. A friend of mine went to Provo Canyon School for a long time, she came back different. Another went to a facility in Enid and stayed for about 6 months.

I even know a guy that got sent to a survival place and I think it might have been in Texas.

S. - I've never been in your shoes, so I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. I have a 14 year old who gets a little mouthy sometimes and does stupid stuff...but nothing like this!!

I would contact my insurance company and find out what type of mental health coverage you have.

Go to your pediatrician and ask for a referral (if you need one) for a psychiatrist that specializes in teenage drug use and sexual promiscuity. Get your step son tested to make sure he doesn't have any STDs.

I would call the police too. Find out if they have any information on what to do with a troubled teen. They might have preventative classes for teens and parents.

Good luck!!

Boot camp! A friend of mine had the same problems with her daughter. They sent her to boot camp and she came back a completely changed young lady. She is grown now, went to college for 2 years, got her associates degree, got married, is taking on line college courses to get her bachelors degree, and has a baby girl. To see her now you would never think they ever had any problems with her.

It's expensive but so worth the money!