I Need Some Information

Find him a psycologist. Let him pick the best one. He knows what he is doing. You have a great kid there!

J. -

My first suggestion would be to call your son's doctor/pediatrician and ask for recommendations for treatment. In addition, there should be some type of teen crisis line in your area that may have some suggestions. In the very least, your local hospital should be able to tell you of an organization that can help teens in crisis. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

M.

J. -
I can hardly hold back the tears after reading your request. My first suggestion would be to go to GOD first. Then, I have heard alot about The Calvary Center...it may be one of the rehab places you go to stay for awhile, I am not really sure. There is info about it at newlife.com I believe. I hear a lot about it on the New Life Live radio show. But, I too would start with the pediatrician and a good christian church. A lot of churches have support programs just for drug addictions. Let your son know that all of us mothers out here are praying for him.

C.
Nashville

Wow. J., that is so heart breaking. I have really no advice but I know that I can pray for you and that is certainly something you should do as well.

One idea I do have is maybe call the doctor and tell them the situation and that you want to do what is best for your son at home if at all possible. Maybe they can sugget something...also he may need to see a doctor anyway to make sure that the drugs have not hurt any of his vital organs because i know that they can do that.

I hope you can find a solution. Please if you need to talk feel free to e-mail me or message me what ever you need.

Jen

J.,

The United Way in your are has a Helpline • 1-800-377-1643
24-Hour a day telephone crisis line and listening service. Your first call for help. They will be able to locate programs available in your area for counseling, out patient rehab programs, etc. As well as provide guidance on how to for you to help your son. I know is this is a very difficult time and I will keep you in my prayers.

Check with your insurance first and see what they cover - also try the church - they will have some places that will help you. A friend of mine went through the same thing - she started with church and they recomemed a few places. I will be praying for you and your son. Please let me know if you need any thing.

God bless you and your family. You have avery brave son!! I'm in recovery myself, and I was not so forthcoming- nor nearly as young- when I started to heal. He will need your help more than you know. Your son must trust and respect you very much. Call a local rehab clinic or a state-wide one, in Jackson, MS, maybe. I live in Chattanooga and here I would call a nonprofit called CADAS. You could call them from there, too, actually. He doesn't have to stay in an inpatient setting to get treatment. There is a program in most places called IOP- Intensive Out Patient care. This can be used after inpatient care or separately. The key is to talk to someone outside your family- read: not emotionally attatched- and show him you will follow their suggestions AND support him. Rehab is scary! I didn't want to go either. But, the disease of addiction WILL try to keep him. You all need an objective eye and helping hand in this; it can get very difficult. BUT THERE IS A SOLUTION! I promise. It gets better. I would also strongly suggest that you seek out recovery meetings of your own for family and close friends of those who are addicted. In most places the 12-step version of these meetings are called Al-ANON. Many rehabs, hospitals, therapists, and even churches have similar offerings. My suggestion is still a 12-step approach, though, because that's what worked for me. Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP- on your son or yourself. And keep writing to the rest of us. You are living my worst nightmare! I will bet you will need to vent or seek support often. I know WE need to see that dedicated families can make it through anything. This is one disease that definately does not descriminate! Thank you for your courage in sharing. Good luck and God bless!
C.

PS- AA and NA are fabulous and I know from experience that they work. However, they are NOT therapy; they do NOT provide counselors; and they ARE NOT a program you sign up for. They are anonymous, sufferer-supported, self-help programs that are available to anyone who wants help. They helped save my life! But, they are not responsible to you or for you and cannot force anyone to be accountible who doesn't want to be. Don't count them out but don't limit yourself to them either.

First of all J. I want to commend you for having an open relationship with your child, that is the most important thing. Realizing he has a problem and being able to admit it is always the first step. While I havent been in your shoes exactly, I know this is going to be a long journey and is not something that you can do alone, you will need a professional's help. There are several ways to handle this first there is Narcotics Anonymous 1-800-677-1462, check with the schools Counselor's or resouce centers, the DARE program, and many churches. But letting him know that you are there for him, will love him and stand by him will help you through this. There are going to be tough love sessions but please as hard as it may get dont enable him to continue this life, there are only bad things to come if he continues. This is going to be a long journey for the both of you and your family, it is a never ending battle as with any addiction is. Good luck and be strong.
K.

Start with a mental health facility--there are underlying reasons that people have for getting into drugs. These have to be addressed in order for the addiction to be overcome. You have an awful lot on you, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children develop problems that are beyond our capacity to solve by ourselves. I like this quote from Maya Angelou: "I did the best I knew how to do, and when I knew better, I did better". Feel free to contact me if you'd like.

hi J.,
I'm from MS too and depending on which city you're in, there are a lot of support opportunities. My Step-father is a rehab counselor and from our experience it is best to have a professional helping you. If I were you, I would seek help at a local NA (Narcotics anonymous group) to see if they have any leads on Teen programs and go from there.

If you live in mississippi I recomend Region III mental health Center. They deal with addiction & mental health issues (which may be the reason he was trying to self medicate) The really good thing about this place is it is out paitent treatment & if you dont have health insurance they will charge you on a sliding scale (very affordable!!!) & if he needs medication they give it to you free. You can find them in the phonebook....I hope this helps.

i am not advising you from a mother's position, but from an addict's. you must be aggresive. it is hopeful that he is being honest with you, so you must take him seriously. i am sure if love and support was all he needed, he would have been sober thus far. the challenge for you is going to be tough love. you said that "he doesn't want to go to rehab." too bad. he gave up his right to make choices when he proved to make the wrong ones. i know your heart must be breaking right now, but it is time to get tough. it is the only thing that will save him. my suggestion is to do exactly opposite of what "he wants". it is his addiction telling you not to seperate him from his drugs. while he is in a 90 day rehab, i would make arrangements for him to be put in another school. his places and people must change, and rehab will further educate him on the consequences of continuing to use. they will also make him aware of the one's he has already faced. you cannot be passive when you are combating drugs. you will end up loosing the battle and loosing your son. i will pray for you, for God to make you wise and sturdy. this is your time to shine, as his mother, don't let him down. go kick butt, girl, you can do this!!!

Hi, I've been through something similar and counseling really helped us both. The United Way has counselors available and they charge based on your income and accept medicaid. It's a hard road for both of you, and the best thing he can do is find a different group of friends to hang with and find an after school activity that will take his mind off drugs. I've been through this with my 2 older children and I actually moved to another city to get them away from the crowd they were hanging with, it turned out to be the best thing I could have done, hopefully you won't have to go that far to get him away from the temptation. You could also talk to his family doctor, mine had some great advice and was very supportive.
Best wishes to you and you'll be in my prayers,
L.

You could also call your local Juvenile Court Services and ask them if they are aware of any resources. I AM NOT RECOMMENDING THAT YOU GET HIM INVOLVED WITH THE COURT!!! HE DOESN'T NEED THAT! I used to work with the court system in Tennessee and know that they typically find out about the newest and best programs in the area. Most programs want to get involved with the court systems so that they have a good client and referral base. I would just call and say that you know of a child that needs outpatient treatment and ask if they can recommend any programs. If they ask a bunch of questions I would just be evasive and not give them names and other identifying info. For the most part the courts are happy to help to keep the teens from getting into any trouble that would bring them before the court. Hope this helps.

He may not want to go to rehab, but if he's really doing all he says he is, he HAS to go to rehab. Not only are they able to keep him away from the temptation, they give him very important counseling and medical attention. It's next to impossible to just hole him up in his room and wait for the withdrawls and cravings to go away. It wouldn't be fair to him or to you and your other children. If you decide to help him yourself, remember that addiction to drugs is a disease and to help cure a disease you will need some kind of professional help. At least get him into counseling of some sort. Your son is very brave to come to you for help. Now you have to brave because this probably won't be easy.You have to do what's best and safest for him, even if he disagrees (which he will). But I personally think some sort of rehab is the best way to help him. I have a little experience with this subject because my husband had to go to rehab a few years ago to help with his addictions.He checked himself in because he felt it was the only way to save himself. He tried many other times to quit on his own, but it never worked. He has been clean ever since rehab.In addition to rehab, he also removed himself from all of the people he did drugs with, even his best friends, which was the hardest part. But you know what? He has new friends and a beautiful family and no temptation or reason to return to that way of life. I wish you the best of luck in this. Stay strong.

OMy J... my prayers are with you! i want to let you know there still HOPE! many parents only wish their child would have done what your son did..he is obviously a very strong kid & you should be proud of him for coming to you..

If Misty has contacts that can help you, that is the best place to start.. with ppl who have been there! You will need tremendous help to understand & support him! Dont try to do this by yourself! Get involved with people who know what to do.

J.,
I see that you are from the same town that I am. My pastor, Bro. Ron Delgado at Evangel Church on Hollyhills Rd is a recovered drug user. He helps lots of people in the community. The number to the church is ###-###-####. We have a program at that is held at our church called Celebrate Recovery. They have had some ads in the dispatch about the program. It is a support group. I can't say that I have been where you are but I will be glad to be a friend and help get you in touch with anyone that I can. You can email me if you would like to talk further. I will be praying for you and your son!
M.

J.,

I work in a Mental Health Clinic in Nashville. I want you to know there are several options out there. DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!!! There are outpatient services that can help you with this. Start with your pediatrician or family doctor. Also, check out any Mental Heatlh facitilites in your area. Mental Health clinics are usually the one's that handle drug addictions. Best of luck to you and your family.

Be Strong,
G.

Hi my name is L. i read your cry for help and it breaks my heart a child crying for help. But unfortunitily the only way out is rehab because when that withdrawel comes in he is not going to be to will to get off drugs. It going to be totally out of his control. and yours rehab will pull him away from being so free to get drugs it's seem harse when you think about putting your child in a place like that but i work for the sherriff department and children come through all the time like that but you have a chance he wants help. please consider what i have told you while his mind is still wanting help let him know it's the best thing for him right now. Thank You

I really don't know how to approach this subject from the parents side. I use to be that kid. If he really wants to get off the drugs the first thing that has to go is the friends. I'm not saying all of them just the ones he was doing drugs with. Also you can contact a rehab center and see if they know of any NA(Narcotics Annonomous) meetings in your area. I don't know if he needs them but they also have Cocaine Annonomous too. I hope this helps your son...but he is really goin to have to be commited to quit. Also chances are that he will relapse along the way. Don't make him feel bad for it. Let him know that you love him and no matter what he does nothing will ever change that.