so the other day i called out my son's nickname and he responds w/"what?" I was like oooh...that doesn't sound good. i've NEVER been a yes ma'am, no ma'am person. i know it's the right/polite thing to do but i just never said it. anyway, so when he calls out mommy, obviously i've been saying "what" but i recently just started responding, "yes?" or something. i'm not gonna say "yes sir" to him, but he mimics everything i do...so how do i teach him that? and now that i've messed up w/the saying "what?" thing, how do i fix that?
man this parenting to a toddler thing's much more difficult than i thought! manners & such - whew! :) lol
thanks mamas! :)
I always said "yes please", "no thank you", "may I have" even "pardon" but I would never require my daughter to say "yes ma'am" (especially to me, her mommy).
You just keep repeating it to him each time until it becomes habit.
I, as a mom, wouldn't want my kids to call me ma'am, and at my age I don't like to be called ma'am by anybody. Anyone who calls me "Miss" gets a big tip.
But I like it when kids learn to be polite.
I think you are right on with modeling. He says "Mommy?", then you give the eye contact and cue him "Yes?" and he proceeds with his request or question.
For what it's worth, and perhaps this is regional, but I don't know a single child in my world (and in my umpteen years in childcare) who says "Yes, ma'am, no ma'am." If you want to make your answer more polite to your son, you can simply say "Yes, Bobby" (Provided your son is named Bobby, ha ha. :) Otherwise, please use your son's name.) and prompt him to say "Yes, Momma. Yes, Daddy"
I cue my son in his language with prompts (he's four). Here's an example: I prefer to teach him good manners, so when I give him a choice "Would you like some yogurt?" I might also wait a beat and then offer him the choice of an answer "Yes please or No Thank You". The manners are intrinsic in what is being presented. So when you say your son's name, wait a beat for some eye contact "Now you say 'Yes Mama'". You will be repeating this phrase for the better part of their early life, so grow warm feelings for it. And be patient-- manners are learned daily, over time. You'll start to see them when your son is around 4 or so, from my experience.
I agree. Kids absorb everything that they hear. I think that when you ask him something and he says "what", just say, no, say yes maam. Correct him everytime he makes the mistake of saying what. And keep responding yes when he calls for you. Soon, he will be correcting himself before you get the chance to. Its work in progress.
I was a walking chatterbox with the little ones.
Do you want a cracker? Yes please. MMMMM Thank you ma'am
Are you hungry? No ma'am.
I told them everything they were to say. I still do and when my 10 yo does not say yes Ma'am I correct him. And wait for him to yes Ma'am me, or my hubby.
He will learn.
You do have to put the words into his mouth. And this is the time to watch the SH&T's and the G*D D!@#$s. It is really funny to hear your two year old pop one of those, but really not ok.
We don't do sir/ma'am in our house, but I'd imagine it's much the same as teaching please and thank you. If they say "May I have a glass of milk?" and forget, I remind them "May I have a glass of milk, *please*?" and they repeat it properly. Sir/Ma'am shouldn't be any different if that's your expectation.
The best way to teach manners is through example. Whether it's please and thank you or how to address others, it's through example. You can even teach correctively by using appropriate manners yourself as an example. Just be consistent.
I am a Ma'am and Sir person. My son (14) responds to me with yes ma'am, well, most of the time :)
His sitter, up to when he was three, and I, simply used "yes/no ma'am/sir" regularly and he picked it up as a normal speech pattern.
At that age they will repeat what they hear and I found that the easiest way to teach him manners and speech patterns. Of course, like all children, you will have to correct him occasionally - like forever. I remind my son now, when he responds with "yeah" or what", by repeating the question - he catches on pretty quick and spurts out a "Yes ma'am".
And, honestly, it makes me proud when people tell me how well mannered he is.
God Bless
I agree with Hazel W. You do need to model what you want. I personally am not a fan of ma'am or sir (I guess I feel like you need to be over 70 before being addressed this way - if someone calls me ma'am i often feel sightly irked but that's just me) so I like the proposal to have him add "yes, Mama" or No, Daddy".
Some would say it's the decline of manners but others (myself included) say it's evolution! Things do change over time in cultures...
You need to answer no sir, each time.. Then he will learn yes, ma'am. Also do this with every adult you come across. It will become second nature to him.
Also, we do not yell across the house. unless the house is on fire or you are injured or in danger, We walk to the person. Makes for a nicer tone in the house. That is another pet peeve..
I don't know where the four year old came up with "yes sir" but I think it's cute UNTIL he calls ME sir.
I say I'm a "ma'am" and then he proceeds to tell me "no, mommy you're not...you're a MOMMY!"
In our family, using yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, and no ma'am is not optional. It is an absolute must. My husband won't tolerate our children not showing respect and manners. At 2 1/2, you just keep insisting and repeating the response you expect. By age 3 or so, there should not be too many times where you need to remind or correct and by age 4 it should be ingrained. We started insisting that our boys use sir and ma'am kind of late and it was a struggle. The best bet is to start young.
