How Old Are Boys When They Start Dating?

Like the other have say I would not worry about it, my Jeff who is 25 so far has one serous girlfriend in his past. He is wanting to take his time and make the right choices. He also did not have the serious friend until 18 and she was 18 too. They were both two young to know what they wanted. So I would not look for trouble where there is none.

Hi,
I agree with Randi. We have nine children and are teaching them "courtship". Our two oldest daughters never had a boyfriend and when they courted their guys, they always had someone with them and their first kisses were at the marriage altar. Many times, they were teased or questioned, but as their peers went through break-ups and premarital pregnancy, others began appreciating what our family does. Dating is a set-up for divorce. It teaches our kids that "feelings" (not commitment) are what's important and when things get rough, just leave. Our kids don't court until they are ready for marriage and with lots of prayer and parental influence. Good for your son!

We have an 18 yr. old son and I've got lots of friends with this age boys and even older (college age). We agree that kids don't socialize the same as we did with everyone having boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Lots of them don't "date" they just hang out in groups until that special one comes along that seems worth it to go solo with. This may not be until college for him or even later. Our son is gone all the time with friends, both girls and boys. Don't pressure him. I would never think about him being afraid to date, just taking his time and doing what seems to be more normal now, and that's going out with a group.

I think that can actually be a pretty mature attitude. If he's not ready to have a serious relationship & get married, then what is the point? Really? If he waits till he's ready & finds the right girl, he can possibly save himself & a lot of other girls some heartbreak. My husband says, in hindsight, that he wished he hadn't dated so much before we got together. It just adds emotional baggage, especially if there are any prior sexual relationships. If your son feels socially secure not dating then don't make an issue out of it.

M., this is a good thing, i think..i have a son who is almost 22. he's very socially active but dates very little. He runs with groups of friend, guys and girls. When he does date it is a very long term thing and he doesn't take it lightly. I don't know if your son is part of a youth group or not, but my son was taught not to date, what's the purpose....if you're not going to marry the person then why date? Spend time in groups, get to know each other, be friends, find out if you're even compatable before you dive into all the "stuff" that goes along with actaully dating exclusively. Not dating also cuts down on the possibiity of him being sexually active....and that's definately a good thing. There is a young man who i have known since he was a freshman in HS. He never dated anyone. Wonderful guy but never dated. There was a young lady who had been married and had 2 kids that came into the church, they met, went out and 2 months later he stated that they were getting married. They have been married for about 5 years now and he is a great dad and they couldn't be happier. I agree with this thought process of not dating...it certainly cuts down on lots of drama, grief, heartache and distraction in a teenagers life. He'll get there. Now if he's isn't social then you've got another issue but as long as he's socially active and just not dating, give him time, he'll get there when he meets the right girl....good luck R.

personally i think hes being very responsible. Im sure he's seen friends get into emotional dramas that, really at that age is a waste. Not to mention kids getting into very adult situations at his age..I would imagine hes got a friend or two with, if not a pregnancy, a pregnancy scare at least. Hes got his future to line up, kudos to him for not mixing drama he's not ready for into that.

My husband barely dated when he was in high school. I think he started in his senior year. He really just liked being a guy and, I think, not having to mind his manners all that much ;) He was into sports and worked a job that he really loved.

I think he would have polished up some skills in the dating/romance dept. if he had started in high school, but he's a very, very sweet and loving guy, so I take the slightly rough edges willingly :)

Don't push him. He'll date when he's ready. Boys mature emotionally more slowly than girsl, and he may just not be ready to deal with all that yet.

I personally say you have one mature young man there. He seems to have a good head on his shoulders. He is so young and there is plenty of time for that.

I'd be thankful that he is not dating. You say he has great friends and that must come with a social life. Don't worry - he is working and still going to school I assume. Girls would just distract him from his studies.

My oldest son is now 22, married, with our first grandson on the way. He had a girlfriend when he was around 15, but it was more like a friend relationship. They never went anywhere unless it was with a group of friends. We moved after they had been dating for a couple of months and the long distance relationship lasted about a week. He really didn't date again until he was 17. I also have a younger son who is 15 right now and is totally not interested in dating. I have 2 daughters. My oldest daughter didn't start dating until she was 17. She said it was because all the guys she went to school with were immature and she didn't have any interest in them. My youngest daughter is 16 and she's still not dating. Personally, I'm glad that they're waiting a little while to start dating. We've always explained to them that good relationships don't just happen. At some point or another, they're going to take a little work. I think it just depends on the person. One of my daughter's guy friends is almost 19 and not interested in dating. He has his sights set on going to seminary school and doesn't want to complicate his plans with trying to deal with a relationship. And then I guess there's the other end of things-my other daughter has a friend who is involved in a relationship, with their 2nd baby on the way and they're living together in her parents' house. She's only 17 yrs old. I know it's not impossible to get what you want out of life after starting a family this young because I watched my sister-in-law become a very successful person after getting married at 15 and having a baby at 16. But it was not easy for her. She wouldn't change a thing about her life, but she won't hesitate to tell you that she didn't take the best route. I would just give your son support right now. He seems like a responsible young adult. My husband is a high school teacher and we see sooooo many kids who won't work and expect hand outs for everything-money, clothes, cars, grades, etc. And there have been numerous accounts of these kids caught having sex at school-they're not neccessarily in a relationship-it's just something for them to do. I applaud any parent that can get their kids from birth to college without any major incidents that can affect the rest of their life. It's tough now days-too much input from all the wrong places. Just be there for him if he needs you and enjoy him. They're only this age once.

R.

M., in all honesty, I wouldn't worry about it. I have asixteen year old nephew that loves to watch the girls, but has no interest in talking to them. He is shy, but school and sports come first to him. Maybe you are just one of the lucky ones. There is also the alternative. Even though we say it wouldn't matter if our sons were "gay", it would way heavily on all of us. I really wouldn't make it an issue as perhaps his head is on straight which is a sign of your great parenting skills and list of prioritys in life. He has friends and is socializing fairly normal with his job and such. After all, Bill Gates waited a lonngggg time and look where it got him, haha.

Honestly, I think it is great that he thinks dating is a waste of time. Because it is. Who needs to 'try the field' when you all you are trying to do is find the person you want to marry. If you take your time and know what you want and are looking for then there is no point in dating. I dated alot and if I could do it all over again, I would. I did not enjoy the feeling of having my heart broken time and again. Just give your son the time he needs and don't pressure him.

I see you've gotten some good advice already; I'll just add a little. In my religion, boys and girls alike are encouraged to wait to date until they're at least 16, and then only to group date until they're at least 18 or 19, or more ready to start looking for a marriage partner. Boys generally serve two-year missions anywhere between the ages of 19 and 22, so they tend not to single date until after that, and the girls tend to date returned missionaries.

Generally, the earlier people pair off into couples, the earlier they're likely to try everything else - so kids who start dating at a young age are more likely to have premarital sex and so on. But date a lot or date a little, it doesn't mean a person is healthier than another. The first boyfriend I ever had was the guy I'm now married to, and we started dating when I was 24. Before that I'd only ever gone on group dates or one-time single dates. There's a lot you learn from going on dates, but it's not essential a kid do a lot of it in high school. :)