My five year old has been competing lately with everything and gets very upset when he doesn't win. I have tried to talk with him and I think he gets it, but we still have tears when something doesn't go his way. I know it's a stage, but does anyone have any suggestions on how to help get him through this? Thanks!
I think it is pretty natural and it is okay for him to get upset. Of course you want to help and I would want to to. However, it sounds like your doing a good job explaining it. Showing him examples of other people who don't win, or ways to react when you don't win at the game might help. Good luck
Good Morning, M.! First, are you or your husband very competitive? If so, how do you handle it when you don't win?I can be competitive and get upset if I fail..I have to be careful how I react in front of my kids. How is he doing in school? Is he getting positive attention? It's important for kids to know it's ok to compete,but only for the fun of it. It's great to win, but it's also satisfying to know that maybe someone else wins who doesn't get to play often or who never wins. Give him a huge hug..after all, you love him no matter what! L. D-Michigan
I had this with my daughter at about 4 or 5 she had to win at everything. It made me crazy cuz I am very competative and I don't think that is a fabulous trait but instead something that needs to be managed. So I came up with the second winner theory......after the winner won we would then focus some attention on the second winner and then the third etc. My kids still work with that theory plus it includes everyone and truthfully makes me less competative too. We still get teary when things out of our control don't work like last week we bought a raffle ticket and didn't win the raffle item she really wanted but I think that is a good life lesson a bummer but a good life lesson.
One thing that I think has helped my kids ages 4 and 6, is that we have always played lots of board games since they could start to play Candy Land at about age 3. I don't let them win ALL the time. Sometimes they still get upset, but for the most part, my 6yr old son knows that we play for fun, not just to win. I say, if he has tears, let him have tears, he'll get over it. And let him know that if he is a sore looser than it makes it less fun for everybody else. I do a very dramatic role reversal sometimes too. If my kids are having a problem not winning, then if I don't win, I throw a big fit like I'm crying. They think it's funny and see how rediculous they are acting.
I don't make a big deal out of my boys being competative. Its natural for boys. BUT I do draw attention to it. If my 4 yr old is crying because he didn't "get there first" I use these words... "We don't need the tears... We'll have to practice for next time." Not picking him up and cuddling him because of it. If his "feelings are hurt" because of older sister not doing what he wants I tell him (he's a red head and quite emotional) "We don't need the tears... We just have to take turns"
Taking turns at winning is sometimes the best way to explain it (at least to my guy). He's a great sharer and LOVES sharing stuff... But we'll just call them future alphamales and try to teach them to be fair.
