Do You Really Enjoy Being with Your Neices and Nephews??

Yes, I loved spending time with my niece and nephews. When I was single I had them come and stay with me regularly. The same thing now with my great ones.
But it was never that way on my husband's side. I tried, but it just didn't happen.

Don't feel bad. I think it's normal to feel annoyed by any family member. I have 2 neices and a nephew. The oldest neice is 16 and horribly moody. My nephew is 12. They're both irritatingly materialistic, too. All they talk about is what they want their parents to buy them. My younger neice is 8 and is such a brat. She also is not very ladylike (buttcrack and the works!). I helped raise her, so I usually find myself correcting her behavior. But when I do see them all I use that time to talk to them about important things. I want to be the aunt who taught them something.

To be frank, no, not really. My sister and her family live thousands of miles away, so I almost never see my own niece and nephew. My SIL and her family live 15 minutes away so we see them often. I can handle her kids in small doses. They are whiny and bratty. They are also pretty aloof with adults. I try to ask them about what's going on with school, and activities and don't get much of a response. They like to play with my kids, and they all get along pretty well for awhile. We always know when everyone has had enough, and it's time to go.

I can't stand my niece, but then I can't stand my sister either.

I like my nieces but I don't see them very often since they live very far from me. My nephews....well, I don't really enjoy spending time with the older one. It might relate to the fact that my nieces are *my* sister's children and my nephews are my husband's sister's children. It also might be because the older nephew was born before my husband and I were married. But, to be quite honest, I think it is a personality thing. He is just soooo very whiny. I took my girls to visit with the boys at their grandmother's house and the older nephew (who is almost 11) cried and cried because grandmother told him he couldn't play a video game until he ate a few bites of his lunch...which he asked for and then refused to eat. I'm sitting there thinking stop crying and just eat two damn bites. I have little tolerance for crying to get your own way. But the younger nephew is fun.

I don't see my relationship improving much with my nephew. He doesn't seem interested (he won't even acknowledge when we speak to him) and I'm not really too terribly sorry about that. Terrible, I know.

I don't think you necessarily have to have a lovey-dovey bond with your nieces and nephews to have a good relationship, nor should you be expected to. I was only ever close with one of my uncles, and it wasn't because I saw him more or anything - we just had a connection. He also now has a connection with my oldest daughter, so maybe it's something to do with his nature and the fact that he doesn't have children of his own.

My own? My two oldest nieces are sisters and I enjoy talking with one better than the other, and that's just the truth. Of course, I never give them that feeling and I'm sure they'll never know. My youngest niece? I've honestly never met a child I liked less, and again, that's just the truth. But that's an exception...she's really not a nice young lady, and she has terrorized my oldest daughter (they are 8 months apart) since they were toddlers. I specifically make an effort to spend as little time as possible with them, but that's easy because they live 2000 miles away. I've never met my nephew, who's less than a year. :)

Don't feel like you have to have something just because someone else had it. What you have with them is special because it is what it is...they will grow out of their one topic, and it's a wonderful thing that they are good children that your own children can play with.

wow, this post really speaks to me!
my older brother has 2 grown children. the girl (young woman) adores me and oh, how i want to adore her back! she's brilliant and beautiful and has overcome a lot in her life (severe anorexia) and there's much about her that i admire and love. but she's soooooooooooo self-absorbed. her only topic of conversation is herself. i can listen attentively for about half an hour and then i'm done. i actively go out of my way to avoid her IRL because the endless melodrama just doesn't sit well with me any more.
her brother has cut himself off from our family altogether. i found him a somewhat snooty little boy, although my other family members claim he's really sweet if you get him one on one. i've never had the opportunity to see that.
another brother has two of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen, spectacular teenage bombshells. i got to spend time with them when they were in elementary school and really enjoyed them, especially the younger. but they are so spoiled that it's become harder to do as they've grown up. my brother is a single dad, working hard to support himself and his kids, and those girls do not lift one single finger to help. it's his fault (and his ex's) for never requiring them to do so, for sure. i went to help them ready their old house to sell, and practically had to bathe in bleach when i got done with the girls' bathroom. how those immaculate princesses could bear to use that sticky, disgusting, horrendous sty i cannot imagine. and the older's comment to me? 'i'm going to spend the next few days with my friend. i don't clean.'
and sure enough, she did.
they're very critical of anyone not as pretty as they (almost everybody in the world) and speak to their father alternately in tones of scorn and disgust, and wheedling little girl loviness.
i so WANT to adore them. i just don't.
and it must come across although i try to conceal it. that particular brother has made it clear that he doesn't care for my boys either, although of course my boys are perfect<G>.
but i'll say this, whatever my kids' flaws, they come through in a pinch. my parents are in the middle of a stressful move to a retirement home. my kids have spent days over there, scrubbing and painting and hauling and repairing. the girls would not set foot there if you literally paid them.
so your question brings up uncomfortable feelings in me. my aunts and uncles all loved me (or faked it really well) when i was a kid. i'd love to adore my nieces and nephew too. i wonder if there ARE things i could be doing to improve the relationship? or if i could? the only one who even welcomes an overture from me is the oldest one, and i'm almost afraid to contact her because she's all over me if i do!
i suppose i should work on that.
sigh.
khairete
S.

My niece was born 14 months before my daughter. You know the drawings of Dr. Seuss's Grinch when his heart grows three sizes? Well that was how I felt when I held my niece for the first time when she was only a few weeks old. I'm not sure motherhood would have appealed to me, had I not fell in love with my niece as a baby.

My relationship has changed with her as she's become older, especially since we've been raising her for the past few years. So I'm not sure it counts since now she's my baby too :-)

I have a 5 nieces through friendship. They are the children of two of my very best friends. One set is aged 4 and 7. The other 9, 13, and 16. So let's see, the 4 year old is a real talker and singer, with serious eyes. The 7 y/r old tends to have an easier time talking with adults than she does playing with children her own age. She loves to draw and discuss the world. The 9 y/r old is into clothing and dance. The 13 y/r old into sex education and reproductive justice. The 15 y/r old is in teenage angst and whoa-is-unto-me.

I love them all and that their personalities and interests are so different. It doesn't matter that I don't share 90% of their passions, we can still play with each other and kid around, talk about school and friends, what their fears and hopes are, and we do things like take family trips to the lake or ocean. That's really nice. Just loading up a few cars and caravanning out to a beautiful spot. That way we can all soak up the natural world and it doesn't so much matter the words we exchange. The magic is in the moment.

Not really. Oh I feel bad saying that...but my only niece and nephews (right now) are with my husband's sister and they are exactly like her...self centered and rude. My SIL is the only person I know that can call me on MY birthday and only talk about herself...as if that will just make my day to know ALL about her and hers. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy hearing about everyone elses lives, but with most people, its a back and forth...nope, not with her. So maybe my issue is mostly my SIL, but her kids are JUST like her...self centered, undisciplined and annoying. My brother (and only real sibling) is having a baby in March and I am beyond excited and hope for a better relationship with him/her. Knowing that my brother and I share the same views on discipline and parenting, I'm sure it will be more enjoyable being around his kids.

I only see 2 of my nieces and nephews often enough to have an opinion. My nephew, NO. I can't enjoy him. I know this sounds terrible, but he is the most difficult child I have ever been around. He does have some issues (sensory disorders,) and I think he has undiagnosed issues. know these things aren't his fault. However, his born personality...it's just not pleasant :( He's negative and very mean. He's only 3!! He is in therapies, I hope they start to help. When he's around, he sucks the joy out of everything. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to parent him. Even my parents struggle to enjoy him. It's sad, but we still love him dearly. I just can't be around him long without losing my head. He pesters my son to no end, and even he (who loves everyone!) asks to get away from him. I try, I REALLY do. I take him places, I do fun activities. I visit him (across the county.) The bond just hasn't happened. It's so difficult. I feel so sucked dry after I'm around him :(

My niece, I love being around. She is more then a niece to me, as I've helped raise her. She is one of the great joys of my life. The relationship we have developed from birth, so there is nothing special I did. It was just there, instantly.

You're not alone. I think many people don't exactly enjoy their sibling's kids.

I will soon have an Insta-Niece (my brother is marrying a girl who has a child from a previous relationship) and I do not anticipate TRULY enjoying spending a LOT of time with that little girl. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet little girl (only 1 month younger than my oldest), but she is SPOILED. During the two days we spent with them the last time I was in town, I saw at least one tantrum every hour. Admittedly, most of them were "minor" tantrums, but would have progressed to full-blown had mom tried to stand her ground. There were also 3-4 full-blown tantrums in that 2 day period. So, needless to say, although she seems to be a nice little girl, she also seems to get her way 99% of the time, and does NOT appreciate it when she doesn't. After those couple of days, I got to explain to my daughter (who was now upset with me) that different mommies have different rules, and just because R's mommy let's R do X doesn't mean I will let her. I forsee this being a conversation we have more times in the future as my daughter notices her new cousin doing all sorts of things that I won't let her. Ah well.... C'est la vie.

I have four nephews, five nieces, and two foster newphews that may or may not become my forever nephews. They range in age from just-turned-one to about-to-turn-twelve. I absolutely love and adore each and every one of them. That being said, there are times when I just can't be around one or more of them. My four nephews are brothers (from 2-8 years old) and are very loud, rambunctious, gross BOYS. Most of the time, their antics crack me up, and I love it. But every once in a while I just cannot be around them. It doesn't mean I love them any less. Heck, I'm sure there are days they don't want to be around me either!

I have to say I fell in love with my nieces and nephews, I just adore all of them. No matter what they talked about it was fun just listening to them. As they got older I feel the same way. Some are married and their wives call me Auntie and I know its because they feel the love.

my son has a little girl cousin almost his exact same age, and they are the only two grandkids.

it's awesome, i have to say :)

i wish we could spend more time with her.

the only hangups i ever have is that when we are ALL together, parents, kids, all - her parents (my brother and sil) are not very patient or consistent with her, so she is kind of a brat sometimes.

but when she is with just us, or with my mom, she's great. so i like spending time with her, especially at grandma's or our house.

it's not a huge deal now (at age 5) but i see huge drama in their future if they can't get it together. things like battling over food (UGH!), she asks 10x and on the 11th they give in (EVERY TIME), tattling, whining...normal kid stuff but when grandma or I am in charge it gets nipped in the bud quick.

can you take the kids and do something fun together, to "change the subject" a bit? i do think these relationships are so valuable and special...we should foster them as much as we can. that does mean overcoming familial "differences" that can sometimes be annoying...lol.

It sounds like you are speaking of your husbands side of the family. I have three nephews from his side and spent a lot of time with the oldest. He was one when I met my husband and they lived with us for a year when he was 3 - 4 years old. When they moved out, his parents divorced and he stayed with him Dad. I would take him for the weekends and would take him to the zoo, skiing, skateboarding, etc.

The other two could probably do with or without ME. They say hi and pretty much move along. Perhaps you never had the opportunity to spend time with them to build the bond.

no not at all my nephews and his nieces never have probably never will

Please don't feel guilty about how you feel -- you are clearly smart and self-aware because you are able to step back and assess how you really feel. Now put aside the guilt. You can love them without really liking them, or without being interested in what interests them. They are kids, so you as the adult are able to say to yourself, "They're kind of boring to me right now with the one-note conversations, but they''ll change."

You don't say what their ages are, or how much time you spend with them, or whether there are family expectations that you will spend heaps of time with them or babysit them, etc. But unless you are expected to have them in your care for long periods, don't stress over the fact they are one-topic kids. This is going to change as they get older, so just wait it out. Do not let your husband's aunt's adoration for him influence you into thinking you, too, must be totally adoring of your own nieces and nephews. You cannot force a bond. But they are elementary kids and wiill change and grow over tiime, so keep in touch and wait.

Also, be aware that if they are (as you put it!) "not horrible kids," and your own kids like them, you're doing fine and so are they. I wish I could like, or at least be neutral about, my own niece. A little perspective: Our niece (whom we see only once a year since they live overseas) is lovely, fun and charming at first (when the visit is new and she's interested in my daughter for the first 24 hours) but always by the time our visit is at an end, I am more than ready to see the back of her. She's rude and self-centered and most of all highly disrespectful to all adults including her parents and her elderly, infirm but very kind grandparents. I am already dreading next year and thinking of ways to shorten our time with her and her mom, whom I love but who has zero ability to discipline this girl and never has -- hence the results, a 12-year-old who is delightful at times but has never been disciplined. So you are doing fine, in my book!

I enjoy spending time with my nieces/nephews. My 13 yr old niece has got this whole attitude thing going on right now which I can't stand. She is fine with me but a right pain in the a** for her parents. lol Her 12 yr old brother is amazing, imaginative, polite, good to be around. The 9yr old brother is a bit of a whiner sometimes but can be good fun also. My other nephew who is 8 is a real cool dude. :-) So laid back, he is horizontal!! My 5yr old niece is a little comedian (soooo funny) and so much fun to be with, typical little girly girl. Lastly my little 1yr old niece is my chance at baby time - very cute. :-) I would say I have a special bond with them all and I love being with them but I do love going home to my nice quiet house with my daughter!! haha

I love family. And I can honestly say I love being around my neices and nephews. They are awesome kids and I love them so much :)

Just because I have kids doesn't mean it changes the way I feel about other people. That would be selfish to think I could not enjoy other kids just because I love my own so much.

i love all my nieces and nephews. one niece however drives me nuts because no one makes her listen (and i think she is add behaves just like my nephew whos add). the kid cant sit still for 2 mins. yes i get that she is 2 going on 3 but but my 15 month old nephew can sit through things she cant. but i think its the face he has rules she doesnt. by brother and her mom divorced before she turned one (married wwwaaaaaayyyyy too young!). but when she comes over for he weekend i blood pressure goes up. i can get her to mind just find when my step mom isnt around. i feel bad because its getting to the point i dread her coming over and that my own daughter doesnt want to play with her because she cant listen or stay in one spot.

I love my nieces and nephews and enjoy spending time with them. My kids and my nieces and nephews are close in age and we all live within a half hour of each other, so we get together a lot and they really enjoy each others company- and also fight like siblings! My family is very close, and I had a close relationship with most of my cousins and still do- so our kids are like first cousins too. That being said, ofcourse there are parenting differences which can cause for some awkward moments, but I respect my siblings and know that we all enjoy the bond we have with each other and our kids. If you want a bond with your nieces and nephews, make it a point to do age appropriate fun things with them. We vacation with my brothers and their kids where the parents can sit on the beach and the kids can swim, kayak etc. At family parties we set up slip-n-slides and fun games so everyone is having fun... when everyone is having fun together it creates a stress free environment where people can relax and bond. It really isn't something you can force, but just try to find some common ground and fun activities you can do as a group.

I have four nephews and five nieces (aged 17 to 30), and I like them all. I have watched them all grow up, although we only get together at the holidays. They are all older than my kids and have always entertained my kids at get togethers since my kids were born.

I adore my nieces and nephews. For 18 years it was only my in-laws' children that I got to be an auntie for, and then a year ago my brother and his wife had a little girl that I get to be Godmother for. I adore each and every one of those children from my 20 year old nephew to my 1 year old niece. My Goddaughter is the light of my life, next to my own daughters. I love my husband's nieces and nephews like my own, as well. My husband's youngest sister is having another baby in December and I can't wait.

So yes, I really do genuinely enjoy spending time around them. They're all wonderful children from babyhood to teenhood and older. I'm proud of all of them.

It doesn't sound like you have a relationship with them. It doesn't sound like you want to. If you we're willing to make an effort, you could try and introduce more topics for conversation. They're kids, you have to engage them. It 's amazing that we want and hope others will embrace our children but we are quick to call someone else's kids brats and have no tolerance for them. If you don't see them often -just fake. They might not really like you either. LOL

Things might change as they get older, maybe not. I happen to enjoy my nephew and I may see him once a month.

I have three kids ages from 4-20 yrs. and alot of nieces and nephews who are between the ages 2-16 and I found the one common thing I can discuss or do with them is take them shopping and let them pick out something they enjoy, like a barbie toy then I play with them for a few, or the older ones may like a certain movie which I will watch with them. Even if i don;t get what there into there my family and nothing is more important. Also sometimes just taking them to Mc donalds we will spend time talking about what there inteseted in. Hope this helps.

Sadly no. My nephew is only 5 and my niece 1, so that may change. funny, I always thought I would have a bond with them since I was there when my SIL gave birth to both of them, but they live an hour a way and I find my nephew to be a whiney irritating child. He is consumed by video games and I have no idea what he is saying 80% of the time. It doesn't help that my SIL and my MIL and FIL think that both of her kids are the most wonderful and gorgeous children on earth and judge other children against them. And they are not the most wonderful or gorgeous. My nephew is very chill, only wanting to play by himself with his video games. Enter my son who is high energy and my daughter who wants attention and we have "difficult" kids. But hey, the relationship goes both ways. My SIL is more happy to hear how my kids are doing than to spend time with them also.

Switch care of them - Let them spend the night with you and yours spend the night with them. Play a video game with them, take them shopping and let them choose something.

The feelings are still there, they have just changed now that you have children of your own to focus on. When I was single, I adored my niece and nephew, but now that I have my own kids, I don't love them less, I have just changed focus.