Do You Feel Different About Your Husband's Neice/nephew vs Your Bro/sis Children

I do. I try not to show it, though. I don't feel as close to my nephew (my SIL's child) who was born prior to my relationship with my husband as I do to my nephew who was born after I married my husband. This could also be based on their personalities. The younger one is fun, the older one...kind of a brat. I do feel closer to my nieces, my sister's children, because I speak to my sister and her children far more often than I speak to my SIL. However, I feel closer to my first niece than to her sister because I was there for her birth, etc. and was living in a different state when my second niece was born. I love them all but if I were forced to take only two on a zoo trip I would pick the oldest niece and the youngest nephew.

My brothers don't have children yet...
But it has been made fairly clear that I am not a "true aunt" to my SIL's children.
And it's sad, because I tried really hard for a long time...A person can only take so much rejection.

So that being said I look forward to having blood nieces/nephews one day-hopefully their potential wives don't think I'm a big ol' B. ;)

My husband and I BOTH feel closer to the nieces/nephews on MY side of the family. The truth is that my husband isn't close to his sisters (not his choice and not for lack of trying). His sisters' kids have never really been the kind of kids who would want to talk to you or even say hello or be interested in a hug.

Eeeww... your MIL's comment is like nails on a chalkboard!
LOL
Ick.

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Different?? Like when my hubby and I got married and I already had a child, then when we had our first together, people said it was different now because she was his first. Really?? He had adopted my son and considered him his first. Still does.

People like that are..... ugh, sorry she is your MIL. You are right to ignore her.

My sister's kids are in the same age range as ours. His sister's kids are 2, 4, and 6. Very much younger than ours. We love them all dearly.
I call them all my nieces and nephews as he does. It's all family.

My husband's sister had 2 kids before I met him, and then it's been a rocky road between his family and I. When we are visiting we are close, but not like I am with my sister's daughter. And I think part of that has to do with the relationship my husband has with his family - much more distant than I am with my family. His brothre just had twins a year ago and no one even bothered to send me pictures...so it's not all on me or them, it's just the way it is.

Oh my goodness no! I love them all the same! In fact, my niece is here right now for 10 days (she's 19) and I look forward to her visits every summer and HATE when she has to leave. She is my ex-husband's brother's daughter. She really doesn't care to hang out with either of them.

My sister's kids come visit as well. I really do feel connected to each one of them in special ways and love them all the same. I do know people who feel the same as your MIL does. To each his own. Don't let her snarky comments ruin things for you. You can't change her and she can't change you.

My husband and I are very excited about our nieces and nephews and love them no matter what side of the family they came from. However, your mother in law might be onto something when she says that it is "different." Although I completely agree that your husband has been an uncle for the past five years (which it sounds like your mil does not), it might be different for your husband when his sister has a child because it is his sister. I think it really stems from the relationship with his sister, and he might feel a special bond with the new niece because of the relationship he has with his sister. That would be something that I would understand.

We (me and my husband) may feel differently about our siblings/inlaws, but not about our nieces and nephews. They are both 100% ours. I love them equally. Of course we have been together for 21 years and the oldest niece is almost 6. We became an aunt and uncle at the same time.

I do. I am not close to my husbands siblings, we live on the other side of the country and while I like them and their kids, I just don't have the same relationship to them that I have to my sister and her kids. I am sure my husband feels the same vice versa - he has never even met all of my sister's kids (just some of them and most just once).
I lived with my sister and her older kids before I was married, helped raise them when they were babies and we stay at their house for a month every year when we visit (without DH, who has to work). We also skype every week.
I think it would be pretty odd not to feel closer to them than to DH's sibs and their kids, who we see much less of and maybe call to say hi a few times a year.

I LOVE them all the same :-) my brother has one son and 2 step-sons, I ADORE them !!!! Mikes sister has two kids, boy and girl who I ADORE !!!!!
your MIL's a Real Jackass !

I do have to say tho, Mike IS closer to his sisters kids then to my brothers boys.....

I love my husband's brothers kids as much as I love my siblings children. I also feel the same love towards my God children who are my best friends kids. Your mother-in-law does not sound like a nice person.

I love them all and all the same amount...all five and even my great niece (whom I never met). Four of the five are my from my husbands side (all born before I knew my husband). However, I am closer to my sisters son, mostly due to the fact that he spends a lot of time at my house.

Just because I'm closer to him, doesn't mean I love him more than the others.

I LOVE my nieces and nephews from both sides of the family equally, but my sister lives in the same area as me, and my SIL lives 1500 miles away. So, we are not CLOSE with my SIL's kids, but I love them to pieces!

I think I am lucky, my husband' niece's and nephews all treat me as a blood aunty, and our extended family accepts and loves all the children. My hubby's nieces and nephews come and play at my mom's place, and it's all lovely. My SIL (brother's wife) howeverput on her Facebook status last year, 'i am finally going to be an aunty!' because her brother was expecting (you know what I mean). For a split second I felt really sorry for my children because theynlove their aunty Megan, and we thought she felt the same.

I have 3 nephews that my husband became very close too when we started dating 8 years ago. I am very close to my older sister and so my 3 nephews are almost like my own children. We were married 6 years ago and now have our own children. My husbands sister started having kids about the same time we did but it's as if my husband cold care less. He's not close to the neices or nephews on his side of the family. I don't know why but he's still very close to my nephews.

All's I can say is Family is Family. J.

Updated

All's I can say is Family is Family. J.

I have to say that I do see them differently but I think that, for me, it is as much about circumstances. Half of my husband's nieces and nephews were born before we ever met and the other half were born before we were even engaged. Then add to that the fact that my in-laws live 1000 miles away and we only see his nieces and nephews about once a year if that.

I only have one nephew on my side of the family. My sister lives about 10 miles from us and we work at the same University so we see them much more often. I certainly would never treat them differently, I just don't know them very well. I also think that with my sister's son my feelings for him are associated with my relationship with my sister and how adding our children are a continuation of the relationship and closeness of our family growing up. So, yes, I do think of them differently but I don't think it's better just different. If I had a close relationship with my husband's family and had been around when they were born, I might have a completely different view.

I wouldn't pay any attention to you MIL, she is probably just excited about her new grandchild and if she doesn't really know your siblings and nieces and nephews, she probably just isn't thinking about it.

We are closer to my siblings children but then again, his brother has one adoptive daughter (brat!) and an adult foster son (always a bit standoffish). Love them both but the others have been in our life since infancy and we all bonded more.

Whenever I hear a comment like that (us or concerning others) I will say something like "you mean again".

I was just thinking about this yesterday! I have one sister, she has one son. My husband has one brother (who is a delinquent and 8 years younger) and he has no children, thank God. I have wondered how my husband feels about our nephew, I mean he loves him and all, but I wonder if it is different. I would ask him but I know all I get will be a shrug, I would be better off asking a brick wall. I don't think I would feel any different about his brothers children, should he decide to have them, but I guess you never know till it happens.

There have been a few similar questions about this... I have to say, I'm scared to death of when my brother (the one 2 years younger) has kids, because I never see my brother, and I'm afraid I'm never going to see his kids! I can't WAIT to be an aunt!!

I can say I am closer to SOME of my sides nieces and nephews..but I have known them longer than even my hubby (and we celebrate our 20th anniversary next week!). I became an Auntie when I was 7 years old and that particular niece is one of my closest friends and confidants. She and I are more like sisters (her mom and I, who ARE sisters, are 12 years apart...so my niece and I are even closer in age to each other!). When my youngest half brother was born, he was already an Uncle and went to school (same grade, same school--Graduation was FUN) with 2 of his nephews! Teachers were very confused!

But mostly I treat all 19 nieces and nephews (ages 10 mos-35 years old) and the 5 Great nieces and nephews (ages 6 mos-10 years old) in a similar fashion. I am just closer to a few because of how often I see them or how close I am to their parents. Its a very interesting family!

I love them all the same! :)

I love my sisters' and brother's sons and daughters. I'm a certified doting aunt to these lovely little kids.

but my husband's nieces? that's another story. I live in his house with his two nieces and their mom.

I couldn't stand being around them. And the thought of his MIL forcing us to be their surrogate parents should their mom think about running away from her responsibilities just... I dunno... revolting.

Mean, I know. but those kids are spoiled, unruly and messy. Their mom's always around but she doesn't seem to give a hoot about them.