I am currently going through a really hard time. I am a childless mother. My mother has custody of my daughter due to my relapse, and I am having a really hard time finding a great treatment place that is non profit and accepts children. I have an addiction to opiates and am in need of help. And am also suffering from manic depression and feel stuck. I feel as if I am alone and feel very lost. I also feel a huge amount of guilt and shame that I could choose something over my daughter, who is my world, I am on the very verge of giving up.Back to my question I was wondering if there were other mothers out there who went through what I am going through right now and I am mostly seeking comfort here. Thank you all!
Just wanted to give you a virtual hug - hang in there. Keep praying that you can turn this situation around. I truly believe that God hears our prayers.
One day at a time . . . keep moving forward. Praying for you.
(I hope that I am understanding you correctly-if not I apologize)
If you can't find a place that accepts children can you just do it yourself and then get your daughter back once you are clean? Don't beat yourself up about being an addict...so many people are. It has claimed the best of them to be sure. And the nature of the beast is unfortunatley that we hurt those we love the most. Just make your plan on how to get clean. You CAN do this. This link contains many resources for you in Seattle:
Don't give up! Your little one needs you! Try to find a support group in your area.
Addiction to opiates is really hard to kick., but it CAN be done. My friend's husband got addicted after undergoing several knee operations. His surgeon actually set him up with resources to get him help.
I can't say I've personally gone through what you are going through, but I'll send positive thoughts your way.
Keep your eye on the prize!
Take good care of yourself so you can be reunited with your precious daughter.
Best wishes to you!
Hi there,
I just want to commend you for coming and asking for help. It takes alot of courage to ask for help. I don' t have any pearls of wisdom for you, but just wanted to say that I wish you the best with your recovery process. I know you will find the right fit of a treatment program. Have you looked out of state? Maybe you could ask the county you live in for a list of possible places? I hope you get the treatment you need and are able to be reunited with your daughter in time. Remember, one day at a time and easy does it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and you have a disease--- its an addiction, just remember that if you stay focused on your recovery, and take it one day at a time, you will stay clean and sober. Good luck to you.
Hugs,
Molly
A.,
I have not been in your shoes, but I know people who have. And probably worse--homeless, no idea where their kids were, etc....horrible.
It CAN be turned around.
Honey, get to and NA meeting immediately, using or not.
Get a sponser, you will find support, resources and so much acceptance and love.
You are not a bad person, you are a sick person. Obviously you are under the powerful control of drug usage or you would never (with a clear mind) choose drugs over your little girl.
If you are in "relapse" you have had a period (or more) of sobriety. You can have that again.
It gets greater later.
God Bless. And good luck to you!
Please don't give up. Your daughter needs you! My mother was bipolar and committed suicide when I was 17. Obviously, it was horrible and has affected my whole life. If your daughter is being well-cared for by your mom, you could really focus on getting well and not worry about finding a program that accepts children if that's not possible. At a minimum you could go to free support groups until you find a program, e.g. NA.
call your county's health and human services dept., local service clubs (like the elks or moose) or churches and ask if they know of any types of places like you are looking for. .here in northern california there is a place called Acres of Hope. it's a live-in recovery program for women with children. it's sponsored by a large church and donations from the community. good luck!
I just want to let you know that you CAN quit...I have been in terrible accidents and have had numerous surgeries with not good results and have become addicted to my pain meds a few times - not just once.
I QUIT COLD TURKEY each time. It was the pits, but I did it. I drank a lot of tea with honey and milk and ate lots of protein and other things I really loved and I sat in a room for 3 days straight once getting over the terrible aches and pains associated with withdrawal. And I took hot baths and listened to music and slept and slept and slept and it was over.
I think you need to focus on getting yourself better first before finding a program that accepts kids. Leave your kid out of this until you are on your feet and can be really there for her.
Say thank you to your mom for watching her while you recover. Call churches and join a Celebrate Recovery program. They have lots of contacts and referrals. Stay clean honey, you can do it. I will pray for you too.
You might be eligible for free treatment through the state (through the ADATSA program you may be able to get Medicaid to go through chemical dependency treatment). The link below should give you more information and will direct you to an application.
https://fortress.wa.gov/dshs/f2ws03esaapps/onlinecso/ADAT...
If you qualify, you may be able to get into a five day detox program (depending on the facility, you will be given suboxone to get through the initial withdrawals), followed by an inpatient rehab. Most likely, you would also be able to/be required to go to outpatient program once your inpatient stint was complete.
There are several programs in W. Washington that allow and treat mothers and their children. Swedish Hospital has an excellent chemical dependency program and they have a program for pregnant women, but I'm not sure if that extends to women with infants. It would be worth a phone call, especially as they take Medicaid.
The difficulty with getting drug counseling and services through ADATSA is that the paper work takes time to process and you will also have to wait for a bed to open in a facility that meets your needs.
ETA: If you are looking for dual rehabilitation (addiction/mental health), Providence Saint Peter Hospital, in Lacey WA, has a program that is really great. They also take Medicaid.
There are a TON of resources here, locally. From inpatient, to outpatient, to relapse prevention, to aftercare, oxford housing, to even group houses specific to single mothers with children. TONS, you just need to get dialed in.
If the opiates you got addicted to are Rx's, I'd strongly suggest that you go to the Prescription Med Group held at Residence12 in kirkland every week. Call them for the day and time. It's similar to an NA meeting, but it's chaired by one of the counselors.
http://www.residencexii.org/ ###-###-####
Residence xii is also just a pretty killer resource in general. They're non-profit, but they're not a state org.
If it's not Rx's, they have another meeting there as well, but there are also tons of NA meetings all over. Not sure where you are located, but in general Eastside tends to be more solution based. Possibly in part because the 2 best treatment centers in the state are on the eastside (Lakeside Milam, and ResidenceXII). Both Lakeside & Rez12 are tremendous resources.
Childhaven will also take your children for ONE 30 day residential treatment stint (aka house and care for them and have them in counseling)... but if your mother has them currently, it sounds like you don't need them to be in care for treatment?
I am not sure what your actual question is here, however I hope you are able to find the help you need and get things back in order. Good on you for realizing your issues and looking for ways to better yourself and your family situation.
I watched my best friend go through addiction. It was gut wrenching and I truly hope you get treatment so that you can be with your daughter again. My prayers are with you.
I don't have any experience in this area, or know anyone who does, but I wanted to say that I am very inspired by your post. You are strong to ask for help, and to reach out to us fellow moms. I don't think you are a bad person, you're just dealing with being sick. I will be thinking of you and praying for you often, in the hopes that you can get clean and that your depression lifts and that you can make a life for yourself once again. You CAN do it, I know you can. I'll be pulling for you. Thank you so much for your post.
I have no experience with what you are going through. But, if kicking drugs were as simple as making a choice, there would be no such thing as rehab. So don't add beating yourself up to the list of things you are facing. I hope you find what you are looking for and get the help you need.
A.,
I want to break out pom-poms, reading your post, I just want to cheer you on!
My cousin was an addict, she had a baby with her boyfriend who was worse than she. It took one night when he held her and the baby at gun point for her to work at getting better.
I don't know the process she went through, but I can tell you her son is grown and he loves her very much. AND, she married a very nice man, had a daughter a couple years ago and just gave birth to another healthy little boy.
She has a wonderful job and we are all very proud of her.
Bless your heart, I can't imagine how difficult some days must be. But after reading all the replies I hope your heart is lifted and you see how many people are cheering you on.
Many prayers,
DJ
