8 Mo Old Pinches My Arms

First off, you're doing a great job and keep doing it!!
My daughter pinched around the same age too (and every once in a great while, still does) only she'd pinch my breasts.
I found that making sure I kept her nails trimmed helped. I'd redirect her hand to something else, sometimes my shirt but it's a comfort thing. Sometimes I would cry out a little bit and it would startle her (she'd surprise me with a good pinch) and I think that my reaction scared her a little and helped it stop but I can't be sure.
As for your daughter "being spoiled" NO, she's comfortable, safe and secure and you're doing a good thing. Sounds to me as though you're doing the right thing for your baby (and cosleeping does not cause problems, that's After my kids would fall asleep, as they were older, I found they'd stay asleep longer when I put them down on their stomachs not backs (never when they were younger though but after they were able to roll over back and forth) after I'd lay them down, I'd keep a hand on their back until I knew they were settled. My son had no problems transitioning to his big boy bed when it was time (he's almost 13 now!) and my daughter sleeps in her own crib but right next to our bed. Unless she's got a stuffy nose or teething, she sleeps through the night just fine.
I would look at how much she's eating right before bed (is she cluster feeding? Are you giving her a snack before bed maybe of a veggie or fruit?) and how long are her naps during the day? Is she maybe taking too long of naps?
I'd also evaluate the light in her sleeping areas. I put my daughter down for naps in the daylight but at night, no lights so she can set her circadian clock. She's pretty much down to a science as to when she goes to sleep and when she wakes up :) Make sure she's had enough to eat, the room she's sleeping in doesn't have any artificial lights, look at the temperature, is she too hot? Too cold? (since she sleeps better with you maybe she's cold?) When she does wake up in the night, try just putting your hand on her back first to see if that will settle her.

You don't have to stop nursing (and you shouldn't until you and your daughter are both ready- the formula advertisers clearly did a great job in making breastfeeding abnormal that it carries over to this day even though there's tons of information about extended nursing. Quick story, I picked up a pregnancy book from the 1970's in a book store. It recommended that if you were feeling anxious to smoke a cigarette to relax. Just because something was considered normal 20-30 years ago doesn't mean it was right.) she can learn to drink from a cup and still continue to nurse. My daughter does both just fine. :)

Don't pinch back or slap her hand. Seriously, an 8 month old doesn't have the cognitive processes yet to even connect the two and definately doesn't realize that by pinching she is hurting you. Just push her hand away and don't react- kids do start doing things around this age when they realize it gets a reaction.

Secondly, perhaps this is the perfect time to deal with the larger situation and address the problem that is causing you so much frustration. I totally don't like cry it out, either, and it doesn't work (emotionally) for a lot of families. But that doesn't mean you're stuck with rocking her to sleep every night, which obviously isn't working for you, either. Whatever you do might be a little rough and she will probably cry some, but a few nights of misery are totally worth getting rid of the frustration and getting the sleep you need. Look for a book that fits your parenting style- I like the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. Lots of people like the No Cry Sleep Solution. Don't just be miserable though! Empower yourself and do something about it! Just keep in mind, the more gentle a method is, the longer it takes (Cry it out usually works in 3 days, The Baby Whisperer a little longer, etc).

My daughter pinches me when I hold her but I thinks she's just doing it to have something to hold on to, so I just lighly move her hand or tuck it under me somehow and there have been a few times where i've tapped her hand to get her to stop it. She only does it every now and then. But I am wondering does your daughter breastfeed or bottle feed? If she bottle feeds try adding some rice cereal in her bottles to help her get full so she can sleep through the night. It worked wonders for both of my girls. My oldest daughter kind of needed it because she was having reflux issues so the doc suggested making her milk thicker and my youngest was a pig and always wanted to eat so they suggested adding it to fill her up.

It could be that your daughter isn't full at night and she wakes up often because she's hungry. Try that if she is bottlefeeding and see if that changes her sleep habits. Also have you tried the miracle in the purple bottle? I forget the name of it but it's the johnson and johnson bath stuff that puts them to sleep? That worked well with the combination cereal. I had no problems keeping them sleep at night.

Also do you try putting on music when she sleeps? My girls are in school now and they play classical music during nap time, try something like that.

This is soothing for her, that is why she is doing it. Same reason some kids have to rub a blanket or pick at their Mom's mole (sounds crazy but I know a few Mom's who've been through that). I would NOT hit her or pinch her back. She is NOT doing this to hurt you.

Let's go back to the beginning of your request... you said, "she has to be rocked back to sleep because she is spoiled and we don't want to cry it out" In my opinion, she is not spoiled because she has to be rocked to sleep. Many babies need help getting to sleep. Usually the ones that were trained through the cry it out method, only stop crying because they learn that no one is coming to get them. Why bother. You are doing the right thing, you just need to tweak it a bit so you don't grow resentful. Putting your baby to sleep should be a joyful time. Does she have a little blankie or stuffed animal she can hold on to rather than your arm? The part she is pinching on - can you cover it with a blanket or something so she can't get to the skin? That is the first thing I'd try, if the pinching can't be prevented than I'd handle it the same way we breastfeeding Mom's have to handle an occasional biter. Just a firm NO, then maybe set her down, or change her position?

I understand your frustration, mine did not sleep through the night until 2 years old. Once I accepted this, I was able to enjoy our nights. You sound like you are doing a great job, just need a little break. Can hubby take over for a few nights and do the rocking?

Best wishes,
M.

My son did that too, especially while eating off of me. I had small bruises on my arms all the time. He mostly did it when he was overly tired. He also pulled at his hair when he was overly tired. It took me awhile to realize his tired signals. I kept waiting for yawns or something more obvious.

Try your best to refrain from pinching back or slapping her hand. She doesn't realize she's hurting you and I doubt she would get the connection if you did it back to her. Just remove her hand as many times as it takes. Saying no might make the issue worse because she might think the reaction she's getting is funny, so try your best not to verbally react at all (yeah, I know, how do you not react when it hurts like that? My son also used to bite my nipples and you should have heard some of my screams/gasps. My husband would come running wondering if the world was coming to an end).

I really like the blanket idea that other moms suggested. She is at the right age to develop a comfort item that helps her be apart from you. They sell these cute mini blankets at Target (some even have a rubber-like teething section) that are nice because they're specifically for comfort, not for warmth and are considered safe to put in their cribs. Whatever you decide to try to develop as the comfort item (sometimes it takes awhile, just keep giving it to her even if she rejects it initially), make sure that you get two (or even three) of them so when one needs washing (or eventually completely wears out), you have another on hand. My son decided just recently that he loves a specific blanket and I fortunately had another one just like it but in a different color. He seems to like them both equally. I've been trying to get him to like one of those small blankets that I was referring to, but I think it's too late now. Now he drags these larger blankets around the apartment and chews on them 'cause he's teething and I'm washing one almost every day!

When you are holding her, give her a blanket to hold onto. Once she's asleep you can then put her down with the blanket. When you lay her down in the crib hold her so she can't move for a minute. Then slowly release the pressure.

Good luck!
N.

I have no suggestions to the not sleeping thru the night, two of my three kids did not sleep thru the night until after they were one! But my last one I guess decided to give me a break and has been sleeping all night since he was only a few months old! But he is also my pincher, and at 2.5 he still does it! He only seems to do it during cuddle time, I keep just moving his hand to his blanket so he has something to hold onto to. I spoiled all my kids too, and when you are trying to put one to sleep the last thing a tired mommy wants to do is slap at a hand! My middle child liked to twirl my hair when we cuddled but did outgorw it by 3, so I am hoping that my baby will outgrow this too. I can just put all my kids to bed now, but I like to get in a cuddle with each one before I put them in bed. As a mom who spoiled all her kids, this too shall pass, as you baby grows you both will find what works to make changes in the bedtime. I so like the bedtime soaps and the cuddles and the bottles and rocking; eventually I got braver and would start to put them down RIGHT before they fell asleep and soon they just went to bed. Good luck, and in my opinion you are doing a great job keeping your baby happy and secure. None of my kids (9, 4 and 2.5) have seperating issues and they are VERY secure with them selves.

Hi A. I wouldn't pinch an 8th month old baby, I know when i would rock my babies to sleep they always grasp part of my clothing, i don't know if that gave them security or what, but all 3 of them did that, try giving her a small blanket to hold in the hand that she usese to pinch you. be calm while you rock her, if you are frustrated, then she feels thather waking, also you created the bed time feasco by allowing her to sleep in your bed, number one rule for sleeping baby, is put them in their own bed, if she wakes up in the night, at8 months old, don't go get her, all's that 9does is create a patern of her waking up, also at 8 months old i would take her off the breast and give her a cup. And she is probabbly taking short naps from being used to her back while sleeping, babies who are slept on their tummys sleep longer than babies put on their backs. If placeing something soothing in her little hands doesn't work, then try taping her hands and telling her NO in a very firm voice, her hands are small so, you do want her to fill it at the same time you don't want to to tap them to hard. Babies know how to maipulater at a very small age, and they all do it, in my case I always made sure that my babies/chuldren realized they are the child I am the parent and I am in charge, parents today, in my opinion breast feed to long, and give their babies/children enough power to cause frustration to the parents, itis not supposed to be like that. Mom for 24 years J.