21 Month Old Has a Pinching Habit

My daughter did this too, but eventually grew out of it. I don't know that anything I did was helpful in stopping her. I remember that I'd grab her hand in mine when I felt her feelign around for a good spot to pinch.

Good luck!

My daughter did that only it evolved into quite a pinch. She did grow out of it. I would say just keep trying something else.

Good luck!

Yes my daughter did the same thing but instead of skin she would rub my hair (or her own, or her fathers...) between her fingers! So luckily for us it did not hurt or become a problem. Sorry to hear she is keeping you up at night. The co-sleeping arrangement might have to change. I will be interested to see what others have to say on this.

By the way, when she was old enough to talk, she called it "twinkling"!

R. W

I know this is probably frustrating for you but I can't help but smile : ) I used to do something similar to MY mother when I was younger. I would nurse and play with my mothers mouth and as I got older (yes... this lasted until I was about 5 yrs!) I would suck my thumb and strum my mother's lips. She has eczema so she would break out sometimes and I would not be able to do that. I'm sorry I cant really offer any advice but I know that even though it may have bothered my mother then, now that I am 23 years old, she longs for those moments... cherish them :)

Hi Joanne,
My son started this too. Again as an infant but at about 6 mons when this started and talked to him and said "Mommy wants to nurse you but if you pinch me I have to stop". He'd pinch I'd stop and about 5 times cured it. I got the advice from another mom and it worked.

At 21 months it may take longer but talk to her and let her know Mommy is going to get up if you pinch. I think it might work even better if you go to bed at the same time. We co-sleep too and I usually put him down first and then I go to bed 2 hours later but my son loves it when we go to bed at the same time I think all kids do so to take that away may be a good motivator.

Our 10 month old does the exact same thing. I just thought he would grow out of it. He nurses/co-sleeps and doesn't take a pacifier or "lovey" of any kind....I think they do it when they are really relaxed and comfortable. Sorry i don't have any answers for you but at least you know your bab isn't the only one who does it ;0)

I am not sure about the pinching habit. However, there was a episode on Nanny 911 about kids sleeping in their own beds. My son was exteremly hard baby and toddler. He never wanted to take naps or go to bed. After watching that episode I tried a few new things and it worked. First I tried sitting on the edge of the bed instead of laying down with him. Next night I would stand by the door. The next night I would reassure him that he was safe and we love him and he does need to go to bed. Each time he would walk out to see my husband and I would pick him up and put him back to bed. Do not look at him or talk to him. Just pick him up and put him in bed. Say goodnight, I love you. Keep doing that until he stops and falls asleep. This is extremely hard but it will work. My child used to think of everything to say to pull at my heart strings. The first night, he got up 20 times. I was in tears. But, the next night it decreased to about 8. Each night got to be less and less until he finally just went to bed. It will be very rewarding to get to this point. I felt like we finally helped him reach the next step in childhood and overcome this. Now, if he has a bad dream and wakes up in the night that is different. I would comfort him. He is 7 now and such a great kid. I hope this might be somewhat helpful. Hang in there.

I have a 29 month-old and she does almost the same thing. She soothes herself by holding her hand up to my cheek. I have also tried introducing something else but she has resisted. I've just tried to accept it. Some kids have bears or blankies, our kids have us!They've gotta grow out of it eventually. Sorry I'm not more help. I was excited someone else has the same thing going on!

I'm not sure if we are talking about the same thing but my daughter since she was about 2or3 months old would do something really similar. She would place her hand on top of my arm and pull on the hairs on my arm. Almost pinching but more grasping on to the hair on my arm. She did this every night before I put her down for bed. As I would rock her or just hold her in my arms she would grab on and start pulling at the hairs. She continued this until she was about 2 1/2. Then it just stopped. She doesn't do it anymore. I would say give it a few more months and your daughter may grow out of it too.

I feel for you! My son flicked my moles (it was more like a soft pinch) repeatedly to soothe himself. In fact, I never thought twice about what moles I do have until his "flicking" became a problem for me. It has taken until he was 3 years old for him to break the habit. The process was painstakingly slow and there were many times I wanted to scream. Unfortunately, my 10 month old daughter has the same pinching and rolling the skin between her fingers habit when she nurses as your daughter does. My experience with our son is that there is no substitute, only breaking the habit. I think the same will end be true for dd. Good luck to you 4!

I am a preschool teacher to a girl who does this. I couldn't figure out why she did it, but your post explains it. She would always do it when we were holding hands walking somewhere (to the playground, bathroom, etc..). I would say if it doesn't hurt let her do it. When she is asleep she isn't consciously doing it. It is ingrained in her to do this to soothe herself at night. My son sucked his thumb, my daughter loved her blankie. Every child has their own thing that soothes them. This is your child's.

Hi, how about having her caress her ear??? This is what my 21 month old daughter does to soothe herself. She has been doing so since about 4 months old, now she likes to hold on to our ears if we are carrying her and she is tired, but we redirect her to her ear when we put her down in her crib for naps and bedtime. Or she does it to herself whenever... Try redirecting her to her ear, hope this gives you an idea!

Hi Joanne. If you think she is going after the softness of your skin, perhaps she would like one of those products called a Silkie (or something like it). It sounds like you have tried soft things so maybe this idea is a lost one. But a Silkie is about a 12" x 12" 'blanket' with very soft cotton on one side and a silk type material (some type of polyester) on the other. There are lots of look-alikes out there that work just as well. Every child I know who has one loves them. You can find them at baby stores...especially specialty baby stores. Here is a link with a picture of a silkie type product. I'm not suggesting you buy here....this is just a picture. http://www.ladybugsandlilypads.com/Giraffe-Travel-Silkie-...

The fact that she is almost two years old and hasn't found a replacement for your chin may make it harder to replace her habit with something else, but with persistence and a silkie, it may work. Good luck!

I strongly discourage sleeping with your children. It is a very hard habit to break for the parents and children. It is also very important that your husband and you get private intimacy time. Don't forget how important sex is to a man. I say this because my husband and I have recently re-evaluated our sex life . We were just getting lazy in taking the time to make it exciting and fun. As far as the pinching while your nursing issue; I did this... It sounds cruel but my daughter would scratch my gums when I nursed her and I bit her finger and she only attempts until i bite down a little and she gets the point.

It sounds like your daughter is using this "pinching" as a connection method with you. Let her know that the pinching hurts your feelings and try to have her place her hands you on instead. She probally needs that closeness - Children can not compute the words NO or Don't, when they hear "don't pinch" they compute it as its okay to pinch. There is a fantasic book called "Connection Parenting" by Pam Leo. Your daughter loves you and this is her way of letting you know, at 21 months she is doing the best she can. :)

I too have a 21 month old. His habit is/was pulling on my hair. He loved to hold onto my hair while he nursed and this has continued on since I have weaned him. He then started to twirl my hair in his hands as he went to sleep or for comfort. This of course became an annoying habit that was on occasions painful if he pulled my hair. I started tying my hair back when I put him to bed and having him hold my finger instead. It has taken a couple of weeks but he now pretty much is happy to go to bed without twirling/pulling my hair. He'll still try to stroke my hair every now and then and I've had to be strong to not let him get back into the habit - I have to admit, even though it was annoying/painful it was "our special time". Hope this helps

You already know you have to "wean" her pinch or tactile need gently but firmly. You know our little ones are smarter in so many ways. Repalce her tactile needs to various hard to soft peices of cloth and when she finds the right one, go to the fabric store and purhcase that peice for her. Sometimes the less verbal and positive verbal the best works....Just some thoughts.

The first thing you need to do is to start putting her in her own bed during the day, and slowly put her there at night. It will take some time, but she will need to learn to start sleeping in her own bed.

As for the touching and pinching, it is her way of comfort. Just like a favorite blanket, or doll. It will take time to break her of this also. It will go hand in hand with putting her in her own bed. Does she have a favorite toy or blanket? You can try to put this item in bed with her.

My kid has a similar problem. I don't know when he started but he soothes by pinching or scratching his head/ears. It's a bad habit he learned. It started because he was itching due to the eczema but now it's so bad. He's scarring his head and draw blood because he is pinching so hard. I tried the same things...by replacing or removing his hand. It works sometimes. My husband and I also distract him with activities. THis seems to work. You may need to consider having your child sleep in their crib or own bed. THis might help to eliminate the noise for you and your husband. But as for the pinching...you're doing the right things. Hmmm....

Hi,
We had a similiar issue with our 16 month old. She was co-sleeping with us and she would sit up in the bed and want a drink of water evry 10 minutes it was horrible. Just last week we moved her to a crib in her own room. It has been great. She cries for about 5 to 10 minutes and then she sleeps all night. I am very happy with her in her own room because now I have some room in my own bed. I wish I had a little more advice, but you need to put her in her own bed eventually.

you can try holding her hand while she is asleep like what couples do all the together. but if it doesnt work you could bye baby mittens. and for scraching babys you could try scraching them lightly were they scratch most, or rub the area were they scrath most .