9 Month Old Is Pinching Me.

Updated on June 10, 2008
S.S. asks from Archbald, PA
13 answers

My daughter pinches my arms very hard when she is tired and nursing. It hurts and leaves bruises. I tried re-directing, giving her other things to squeeze, brushing her hands away, etc, but she gets very upset and will not go to sleep if I don't let her do it. I am afraid to be too forceful while she is nursing - I don't want to mess up her sense of security. Most of the time I end up letting her do it because it seems to be soothing to her, but I can't walk around with my arms all bruised up. Does anyone have any better ideas? Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for so many great responses! I am trying out all of them to some degree. What has been most effective is the nursing necklace. I put a large donut-looking bead on a leather string with safety in mind and tied it so it hung low for her. The hole makes it perfect for pinching and it looks stylish! When she catches my arm with her other hand, I take her off and completely separate myself from her. I'm not sure she understands this, but I will give it some time to see if it sinks in. I am also not into being too firm with such a young baby, but I feel like I can find a nice balance after reading all of your wonderful suggestions. Thank you, also, for the compliments. I enjoy nursing her and hope to keep it up at least until her 1st birthday, possibly longer since she is allergic to cow's milk. Thank you to all the smart, resourceful women who answered my question.

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H.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am a mom of 2 ages 5 1/2 and 3 i would suggest immediately putting her down when she pinches. I know this will be hard but i had to do it and it only took a few times to get the point across. I had to actually put my son down and walk away. Good luck.

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would think correcting her is the way to go. I don't think it would be much different then correcting her when she bites and babies typically understand 'no' and stop.

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J.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi S.,

If she does this primarily while nursing, I would take her off of your breast and say "that hurts mommy" then put her back on. Take her off every time she does it for 1 or 2 minutes and then put her back on. She will learn very quickly that when she pinches she doesn't get to nurse and she should stop doing it right away. This is also a technique used for when babies bite while nursing and it works very well for that.

J.

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L.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Have you thought about getting her attached to a stuffy? (stuffed animal) If she had that to pinch, then she wouldn't need your arm....this is definantly something you need to stop now.....cause it will only get worse as time goes on.

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K.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi,
Did you try a really soft plush blanket over your arm so that when she pinches, she pinches that? Or even a bed pillow, they are soft and not as bulky as say a sofa throw pillow. She may not even know the difference! Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have to agree with Judy. Pinching needs to be stopped and the best way is to remove her from your breast each and every time she pinches you and tell her that hurts mommy. When my son would bite me while nursing I went so far as to put him down in his crib for a moment or two. They want to nurse and will very quickly realize that pinching means no nursing. I wouldn't worry about your daughter not feeling secure if you stop her from nursing for those few moments, because you will be picking her right back up. Once she realizes she can't pinch you anymore she'll learn to go to sleep without it. Good luck. Trust me she'll adjust.

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yes - I do have a better idea. Next time she does it, very suddenly put her down on wherever the nearest safe spot is (usually the floor next to wherever you are sitting to nurse her) and walk away. Don't hurt her, but make sure you put her down in such a way that she is startled. Say "NO PINCH" or something like that when you do it. Don't go back and nurse her for a few minutes even if she cries. It usually only takes one or two times of this for them to understand they can't do it. It won't mess with her security. And you're right - you don't have to go around with your arms bruised.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

That's what came to my mind, too--giving her something else to pinch--a blanket/toy/??? She may still think it's you :)

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L.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't envy you, my son tries to do the same thing to my neck, when he is tired and boy does it hurt. He is 14 months and has done it off and on.

I don't think its too early to tell her no in a firm voice and give her the blanket or doll to squeeze instead. I think babies understand more than we give them credit for.

Just think, as she grows those little fingers only get stronger and hurt even more and you don't want her doing it to her friends.

I wish you luck.

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A.P.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, S.!
First of all, congratulations on still nursing your daughter! So few women make it past 6 months!

Have you tried a nursing necklace? Those can be a real sanity saver! I got mine from www.tickled-pink-designs.com (I think that's where they hyphens went!) & LOVE them (have one from my daughter & for my son). However, you can just do a search for them & get one elsewhere or even make your own.

I hope you find something that works! I know that's tough!
Keep up the great work!
A.

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would recommend not allowing her to do this. Don't allow her to do it, and stick to your decision. Don't give in because then it will be harder and longer to get rid of the problem activity the next time. As with any discipline, it will take a couple days to stop the pinching, but your daughter needs to know that this is not okay to do.

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F.H.

answers from Sharon on

I'm not really into being firm with a 9 month old! I really like the bead idea. I'm going to go make my own today. My son scratches me when hes nursing or tired on my arm. It hurts. I do always remove his hand though. I may say ow but not for discipline purposes more becuase it hurts. I figure if I dont want him to do it I'll just take his hand away but not to discipline him but more becuase I dont want it. If you wnat I can let you know how it goes making my own beads and how much it costs etc and if it worked.
Mother of 4 boys 8,5,4 and 9 months

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