Hi Ladies - my just turned 4yr old son is supposed to be the ring-bearer in my niece's wedding in a couple of weeks. My son has a speech delay and we cant really figure out a way to explain what he's supposed to do. We had the tux fitted and all he wanted to talk about was dressing up like a white stormtrooper. We let 8yr old bro try on a tux too because he seemed to like when they were both dressed up together.
I'm concerned that when it comes time, he either wont want to wear the suit or do what he's suppossed to. What would you say or do you know of any kids books out there on the topic?
I would definitely role play it. Practice helps kids to know what to do and be comfortable when the time comes. And if he does something silly, well, there's always America's Funniest Home Videos. :-)
Will your niece have a rehearsal? My 3 year old and 5 year old sons were in my sister's wedding recently. We did give them the pillows and kind of showed them what to do before hand. But the big help was the rehearsal. They got to practice what they were supposed to do. Of course during the actual wedding, walking down the aisle my 3 year old turned around and tried to come back to me. They also had a hard time standing there during the ceremony.Just remind your niece that he is a little boy and little boys don't stand still for very long. :) No one can predict how he will react when the time comes.Hopefully she will be understanding.
C.
My son was a ring bearer when he was 4 as well, I wouldn't worry to much about it. They will have a wedding rehersal, and the bride needs to understand that kids will be kids. See how he does during practice and you may need to run through his "part" a couple times. Make sure that he can either sit up there, or be able to go to you as soon as he is done walking up the isle. That will make things go smoother. Also, having a little snack before will help too.
I had a flower girl that was so cute and so prepared and then when it came time to go she threw a fit and wouldn't walk down the isle, she just sat in the back of the church and screamed "I don't want to go" we figured out she didn't want to wear her tiara and that she was hungry, we gave her a couple crackers, said she could take her tiara off, and she went up the isle and was a complete ham.
Just let your neice know that kids can do the darndest things. They are so unpredictable.
My 10 yr old nephew was suppose to carry the train of my victorian dress- he balled it up and carried the train like a football. I was agahst when I saw the video!
Practice ahead of time. also as far as the standing after carrying the rings up. We made sure there was someone at the front to pull our ring bearer and flowergirl into the pew to sit during the actual ceremony. a small book to look at take care of figiting while the vows are taking place. a page turning is a lot less distracting than a little one trying to talk and move around a lot. good luck. and if all else fails and he its looking like he might not be able to do it have you considered having the 8 yr old do it? It is always really cute to have little kids in a wedding but not so cute when the little ones can't or won't follow the plan lol. good luck
maybe you can look for some videos on youtube?
my youngest has a speech and developmental delay and him and his older sister and (step)brother were in my brothers wedding last year so he was 4 at the time also they had a rehersal that the kids didnt get to make it to cuz my x wouldnt let me have them for it but when it came time since i was able to hide in the back where every one came from i was able to tell him "follow brother and go stand by papaw (papaw was the best man) and brother" and it worked out really well for all the kids he enjoyed being just like the older one and they all liked beining involved in the wedding minus the monkey suites but it was also july and we did the best we could but the boys were still in pants and long sleves till it was over good luck
I agree role playing would be a great idea and finding a good you tube video of one that will let him see it as well. So doing it, seeing it and telling him about it. Along with when there giving him a simple objective .. take the ring to ______.
As for wearing the tux.. sometimes when my son doesn't want to put his church clothes on it works to tell him it is a super hero suit he loves the Hulk or superman and spiderman.
I even sometimes let him wear his superman shirt under his suit... telling he can be superman too but he needs to wear his superman suit too.. then make a big deal about him being in his superman suit.. etc. some sort of fun incentive for wearing it.. or a prize for wearing it.. etc.
My son also has a speech delay so a lot of visual and simple directions usually help and of course motivation of a prize, treat or promise to do something helps too.
Good luck!
