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Q
Lubbock, TX
I am going crazy. I have twins, a boy and a girl, and they are 2 1/2 years old. We just moved to Texas (back to Texas) and we left "nanna" and "pappy" in Alabama. I know there are adjustments going on, but my husband can't get either child their drink, take them to the potty, cover them up, tuck them in, etc. You name it and they will say "no mommy do it". I have been pretty laid back knowing it is just an age thing and transitioning thing for both children, but it is wearing me out now. I don't know how to fix it. My husband is amazing! He is really very equal in taking care of the children. He was a stay at home dad for 10 months and did great! So, it is not because he is a bad father, it is just weird. Maybe someone else has experienced this? I would love any and all advice. Nothing will hurt my feelings.
thanks,
S.
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Q
Detroit, MI
Can anyone help me with ideas or suggestions as to how to get my daughter to sleep in her own bed?
She is 6 now and I have been a single parent since she was 2. Since then she has been in my bed. This has really been more for me than her. I was afraid in a new place and I also work full time, so our only bonding time was to crawl up in my big bed and read together. I haven't really pushed the issue too much yet. I thought when she gets ready she will just do it. So far she has had one night in her bed, it went great she said, but then she didn't want to do it again. For as much as I don't want her to be in her own room, I know she needs to be sooner or later. Any help would be great.
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Q
San Antonio, TX
my son who is 9/12 mths, doesnt seem to have his soft spot on his head anymore is this common? also, he is trying to start walkin, is this good for him, i have 2 other boys, who didnt start walking till they were already one. i dont know if this is just or he is just going to be an earlier walker. your comments are always great appreciated!
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Q
Chicago, IL
what do you moms think about this calendar???? I was told it works???
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Q
Corpus Christi, TX
I have been dating my wonderful boyfriend for about a year and a half but we've known each other for 2 years. We have talked about our future and marrige,children and all that fun stuff. I have 2 kids from my last marriage and he has none. He wants to have a baby right away. I own a boutiuqe and right now I am the only one working there. I would like business to pick up so that I can hire someone because I don't want to work so much and be preg. and also stay at home with the baby. My boyfriend kind of made it seem like I was choosing work over having a baby. Although he did not say it. I have worked hard since my divorce 3 and a half years ago to get where I am and I don't want to rush into anything. I do want to have a baby and start our lives together I just want to do it right. Also I must mention that my boyfriend is 43 years old and would like to have a baby before he gets much older. And please no one comment on the age diffrence...I've heard it all before. He is a great man. Any advise??
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Q
Tuscaloosa, MS
Ok, I have a 9 1/2 year old daughter. We home school and realize that this is most likely the only reason she still thinks there is a Santa. However, she has made commits and things this year to make us think this will be our last year. She is my oldest and I am not sure how to handle this. I don't remember my parents have a "talk" with me. I just remember finding out and never saying anything to my parents. I think it was my senior year in collage that my mom made said something about there not being a santa. I just smiled and said really. Is this normal or should I talk to her about it? I am so confused because what if she isn't hinting that she knows? What if I am reading more into it then I should. I just know that most kids her age don't still believe in Santa. I was about her age when I ran across the gifts hidden in the very back of the closet under all the blankets. LOL So those of you with older children please HELP. I am already stressing because she will be in double digits in April and now this..........:(
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Q
San Diego, CA
I cannot for the life of me think of a good "big" gift for my youngest girl. The 4 year old is easy...but I can't think of a main gift that will not be a giant waste in another 2 weeks. Any suggestions???? I usually get the kids one "big" gift and then a bunch of little ones.
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Q
Detroit, MI
I'm having a problem keeping and focusing on a clean house. I know my children need attention, but it's hard to not even getting the basic tasks done. Does anyone have a solution for when and how these things get done? And, how to balance between children and housework?
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Q
New York, CT
My son has one of those small blankets with an animals head on it,a rabbit. He loves to suck on the ears instead of his thumb or a pacifier. My problem is it stinks. I wash it 2-3 times a week and also got him a second one so we rotate every few days. I soak it in baking soda and make sure it's completely dry but the first time it goes in the mouth and gets wet, yuck....! Anyone have any tips on how to remove the odor. No chance of getting this thing away from him anytime soon. I try not to give it too him too often, only for naps and sleep or if he is really cranky (teeth coming in). I'd appreciate any help. Thanks
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Q
Seattle, WA
Okay mom's, I could use some help.
My daughter is 14 months old now, and has never been fond of us cleaning her vaginal area. Before it wasn't a huge deal, we could still do it with a small struggle. Now she's bigger and stronger, and to try and clean that area it almost needs three people to change her. One to distract her, one to keep her from fighting us/moving her legs, and one to actually clean her vaginal area. And it's usually just me changing her diaper. She's strong enough that if she doesn't want her leg moved it doesn't move.
I know the importance of keeping this area clean. How can I stop this power struggle so I can keep her vaginal area clean?
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Q
Kansas City, MO
My 9 1/2 month old son is driving me crazy!!! He is so clingy. He wants me to hold him ALL day. I put him down and just let him cry sometimes. He won't let Daddy feed him dinner. I'm still breastfeeding and don't know if that has something to do with it.He eats baby food for lunch and dinner and as long as I feed him he's fine. I also want to start weaning him if anyone has suggestions on that as well! I know everyone says they will grow out of it but I need some peace and quiet now!!!!
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Q
Portland, OR
Hello, I have a question I hope you can help me with. I have a 27 month old girl and a three month old girl. My questin is this. How do you deal with a clingy toddler? There are times when I am trying to do something, and ask my husband (her dad) to do something for her, but she gets verry upset insisting "mommy do it" I do not feel that I am not spending enought time with her. I am accually able to spend a little more time with her now that the baby is getting a little older. If any of you have had this issue I would appreciate a response. Thank You.
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Q
Richmond, VA
trying to get my son to sleep in his own bed has been a challenge, he climbs over the baby gait and comes downstairs and gets into my bed. Any advice on how to get him to stay in his own bed?
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
My husband and I have been separated for two years and going through the divorce process. I'm Catholic and he is Jewish and since two religions may be confusing to a child we agreed before we had, our now six year old daughter, that we would raise our children Jewish but let them celebrate the catholic traditions and holidays with my family. Our daughter, currently attends kindergarden at a jewish school and now that we are separated I feel that she should attend a non-denominational private school. I feel disconnected in a sense to her because as much as I'm open to learning jewish traditions I'm not Jewish and cannot really connect with her on that level and feel somewhat disconnected to the parents at the school as well. I know I can change my attitude and my husband feels this is selfish of me, but as open as I am to her attending the Jewish school I can't help but feel that disconnect. I feel she bonds more with his side of the family because of this "segregation". My family is pretty Catholic and they feel it too. My ex feels really strongly about her attending this school and says he will not concede. This is not the only area we don't agree on as parents and when my ex feels strongly about something its his way or no way. I just don't feel its fair that he gets to make these decisions me being her parent too. Any suggestions on how to handle these type of situations or how to deal with someone who is very set in their ways? Thank you!
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Q
Orlando, FL
My daughter has been sleeping in our bed for about 4 years. From the time she turned 4 we encouraged her to sleep in her own room (we found out we were expecting our 2nd child). She did well sleeping on her own until it became a reality that another child would be joining our family. Now that my newborn is in our bed too, there is no room for my husband. Our bedroom is too small to fit another bed or even a mattress on the floor. Any suggestions??
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Q
Chicago, IL
I am here to vent moer than anything. We co-sleep with our 6 year old, and lately I have been catching A LOT of slack for it. Everyone who has learned of this puts theier unwelcomed 2 cents in. Of course it is all negative feedback. My husband and I have no problem with our sleep situation. Our child sleeps well, through the night, never wakes up until the morning. Our child had MAJOR sleep issues until we began to co-sleep. We all love it, and it works for us. Like most other things when it comes to parenting, and raising children, I wish unless asked everyone would keep there opinons to themselves. I think it makes people feel better about themselves to find something "wrong"with the ways others parent. To each there own. Whatever works for some, may not work for others. I wish mothers and women would be more supportive of others, rather than so judgmentful and spitful.
Has anyone ever had to deal with this, we can't be the only c0-sleeps of older children?!
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Q
Honolulu, HI
Hi all, I'm a Mom of a 5 year old girl and a 19 month old boy.
We have done co-sleeping with them since they were born... off and on, as necessary on those hard to sleep nights our kids have now and then. As we Moms know, it is just sometimes easier this way, and it's comforting for our children. I breastfed both as well. There are lots of "pro's" to it as we all know, who believe in it.
My question is: (1) how long did you co-sleep, until what age? (2) how do you handle criticisms from family, who think co-sleeping is "weird" and "odd." (at least these are the innuendos and comments I have gotten from my own Mom and sister who does not have children). (3) because of these comments from family that co-sleeping is weird... I for one feel so self conscious about it and feel like I have to "hide" my and Hubby's parenting choice in co-sleeping. (4) what do you say to people who "criticize" your co-sleeping or who don't understand? How do you handle it?
I just wanted to know what others have done in this situation. My Mother lives with us, she is a widow. So, we don't "say" per say that we co-sleep. But our daughter tells her Grandma because she thinks its great. My girl has her own room and everything and she sleeps there... but once in awhile she gets scared or just wants to climb into bed with us during the night. It's not problem for us. For my son, he's in a crib in our room, and he's a good sleeper. So no problem there, but if he does get up in the middle of the night and cannot go back to sleep... I just take him and put him down on the extra futon we have in our room, & lay with him for a little bit until he goes back to sleep then go back to sleep myself.
ALL of my friends do the same thing, with their kids who range in age as well. Like us, they don't outwardly "tell" people they are co-sleeping.... because it feels like you have to "hide" the fact. Do you all experience this as well?
My sister even asks my daughter if she is sleeping in her own bed or not. I told her that is none of her business, and then she got all mad at me and it created friction.
Any help? Suggestions? Hubby and I don't have a problem with this by the way. In other cultures, it is the norm.
*just to clarify... since my children were born, and as they've grown... we had varying degrees of them sleeping WITH us in our bed. At the moment, as I detailed above, this is they way we sleep now. But, we are all in one room all together, and either my daughter or son will be with us in bed, or sometimes on the futon, with one parent laying with our child. We all 4 can't fit in our bed. LOL. So this is the way we do it.
Thanks for any advice!
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Q
Phoenix, AZ
Being a first time mom I'm always questioning whether or not I'm going about this whole parenting thing correctly. My 17 month old son sleeps in the same bed as my husband and I do every night. Since he was born we have had him sleep in a bassinet and then transferred him into his crib around 3 months old. We had sleeping issues with him not wanting to be in his crib but I can't honestly say that's why we brought him to bed with us. My husband loves him sleeping with us and I love it too...the only thing that makes me want to not have him next to us is the fear that it's not the "right" thing to do. So...that brings me the the question of...co-sleeping, wrong or right? Good or bad? I'm also curious on how many of you out there co-sleep is well. Your comments will truly be appreciated!
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Q
Boston, MA
Hi, can anyone tell me if coconuts are considered a nut? I've been keeping coconuts away from my son due to the fact that he has anaphylaxis to all nuts because no one can tell me if it is a nut or a fruit. Thanks
A.
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Q
Texarkana, AR
Hi Moms! This is the first time that I have requested advice, and since I never do anything half-way, it's a doosey! :)
I have a ten and a half year old son that my first husband and I adopted. My second husband and I have been married for five years and we both want to adopt a baby girl. He absolutely loves and adores my son (and vice versa) and he is so good with children. In September of last year, my husband contacted our state DHS office to speak with them about adoption. (Although we have the money to support a child, we do not have the money that private agency adoptions cost. My son's was nearly $15,000 ten years ago!). After my husband contacted the DHS office, we had a home visit, then we began a parenting class in October which lasted six weeks. We then became CPR and First Aid certified (all are requirements for adoption through the state). In the meantime, I began getting really excited about this! Then we hit a brick wall. Along with the classes comes a huge packet of paperwork. It asks very personal questions about your past and present and your views of raising children. I had everything for mine finished in December although it wasn't easy. My husband has not finished his. He had a difficult childhood and I don't know if he just doesn't want to relive it on paper or maybe he doesn't know how to bring out the positive aspects of his childhood. He even went to see our state adoption specialist one day to have her help him. I know he wants a child because he tells me, and he is the one that set everything up with the state. I just don't know how to get him to finish this last thing. It is beginning to affect our relationship because I am becoming very resentful. I see him sitting on the couch and think that he could be using that time to work on some of his questions.
I will be 36 in three months and my son will be eleven. I don't want to wait much longer to bring a baby into our family. I've told him my feelings, I've even offered to help him with his paperwork but nothing gets done. All my stuff is finished, we're just waiting on him.
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
My three year old son suddenly LOVES computer games. He likes to play on the Playhouse Disney site - the games use counting skills, matching, sound recognition etc. He is shockingly good at navigating a computer. He also loves my husband's nintendo wii which is a video game also but requires you to move around to actually play the sport. I am just wondering from a "mom's" point of view, does this count as TV time? We limit tv and movies to about an hour or two per day so I am wondering if we should say no tv if he is going to play on the computer? Obviously I would rather have him playing on the computer than watching tv - even though both are pretty "lazy" activities. Its not like he does these things all day or anything - tv and computer games combined probably account for about 3 hours of the day lately - each are in short bursts - like he will watch an episode of Little Einsteins or Dora in the AM and then the TV goes off, then play the computer for 20 mins or so in the early afternoon before nap time, then play the nintendo with dad for about half an hour when he gets home from work, then sometimes we watch a movie after dinner. Is that way too much??? Before I had kids I swore mine would never even watch tv - ha! I am just wondering how other mommies feel about this - I didn't think the video game obsession would come this early!! At this rate his computer skills will surpass mine by age 5 - lol.
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Q
Charlotte, NC
Hi, with summer approaching I have some concerns about my ex MIL's house. First of all, my girls stay over there almost every weekend because my ex lives in a different city and he comes here to see the girls and stays with his mother. She has a house that is so dirty because it is too big to clean all by herself, and they have NO air conditioning! I am worried about the mold that may be in the walls due to the humidity from no central air. Also, she live right up against the woods and the mosquitos are HORRIBLE! My one girl got 6 bites when we were there for 20 minutes the other day. She is a nice woman, but I am worried that she doesn't take my concerns seriously about mold and too many mosquito bites. Should I sit down with her and talk about my concerns? I don't want to strain the relationship because I want my girls to see that although marriages don't always work out, people can still work together. Some ideas on how to deal with ex MIL's would be so helpful from some other moms who know. Thanks!
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Q
Charlotte, NC
Hello, I need some advice to approaching a kind of step-parent role. The guy I am with has 3 children from previous relationships(All boys, 1 is 12 and the other 2 are 9). We both feel our relationship is solid and want it to start moving forward. I'm 21 and he's 32. He connected with my 2 month old son immediately but I'm not sure how to connect with his boys and introduce a little brother to them.His children and I have all met before but it was very casual. Does anybody have any ideas to help me(and them) with this step and what to expect coming up? Thanks.
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Q
Portland, OR
My son is 11mos old. He's never been a great sleeper, but during the past few months, it's gotten worse and worse and a downward spiral has begun. Personally, I think you simply reach a point that you cannot physically and mentally handle being woken up constantly throughout the night ---- for me, it's about a year now and I am crumbling.
We've made some great progress in getting him down (in his crib) to sleep at around 8pm, but most nights he wakes after anywhere between three and six hours and cannot resettle to sleep, even when he is nursed. Ferberizing, CIO, rocking chair ---- we've tried it all even though the crying pains me to no end. The only thing that works to get him back down is to bring him into our bed, which is counter-productive because it results in a nursing marathon / human pacifier situation. Not good either.
Anyone out there made any progress with a tough little cookie like mine?
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Q
Boca Raton, FL
Hi Moms,
My 27 month old son is showing a lot of interest in going pee pee on the toilet. He goes every morning when he wakes up (he of course wears a diaper at night and pees in that) and goes pee pee on the toilet every evening before bath... While we're home he'll only tell me "pee pee toilet" about 2 times through out the day, the rest of the time he'll go in his diaper... While we're out though is a TOTALLY different story....... AS SOON as we get somewhere he immediately starts saying "pee pee toilet" and will continue to until I take him... I've heard if there telling you that you should always take them, so I do BUT as soon as he's done going and we continue to shop 5 minutes later he's saying it again... I always say "can you hold it a few minutes", he says "yes", then 30 seconds later he's saying "pee pee toilet" again. He will continue to say over and over and over again until I take him. We can be at a store for 30 minutes and we'll go into the bathroom 3 times. I feel like it starts to become a game also because when we're in there he likes to wash his hands, play in the sink,etc etc.. BUT when I do take him, he'll pee EVERY time on the toilet...... My question is: How do I deal with this? I can't get any errands done without him saying 100 times he has to pee? He doesn't always do this at home which makes me think it becomes a game but I don't want to not take him because I know he'll pee once he gets on the toilet...... I try saying all the time "can you hold it", he'll say yes then ALWAYS go back to saying it UNTIL I take him... How do you relay to him that he needs to hold it longer?????
PS At school ( he goes 2x's per week) he just started letting the teaching take him to go potty on the toilet and he ALWAYS wants to go when it's nap time.... Like it's a game.. He won't say it throughout the day UNTIL nap comes comes. Then he wants to go 3 times during nap time...
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Q
Kalamazoo, MI
My mom died about 10 years ago when I was 16. I am know married with two kids. My oldest (boy age 4), is learning how families fit together. He knows that his Grandma is his dad's mom. He knows my dad as Grandpa and my step-mom as Nana. He has asked a few questions about where is my mom or who is my mom. So far, he has not been too persistent and I have been able to change the subject on him, but I know this won't work much longer and at some point I'm going to need to give him an answer. I need advice on how to do this and what to say. I don't want to scare him by telling him that my mom died and then he might think that I could die too. My mom was hit by a car and I don't want that to scare him either. I need something simple, but not a lie.
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Q
San Francisco, CA
My husband & I are now Costco member. My cousin buys caned Mandarin Oranges there for her Toddler. I was wondering, is there anything there that you buy for your Toddler? My daughter is 14 months now
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Q
Seattle, WA
Ok so my Oldest son will be three in may. He has been able to tell me when he is peeing and when he has pooped in his diaper he pretty much self changes when he needs to i mean i do the changing but he comes and tells me when he wants to be changed. I have been really frustrated because whenever we put him on the potty he just thinks it is a game. we have told him once he goes he gets a present and nothing still we sit and sit...now i have to admit becasue i am convinced he isnt ready i dont do this on a daily basis. But all of my family keeps pushing me to get him potty trained. but i keep telling them well i try and he just sits there and so i dont think he is ready. none of my family has offered up advice they just keep getting on my case that he is almost three and should be going in a toliet. Now i am starting to feel that maybe i am trying to avoid the whole process i keep saying he isnt ready but maybe its me that isnt ready. i am almost seven months pregnant with my thrid so the whole thing seems so over wheleming but at the same time i really dont want to have three babies in diapers. please is there anyone out there that has gone through these feeling or any advice on how to conquere them because i feel like a big idiot if he is more ready then i am to get the potty training on. Thanks again out there for all your help!!
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Q
Parkersburg, OH
For the past month my son most nights will wake in the middle of the night crying like he is afraid and we cannot get him to lay back down by himself and sometimes he will wake during his nap as well. Could he be having nightmares this young? My husband and I are stumped on this we have tried turning on his ceiling fan, and also putting one of my shirts that I have warn that day and for a few nights it worked, but the last two nights he is back to waking up screaming. Any ideas on what could be wrong?? And yes we have tried the let him cry himself to sleep but that does not work I know his cries and it is a fearful cry. Help!!
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Q
Sacramento, CA
Okay so my husband tells me that I favor my youngest daughter, but I dont think so! I feel that I love all my girls the same. So is it possible to favor one child more then the other siblings, and not really realize that your doing it?
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Q
San Diego, CA
I'm now 17 weeks pregnant with my second child and my daughter is 5. My cousin has a 7 month old I want to be able to spend more time with my cousin but every time I'm around her she says things to make me upset. example: my baby is cuter that yours or your daughter was funny looking when she was born, I don't think shes trying to be mean I just think she dosnt understand that a joke to her really hurts my feelings. I find myself ignoring her or wanting to say things like your baby's head is funny shaped but I dont want to be mean. I could use some ideas on how to tell her shes being hurtful. I also want her to know every mom thinks their baby is cute but its not ok to offend other moms by making jokes about their children. Please help I love my cousin and want to be able to spend more time with her.
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Q
Houston, TX
Hi, I've recently started a new job that requires me to work some evenings & sometimes on the weekends. My hubby doesn't mind & is great w/ my girls. The only thing is that I feel terribly guilty about having to be away from them when they aren't in school. Also, the job requires a lot of standing which I'm not used to & when I am home, all I want to do is lay down and take a nap. I've talked to the girls & they seem to understand, but it doesn't take away the guilt I feel. I can't really get another job right now b/c we only have one vehicle...Just wondering if anyone else has been or is in this situation and what did you do? Thanks in advance for any input or advice you may have!!!
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Q
Savannah, GA
Last week we finally realized how much our 3 yr old daughter was playing with us about having her "me" (binki). So we did it, we "broke" it. She realized it and threw it away but now does not sleep enough. She maybe sleeps 8 hours a night after she cries and screams for hours, this leads to her in bed with us so we can sleep. Then for nap time she is out about 45 mins. But the problem is, she is just straight up nasty and we are SO frustrated about it. We really need to know how to alleviate this crying at night and the lose of the "broken" binki.
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Q
Boca Raton, FL
I know there's alot of debate about letting there babies "cry it out" but I wanted to get more opinions before I decide to do it. My son's sleeping schedule isn't that bad now (from like 10:30pm-3:30am he sleeps in his crib, then back to sleep at like 4:30-7 on my chest but the 2nd half he doesn't sleep soundly and won't go back in his crib so I don't get much rest to 2nd half of the night and I'm exhausted nowadays).
My son is 11 1/2 weeks old and is colicy/fussy and has acid reflux (on zantac), so right off the bat he's a challenge. He has gotten A LITTLE better but we're not fully there yet.. Due to me not having enough sleep, I tend to get sick more often (I am a very light sleeper and CONSTANTLY wake up), I had to hire someone 4 days per week to help me out. I have read "the happiest baby on the block" and just got "baby wise". My pediatrician said (and she did it herself) "it's fine" to let him cry it out at 3 months but I want to make sure this is going to be effective. I NEED MY SLEEP, I almost feel sometimes as if I could get depressed...I hear about moms that have babies that sleep 12 hours per night and am soooo jealous of that..If he slept all night I would be able to handle his colicy/fussy personality better because I would be well rested.
How long does it normally take? I hear anywhere's from 2 days-2 weeks.. Are you supposed to pick them up to check for dirty diaper if they cry in the middle of the night? I hear to let them cry for 20 minutes then go rub them and leave the room again.. I just get worried because my little man is VERY vocal now and he has thrown up in his car seat from being so upset (hates his car seat too).. Should you give them there pacifier while your trying this? Even though I know he'll spit it out from screaming..
I just like to know any hints that anyone may have for me before I decide to do this.
Thanks!!!!!
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Q
Dallas, TX
I know my request my sound strange but I'm at my wits end and don't know what else to do. I have a 7 yr old who still insists that his dad sleeps with him, and after my husband gets up later after his fallin alseep my son will go into our bed. My hisband thinks theres nothing wrong with this and that it justs stems from what happneded to me when I was younger? I don't think its normal?? ANd I've treid telling him that but he won't listen to me and its all in my head and that I need to see someone about this problem... Plus my seven year still sometimes takes a shower with dad!!!! Can this problem get any worse??? I really don't know what to do anymore and need some seroius advice. Anyone???
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Q
Peoria, IL
ok this is weird but it seems everytime bruce leaves on deployment alex our 4 year old gets more clingy. Now i cant keep him out of my bed but then i cant sleep. Let me explain my husband is in the navy. He is not in harms way he is just on a air craft carrier. ANd as alex gets older he gets worse. I have tried all the methods the other spouses have told me but none seems to work. anyone have any ideas. This time out bruce is only gone for a month and a half.
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Q
Boston, MA
I am just curiuos to know how other moms out there structure their day in terms of activities, naps, feeding etc. with their little ones. I am looking to add some more variety to our day and was hoping for some ideas from other moms. Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough or feeling like I need to be engaged with my little one the entire day which as much as I love him can be exhausting :-) I would greatly appreciate others thoughts, experiences etc! Thanks, L.
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Q
Portland, OR
Hello,
I have a 6 & 4 yr. daughters. My question is what to do with them during the day to keep them busy. It seems I always have them in front of the TV so I can get stuff done in the house. I hate doing that (they love it).
Do any of your teriffic moms have a schedule that you go by each day? I guess my question is; is how to write a daily schedule to live by. My six year old is involved in sports so that is not a problem. It's just during the days, it seems that the TV is on all day to keep them busy. A lot of the things they want to do involves me and I have so much to get done before I have to start taking the 6 year old to practices.
I feel so guilty sometimes. I would like to parent without guilt.
Thank you for any response.
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Q
Montgomery, AL
i am having trouble with my 11 year old daughter. she wants so bad to be accepted by her peers at school that she has started to act like they do so she will be accepted. She has started being disrespectful and smart mouthed! she has major attitude. when i ask her what her problem is she says i dont know. that has become her answer for everything. i dont know what to do. does anyone have advice?
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Q
St. Louis, MO
My daughter has not been sleeping through the night lately. Last night she woke up 3 times and ended up in our bed. The first couple of times she complained that she just woke up and I guess wanted to let us know... I'm not exactly sure what she wanted us to do. My husband took her in her room and she was back to sleep in about 5 minutes. That happended again 2 hours later. Then she came in complaining that she was cold and wouldn't cover up (she has a bad cut on her foot and didn't want to mess with it). So she ended up in our bed. I really don't like it when she sleeps in our bed and she has been trying to sleep in it for the past week or so. She'll wake up in the middle of the night and creep in. Then I have to nudge my husband to make her go back to bed because he doesn't care if she's in there or not. Am I wrong to not let her sleep in our bed EVER? Or should I be sticking with this? I feel like I am being selfish by not ever letting her be in there, but to me, this is OUR bed and bedroom not hers. She has a fine bed and mattress, that's not the problem. She's not being scared, she goes to bed just fine. She just won't stay in it all night long... Could it have anything to do with the fact that I'm expecting? We're expecting our baby boy within a month or two. Any advice is greatly appreciated....
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Q
Green Bay, WI
My daughter, who will turn 4yrs next month, is still not potty trained. She will ask to go (not very often), will sit and "read", but not produce anything. She talks about the process and seems to understand the concept. I have tried stickers, buying pretty panties for her to wear, asking her every so often if she needs to go. Currently we have a box of M&M's in the bathroom and if she at least sits for a few minutes and tries to go, she can have a couple. No luck. What concerns me is that at this age she seems perfectly fine with having a wet/poopy diaper. I ALSO NEED TO ADD that my daughter was adopted at 14mos from China and was VERY freaked out by diapers (among other things) at first. We are wondering if she could have already been potty trained (they sometimes potty train VERY early in China) and we just didn't know it? I say this because about two months after we came home with her, my husband took a new job and we moved. The potty chair happened to be sitting out as we were unpacking. She pulled off her diaper, sat on it and pooped! We were so excited, left it out for her to use, but she never did it or wanted to do it again. So, I am at a lose! We start PK4 in the fall and I am getting worried that she will not be potty ready!
Thanks for your time.
S. W.
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Q
Fort Wayne, IN
OK I have a 4 yr old daughter who for the last month & half has been CONSTANTLY twirling her hair so much it gets in knots. She will do 1 side and sometimes both side. She CONSTANTLY has to be doing something. She will play in her room and do it, she will be watching TV doing it, EATING and doing it PLUS while she is in bed going to sleep at night. THE ONLY times she does not do it is when she is playing her Nintendo Ds Horsez 2 game which is HARD by the way. lol I tell her to PLZ stop it and she will say ok but goes back to doing it. I have had to cut small pc of hair b/c it is so knotted up it will not come undone. We tell her we will have to cut her hair short if she gets it to bad and she does not want that. She has pretty shoulder length hair so not sure what else to do. Anybody else have this problem and what did you do. Well hope everyone has a nice weekend .
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Q
Seattle, WA
My four year old daughter is still sleeping in my bed. Although I love my daughter dearly, I would really really like her to sleep in her own bed. She has been in my bed since she was 2 months old when she was going through colic. My husband and I have tried everything from decorating her room how she wants, to laying with her in their till she falls asleep. When she does fall asleep in there, she wakes up 20 - 30 minutes later and comes in our bed again. Any advice you all could give would be great!
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Q
New York, NY
My 6 months old daughter keeps waking up 3 - 5 times a night, she used to sleep through the night until she started teething 1 month ago - her two bottom teeth finally came through but she got so used to us coming into her room at night to give her the pacifier that cries until we come into her room to give it to her. I tried the crying it out for ten minutes but she just seems to get herself even more worked up. And to top it off she slept at my mother-in-laws Sunday night and she slept through the night - what is going on? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Q
San Francisco, CA
Okay, just this last week I had an idea to stop helping my DD pick up her room. I didn't say this to her, but I thought it would be interesting for her to see just how much I do help her keep it neat and organized. She's only 5, so I'm not expecting her to have a profound moment...but anyway, the room is okay now...okay, as in untidy and somewhat disorganized, but not to terrible, but it does really bugs me. However I am biting my tongue. How do you handle this issue and what are your views this topic? I would love to hear. :)
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Q
Oklahoma City, OK
My daughter is now almost two months old and she still has her days and nights mixed up! I want to start feeding her a little cereal at night because I heard that can leave them satisfied longer. But if you could give me any advice on how you've gotten your little one to sleep through the night that would be great! Thanks...
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Q
Washington DC, VA
my oldest is almost 17. For awhile now I have felt like I am not as much a part of his life besides the cleaning of clothes and cooking of various meals. I know we want our kids to be independent of us but I feel like the "joy" of being his mom is not glowing as bright as it normally is. Dont get me wrong I am his biggest cheerleader... My other 3 kids are still very dependent on me so he is my one source of "normal" interaction
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Q
Albany, NY
My husband has a daughter who is almost 6 who we have custody of. Her mother did not want her and has not seen her for over a year. I have accepted being her mother and treat her like one of my own. She has major adjustment issues and behavioral issues, as well as major jealousy of my 21 month old despite us doing everything we can. I run a kind of strict (not too strict) household but very loving and with lots of positive re-enforcement for her. I believe that this is good for her as well as everyone else. She has a tendancy to shut down when we are talking to her about her behavior or anything where the focus is on her. Her teachers were very concerned about this because she did it in her classroom at the end of the ear (Kindergarten) and she was supposed to be evaluated by the counselor but this never happened. However, she has the personality "it's all about me and if I don't get my way I will try anything to get it". She is very strong willed and "grown" for her age, so I am not sure that her shutting down is really an emotional problem, or just her not getting her way. I am starting to think it is the latter. She spends lots of time with my husbands parents who give her 100% attention and always have. However, she misbehaves terribly there and is mean and spiteful. So the grandmother is now not giving as much attention. I believe that children of emotional need, as she must have because of the emptyness from her mother, require attention, but not overboard as this makes things worse. Her father spends more quality time with her now that we brought home our baby boy from the hospital. She isn't jealous of him (I think because he is a boy). However, no matter how much attention he spends with her, it never is enough. And now, she calls her mother and says that he spends no time with her and makes up other lies.
Is this the right time to seek help?? Or is she just being the "spoiled" hard personality little girl. I am at my wits end because she has issues with me being motherly, which I totally understand because her mother never was motherly towards her. So I don't push it if she doesn't respond. She does call me "mom" most of the time and is eager to be involved in the family, as long as it is on her terms. She does sometimes seem like she is depressed or has highs or lows, almost like bi-polar. I am concerned about the jealousy of my 21 month old as she has acted out by locking her in the bathroom, always trying to get her in trouble by breaking things or messing up things and then saying that the younger girl did it (when I saw her do it), etc. I don't want my 21 month old to behave like her.
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Q
Charleston, SC
I have been married to my husband for almost 5 years. He has 2 sons ages 7 and almost 10 from a previous relationship(we also have 2 daughters together). They have lived with us since we got married. I can proberly count on one hand how many times me and the ex have gotten along! I have tried to remain civil with her for the sake of our kids. But it never remains that way. We moved to SC from Ct in July of this year. She lives in Ct. Before moving we set up visitation, giving her plenty of time we the boys. Visits during holidays,8 weeks in summer, weekend visits, phone calls everyother day and online visits via web cam . So we were more then fair with her. WE pay 70% of there transportation cost, and she pays 30% plus $80 a week in child support(which is a whole seperate issue)We also are giving her the oppertunity to come down here and see them whenever she would like. Well she just had another child a little over a month ago. She had a visit with the kids the first weekend in September, and her next visit is during Thanksgiving. She has started making a big fuss about her wanting us to send them up to Ct. in October(which isn't a scheduled visit) For the most part I handle issues with her regarding the kids, any problems, school info stuff like that. So i explained to her that we could not send them to her in Ct. because we could not afford to, or afford to take time out of work to do it.And she responded saying "it's not fair that i have to wait to see them or there new sibling see them, i have a right to see them... on and on..and this is why we set up a visitation schedule for her so there would not be any problems like this. But she is someone who is not happy unless she gets what she wants and how she wants it when it is convient for her. So i explained to her that she was more then welcome to travel down here, stay in a hotel and spend the entire weekend with them. Well that wasn't good enough for her she said no why should i have to go there to see them?? So needless to say she was very unhappy with me and precceded to tell me to stay out of anything that had to do with the boys, I had no right to be involved in decisions on what they were going to do and so forth. And that is about how every situation ends up when i deal with her. I do not know what ele to do to keep peace between us. I have tried over and over and it gets me no where. And this has been going on for the 6 years me and my husband have been together. I realize i have no choice to put up with her because she is there birth mother, but there has got to be a better way. It effects the boys and how they treat me and i don't like it. I have raised them for the last 5 years because she felt she needed a break!!!! And I feel like i deserve more respect from her that what I get(which is none) She has even gone so far as to mail me nude pictures of her and my husband(from when they were together)she showed up at my wedding while I was walking down the aisle!!! I thought when we moved things would get better because any contact we would have would be over the phone or in an airport transferring the kids, but it seems to have gotten worse. What can i do to lessen the stress on all of us?????
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Q
Chicago, IL
I am wondering how to explain the soon to be death of Gramma's dog to a 2 1/2 year old. She watches him one day a week at her house and he is fairly attached to the dog. Any advice would be helpful.
Thanks,
L.
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Q
Amarillo, TX
I need some advice. I have a four year old son who is a great kid. I am so thankful for him. However, I miscarried several times before having a successful pregnancy with him. It was a horrible experience for me, I was so scared and sick. Through much thought and prayer, my husband and I recently decided to start trying again. I got pregnant fairly easily, but after weeks of blood tests, ultrasounds, and vague answers from the doctor, it looks like I will probably lose this one as well. This has been so hard emotionally and physically for me, and I wonder how many more times I can go through it. I want another child, and my son would love to have someone to grow up with. However, I am really having a hard time wanting to try again after so many failed pregnancies. Has anyone been in this situation? Did you look into adoption, try again, or just be happy for what you had? I would really appreciate any insight.
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Q
Houston, TX
I have a slight problem, my husband insists that we hold the baby 24 hours a day. He feels that we are negleticting him by letting him play on the floor, swing, walker, etc. And it's gotten so bad that he wants to take him out of daycare because he feels they don't hold him enough, and he wants to find someone that will just sit and hold him. But in doing this I feel it is keeping our baby from developing his skills when he should, plus I'm going crazy. Don't get me wrong, I would love to hold him always but he'll be forty and I will still have to carry him around. Any suggestions on how to approach this disagreement?
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Q
Cleveland, OH
hello. i'm 20 yrs old with a 10 month baby and i started to develope depression like a month or so ago. well ok my boyfriend has 3 jobs and so i've been sitting at home all alone all day. i know he is just trying to pay the bills so i feel like i should lay off but its hard. yesturday was his last day at one of his jobs. he works at a bar! and he told me he was gonna try to close up early. well when i called at midnight he had a full bar. i got mad! started a fight with him! im not even really sure why! maybe i just want him home so bad i start fights with him when he's not. maybe i'm stressed! i just dont know... if anyone knows what i can do, please help me out! i went online to find a online depression group this but that didnt work out to well.
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Q
Richland, WA
My 17 month old son has recently started resisting when we need to clean his genital area during diaper changes and in the bath. He seems to be sensitive to cold hands and wipes so I think this is part of the issue but not all of it. I am wondering if he hurt himself there and is just really sensitive because of that or if there could be a health concern I am missing. He eventually lets us clean him but cries and fights it and we often end up with a naked boy in the sink with running water which he still doesn't love but tolerates more. Thanks, in advance, for your help.
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Q
Austin, TX
Usually when my daughter has diaper rash we use balmex and baby powder. I was wondering if we need to use the baby powder in addition to the balmex. Is it better to use the powder or just use the balmex without the powder.
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Q
Lexington, KY
i am having issues with my 23 month old , just within the past month she fights her dad doing things for her but not as much as she fights him changing her diapers. he is a wonderful dad to her and she loves him, it is obvious the way she hugs him when ever he picks her up. any suggestions as to what could be wrong?
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Q
Dallas, TX
I am in a dilemma here. I really want to get with my daughter’s high school concerning the treatment that she has been receiving from the coach in athletics but my daughter is begging me not to. Now if it was something really serious, I wouldn’t hesitate. My daughter hasn’t been able to participate in athletics due to having problems with her knee, pain and swelling. We’ve been going to see an orthopedic concerning it for a couple of months now. At the beginning the dr sent a note to the school excusing her from participating in athletics until further notice. Well the coach has been giving my daughter a hard time about sitting out. I’ve been telling my daughter to tell her the next time she was to say something to her about it, to give me a call if she has a problem with you sitting out. She didn’t want me saying anything to the coach. However, this past Friday was the last straw. The coach basically accused my daughter of only participating in athletics long enough to get her letterman jacket and then once she got her jacket, then she opted to sit out – as if she is faking it! (mind you this was done in front of other students – and you know how kids can be) My daughter is begging me not to say anything but I really feel that something needs to be said. Not only do I feel that my daughter is owed an apology but she shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this. I have called the school and left a message for the principal to call me back. I am going to bring this to her attention. My daughter is even thinking of not joining athletics again next year if this coach is still there. I don’t want her to give up on something she enjoys because of an insensitive, inconsiderate coach. My daughter is going to be upset with me if she finds out that I called. My question to you is this, was this the right thing to do even though my daughter asked me not to? Thanks in advance for your input.
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Q
Charlotte, NC
My husband and I have very different styles of parenting and disciplining our 2 year old daughter (though neither of us believes in any form of physical discipline!) As is probably common with 2 year olds sometimes one style works and sometimes somthing else works. However, we find that the differences in our styles seems to cause tension between us. We haven't had any major discussions about it as neither of us want to argue but there often seems to be an underlying sense of friction over "who is right". We are basically a close and loving couple and are openly affectionate towards each other and towards our daughter.
This must be a pretty common situation as most men and women tend to have different styles. Any tips or suggestions on how you overcame this issue in your family?
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Q
Santa Fe, NM
Hi, moms out there. I have a problem and I need some help. I have a ten month old daughter. I have been the one to take care of her since she was born. While her dad goes to work during the day. But when he comes home he wants to spend time with her, but she will not be or go near him. It fustrates us both that she does this. She will also not let me do homework, house work, or anthing else. She wants me, me and only me. She will follow me around the house crying for me to pick her up. She is getting too heavy for me to pick her up. I will give her to her dad but she will not calm down she cries for me. She will not go with anyone. She sees her dad and grandmother everday we don;t understand why she is like this. Some times i can't stand to hear her cry. What should i do? Someone please help!!!
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Q
Boston, MA
I have a 1 year old with Hydranencephaly. I am looking for anyone with the same or similar condition to maybe talk to or ask questions?
It is a very tough situation to deal with and she is doing much better than expected but still there are lingering questions only another mother could help with.
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
Hello all,
I just wanted to see if anyone had any good advice about discipline strategies that work? I have an 8 year old daughter who has been talking back a lot and I have been trying to eliminate that behavior by witholding her favorite thing a week at a time (T.V.) and it is motivating for her and she does well for a while but then starts the talking back again. Also I am having a hard time getting her to follow through with tasks. For example, most the time when I ask her to do something I have to repeat myself 3 or 4 times. I read something that said if a child doesn't respond after one request to make the request a little stronger the second time and if she doesn't respond after the second request to provide a consequence, which would be having he follow through with the task etc. I have been trying this and it has helped a little bit. But it just seems like more of a battle than it should be. Any suggestions?
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Q
Detroit, MI
Sorry if this has been covered, but I desperately want to ditch the pacifier. My son only uses it at night and sometimes for afternoon naps, but I want to avoid any more ear infections and it's one thing I can do. After more than an hour tonight of back rubbing, singing, etc., he wouldn't go to sleep until he had his plug. I regret waiting so long (he's almost 17 months). Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.
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Q
Cleveland, OH
I have 3 wonderful little boys who are 4, 2, and 9mo. They all go to bed around the same time, 8 pm, every night. We have a bedtime routine we follow but I am finding it difficult, sometimes exhausting, to stick to it. I love my babies very much and I want each one of them to know how much I love them and to never feel neglected. Lately, though, I have found myself skimping on their individual time so that I can get some rest of my own. I really need some suggestions on how to divide up my time and still stick with our routine. Thanks
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Q
Peoria, IL
I am a divorced mom of two boys, a 6 year old and 3 year old. I have been separated (2 years) and got the divorce just this past year. I am dating a GREAT guy who the kids absolutely adore and he adores my kids. The problem is he's in the Marine Corp and they're planning on sending him to California for up to 18 months. I don't want my kids to think he stopped coming around because of them. They lost their dad and now they're losing the guy I'm dating (in their eyes). I don't know how to explain to them that he's leaving but coming back, it just won't be for a while. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated!
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Q
New York, NJ
My 5 month old is not too fond of the crib....What have other mothers done??
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Q
Kansas City, MO
I am so torn. My father passed away on Friday. But 2 days before that I was informed my daughter has cancer. There's some mystery surrounding all that and she's promised we will go together this week and see the doctor. On top of this, my father-in-law is having a very important and possibly lethal surgery tomorrow. If he doesn't make it through the surgery we could actually lose both our fathers in the same week. It's unfathomable but a very real possibility.
I am nervous about the idea of closing up one or more days in the daycare because my parents are so used to me being a rock and available. I'm afraid to leave my daughter not knowing what the heck to think about her. If we end up with a ton of very expensive medical bills I will need my daycare even more to stay on track.
If I go to the funeral, anything could happen to either my husbands father or my daughter. Am I wrong to just think about skipping it? I mean I know I need to pay my respects to my dad. I am so numb after this weeks events that I haven't really let all that sink in. If I go there to the funeral I will lose it emotionally and I think it might be tidal wave of emotions.
I haven't been as close to my dad as my husband has been to his. Although we do have 2 vehicles, he is planning on staying behind so that I can go to the funeral and he can help in the daycare. But if something happens to his dad he would have to take off and leave my mother by herself and she may need to end up shutting down the daycare anyway as I leave my fathers funeral to go and support my husband!
If I skip my fathers funeral will I regret it the rest of my life?
S.
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Q
Memphis, TN
Ok, my boyfriend have been throwing up and complaining of stomach aches since i have been pregnant.
Is it possible for this to happen?
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Q
Springfield, MA
Hi, I know that children shouldn't eat raw eggs because of the saftey hazard of getting salmanilla (sp?). When I was little (in the 60's) it was always a great joy when I could lick the spoon of some cake batter or pancake batter or eat a bit of the chocolate cookie dough. Now I am afraid to let my children do this. Of course, the batter is not straight raw egg. And I wonder to myself (while they are begging for a taste and even sneak it behind my back) am I being too strict? What do you guys think/do? Is it OK do you think to let the children have a small taste? Is it that potentially harmful? What do you do in your households? Thanks!
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Q
Chicago, IL
This is just out of curiosity.
My stepdaughter was really into Webkinz. She started collecting them a year ago and between her mom's house and ours she had about 17. (For those that don't know Webkinz are stuffed animals that include an online code so you can have a pet to play with on their site as well.) She played on the website maybe one or two times a week. She played with the stuffed animals maybe once a week.
For Christmas she asked for lots of Webkinz. I knew she hardly ever played with the stuffed animals or the online site, so I refused to buy her any for Christmas and bought her craft stuff instead (which she plays with all the time). She screamed and made a big deal at Christmas over opening the Webkinz (she wasn't excited about the craft stuff) but they have sat IN A BAG shoved in her closet since Christmas. She logged them all in but hasn't asked to play on the site.
She keep asking for MORE Webkinz. I refuse to buy her any because she has a bagful she never plays with. Her aunt likes to buy her Webkinz when she gets to see her because that's what gets her all excited, but I know they will sit in her closet. She never wants craft stuff when we go to the store but I know that's all she likes to do, make things with paint, glitter, glue, stickers and paper.
Are you the same way? Do you refuse to buy your kids what they ask for because you KNOW they won't play with it?
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Q
Saginaw, MI
Okiee this is an add on to my first question. ( see below) Do u believe that babies can have issues with not having mommy or daddy time enough ?? A person at work suggest that maybe he realizes that he wants more time with me and that is why he wakes up at night so i will take him to bed with me. It kinda is weird cause he does only cuddle with me mostly and i noticed if i am at the computer he sits at my feet playing alot. Do u think 15 month olds or younger can realize things like that?? I have had my other daughters cry when i left before but he gets quite alot of my attention. Any ideas or suggestions ??
Okiee here it is .... My 15 month old little guy will not go to sleep in his own bed for me or his father. We currently have my brother stayin with us and he puts him to bed for us. Alls he has to do is lay him on his belly with his butt in the air and tell him good night with his hand on his back for 2 minutes and andrew lays there and goes to sleep. If me or his father tries he wont do it. Heres the other thing.... after my brother puts him to bed.... he seems to wake up around 4am. Ouch have to get up at 6 for work lol NO MATTER what we do he will not go back to sleep. We try the whole firm thing like my brother does but he wont go back to sleep. I even tried lettin him cry uggg which don't work cause he echos through the house and wakes everyone up. I even stood over top of his crib firm for 2 hours and still didn't work. Nothing works unless i put him in bed with us and he just falls asleep on his own tossin and turn with the dog for 2 hours. Lately we been lettin him stay up until he falls asleep any where like the floor under his high chair tonite .... just so maybe he will sleep longer. Its usually around 10pm that he has been passing out. Does anyone have any any suggestions. I have 2 older girls in which i had no extra problems with but oh boy does my little guy give me a run for my money lol HELP !!!
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Q
New York, CT
I am raising my grandchildren with no help from the other grandmother. My daughter gets upset because I won't go to her son's other grandmother's house and get some things she claims she has, yet this grandmother is barely in his life. Now I am asking am I wrong for not willing to do this? I am asking this because I had a big blow out with my daughter about this matter.
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Q
San Francisco, CA
So my hubby and I are supposed to be going on a vacation to India this November (just us, no children). We are scheduled to be gone for almost three weeks. We will be attending a wedding then traveling to Goa and then back to Delhi for some sightseeeing. Problem lies in that I've never been away from any of my kids for that long and it is scaring me to death....to the point where I am no longer wanting to go. My two older children won't mind so much but my youngest is only four and I'm afraid he will have the hardest time. We are having to leave them with two sets of grandparents who will split time watching them...not the ideal situation. I trust they will take care of my kids but can't help but worry how this will affect my children. A large part of me feels guilty for leaving for so long and asking my inlaws to be responsible for them. My husband is totally excited and would get on the plane right now if he had the option...aaaggghhh! What if something happens to us? What if something happens to them while we're gone? Am I overthinking it? Can anyone give me advise on how to handle the pre-seperation anxiety I'm having? Should I just stay home?
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Q
Fort Myers, FL
Last night I was bending over and picking up a game that my child left out when my back suddenly hurt really bad...I thought maybe I had threw it out. I still have the extreme back pain and now Im rather wet down south and cant tell if it is because my water has broken or not. This is my second child and when my water broke with my first, it was very disgunishible between urine and my water breaking...Anyone know whats going on? Have I gone into labor? BTW I just turned 8 months on the 30th of June
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Q
Dallas, TX
Hi Mom-
I am expecting baby #2 in early June and my son will be almost four when this baby is born. Anyone out there with kids in this age range and what did you do? I am debating between a single stroller and a double. My son is pretty good about staying close to me but I'm a bit concerned if we are out for a long time and he gets tired of walking...
Your opinions/experiences are much appreciated!
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Q
Chicago, IL
My daughter is 13 1/2 months and is currently at daycare. She is still in the infant room but are trying to move her up to the next toddler room. In order to do that, she has to drop her morning nap. Well, DD is extremely fond of her morning nap. She could sleep 2-3 hours and skip her afternoon nap if needed. Problem is she needs to ween off her morning nap.
I have heard that "they will do it themselves when they are ready." But, I am ready and really would like her to move up to the next class. Has anyone tried to "sleep train" them to skip their morning nap. Slowly moving it out until she naps at around 12/12:30 only? If she isn't doing it on her own, is there anything wrong with pushing it a little?
Anyone had any experience with this? Am I crazy or am I going to really wreck havoc on her sleep patterns if I try to push it along?
Thanks for your feedback.
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Q
Grand Rapids, MI
my daughter will be 2 in a few months and we think its almost time to be done with the paci. She only uses it to sleep and its been this way for a long time. shes still very attached to it, though, and asks for it at other times - we just dont let her have it. i know sleeping will be really hard to get used to without the paci. ive tried getting her attached to other objects but that doesnt seem to be working. other ideas??
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Q
New York, NJ
Hi I have a 3 year old son who is going to be having tubes put in his ears, He is also going to be having his tonsils and adnoids taken out. Just wanted to know if anyone else has had this done
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Q
Boise, ID
My pediatrician recommends that new borns don't go out in public for the first 4-8 weeks. This is to avoid illness and having to get a spinal tap for a very young infant that becomes sick. I don't mind the time at home, but I am starting to go stur crazy in the house, any suggestions on how to spend the first few weeks?
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Q
Syracuse, NY
I have a little boy who just turned 1 and I was wondering if there are any ideas out there on starting to get him potty trained early. I'm not expecting miracles but I thought if I gave him the idea early it would help us in the long run. Any ideas would be helpful.
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Q
Spokane, WA
Hello ladies...
Is there any truth to the old saying "early to walk, late to talk"? My 8 month old (8 months on Oct.4th) lil' girl is walking! Not just trying a few steps walking but full blown lots of steps in a row , bending and picking things up and continue to walk, walking! She is not much of a verbal child however and everyone has said lately when they hear she is walking the early walk/late talk saying and I was wondering what your experience with this issue is. I would just like to add that seeing how she is my last child it makes me kinda sad to see her progressing so quickly and I am not in a hurry for her to talk, which is funny because with my older two I just couldn't wait to hear how their lil' voices would sound!:)
Thank you,
K.
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Q
Boston, MA
So, my son will be a year old next week. I have not done anything just "for me" since he was born. I am a full-time working mother. So I already have the guilt because I'm not with him during the day on weekdays. Before having a baby, I danced for a dance company in Boston. I've danced all my life and it is something that I hold very dear to my heart. I no longer dance for a dance company and I am 100% good with that - that part of my life is over and I'm happy about it. However, I would still like to take a dance class here and there to keep in touch with my dancer friends, to excercise, and to have something that's just "me" and not about being a mommy. So starting tonight... once a week (every Tues), I will be taking a class. However, this means that I leave work and go straight to the studio to make a 6:00 pm class. I will not get home until my son is in bed. So I will not see him until tomorrow morning!!!! I feel awful about it and still unsure if I should even go... part of me says "it's only once a week and it will be good for me"... but the other part of me says "this is so unfair to my son and I feel sooo mean and guilty and feel like I'm a terrible mother if I do this!!!" Can I please get some honest advice???
Thanks so much for taking the time to read/respond - I appreciate it :-)
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Q
Jacksonville, FL
Hello Ladies...
I have three children. Ages 17, 15 and 4. My 4 year old is so attached to me and I seem to be the only one in the family that plays with her. The teenagers are too busy with other things. She follows me EVERYWHERE, I can not even go to the bathroom with out her. Now don't get me wrong, I love her with all my heart and soul, I just need a break! SHe is VERY energetic and will not play by herself. If I tell her that I can not play right now, she will tell me that she doesn't like me or she will say that I dont love her and she will go in her room and slam her door. My oldest daughter taught her that! I can only play so much my little pony, school, house, barbies etc...
She goes to 4 year old Kindergarten and fulltime daycare. You would think that she would be tired when she gets home. NO....she bounces off the walls. She has to be entertained 24/7. How do I get her to play by herself for a while???
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Q
Los Angeles, CA
Hi moms. I'm recently unemployed from a full time, very high stress job. My daughter has been in a daycare facility full time since she was a year old and LOVES it. My delima is that I'm having a hard time finding a new job and I am now forced to drop her down to 2 days a week for financial reasons. Although I'm really excited to have this extra time with my beautiful girl, I'm not sure how to keep her entertained the 3 days she'll be at home with me. I've always been a career girl and this is new territory for me. I am still looking for a replacement full time job, but the longer I'm away from the corporate world, the less attractive it becomes. I'd love to be a SAHM if I could rearrange my finances accordingly. Any feedback on this subject would extremely appreciated.
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Q
Columbus, OH
Hi moms,
My boys just had their preschool speech & hearing screenings today and both failed their Middle Ear screenings. Has anyone had any experience with this? We were referred to Ohio ENT and they have seven different doctors, so if anyone has gone here and has a doctor to recommend or to stay away from, I'd appreciate the info.
Thanks!
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Q
Seattle, WA
My daughter's father took off without a word almost two months ago, moved to North Carolina, and didn't call our three year old for over a month. He and his girlfriend (who he left to be with) are coming back for a week to visit on the 31st and he thinks that I need to leave my child with him for the entire week. I've never met his girlfriend. They had only been dating for two weeks when they moved out there. My ex is shifty at the best of times. I trust his mother to no end, but she will be at work during the day and she works 10 hour days. I didn't trust him before he left, and I don't see any reason to start now. I honestly don't want her to go see him at all while he's here, but he called her while she was visiting her grandma and told her that he was coming. Am I wrong for telling my ex that he can't have her to himself while he's here? I've said that I will drive her over there after his mother gets off of work so that she can supervise the visits. That was the arrangement before he left and he hasn't given me any reason to change it. I would really appreciate some advice.
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Q
Salt Lake City, UT
We are merging a family. I have two boys who are 8 and 10. My finance has a 4 yr old boy. They have bonded well, and play well. Both my finance and I have ex's with out of control behaviors-to the point of stalking injunctions and protective orders. Does anyone know how to counter act the effects their demonic behavior have on the children? We are seeing family councelors-but it takes so much time, money, and they seem to just give simple answers-vs-an understanding of how to deal with all of this. Has anyone else been through this? Does anyone know of anyone who does security systems with video camera's?
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Q
Houston, TX
My son David (8) and his stepbrother who is (5 1/2) both had their first baseball games last week. David played so good that he got award for MVP for that game. The coach gives out award each game to a player that did really good during the game. Well my son was so happy...his smile went around his head. Well right after he got the award his stepmom came up to him and stated in front of his team and his relatives "See how fun this is but if you want to continue this-you better not get any more marks on your conduct!" I made the comment to her "Did he get anymore marks?" She said "no"...I said then we're ok! I was in shock and so was my brother that was standing there. I think his conduct should be brought up but it was not the place. His bright smile was gone-she ruin his moment. My brother said she was jealious that my son did better then her child. When I brought it up to my ex-he said "He agreed with his wife and it is what it is but I am intitled to my opinion". I said it was not right that his conduct was brought up at the game but his stepbrother's was not....both kids have been getting marks. My son for talking but his grades are A's & B's. His stepbrother kicked a girl in the throat. His dad sided with his new wife...... So I took my son aside and told him "I think your conduct should be brought up but I don't think it should have been brought up at your game. I don't think I was wrong with saying this and heing upset.............
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Q
Albuquerque, CO
My 3 yr old son has always been a big drooler since he was a baby. Around 2 1/2 we got him to nearly stop drooling (at least it didn't seem to be an issue). Now, at 3, he is drooling excessively again. I try to remind him to swallow or wipe his chin, but he just doesn't seem to even think about it. Any advice?
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Q
Phoenix, AZ
I am looking for advice. Are their any mommas that have left a successful/rewarding career when babies came? So much of all I worked for since college has materialized. Now, I want to raise babies - will this transition be easy? any advice? anything I need to know?
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Q
Boston, NH
Hi Moms -
I am 38 and just about to enter my 2nd trimester with my 3rd child. I have 2 boys already, ages 7 years and the youngest just turned 13 months. I am utterly exhausted! I mean, to the point where I am fore-going all housework and sometimes even showers just to nap when my youngest is napping. Needless to say my house is falling apart and I am a mess. My husband works long hours and is unable to really help out, and with today's economy there is no way I can afford a cleaning service. So, I guess what I am looking for is advice on how to get my energy level up. I'm taking prenatal vitamins, but they don't seem to do anything. Any health drinks or diets out there that could help?
Thanks!
R.
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Q
New York, NJ
Hello all. I am new to the group. I have a couple of questions. First off, I am approximately 18 1/2 weeks pregnant with twins..It is my 3rd pregnancy. I have a healthy son and daughter. My concern is that I only feel small flutters once in awhile. With my other 2 I remember feeling them kicking me constantly around the 16th week. The babies were both healthy 2 weeks ago and I saw their hearts beating at the ultrasound. Do twins just have a tendancy to lay more dormant? I worry constantly that something is wrong. Can someone please ease my mind? I have another ultrasound in a week, but I am worried that something is terribly wrong.
I also am extremely scared to bring two more babies into this world. Is that a normal feeling? I am a great mother, but I feel so horrible because I can't be as happy as I want to be expecting twins.
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Q
St. Louis, MO
Hello everyone. In daycare they have warned us that our kiddos will start asking the question WHY? with everything they experience. WELL, mine seems totally different. It is almost like she doesn't understand what WHY is. When she does something that she isn't supposed to do I will ask her "Kylie, why did you do that?" and her answer is ALWAYS "by myself". It doesn't matter what the situation is that is the reply. So, my question to all of you is how do you explain what you are asking? Is she at a stage that she wouldn't understand it? My husband and I are both at a loss on how to explain what we want to know so that she understands what we are saying. Any suggestions? BTW, my daughter will be 3 the beginning of Feb.
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Q
New York, NY
this question are for people with 2 or more children. I am ready to extend my family. I just would like to know if the financial part of having more than one child overwhelming. I also would like to know is it all worth it in the end. My joy in live are children. i just want some opinions on having two or more children versus one whether good or bad. Only real delay i have is my job i will have to stop work while pregnant, because of heavy lifting.
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Q
Dallas, TX
I have found myself in a rut of everyday life. I want to do more stuff with my kids but money is tight so we cant afford to do lots of things....going out to eat is something we cant do either very often. I work full time and clean houses on the side so I stay pretty busy. But on the weekends or even during the week I need some suggestions on what the kids and I can do. My oldest is 15 and my other son is 9 and my daughter is 7. Any ideas???
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Q
Modesto, CA
My other half took a graveyard job a few months ago and I can't help but to feel really overwhelmed. We have a 5 year old girl and I am a full time college student and also work a part time job. The problem is that since he works graveyards he sleeps during the day and with our daughter being in school she only sees him for about 2 hours before he goes to work. She is always telling me that she misses daddy and asks when he is going to get a day off. The second problem that this presents is that he is not making enough money to support all three of us. I would love to work more but have to jam all of my classes and what work I can get into the 4 hours a day that she is in school because he is sleeping all day and we don't have after school care. (Can't afford child care with what he makes alone) How are either of us going to make money if he continues to work these shifts. On top of that, I am getting really lonely with not having him here with me at night, and him sleeping all day, it is messing up my sleep schedule too. I stay up at night and worry about him. (He works in a kind of bad area in town) I feel like a am a single mom sometimes because neither me or my daughter ever see him and I do everything by myself without him now. What should I do? I have tried to talk him into taking another shift but he says he likes working graveyard.
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Q
Boston, MA
I just recently had a baby three months ago and I am having such a tough time getting my fiance to help me with the baby.He claims hes not that experienced and ( mind you he has a 12 year old from a previous relationship)gives me a hard time when I ask him to help me out. I dont know if its him being lazy or what.He getss all upset and yells when I ask him to do things for her.Occasionally he will but very rarley. Now throughout my entire pregnancy he claimed he wanted a baby and it was even planned but he showed no signs that he was intrested in my develeopment at all. This makes me sad . what should I do.
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Q
Minneapolis, MN
seeking advice on the best way to foster more as a parent with a father and his son. He is little almost 3 and we are currently seperated and in the middle of a situation with our marriage. He does the weekly time/wknd, but often doesn't go beyond. He loves him but he doesn't always prioritze him in the way that I feel he should. There has been some slight improvment as he doesn't see him daily, yet he is someone who really values adult time and would do happy hours vs coming straight home from work or stop at the house to do a few errands etc before geting him at daycare. He comes from divorced family and was initially leary of having kids, though he does love our son.
Thanks for your advice.
Shelly
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Q
Mansfield, OH
Background first...My husband works almost 60 hours a week and drives an hour to and from work. On top of that he gets up at 4AM everyday inorder to get to work on time and when he works overtime it's in the form of 16 hour shifts, which gets him home a little after 11PM only to have to get up at 4 and start all over again. He does this so that we can afford for me to stay at home with our son who is 16 months old. I breastfeed and my son would not take a bottle, which I think also plays a role in this.
The uncomplicated version of this story is that our son seems to be very indifferent toward his father. He has not had trouble bonding with the other people in his life and is VERY affectionate with me. My hope is not that you would have a lot of advise on what to do about this now (although that would be great), but I was hoping that there would be other families who are going through the same thing. I need to know that this is going to be OK once my son gets older. I feel a little panicky about it. This is not how I invisioned my family. My husband is crushed and I feel so disappointed that my husband and my son don't have a stronger bond.
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Q
Atlanta, GA
My daughter, who is almost 6, has this crazy fear about getting her nails trimmed. If we want to trim her nails we have to hold her down while she screams -- and I do mean screamed! Screaming, yelling, shouting! I don't know what to do. I wish she would just bite her nails! (Never thought I would say that). Any suggestions to calm her, because I am not willing to hold her down to trim nails!
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Q
Boston, MA
I am a little embarressed to be asking this, but does anyone out there ever feel alone? I became a SAHM after I had my son about 16 months ago and also have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I worked full time up until my son was born. I have a wonderful husband who works A LOT to support the family. I think it is a huge transition going from working full time to being home every day with the children. I feel EXTREMELY fortunate to be able to stay home, but I am finding it to be lonely at times, not to mention challenging. When I say lonely I mean the lack of adult interaction that I was used to having. I try to keep the kids busy but I think I need to start meeting some other moms who are in the same boat as me. It's easier said than done! I am hoping I am not the only person who feels this way!
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