I am just wondering what everyone's opinion is for the Thank You that was given by a little boy for a birthday party and reaction from a guest. For background, this little boy is currently 7 years old (his mom deserves a Goddess/Sainthood award). He was not expected to live beyond a month when he was born. The doctors told his parents to expect a short time with him. His mom is a stepsister to a friend of mine and is an extremely nice person. Ben was not expected to ever walk, he started when he was 4 or so. He can say words you would expect from a 2 yr old. He is very generous with others and loves to be around people and animals. He cannot yet hold a pencil to write but can read a few sight words. They had a birthday party for him a few weeks ago. Gin-mom-borrowed an apartment closer to Chicago so her guests from the area would not have to travel to Southern Illinois for the party but the guests from the south would not have to drive really far either. This made it harder on herself since Ben uses a wheel chair when he gets too tired to walk. She included the info in the invites and also included a little update to how he is doing and what he likes to play with (including what they are currently using to improve his motor skills). At the party everyone appeared to have had a good time. At the end, the little boy wanted to personnaly thank everyone as they left. He told them thanks for coming and having cake and thanks for the present. His speech is not perfect but he can be understood. I am told that he fell asleep within 5 minutes of everyone leaving while mom and sis cleaned the apartment. Here is where I would like your opinion. Gin is always considering others when she does something (like the party location). She did not put anything in the invite saying "for a gift please buy..." but wanted any gifters to consider Ben's skills level. Her cousin's new wife called her the day after the party. She complained about the location--an extra 3 miles for her to drive, complained about not having a vegetarian dish (she eats meat), complained about the invites saying that Gin should not have told everyone what to buy, and complained about having to wait a few mintues to get out the door when Ben was thanking everyone. She also said she guessed she should not expect a thank you note in the mail. My friend said she seemed fine at the party, talking to some people since she did not know that many and did not say anything when she was waiting by the door. She did tell Ben happy birthday before walking out. Gin is very upset and feels like she failed somehow because one of the guests was not happy. That is how Gin is. She said she was going to just let this go but still feels uncomfortable and should she do anything to "fix" it. My friend and I don't think she needs to do anything. According to etiquette rules, everyone was thanked in person so notes don't need to go out but now she is wondering if each guest should get one. She does plan to send one to the cousin's wife though. What do you think about this? BTW, her cousin heard about this and told her not to worry about it. Everything was great and he hopes Ben has fun with his gifts.
What the hell is wrong with this woman. What a sweet and caring thing for Ben to do....many kids his age with no impairment would not think to do that.
What a mean-spirited guest. She is definitely tempting karma and I wish her some trials of her own. I agree with you.
I'm totally with you and your friend.
Clearly there is nothing anyone on this planet can do to make this woman happy, as the world tends to revolve around her and no one else. Why bother? It will never been good enough for her. Is she going to complain that the thank you note wasn't written on reclaimed organic paper with soy-based ink? Or that it isn't legible or worded perfectly?
Gin should be given a crown for she is truly a princess in trying to accommodate both her guest and her son. BRAVO to her!
Gin should also block this horrid woman out of her mind and never invite her to another party if she's going to be this freaking ungrateful.
(I know, I'm being harsh...but I abhor ugliness like this.)
If I was thanked at the party, and in such a beautiful way by a cherished child, I would not expect a thank you note; however, considering this situation, I would save mine in a scrapbook, if the child helped to make it.
Your friend Gin's cousin's new wife sounds like a spoiled brat. Plain and simple. I wish that I could give Gin the willpower to ignore the wife, but Gin sounds like a sensitive soul and it is so hard to ignore people when they are cruel, especially when the meanness happens in a family context or one involving our precious children.
Why on earth her cousin's wife felt the need to call and complain is beyond me. Some people completely lack empathy. They are so caught up in their own drama, they don't stop for a second to think, "Wow, this mom is fantastic with her child. It must be a challenging life for the two of them. How can I help?" Instead, they focus on their own petty issues.
I think it is totally appropriate for Gin to suggest gifts that might be helpful to her son, considering he has special motor needs. I would have appreciated that as a guest and not thought "Mom is telling me what to buy."
I am glad the cousin knows this happened and can keep an eye on his wife's behavior in the future. I don't think Gin has to do ANYTHING at all to repair the relationship with the new wife. Hopefully, their paths will rarely cross again and if they do, Gin knows now to keep her distance and not expose herself or her child to such a woman.
You are a nice friend, mama! Take Gin a bottle of wine, kick back and let her rant about this woman!!
