What Would You Do? - Saint Charles,MO

I would prevent the behavior by holding his hand, strapping him into a stroller, and leaving said place if he refuses to cooperate. It's obnoxious, not to mention unsafe, for that type of behavior to be allowed. Talk to him about how to behave before you arrive and hold him to it.

Welcome back!!!

When my kids failed to listen in public - they were to hold my hand or go into a stroller.

At ALMOST 3 - he knows what he is doing is wrong. He is testing his boundaries to see what he can get away with. And it's now become a game....chase Johnny....don't chase him. Stop and tell him to come back to you. Use a firm voice. Tell him the consequences if he does NOT do as you say -

a. we are leaving (and MEAN IT)
b. you will go in the stroller.
c. you will HAVE to hold my hand.

You have to mean what you say. If you say, "we are leaving" and don't. He knows you are NOT serious and can get away with it. It's NOT a game. You are not there to be his friend. You are there to parent him. This is the toughest stage as they are learning independence, right from wrong, etc.

I'll say it again.....You have to be the parent. Not the friend. Set rules. Set boundaries and consequences for misbehaving and rewards for behaving.

For example, when my boys were younger and they wanted a piece of candy after we were finished grocery shopping, they would have to behave...if I had to talk to them - they lost. If they behaved, they were rewarded...some call it a bribe...but really...you go to work, you get paid. You were rewarded for your job.

Make it his job to behave.

Good luck!!

Ditto Cheryl O. My umbrella stroller was such a grace; it was small, portable, and perfect for necessary containment. I used "you may stay with me/hold my hand/etc OR you may sit in the stroller" a lot at this age. Esp. when I was gardening and he kept edging toward the street. I DID give him stuff to do in the stroller, because I understand that it's very difficult for a toddler NOT to be a busy little person, and I wanted to teach him to sit and play instead of running around at times. This worked really well for us.

Read what Cheryl O had to say. Excellent.

About the reward for behaving in the grocery store. . . NEVER give the reward in the store. ALWAYS give the reward after the trip to the store or stores is over. That teaches delayed gratification. You don't want to teach them instant gratification. It makes them much harder to control and their version of when a treat is earned is always different than yours.

Its only a phase if YOU allow it to be a phase.

Good luck to you and yours.

Here's a slightly different perspective. It sounds like crowds give your son a case of sensory overload. Huge numbers of people - huge (to him) people, milling everywhere -- are too much for him to process, so he gets overwhelmed and the rational parts of his brain shut down. Some kids (mine among them) deal with this by getting clingy and panicky, some tantrum, and some rev their little motors up as a way of screening out the chaos. The great thing is, they outgrow it. It's very seldom a big deal or a lifelong thing. Just find a simple, comfortable way to keep him close enough for safety, and don't assume he's manipulating you. Kids this teeny aren't savvy enough to pick a certain context and then deliberately start pushing their boundaries. They'll do it all over the map if they're ready to do it, but a contextual reaction is more likely a sensory response.

There are places where it's ok to run around and there are places where it's not ok to run around.
Pumpkin patch, play ground, out door places (fields, yards, gyms, etc) are fine places for running.
Parties, indoor places, parking lots are not good places for that.
Hold his hand, or pick him up, if you know you have a party coming up then run him around and exhaust him beforehand.

As soon as he is old enough, get him in a sport. He can play soccer at 4, usually. Get him outside for lots of physical activity. Sounds like an active kid!

p.s. - The others have good suggestions for controlling him, but sometimes at two, they don't do well in certain situations. That is why when you want to enjoy yourself at a Christmas party, you often have to get a babysitter. We didn't eat at restaurants a lot when our kids were little, because it wasn't relaxing or fun.

I don't think this is an indication that anything is wrong with him -- two year old kids restrict your life a lot.

He's at the age where he's learning what is expected and allowed in different situations. You need to teach him what is expected... a lot of talking before hand will help, as will removing him from situations if he won't behave. No one wants to leave a Christmas party early, but if he won't stop running around when you tell him to stop (and hold his hand, pick him up, put him in a stroller, whatever) - then it's time to leave. If you're consistent he'll learn.

My son has always needed extra help in the restraint department ... at that age we used a child restraint, aka leash, to keep him close but allowing him some freedoms. My son loved his monkey (it was a monkey and we held the tail) SO VERY MUCH that he slept with it (as a lovey) some nights and was sad when he was too big to wear it anymore. The point is that "monkey" was a visual cue for him that this was a time and place where he needed to be close to us but was able to still explore.

We got all kinds of looks, some approving, some dissaproving and all were none of their business.

Children need to learn that there is a time and place for everything and you see that they know when each time is. Also they need to learn to respect other peoples homes and possessions and running in their home doesn't do that. Tell him ahead of time and then you had some good suggestions from Cheryl O and Hazel W and a few others. If they learn now it will be so much easier from now on.

Kids like clear, easy rules. Like stores are for walking, not running. There are loud talking places and quiet talking places. There are running places and walking places, etc. When we go to costco, I tell him he can walk, but if it's too crowded, he goes in the cart - he can choose front or back. For mine, when he knew what he could do at which place, it helped. A party is not a running place. A pumpkin patch IS a running place. Check out Love and Logic (books at libraries or bookstores, and website loveandlogic.com). It's a great parenting style/tool - you can start having him make choices that get you the behavior you want, while giving him some freedom. Like - you can walk with mommy, or you can ride in the cart (for running places).

Hi, I can totally relate. My son is the energizer bunny. When DH was(is) around we tag team--it takes both of us. When we go to a restaurant, if it's too long a wait and all of the things we've brought to keep him occupied no longer work, we take turns taking him outside. When he outgrew the stroller--umbrella style (he figured out how to stand up with the thing strapped on to his behind and walk around), we began using a lead. Ours was a backpack that contained special outing toys/activities. I would reward my son with a lolipop at the end of grocery shopping in the checkout line. Depending on your size and your son's, you can use a backpack style carrier. We used ours A LOT. Also, we used and still use time outs wherever we are. When the weather is not too cold/hot, he sits in the car alone while we stand outside. If it's too cold/hot, we find another secluded place for him to take a time out. It just depends on the circumstance and situation. My son is now 7, and I have a pretty good sense of when/where/what and how much he and I can handle. There are times when I still endure those looks or comments as I guide him screaming from a situation, but my skin is much thicker. Yours will get that way too. Hang on and be ready for a ride.

As I mentioned in your other question...I have a kid like this too...and it can drive a mommy crazy sometimes. If you are being consistent and disciplining when situation calls for it then I'm sure he's fine. He's not out-of-control...just highly active :)

Oh yes, you are not alone, my son did this too! He is now 3 (turned 3 in Sept) but from about 1-almsot 3 we had issues like this. My son just has tons of energy and he is very excited to explore, so he did! ;)

I used the do "this" or go in the stroller technique and it worked like a charm! I didn't keep him in there the entire time remaining, just maybe 15 minutes or so and then I'd give him another chance. When he got past 2 I did use the holding hand thing too and that helped, but the stroller was easier and safer.

I am a pretty adventurous person and don't let many things deter me from doing an activity or going somewhere, but on certain days, even I passed on going someplace if I had to go alone with my 2 kids...not often, but sometimes you gotta know when to say no.

As far as being "that person", other people might give you the stink eye, but I think your kid and you are totally normal! I mean kids are supposed to be silly, run and explore. Yes there are times and places and you need to reinforce it, but at the same time you just sometimes have to deal with it and I think you did the right thing by taking him outside, etc. You have a busy boy on your hands and try not to let other people get you down about it!

Part of its his age and another part is just working with him on learning to behave himself. If he starts up the behavior you need to make him take a time out or perhaps even leave the location all the while stressing that he is not allowed to run around. Or you bring a long a stroller and tell him he will have to go in the stroller if he doesn't stay by you. Its just lots of practice and working with him. Good luck!