Ok, here is my delihema. I have a 2 1/2 year old that I have recently entered into a Nannyshare situation because of multiple previous child care issues. Bad centers, bad nannies, etc. I have been through it all. I went back to work 10 months ago, and it has been one disaster after another. All of which were significant issues. First there was a nanny that was letting my 19 month old run up and down the sidewalk (up to 4 houses) while she sat on the porch. Then another one who sat him in front of the TV all day. Next was a day care center where he SCREAMED for 3 days and when I finally confrotned the director about it, they said they had a "policy" against picking up the kids because they didn't want to spoil them. After that it was the what I THOUGHT was a great center until he turned two and the new Teacher was a piece of work. She refused to take him to the potty stating he was too young, would argue with me about nothing in front of him and all the other kids, and he lost 1 1/2 lbs in a month and a half because they fed him things like Cheetos and water for snacks.
So, I decided to go with a nanny share. Found a family that I liked, the kids do well together, are about the same age, and we only live about 4 blocks from each other. We hired what we thought was an amazing nanny and then, boom, her 3rd week she drives the kids to the zoo and doesn't fasten them in their car seats properly. My son climbed out of his seat, and she never even stopped to put him back in.
Soooooo, we fired her. Here is my big issue. My brother, who is taking a sabatical from college (where he was an Early Elem Ed Major) for the time being has seen how much trouble I am having and would like to be our "Manny." He came up with monthly lesson plans, and weekly focus areas, a weekly schedule, etc. The other family has stated on multiple occasions that they are amazed at how good he is with both kids. They have agreed to let him be our interim nanny, but don't want to do it long term.
I am not sure if this is because of him being a guy, or if it is because he is my brother, or what the story is. They claim that they think he might change his mind in 6 months and decide he didn't want to do it anymore, but as far as I am concerned, what is the guarentee that someone we hire off the street will NOT do that? And even they have admitted that we know the kids would be in great hands with him.
Anyway, part of me feels like if they don't want to go with him, with all of the hassle I have had trying to find someone that is trustworthy, should I find someone who would go with him? Would you consider a "Manny?" Before I went back to work, I was nannying and I brought my son with me, so I know that not everyone would have issues with him being a family member. I don't know, I am having such a hard time with this. Child care is so scary anyway, and when I have an option like this, it just seems silly to me to trust my son to a stranger? What do you all think???
I just wanted to let everyone know that the other family did come around to loving my brother. Last weekend they called me and told me they didn't even want to keep looking for interviews because they couldn't say enough how amazing he was with the kids. Thank you guys so much for your support! I am glad I stuck to my guns.
Jen
I would definately go with your brother. Seems like the smartest and safest choice. Why do you need another family to do this with? If they do not like the idea, let them know that this is what you are doing, sorry, but they must find another family to share with then. I do not see a dillema here.
Personally, I would leave the group and use your brother myself if the other parents have a problem with it. They may be looking at it from the standpoint that he is your family and may favor your child over theirs and the idea that he will quit after 6 months is a cover up.
Trust your gut feeling and do what is best for your child.
Good luck,
S.
I agree with everyone else about going with your brother. My kids are either with my mother or my sister and I love it. Would you mind naming the center you brought your little boy to?
I would go with your brother. He seems like he is doing a good job, and you trust him so why not. If I had the option of a trustworty relative I would do it. After all the problems you have had so far, I think I would do it.
Go with your brother. Since you feel comfortable with him and he is great with the kids (plus, you know very him and he knows how you are raising your child), I would say stick with him. If I could afford a nanny/manny, I would go that route. Society is so prejudiced against men in a child care or educational situations. But I would choose the situation that makes you feel most comfortable (that gut feeling).
He sounds great to me. I wouldn't change a good thing after so many bad. If the other family want to change I would stick with your brother and find a new family to share with.
It won't be easy to find someone who actually cares enough to do creative project with your child, and that's priceless.
Go with family while you can. Plain and simple. You just can't trust others as much as family. And wow... your brother sounds like he is great with kids. As for the people you share with... you tell them you are going with your brother. And hopefully they'll join you.
I would go with your brother. Then when your son is old enough to talk and your brother is moving on to something else and can tell you what is going on then look at other options. If you are looking for other moms ask in your area. Put up signs at stores. Ask other moms groups. Put an ad in the paper or online. Ask at work. Good luck
I would let your brother be your Manny, whether or not the other family wants to participate.
I also applaud you for doing what is best for your child, and not just what is convenient. You can get another nanny, another job, another anything, but you can't replace your child's security and well-being.
Being a mom is tough enough, and being a single mom is even tougher, but you are doing everything you should, and I agree with all your actions, including not leaving your son with any stranger or sitter.
Do what you feel is right. Follow your instinct. And don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with.
I applaud you!!
