Male Nanny "Manny"

We have a male sitter and he does a great job with the kids. I think it really boils down to if you trust the person you hire or not.

Why are moms saying if they had a BOY it would be ok? Hello, its MEN who mollest BOYS and girls...women don't. My answer would be NO WAY...well, more like OH HELL NO!!!! I would not risk it. Just my opinion.

Although my son is in daycare, if we were a nannying family, I would totally employ a qualified gentleman! I wish there were more men in daycare. My son is growing up with kind of a warped view of teachers (as in, they are only women). Thank goodness his Dad's a professor -- so he's got a positive example of a male teacher in his life.

I would have no problem hiring a male nanny. I have a male friend who is a great nanny but unfortunately has much more trouble finding a position then an equally qualified female. I too am interested to see responses as I am sure that are people out there that would prefer a female nanny.
For me, I know plenty of men who are great caretakers, so although it is traditionally a female role, I see no problem with male nannies.

As the mother of two sons and the sister of four brothers and the wife of a MAN....
I would not care whether or not the "manny" or "nanny" was a male or female. As long as they pass a background check, I feel comfortable with them, and my children like them, then they can watch my children.
Isn't it weird that as women we want to be treated equally but then when a man wants to do something that is normally a "woman's" job we wonder what is wrong with them? I hate that.
L.

I personally would not. However, from your responses it seems like offering males in your cadre would make sense for some families. For me...I wanted to have a motherly figure care for my children when I am not able to.

Many are saying that it isn't fair to judge...in this particular instance, when you are hiring a stranger to care for your own children...I think it is perfectly acceptable to judge people and to hire exactly who you feel comfortable with.

uhhhh... so hard to answer but No. I know there are probably 100 non-child molester male nannies out there for every 1 pedophile... but I just can't take that chance. Maybe because it's hit too close to home too many times. I feel sad that I am that way but I have my reasons.

No. I would not hire a male nanny. I would consider only female because, while I know our culture is deemed progressive and I'm sure a male could do a great job and a female could do a poor job (--Been there, dealt with that, it's part of the reason I resigned and became a SAHM again--) I have small children and I'm still not comfortable with the idea of any man, other than their father, spending time with them out of my sight. (Yes, I said, "...any".)
It wouldn't bother me if any of my friends hired a "manny", I'm just not okay with the idea of a "manny" for my own children. Maybe one day... Maybe.

We have a manny. He's a close family friend who is in his mid 30s, and worked in finance. He was a deacon, sunday school teacher, and b-ball coach. Prior to working for us, he had no experience with infants. He cared for our DS for 11 months at 15 hours a week. He is the picture of patience, and gentle to the core. We were lucky to have him.

Were we to have a nanny again I wouldn't hesitate to have a manny.
F. B.

For some fairly common circumstances (children with developmental disabilities such as Downs, ADHD, and Autism-- where the ASD disorders overwhelming affect boys) a manny may be preferrable. My 8yo ASD son does well with his female and his male teachers/paras, therapists. However, I notice he self-checks his behavior more when a male is in charge--if he does acts up males have been more effective at staying calm and quite in voice and demeanor and if need be more physically capable of catching up to him and escorting him to a time out. I speak from experience, our last 3 our of 5 au pairs have been male, and although my daughter (also 8) would probably prefer a female au pair like our first two were, she has connected fabulously with the males as well. Our first male au pair had extensive experience as a caregiver in an adult group home (severe disabilities) and he was THE MOST COMPETENT and compationate of our 5 caregivers. I recieved compliments from strangers and friends alike on how well he handled my (4 total) kids. My son's ABA therapist is male and also does amazing work with my son. His teacher and 2 classroom aids are male and they are also great. I think you will find a market niche for parents needing male caregivers who have some experience working with challenging children.

Lets see...

My dad was a great dad! My brothers are great dad's! My husband is a great dad! My son's are great brothers and awesome with kids.

Yes I would hire one. Men are just as capable and being loving and caring and meeting childrens needs just as much as women are. If they werent then why would we trust our husbands/ boyfriends/ SO/ dad/ brother/ uncle/ grandpa to be left alone with our kids? These manny's are someones family also. These guys shouldn't be judged just because they are male.

Just because your female doesn't mean your cut out to take care of kids. There are females who hurt kids out there also. There is just as many females who shouldn't take care of kids. Females are capable of hurting, abusing, killing kids also.

We had two different teen boys babysit for my kids when they were younger.. they were great with my boys! They got right down the on the floor and played with blocks and trucks. They would dig for hours in the sand box with them. They would curl up on the couch and read books together. They loved to be outside and find toads and ants and what ever else. My oldest son is a great babysitter. He loves being with younger kids and is so sweet and great with kids! Younger kids flock to him and he drops what he is doing ( even with his friends) and will play with the younger kids when they want to. I think its great that these kids ( boys and girls) look up to my son. He is a great role model ( in my eyes) for these kids. There is nothing sinister about his actions in anyway!

Of course I would consider a manny! I could see a manny being a better fit in our family of 4 boys and a girly tomboy than a miss priss girl sitter... I could also see a tomboy girl being a better fit than a clean cut male who doesn't like to get his hands dirty.

Depends on the guy or girl and the family who would be a better fit, it should be based on the person and it shouldn't be based on gender only!

I wouldn't have a problem hiring a male nanny. I would expect a full background as much as I would for a female. I'd want them to be compatible with us as well as I would expect for a female.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

If I had boys, I'd hire a male nanny. I have girls, though, so I prefer female nannies.

And, fwiw, I find that my older nephews have been far better/more nurturing/engaged with the youngest kiddos in the family than my nieces.

My brother was our nanny for about a year and he was pretty awesome. We called him our "Super Manny." However, I wouldn't feel comfortable hiring a male nanny. But I would feel uncomfortable with almost anyone I didn't know watching my kids, so maybe I'm not the best opinion for you. But I can tell you that if I had to hire someone, I'd hire a woman but probably not a man. Certainly most men are not child predators, but most child predators are men, so I'd just want to cut my chances as much as possible. Not fair, but I'm willing to do unfair to keep my kids as safe as possible.

Yes, if ever I had been in the market for an in-home child care provider, I would have been open to a male. I have three sons, and they would have enjoyed hanging out with a guy during the day.

I would hire the “right” manny, i.e., someone who could prove his professional intent and to whom I felt a connection of trust which is the same criteria we used for our nanny now. My husband is a part time SAHD and I like the balance of a male hand in raising our child. A devoted, professional nanny/manny is a third set of adult joining hands in the dirty work of raising and loving my child. How can that be wrong in my opinion? The sentiment of it takes a village is a valid one to me. The diversity of people, styles, outlooks, experiences, etc. In my mind all of those things brought to the table strengthen how my child is raised and ultimately will positively impact and shape the person he becomes.

I don’t think my husband would agree to a manny. I can’t say exactly why but I suspect it will have something to do with all or part of what I am going to suggest.

Having heard the stories from my SAHD husband, I have to mention a few negatives which immediately leap to mind for a manny, his agency and his potential employers. I know Fanged Bunny has a mentioned a manny who is a beloved older family friend. Her manny gets a bit of a free pass on some of my comments due to his age, though, assuming he’s in a certain age bracket. My husband has experienced confrontation, strange looks, and whispered conversations behind his back at places like the park, the library for story time and other traditional mother/child day events. Now allowing for some paranoia and self consciousness on his part as being the lone male in the group, I still believe it is an issue for enough to people to at least give pause in their decision to hire a manny. My husband is sometimes accepted if he attends a place enough times and works hard at being accepted. What a drag and an inhibition overall, though. Secondly my husband and our son don’t entirely look like father and son due to coloration which brings up another concern I have. Even adopted parents complain about being treated like the hired help when they are out and about with their children. What is the response going to be when a manny is out with his charge(s) who may look strikingly different from him? I can see leaps to conclusions regarding kidnapping, grooming and other nasty assumptions. Finally people have this predisposed notion regarding men as natural sexual predators. If there is even the whiff of sexually inappropriate conduct or behavior going on, the situation could deteriorate into a wicked mess very, very quickly. Perhaps my estimation of most people is low but I quite frankly think a manny would be a hard sell to the vast majority of people. It’s one of those good ideas on the surface with a very large ‘but’ trailing at the end. Good luck in your endeavors.

I absolutely would give as much consideration to a male as I would a female. As with anyone who would be taking care of my child, my most important factor would be how comfortable I am with the person. I do not see myself being biased based on gender. Many men are just as great at caring for children as women are. I do think I would have a heightened awareness for a while as to what interactions he has with my child than I would with a female, but as long as my child showed nothing negative and seems happy, I would gladly give the manny a chance.

I would be more inclined to hire one for older kids, like four and up, especially boys.
My son wasn't a nanny per se, but he had a regular job babysitting two boys (ages 9 and 12) a few times a month and they LOVED him! They told their parents he was a lot more fun than a girl because he actually played with them :)

I would not hire a male nanny. Why? It does not feel right. I wouldn't trust what motivates a man to take on a woman dominated roll. I would want a nanny to be nurturing, and men just aren't unless its their own children. I find that only woman are comfortable being nurturing to another persons child, and frankly it even takes a pretty special woman to be nurturing to another persons child. There are always exceptions to every rule, but the only way i'd feel comfortable with this is if it were a close family member and he'd had all kinds of younger siblings. Even then I'd prefer a female.

I don't think I would be worried as much about weather my nanny was a man or a woman as if they would take good care of my kids. My husband has watched our friends youngest for them several times as he's out of work and they needed someone to watch her and they know how good with kids he is. He is better with kids that i am. So no I would not have a problem with it.

I wouldn't rule out a childcare provider simply based on gender. However, I would more likely (I think) to hire a manny for an older boy. Let's face it... when they hit the "rough and tumble" phase of development they may be better with a man than with a woman.

If it was the right person with the right temperament for our family (and really good references), it wouldn't matter to use either way. Our "mother's helper" is a teenage boy and he's wonderful with my son! In fact, I just booked him for next Friday because I HAVE to get the baby's room together before she arrives!

If I had a son I would be open to hiring a "manny", especially once the child was out of the infant years.

If I were to hire a nanny in the first place, I would totally consider a male nanny/manny IF they had all the same qualifications that I'm looking for in a female nanny. But, those qualifications include enthusiastically participating in "girly" activities with my daughters (tea parties, pretend "shopping", arts & crafts, etc)...which I generally find to be rare, even in male caretakers.

I don't know. I have never actually had anyone watch my kids that I didn't know personally. Then again I am a SAHM so I don't have much call for a nanny or a manny. If I new the man and was comfortable with him, it wouldn't be an issue.
I just asked my husband and without any thought he said, "No."

I would look at qualifications on paper first, then I would want to meet male/female...then maybe introduce them to the kids and see how that goes. I would be hard on anyone no matter their gender. So if a male would pass all my tests, and background (all the same for a female) then yes I would.

However, I won't be in the market for a nanny ever so I am probably not a benchmark to use.

I have two grown sons, but I would have definitely have hired a male 'nanny' and still think that is a wonderful idea. When my children were growing up I tried to have boy babysitters and that was always wonderful. The boys loved them! Just throwing in my two cents. And the boy babysitters always did exactly what was expected.

It would depend on the person. Currently my DD spends time with a SAHD friend of ours and his son and I have no issues with him, but we've known him a long time and know him well. I think men can be excellent caretakers. One of my friend's son's teachers in preschool is a man and it's been really nice since Friend is a single mom. She says her son really likes having a male teacher.

That said, a manny would have a lot more to prove. I hate to sound sexist, but I have a little girl and especially before she could speak for herself, I would be less comfortable with a manny. A preschool teacher or elementary aged teacher is part of a class/school/group. A manny is one on one. He might have better chances if he has good character references, has had a background check, has a few more classes (like extra first aid certs or something) to prove he's serious about childcare. For example, someone asked if my SS ever babysat and I said that sometimes he did babysit DD and was good with her, etc. So maybe a family friend could be a good reference point for him, if they were willing to speak to families on his behalf.

(We also had a bad au pair, so I lean toward group care for my child if it is outside of family and friends.)

I would hire a manny if I had older boys and it was a part-time or semi-part time job. Once kids are in school, part of a full time nanny's job typically is some housekeeping, cooking etc and while sure a man could do that, men usually aren't into household chores at all so I'd have to kind of meet a manny who just loved to clean. But for an afterschool type of job for boys say 7 or older, sure. I think it'd be great. I suppose my image is a guy in his early 20's going to school who needs extra cash type thing and will play sports after school. Say a middle aged man... I think I'd be ok if there was a logical reason. ie: how many schools can afford PE teachers now? So maybe a former PE teacher/coach who isn't fully employed and needs some extra money. A man who previously sold cars or something totally unrelated I'd have a hard time. So I don't think nix a manny but people will be more suspect I think and it seems like more of a niche job.

I would not hire a male Nanny. I guess I am a little traditional. I know men can be wonderful with kids, but I don't think I would leave a man in charge of kids.

The school just hired a male for their after school program. I thought that was wonderful, although he has females with him. He is more interactive with the children. He plays cards, board games, checks, and sports with the children. Prior to that, I had just saw two boys wrestling and the teacher in charge did a great job at getting them to knock it off, but I do remember thinking they need a man for these bigger kids.

So back to my answer...I guess if I had two boys, I might. They can be a little more rough and out of control. Since I have a girl, never.

As long as he is qualified. I think it is a good thing to have children to have men in the childcare field.