What About Time Outs?

I have a 3 year old boy who I love with all of my heart which im having the same problem with. I have tried the time outs and putting him in his room. i have even tryed taking things away from him and that doesnt work. so if you find a solution please let me know and good luck.

N.,
I have another opinion about time-outs completely. Time out is actually best used as a way to teach your son how to control himself. That means showing him that it's actually a GOOD thing to leave the situation and be by himself for a minute. Making it an unpleasant punishment shows him that it's something that stinks. So here's my suggestion- when he is angry, hitting, hurtful in any way, look him in the eye, tell him that you can see he is angry (this helps him identify that crazy feeling he has inside), and sometimes that's all it takes to stop a child in his tracks!) and maybe needs a minute to cool off, and help him find a safe, soothing place to do it in. You know how you feel better and less stressed after a hot bath? It's the same effect you're going for. Bring him to his time out spot (give it a fun name..., blanket, teddy bear, etc.), let him know that he can stay there until he's feeling calmer, and stay with him the first couple of times so he knows that you are there for him in his state of confusion(imagine not really knowing what anger and frustration is- just feeling it intensely for the first time!).
As for the throwing- WHY is he throwing? If he's frustrated, see above. If it's just fun, give him something safe to throw, and tell him "It's not safe to throw that. We can throw scarves." This tells him what he CAN do, not just what he can't. If it's to get a rise out of you, stay calm, and simply say "If you're going to throw that toy, I'll have to put it away until you're ready to be safe with it." then do it. Return the toy in a couple of days and tell him that he can have it if he's safe with it.
The pretending to cry advice is also great! Children are still learning about their bodies- where does mine end and yours begin? They have no idea how hard they can hit or bite, or that it hurts you or others. Crying shows him that it hurts and begins to build empathy- the ability to relate to how someone else is feeling. Have him help you get an ice pack or bandaid to help you feel better as well.
good luck!

Time outs are completely appropriate, but you also need to physically remove him from situations where he is biting, hitting and throwing. If he is throwing his toys, you can start taking them away. I did it with my son. I got a rubbermaid tote, and each time he threw something, I would put it in the bin. He would then go in time out. He could earn the toys back when he went a certain amount of time without throwing things (maybe a day or two). For the biting and hitting, you can tell him that when he hurts other people, it makes them sad and they won't want to be friends with him. Then he goes in time out. After time out, you need to say "you were in time out because you hit Sam, and it made him sad." He should then go and apologize to whoever. Good luck! My son will be 4 soon, and he is the time out king! He is totally impulsive, but after the time out, he comes right out and says, "I'm sorry for hitting Owen mommy, I didn't mean to"

Time outs do work. Just be consistent. There is also a couple books out there that you can get. "No Hitting" and "No Biting" by Karen Katz. They give alternative solutions for kids. For example, the No Hitting book says "I want to hit my baby brother. That's not o-kay, but I can bang on some pots and pans." "I want to write in my sisters book. That's not o-kay, but I can scribble on my pad." (As you see we've read this one alot). My son was about that age when he started biting and hitting alot. We bought the No Hitting book and he knew what it meant so much that all we had to do was pick up, or threaten to pick up the book and he'd stop. He wouldn't even let us read it. Don't let them fool you, they know what their doing. Sometimes they just don't have the words to express themselves. These books give them an alternative way to get out their frustration.

Hi N.!
You've got a lot of good adivce and I just wanted to re-iterate something someone said about too much attention for the wrong things they do. My oldest is almost 4 and it's something that I continuously try to remember to give positive reinforcement MORE than I freak out when he disobeys or is being naughty. It's really a conscious decision for me to do that.

Even though your son is only 15 months, if he's understanding books and intelligent in other areas, I'm sure he'll get the jist of a time out as long as you're consistent. My son never threw toys (as a habit)...I am always very firm about taking care of our things. We always make sure all the pieces are there, etc. Maybe try getting a laundry basket of some kind and when he throws a toy putting it in there (along with a time out) and taking it away for a certain amount of time (say till after nap time or something). Then when you take it out again give a reminder about no throwing, look what nice toys we have, and that sort of thing.

I have two boys (3,8 and 10 mos) and I also feel so blessed! They go through so many phases. It's such hard work, but so much fun at the same time. I'm sure you'll work this one out! Keep up the good work!

not that this is the best solution, but one of my in-laws bit his daughter back (gently) and she never bit him again!

N.,
NEXT TIME HE BITES YOU OR HURTS YOU SHOULD PRETEND TO CRY. THEN MAYBE HE'LL UNDERSTSAND WHY IT IS NOT OKAY TO DO THOSE THINGS....IT HURTS MOMMY.
I ALSO GIVE MY SON TIME OUTS AND HE IS TWO, I DON'T LET HIM GET DOWN UNTIL HE SAYS HE'S SORRY. I MAKE SURE I EXPLAIN TO HIM EXACTLY WHAT HE DID THAT GOT HIM IN THE TIME OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE. I KNOW YOUR SON IS ONLY 15 MONTHS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HIS VOCABULARY IS LIKE BUT IF DOES NOT KNOW THE WORD SORRY YOU SHOULD TEACH HIM THAT AND EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT IT MEANS.
GOOD LUCK
A.

i honestly think time out is over used..ok you say you don't believe in spanking.best method is redirecting..tell him throwing things is for outside like balls...hitting all kids go threw phase just let him know its not nice.some of his behavior may be he is frustrated

Time outs are definitely something to try - we started them at 18 months (when my daughter took a chunk out of my leg). The key will be consistency - whatever you decide will be the consequences for throwing/hitting/biting/whatever, those have to be the consequences EVERY TIME.

I'm with Heidi on this one.