Well-meaning Neighbor....

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but it is hard to believe she was really "well meaning" She took advantage of a situation. Shame on her.

Oh he11 no. What other kind of poor judgment is your well-meaning neighbor going to exercise next?

Instruct your husband to say "no". Or if he wants to be polite about it, say "no, thank you". I don't know anyone, and I mean ANYONE who would want a kid dropped off at their house to "help entertain" their child when they just brought home a newborn baby.

I like your neighbor who took your son to her house for a visit. Now that's a good neighbor. Congratulations on the new addition!

Poor, poor, (and rude) judgment on your neighbor's part.
And I feel badly for your husband... he probably was totally caught off guard (haven't we all been at some point?) and had no idea how to respond..maybe even questioning his own judgment thinking this other mom knew something he didn't.

Ugh.

Sorry. At least now you know to watch for "help" from this neighbor in the future. You and your husband should discuss some ready-made replies to future "offers" from her.

Congratulations on the new baby!

No, you are not "off." That was a completely thoughtless thing for your neighbor to do. What she should have done was invite your child to her home so you could rest. Your hubby needs to learn how to say "no." It will come in real handy raising three kids!

Congrats on the new baby.

The appropriate thing would have been for her to offer to have your daughter over to her house, or even perhaps stay at your house and supervise the two children while you rested (though I'm not as crazy about that idea unless you were OK with it).

I think entertaining guests, even young ones, should be put on hold when you first bring a baby home.

No, you are not off! What your neighbor did was very rude! You just gave birth, sheesh! That took a lot of nerve on her part! Sorry about that. Have a chat with your husband and tell him to say NO the next time this may happen! Congrats on your baby!

I'm sorry, but I'll say it. What an idiot this woman is. Don't ever let it happen again. If she does, have your husband walk the child home and tell her that her child can't stay there. No one has the time to watch her child with a new baby in the house and you getting over childbirth.

Don't be a doormat. Don't ever let her do this again.

This sounds like an issue with your husband. He was there and talking to her and it sounds like your daughter was in HIS care so it was his decision to take on the neighbor kid or not. For future issues, just talk to him so he knows what to say for next time. If you were just resting in the bedroom, it fell on him, not you, so I'm not sure what the big deal was unless your husband took off and you had both kids and the baby. It shouldn't be hard for your husband to say to the neighbor, hey, let me check with my wife and see if its ok to leave your kid here. If it is, great, if not, he should be able to say, this isn't a good time, maybe next time. Good luck.

Probably well meaning, but pretty poor judgement. I wouldn't blame your husband, that sounds like a confusing situation he may not have had the chance to properly evaluate in the moment.

I would have been so annoyed too, but it doesn't do any good to get pissed at anyone. I'll never forget, when I came home with my second baby, my in-laws had been watching our 2.5 y/o at our house. They were also kind enough to "surprise" us with hiring a couple cleaning ladies to get our house spiffed up. VERY kind... however, what I came home to from the hospital, in the sweet moment I was looking forward to introducing my daughter to her new baby sister, were 2 cleaning ladies fussing all over the downstairs of my house, and my FIL and MIL all up in our faces with THEIR video camera trying to capture the moment and orchestrate the meeting of my older daughter and her baby sis. We finally got over that and shuffled the in-laws out, to try to be a family of 4 for the first time, and we had to go hide out upstairs while two strange ladies spent several more hours downstairs cleaning my house. Well meaning... very well-meaning... but pretty much everything annoys a new mother who has just given birth so stuff like that... yeah. I feel you.

Aren't you sweet mama. Next time, I suggest your husband take both the children shopping with him and he can supervise them.

I agree, your husband should have said no. Did you ask him how it all went down?
I would set the ground rules if I were you. Tell your husband, no visitors or if your other children wants to play, he takes them somewhere away from the house like a rec center or park if its warm enough.
He may have told her it was okay, but most people would totally understand if you said no.

You're so kind to call her well meaning!!

yeah, not very sensitive of her. give your husband a rap upside the head!
i'm glad you've got at least one smart neighbor.
congratulations!
:) khairete
S.

maybe your husband asked her if the 4 year old could stay and play with the 2 year old so he didn't have to take it to the store with him? and thought that it would keep her supervised. But the neighbor should have known better. When I had my son my daughter was 7. a neighbor up the street called and said I know you just got home from the hospital with the baby. thought it might help if rachael could play with tara. now I am assuming she means rachael to to go her house. nope she sent her kid to my house while she went shopping. I was pissed.

Did you talk to your husband about this? He could have indeed said no, but he said yes to it, and he was in charge of your daughter at that moment, not you, wasn't he? Did he supervise the girls on their impromptu playdate? If not-- he should have done so and left you to rest. If he expected you to supervise while he went off, that was a poor call. Just talk to him and say that you understand he was blindsided by a sudden request and you know he meant well and didn't want to say no to someone standing right there, but next time -- no unscheduled play dates. Say it with a smile. He's adjusting to all this too.

If dad stayed there and he supervised (you indicate you supervised since you say you had "another child to supervise" but I'm not clear) -- if he watched them there is nothing to complain about, truly.

Is it possible your child asked dad if the other child could stay over?

Maybe he did not know how to say know to all of them at once?

I bet the other girl just coulnt wait to see the new baby. And your daughter couldn't wait to show the baby off.
I, like your husband, have a hard time saying no. Because I want the kids to have every opportniy they can. It's been SO cold cabin fever is rampant.
I don't think your husband or the neighbor used poor judgement. I don't think there's any set time that ppl should rest after a birth (were all different-so it's hard to know). I'm sure she asked-and he thought it would be alright.