Wanting to Have Number 3 but Hubby Can't Make up His Mind

I think almost every woman wants a new baby when their youngest is getting to the preschool age. Most of the mom's I know did, anyway.

I think it would be wise to take some strong introspection to figure out exactly why a third baby is so important to you. If you are still convinced that you want another baby for all the right reasons, start looking at it from your husband's point of view. Another baby means you are going to be outnumbered by your kids. This is a silly thing to most of us women. But to guys, with their naturally strategic ways of thinking, this can be a daubting task, not to be taken lightly. Also, even with you working, you husband is likely to be thinking about his ability to support another baby. Also, he could be thinking about that blissful time in the future when you two will be able to once again enjoy each others company without worrying about the kids. As desperately as my own husband and I want another baby someday, we can't help but think about the fact that, in a few short years, we'll be able to go out for dinner or away for a weekend, without it taking the kind of preparation and forethought that goes into building a small city.lol

Enjoy the family you have. Look for the good points of keeping your family just as it is. I'm sure one way our the other you'll pull through.

By all means, communicate with him some more on this subjsct. I had thought about having a third child about ten years ago. My marriage was not the best, so I decided against it. It was a good decision for me. Had I had a solid marriage I would have loved to have at least one more child.My Grandmother had nine! I have a friend that has 7! She has 4 at home now, and they are all great kids! They are close and it is a joy to see them help each other and just "be there" for one another.

This is a very touch subject, and it varies on family to family. If this was the reaction I was getting from my husband I would think that if he is undecided and going back and forth then he really doesn't want another baby. If he did want one whole heartedly then his answer would be yes immediatly and it would not change from day to day. You don't want him to regret this baby down the road for whatever reason just to satisfy your need to have a baby it could turn out to be a disaster. Again, that is how I would read it.....Good Luck! K. R.

A.,

I just went through the same thing with number two. We are finally trying. I had to convince my husband of how miserable I was because I really wanted a 2nd child and that I didn't want to wait. He was waiting for the "perfect time" once I convinced him that there never would be a good time-- he agreed. I know how hard it is.

I hope it works out for you.

Make sure it's really what you both want before you make up your minds about it. Look at your life and look for the reasons why you REALLY want another baby. My sister pushed her husband for # 2 and it was really only to fill a void that had formed between them, not too long after he was born they split up and he was only waiting around until the baby was born (for her sake) nice guy huh? Not to imply your husband has alterior motives (most don't) but don't rush him, talk to him about why he's going back and forth~