I picked up some prescriptions yesterday, and a boy aged around my eldest daughter's age (13-ish) was walking out of the store behind me with his own purchase. It was unclear at first what it was. My car was parked a bit of a walk away, and he went in the same direction. He walked pretty close behind, and it wasn't a problem until I heard a loud cracking pop. I turned to look and his arm was held up towards my back and he was holding a toy gun. He smirked but then averted his eyes and lowered the toy gun quickly.
I gave him a mom look and raised my eye brows, but by that point I was nearly to my car. When I turned away he did it again. My reaction time landed me at my car door which is where I turned and mommed him again with a look. NOT a mean look... just a Mom Look. He smirked at the Mom Look like he knew his mom would do the same thing. As i got in my car he waved at me.
I have to tell you... I nearly said something. He was being a smartass and I knew it but I figured he was just trying out his new toy. But now I wonder if I should have said something about never, ever pointing a toy gun at a living thing or person. I have all girls, none of whom are interested in weaponry so this has never been an issue and none of my friends' boys engage in this sort of play. My brothers did and my mom had that rule.
What would you have done?
I did NOT know the boy. He was walking home from CVS, no parent in sight (or at least it appeared that way... he would have had to have crossed a busy street in the direction he was going to get to another neighborhood). I can make a guess as to the school he was in based on the age I believe he was but I can't possibly know who he actually is. If I described him, he would just sound like half the other boys his age.
The toy gun made a very loud banging noise, like a cap gun but louder. It was startling and loud. It was also neon orange and green.
Being in the criminal law profession, I would have explained to him that even though it is a play gun, if the person he points it at believes it is real, and becomes afraid, he has committed the crime of brandishing a firearm. In the law, it doesn't matter if the gun is real or not; what matter is if the person it is pointed at believes it is real. Life lesson.
I have boys, I let my boys do shooting play, I would expect my boys to never ever act like that. Their play is shoot the bad guys etc. Not "lets be a sociopath". That kid is heading in a bad direction. I don't think you saying anything to him would have mattered.
I would have, stopped in my place and stopped walking.
Taken out my cell phone camera and pointed it at him. And even took a photo. Not just for show.
Then, I would have let him keep on walking so he is not behind me. Then followed HIM or shadowed him, to his car, and then taken his license plate number etc. (if he was in a car).
I have actually done this, stopped in my steps, when someone was behind me.... and then let them pass, so they are then ahead of me. And then I am walking behind, them. And then, I can note down anything I want about them, and actually tell them, STOP it. NOW.
And hold up my cell phone... to mean I am going to use it. To take photos or call the Police.
There have been murders lately by teens, who are simply bored.
This is just like the kid who begins by pulling off little butterfly wings. Before you know it, there are bodies in his basement.....
Seriously, though, not normal and not OK. It is hard to say what I would have done, because being present make a huge difference. His body language, the exact proximity of everything, etc.....I really cannot put myself there even with the best description by you.
Honestly, just based on what you described, my hands would have been on that "toy" and then around his throat. You act like that around my children and it's on. He is just fortunate he did this to you and not someone more crazy like myself.
At the very least, I would have said something. But again, I wasn't there so it really is hard to know what we all would do "in the moment".
I think you should post a pic of your "mom look". I bet it is a good one!
ETA: I disagree with Suz T that he is not mine to discipline - if you act that way, you become mine! And if my kids ever acted that way, I would want someone to lift them off of the ground by their throat as well! We aren't talking about a 2 year old crying for their favorite cereal here.....
I would have put my hands to my heart and said, "OH! YOU GOT ME!" while throwing my head back.
L.
I would have called the cops. Sorry, but that's not funny or normal. My boys (8 and 6) know not to point a toy gun at anyone. Guns are common in my family and they are familiar with them, but more importantly respect them.
And in Texas? He's lucky a real gun wasn't pointed back at him.
If I had kids with me I would have made sure they were safely in the locked car and then delt with the situation. Yes, in Texas, a toy gun pointed at anyone is grounds for shooting. I would have told him that and called the police. Police have stopped and told my neighbor who's boy was in the backyard with an air soft gun, not to do that (visible from the street). He might have been doing that to see what a real person's reaction to that gun would be. I might still call the police's non emergency number today and report it. The kid probably hangs at that store.
Personally, I think I would have called police. After sitting through an afternoon presentation on school violence, I see that as a possible warning sign.
That's a great way for that kid to get killed and I would have told him that.
I would have called the police
This may be normal teenage behavior, but not all normal teenage boy behavior is acceptable.
I don't know what I would have done, but I think I would have said something to him and not just given him the "mom" look.
ETA: It is my understanding that toy guns always must have a bright orange/red tip. It's illegal for a real gun to have a orange/red tip.
I probably would have thought he was a weenie.
Then I wouldn't give it another second if thought.
Seriously.
And I'm about as anti-gun as you can get.
Wow, what you describe is very freakish, especially with him waving at you at the end. This is clearly not normal for a boy that age. It's not acceptable ever ever ever in public places to point and shoot anything. I have a 14 yr old son with a nice collection of air soft guns BB guns. He would never behave this way as there has been a lot of discussion about appropriate usage ,etc.
I am a slow responder most of the time, as I process others behaviors, especially when I'm busy and preoccupied. But twice he pretended to shoot at you to get a rise? Where was his parent? You say he was a getting into a car? That would have gotten a rise out of me. I could see myself blocking their car and informing the parent right then of what he just pulled. No pun intended.
You know at this point, if you don't know the kid's parents, I would call the school and talk to the guidance counselor. That behavior is very, very weird and creepy and someone who has the authority to talk to him and his parents should know. I have three sons and one is a teenager and that kind of thing has never happened among him and his friends. This raises the hair on my arms. I wouldn't bother talking to the parents directly. For all you know, they could be complete wackos too.
Mom of three boys here, and I agree, for that age it's not normal. And we taught the boys not to point their guns (usually sticks) at anyone (they gave up guns early, instead prefering to make bows and arrows as they got older). Now they play Air Soft, and with water pistols in the summer, but pointing a play gun in a public place at a perfect stranger? Not cool. I don't think there's anything you could have done, though.
I'm a mom of boys and I want to tell you that at THIS age, this is not normal. This kid is a few steps away from doing something really stupid. Nothing you would have said to him would have helped, in my opinion.
If you know who his parents are, you should go to the police and talk to them about it and ask them to talk to the boy's parents. The boy needs an intervention.
He's lucky that wasn't me! I would have gone batshit crazy on him. I HATE guns with a passion! I don't let my kids play with toy guns and would have called the cops if I were you.
1st time, I would have "drama queen'd" it. The Mom Look + a comment.
2nd time, I would have pulled out my phone &/or set off my car alarm. Anything to draw the kid's attention to my being in control. & that phone call....would have been the police.
I probably wouldn't say anything to the kid, but I might have said something loudly to my kids along the lines of, "Creep Alert!"
Is this normal? Probably not. Is it out of the realm of possibility? No, we're talking a 13 year old. They aren't exactly known for always doing the right/smartest things.
The first time he did it, I'd have given him the mom look. In most cases that's all it takes.
The second time, I'd have made it very clear that what he was doing could and would get him into a lot of trouble if he did it to the wrong person. That he was lucky this time you took it for what it was (an ornery kid), but that the next person might not realize that his gun was a toy. He couldn't buy that legally without an adult (well any type of airsoft/paintball gun anyway) and depending on my time constraints I might have waited around for a parent.
I'm not sure what you COULD have done. Who would you have gone to? There was no parent. He was alone. You don't know who he is so you can't really follow up. The store isn't responsible for him.
Is it normal? No. I have a 15 yr old son, and no, approaching a stranger in a parking lot (actually... following a stranger out of the store into the parking lot---stalking a stranger) and then "pretending" to shoot them in the back is NOT normal.
The commenter who said "I would've said, 'That's a good way to end up dead.'" (or something along those lines) is probably what my immediate reaction would have been.
And sadly, it probably is the direction that kid is headed. He's either played far too many shooting video games and is completely desensitized to reality, or he was "practicing" for some future event he is working on in his head, or something... but there is nowhere this can go for him that is good, you know what I mean?
Creepy. I probably wouldn't have know what to do, but S.H.s answer is good.
I would have told him to back off and its not polite to point guns at people and then ask where his mother was. If he said," I don't need supervision, I'm old enough". I would have said, "obviously you do, because you don't know the difference between what is right and what is wrong".
