I Let My Daughter Play with Toy Guns. Is That Weird?

I had a little silver cap gun when I was a kid. I loved the "pow" sound it made and the smell of the caps right after they popped.
Some people just don't like toy weapons. Personally I think they are a great way for kids to express their power without ACTUALLY being aggressive. I think shoot em up video games do the same thing.
Ignore the haters :)

I don't have a daughter, but if I ever do let me put it this way...

I would rather play "indians and cowsboys' vs 'princess tea party'.

No, it's not weird! I loved my toy guns as a little girl. I have a great photo of me dressed in my "cowgirl" costume and holding my toy rifle -complete with a Kool Aid mustache!

My boys play with toy guns and always have. They love them! We have water guns, Nerf guns, cap guns w/o the caps and toy rifles as well as quite a selection of toy swords. They enjoy them and they are no more aggressive or violent than any other child -quite less so in many cases. It's a chance for them to play act and get out aggression, plus it's a golden opportunity to discuss the dangers of real guns and knives.

Ours isn't old enough yet - but I agree with you. Playing with toy guns does not equate to gun violence.

The sideways comments are from the peanut gallery. They are probably also whispering that your daughter should be in a dress, learn to cook and sew and find a good husband to take care of her.

Ain't their kid, ain't their concern.

we just had a great presentation from a child psychologist at my pre-school about this type of thing. Are fake weapons ok for kids to play with? ABSOLUTELY... they are fake. The lesson lies in how you teach your child to respect and use the weapon, so they have a better understanding and respect for the real thing. Death, dying, fighting, and weapon use is all essential in upbringing. NOW if you can teach her how to put fake silver bullets in it, and come and do away with my 5 year old werewolf/vampire I would be grateful. Its not weird at all, I kinda wish my girly girl wanted to play with more masculine toys instead of being princess drama pants all day.

I think the reactions are that your child is playing with weapon toys, not that your daughter is. My son is almost 3. We do not buy him "weapon" toys, but he makes swords out of everything! We read a lot of folklore and fairytales, so there is a lot knights and swords. He will run around and pretend to be a knight. Yes, people give looks at the park. Oh well. We have taught him that he is never to touch anyone with the "sword" or be dangerous with it.

With guns, I don't think I will allow that. My father was a navy seal, so I know plenty about guns. The thing is, I want my son to know how incredibly dangerous they are. I don't want him to ever think something like a gun is a play thing. Yes, I could still communicate that even while playing with toy guns...but I wonder how it really resonates. I know it might sound hypocritical, that I allow him to pretend sticks are swords, but I wouldn't allow him to play with guns. Maybe, it is. Swords are only used as a weapon, if a person uses it that way. Guns can become a weapon on accident. I think in our society people (kids, especially) are desensitized to the brutality of guns, even the accidental brutality.

ETA: By toy guns, I meant the toys that are made to look like guns. We like nerf dart guns and neon squirt guns around her.

Not weird at all. What's weird is not educating children about guns and how dangerous they can be. If you educate the children about them and about all weapons, you take away the curiousity. By not doing that, they will be curious and that's when accidents happen especially if the owner of the weapon was careless in leaving it out unattended. I wouldn't worry about what your MIL or other think. If your daughter is happy, let her be.

The only toy weapons I do not allow are guns or anything else that is projectile type. I don't allow the projectiles for obvious reasons - people get hurt. You know the old saying "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye!" Believe it or not, my daughter's father lost his eye playing with projectiles and my brother-in-law also!

As for the toy guns, unfortunately they are made to look real and that is dangerous. So, unless it's a squirt gun that looks like a squirt gun, then they don't get to play with it.

People always have something negative to insinuate. I get flak for choices all the time,,, not spanking, co sleeping ... Vegetarianism. Someone always has something to say. I see no problem with letting your girl play with toy guns. Maybe one day she will be a cop, or a self defense teacher who knows!

Point is it's your business.

I do believe its more the fact that its the weapons more than your daughter playing with them. My son has always had toy guns and we have always taught him that you don't point them at people's faces, or at the dogs. 5 years later my daughter came along and she is a tomboy thru and thru. She follows her brother everywhere and is into the guns, trucks and mud. She is now 5 years old and not only does she have her own toy guns but she also has her own BB gun and a 22. On nice weekends you can find her, her brother and dad out in the backyard real guns and all shooting. Now of course my husband is behind her while she is shooting but she knows the rules, she knows to stand behind the person who is shooting, to have her earplugs in and to stay in one spot. While she is shooting she knows to look for others before she shoots. In 3 years she will be in the woods along with her dad, brother, uncle and grandfather as well as me. She looks forward to the those times with her dad.
As long as there is a responsible adult around I don't worry. No one in my family really give the goofy looks but I of course get them from some friends and even the neighbors at times. I blow it off as I know that if something comes down when my daughter gets older she will be able to take care of herself without the need of a man by her side!

I played with cap guns as a kid all the time.

No, I don't buy toy weapons for my kids (all boys). I think they're kind of ignorant. There is enough violence in the world - I don't need to perpetuate it with realistic-looking weaponry. Of course they play things like Star Wars and pirates and rescue-type things and will improvise weapons out of other things. I don't put a stop to that (unless they're getting too aggressive) but there is nothing to do with a weapon other than use it to fight, and I can't imagine anything less imaginative than that. At least if they're using a paper-towel tube as a sword or are building "guns" out of tinker toys, that's not *all* that they can do with those things. Luckily the weapon play is not a big part of their play - they're much more likely to be playing mini hockey or practicing skateboard tricks than pretending to sword fight or shoot each other.

have you ever flatout asked your MIL for her opinion? That's the only honest way to answer your question!

I don't think it's fair to assume it's the "weapons" issue....it could be more of a gender-related stereotypical issue: As in "weapons are for boys"....."dolls are for girls". :)

Now for full disclosure: my sons had their own dolls & played Barbies with their cousins. My nieces own their own BB guns, & will probably own real guns as adults. That's life for some families. Teach them right, teach them well....& all is fine. :)

I agree with you, its on the parents to teach right and wrong - kids playing with guns wont produce a killer - she may become a cop! Its like saying little girls with 'baby' dolls will become young mothers! Or Boys that like to 'dress up' will become cross dressers or something stupid like that. There is still that stereotype were girls are supposed to do this and boys are supposed to do that. Things have changed and some people will just have to adapt.

My daughter does not play with toy guns nor does she have one, she likes swords better. But when my nephew is around thats another story. He is very into shooting and bombs and all that stuff. They are both 8 - just 3 months apart. So she usually tells me she has a bow and arrow or a sword and he has the guns and bombs. Its all imaginary no big deal.

Guns are all around us - on TV, in the movies, even in kids toys. Honestly my nephew gets a little out of hand with it. If he is bored he will have 'war' in his head and he will start 'shooting' and 'bombing' out of the blue. It makes me crazy. Dont know what my sister is teaching him but for him its not fun and games, he takes it seriously, he likes to wear 'uniform' type clothes, says hes in the military. Hes not allowed to 'play war' alone in my house. My sister says his father lets him play those M rated shooting games so its a little tough with him. As long as they teach him right and wrong he should be fine right?

Hey Annie Oakley had a gun! LOL

Not weird at all to me.

My mom is okay with my son shooting pretend guns at THINGS but not at people. My husband is fine with pretend "bad guy good guy" play shooting. MIL would say it's normal for a kiddo to play like this.

So yes, my son (almost 4) is holding a dart gun and is dressed as Superman as I type this. He knows the rules regarding dart guns and pretend guns (dart guns are only shot at the glass back door, pretend guns have different rules at Nana's house than they do at our house). As for your GIRL and guns - I don't know what the big deal is. My son has played with another girl with toy guns. I have a picture of them both holding a gun up in the air wearing cowboy hats. Adorable. if your MIL has an issue with it, ask her if she'd rather you FORCE your daughter to play with dolls? Or just say "What's the big deal? Didn't your son play with toy guns as a kid?"

I don't think it's weird. Our 6 you doesn't have any, but she's never asked for them, either.

I dont think serial killers are made by playing with toy guns as a child.
My son has a toy rifle, because his daddy is a hunter. He is not allowed to point it at people.
I was babysitting my friends son, who picked up the toy rifle and pointed it at my son. He was disciplined and it was put away.
My main concern is my child finding a real gun and thinking its a toy. Which in my house would never happen.
Gun safety will always be stressed to my children.

I don’t see why it would be weird, when I was a child I used to play “Cops and thieves” and I used toy guns, it was lots of fun! We also used this gun that used pieces of potatoes or carrots as bullets, it was popular in the 70’s in my country.
Plus, now days girls also become Cops, serve in the military and go into professions that require guns, so I don’t see why they couldn’t play with guns anymore than why a boy couldn’t play with a toy kitchen; my boys loved playing with toy kitchens.
I don’t believe playing with guns equals violence either; the only thing I would do is to make sure that the toy guns looked like toys so there’s no confusion on what a toy gun looks like and she know not to touch anything that looks like a gun in someone else’s home.

I have boys (3 of them!) but we allow toy guns. Thankfully my inlaws and parents understand and don't look down at us for it. I don't think its a problem if you teach them the safe ways to use them.

When I had my first boy I told my self there would be no guns or weapons of any kind well 15 yrs and another boy later Nerf guns are everywhere in my house we must have 40 of them so yes I let them play with guns- with rules- Never NEVER shoot the dog, Never aim at anyone in the face, NEVER shoot any electronics and if at all possible take them outside. If they are playing cops and robbers/spies/soldiers whatever they are up and moving and running and hiding they are not just sitting in front of a game they are using their imagination. Kids have had toy guns forever it is just the way it is.

I don't find it strange. Is it possible that the people making comments feel that no child, regardless of sex, should be playing with toy weapons?

My sister and I played with "weapons" with other neighborhood children whilst growing up and I am now a pacifist. My daughters have water guns that they enjoy and my 4 year old likes to fashion herself into a super hero with various "weapons" at her disposal (which are generally household items that she decides are weapons). I've never had anyone comment negatively...they usually comment about how creative and smart she is.

As long as your children know the difference between pretend play and reality, I don't see a problem with it. To me it is like banning play kitchens because real stoves get hot.

My daughter LOVES her older brother's "shooter".
Nothing wrong with it.

We all played with fake (sometimes real, I learned to shoot a shotgun at 5), and imaginary guns growing up..and magically, none of us are serial killers.

Let her enjoy her interests as a kiddo, that's what childhood is all about!

There is nothing wrong with it. I started shooting guns when I was 3 NO JOKE. And that was not fake ones. My dad was a avid hunter and would sit me on his lap and help me shoot. My first gun was a 22 riffal when I was 9 I think. No my boys don't have 22's yet because there is no where to shoot them and my dad is not around to teach them to use them properly. My 13 year old will learn soon. But my boys have had play guns since they were little and my oldest has airsoft guns and goes to wars with them and everything. But he had been tought the respect for them and yes they are "toys" but they can still hurt someone.

My son is interested in machines of any kind(everything from sewing machines to guns). Starting in kinder, I emphasized to him that talking about guns, bombs, and weapons isn't welcomed at school, because it can scare other kids who might not know he's pretending. It's OK to talk about launching a rocket, bursting a balloon, or catapulting a projectile, but not about inventing a bomb or shooting a gun.

If you care about other people's perceptions, you could tell everyone she is a Ninja Warrior Superhero *Princess*.

No, it is not weird at all...it sounds like your daughter just has an active imagination and loves those "power" type games that many boys love. Those games make children feel strong and in control. My son loves toy guns and pretending with them. His little sister loves to play with his toy guns and toy swords (she is only 2) as well. I don't really worry about it. Neither of them are aggressive with other kids. They both just enjoy pretending they are warriors!!! :)

Our son liked squirt guns, and plastic swords but he didn't play with them for long.
Dad took him to the range and taught him to shoot (along with gun safety) when he was six.
We like target shooting at the range, but my husband doesn't like paint ball and laser tag.
He thinks training kids to point a pseudo weapon at another person and pulling a trigger is not really a great thing to be doing.

My husband and I tried very hard not to let our son play with toy weapons or see any sort of cartoon with shooting in it.

Somehow, by the age of 3, he knew exactly what to do when the inlaws gave him a water gun. Also, by age 3, he knew how to pick up a stick and run around saying "Bang! bang!"

Even though I was raised in a family of hunters, I dont like guns and would prefer that my children not play with toy guns but that is just my preference.

With all that being said, I dont see anything wrong with a five year old (girl or boy) playing with toy guns. I had a lot of fun when I was little, running around in the woods with my cousins, pretending to shoot them. Yes - I did just right that. Its funny now, looking back on it, that we all had toy guns, pocket knives, and even bb guns!

People are going to continue raising eyebrows and making comments, but I think you should just ignore them. I dont spend alot of time making my kids wash their hands all the time. Lets just live with the disdain!

Personally I think any child playing with a weapon (even if it is a toy) is strange... but no I don't think it strange that a girl wants to play what boys play, or a boy wants to play what girls play. They are children, their shouldn't be such strong gender roles yet.

Absolutely not. My daughter (3) loves to play with her big brother (7) so they usually always play what he wants to play so it's usually some type of "rough" play. She has her own nerf gun and has had cap guns in the past. I think if you wouldn't let her do it, that would be more of a problem. Why would you want her to get the message that playing some things is gender specific?

My kids have a weapons locker...
...so yeah, my kids play with toy guns!

My girls do too! They know what real ones do and don't point them at people, ever.

my daughter has a rifle and shes 4. well shes getting it for her bday in a week. i do not have toy guns in our home because of the fact we have real ones and i would hate for her to ever confuse the two. yes our guns are in a safe not laying around.
my daughter helps my husband clean his guns and such. she knows they are not toys and should never be played with. we do not point them at others or shoot animals we dont eat (birds, squirrels, pesky loose dogs/cats). people think my husband and i are crazy for buying a 5 year old a rifle.
i do not think playing with a toy is going to make a murderer out of a child. those issues spawn from a far different place.

my girls play with them