I am a single mother of two. One us 2 and the other is 3 almost 4. I have a great partner that helps out and the father of my children is sometimes there. I work a full time job and get the kids after work and have them all night. I also have them on weekends too. My partner has three 6,11,16 of his own kids from his previous marriage. So I have 5 all together. My ex has been giving us a lot of problems and anymore I feel soooo tired. I come home from work and get the kids and it is all I can do to play with them. I start thinking its almost there bed time. I clean the house after the kids go to bed. I like getting up to a clean house. But I haven't really had the energy to do that either so I have been slacking. My ex is starting to get the kids every other weekend and his ex gets the kids every other weekend (the same weekend so we have a weekend to ourselves) anyways my questions is whats wrong with me is there some way I can feel more energized. I don't want my kids to notice I am tired all the time but I look forward to this weekend because my ex is suppose to get them(if he does) and I feel bad for feeling that way because I love my kids with all my heart(all 5 of them) they are my life. I am looking into doing childcare out of my home but how can I with no energy. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
I really appreciate everyones advice. I am taking vitamins and I also do a 20 minute work out when I get up. I use to get the two youngest(my two) ready and my partner would get the third youngest ready but now he gets them all dressed while I am doing my morning work out(it is actually like yoga so its not really a work out just streches and breathing) and when I get done I get there coats and shoes on, isn't he wonderful. I also am having the older ones do a little more like sort the laundry and I wash or load the dishwasher and unload it. So it has helped a lot and I have only been doing this for a week and I feel so much better. I also really enjoyed my weekend with out kids(I still feel bad saying that)but I got a nice massage from my guy and we just relaxed and watched movies all weekend. It was like a small vacation. So thank you to everyone for your advice.
First thing first, did you eat enough as the time for three meals? Then you need vitamins!
15-20 minutes cat nap helps a great deal as well as a little piece of chocolate! You gonna have a little sugar.
Don't feel guilty Pam! You are working full time and taking care of five children and your home. You've got tons of stuff on your plate and it's OK to be tired. I only have one child and I get tired now so I can only imagine how exhausted I will be after five kids! Plus, it's good to have some time to yourself on those weekends when your X gets the kids and your boyfriend's X gets his kids. I'm also sure that the situation with your X could be adding some stress, which of course, adds to your exhaustion. Just try to prioritize and if there is any way possible, get some exercise in. No matter how busy or tired I get, getting 15-20 minutes of exercise a few days a weeks helps me think clearly and gives me more energy. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help from others when you need it - if you have any relatives near by, a church that you go to, etc. Grace Church in Middleburg Heights has ton of great stuff for single families. They are even having a single family conference to better determine how they can help.
First of all, don't feel guilty it is perfectly normal and natural for you to crave time without the children. My husband and I (try) to give each other a Saturday morning off. We alternate getting up and feeding the kids and the other is off-duty until lunch-time. It doesn't always work out and sometimes we have plans, but we try to do it at least once a month - so don't feel bad about that. A few things that could be affecting you other than just the stress of your situation, have you had your Thyroid levels checked? It's not uncommon for women to develop hypothyroidism after having children. It's very easy to manage, a pill a day to replace the missing hormones, one of the symptoms is exhaustion/tiredness so it's worth a blood test check with your Dr., it could also be mild depression. You didn't mention if you exercise at all, but I recommend working that in a few times a week - I joined a gym recently and love the Yoga class that they offer - it's relaxing, de-stressing, and great for you - I always feel so good afterwords. Hope this helps, and hope you feel better!
H. M
Ya know P., I'm no expert, but it kinda sounds to me like you might have a little depression going on. You obviously have alot on your shoulders and that would give anyone the blues. You really should go to the MD and make sure there isn't anything physically going on. And discuss with him/her your concerns about your fatigue. And don't feel bad about looking forward to having your weekends away from your kids. Your married counterparts get 'time off', even if it is just going to the grocery or getting a shower, why shouldn't you? You've got alot on your shoulders, and you should congratulate yourself for all that you do right and not focus on what you see as your shortcomings! Good luck!
Vitamins, Vitamins, Vitamins. This is the only way I have found to keep up with not changing my schedule. I too work full time, (after staying home for four years), and sometimes can not keep up and am literally exhausted. Working, then cooking, playing and cleaning....it is tiring. I have found that sometimes I have to let certain things go. I might decide to let laundry go for one night so I can really dedicate time with my boyz or to just simply relax. I feel for you and can SO relate. I don't have any real advice, except for vitamins. They really do help me. Once I take them for awhile and then stop, I can really tell a difference. Just know that you are not alone in the mommy world.
Take care of yourself!!!
I have the same problem. I take a multi-vitamin and an iron pill. It seems to help. I prefer to clean in the AM too so I have to make sure I get to bed before 11. I know its hard but I force myself to do it. Ask your doc about a multi-vit. MAke sure it wont interfer with any other meds your taking, if your taking some. Definetly try to get more sleep.
Good luck
S.
Everyone has had great advice! As a single mom too I completely understand. You should go to the doctor and get a physical and just make sure it's not a deeper problem. I get that when I go through an overly stressful period of time. And it's ok to look forward to the kids spend ing the weekend with their dad. It's how I get my "mommy time". With no one around to help that's the time I know I can relax or get things done without interruptions. Even with a great partner in your life sometimes you just need the free time to destress and relax like you can't with a house full of kids. Go to the Doc for a check up and don't feel guilty about looking forward to some time alon ethis weekend. Everyone needs it
I have to congratulate you on a couple of things:
You are a tireless person- there are many of us with only one or two children who can't manage what you are doing right now.
And
You love your kids a lot to be reaching out for help like this.
No, there's nothing wrong with getting overwhelmed, as it appears you are.
You do the kids a disservice by feeling like you have to constantly keep a perfect house and keep them well-entertained. They will understand if you just decide to skip cleaning for a night or skip playing for a night to clean. Kids are pretty flexible that way.
The thing that concerns me is that tiredness can be caused by other sources- an iron deficiency, depression, sleep deprivation, etc... You might want to consult your doctor for a basic check up.
I know I try my hardest to be SuperMom. However, I'm so severely anemic (iron deficiency) that there are days I'm lucky if I can get out of my pajamas.
You are doing a lot of things right now--- but take some time for you, get a checkup, a haircut, a spa day or just take a walk in the park and recharge your batteries... and have fun and don't feel guilty. Everyone needs a bit of a break sometime.
It's okay for your kids to see you tired. It's a normal part of a busy life. What they also need to see is you teaching them how to properly take care of yourself when you become over-extended. Children learn a lot from watching their parents deal with the everyday challenges of life, and they often imitate what mom or dad do. Surely you'd never expect your children to be absolute, perfect angels all the time so why should it be different for you?
You also should not feel guilty for looking forward to having some 'mommy time' when your kids are away with their dad. Use this time to totally recharge your batteries: have a 'date' with your partner, go to a spa and treat yourself to pampering, or have a gossipy lunch with your girlfriends. By taking time to take care of yourself, you become refreshed and rejuvenated, not to mention a better and more rested mother for your kids.
Yes, when we have kids we make the decision to sacrifice many, many luxuries and comforts in our lives in order to give our children all we can. But at the same time, you need to take care of yourself too...not just so you can be a great mommy but you also show your kids how to slow down and take care of themselves as well.
Even Superman took off the cape and had a few fun moments with Lois in the middle of saving the world :)
i havent gone though and read the other responses, so i apologize if youve heard this suggestion already...
it sounds a little like you are going through a lot of stress. do you think you might be starting to experience a little bit of depression? tiredness is one of the main symptoms. maybe if after trying natural remedies like vitamins, excersize and relaxation you still feel this way you could talk to your doctor about what he thinks and consider an anti depressant.
you might also want to see about getting some blood work done. there are many causes of tiredness that are health related such as a thyroid problem. it might even be something you are not even suspecting, like not sleeping enough or having your nights sleep chopped up by constant waking with the kids or just basic tossing and turning.
i hope you find the reason for your tiredness and start to feel better.
I feel for you. I know it's hard but for me the most important thing is to make absolutely certain I eat healthy foods, lots of fruits and veggies, get a decent amount of sleep and take vitamins. There is a C vit called Emergen-C that you take as a fizzy drink and I also make sure I have the B vits, sometimes called Stresstabs. Good Luck!
Hi my name is B. I can relate i had my 2 grandsons living with me last summer 3 & 4 and my niece 15 and my own 2 18 & 14 i know of a great vitamin pack that is gaurenteed to help you wake up earlier and have more energy 90 day money back gaurenteed they also have non chemical cleaners and laundry soap along with a whole list of other things at wholesale price if you would like more info e-mail me or give me a call ###-###-#### good luck
Hi P.!
I agree with Toni. Before you go blaming your tiredness on a long day, go to your doctor. I experienced the same thing right after I had my son two years ago. I was tired ALL the time. It was a battle every morning just to get out of bed. I was exhausted and I blamed it on lack of sleep from being a new, breast-feeding mom. I dealt with it for almost 4 months until I went for my annual at my OB/GYN. That's when he told me I had a mix of hyper- and hypothyroidism. Once I found out what the symptoms were it all started to make sense. He prescribed me medication and I finally started to feel like me again. It was like night and day. Even if you don't have a thyroid problem, a physical never hurt anybody. And he could at least give you some advice on what other options you have to boost your energy after a long day. Hope this helps!
Have you had your thyroid checked lately? Hypothyroidism can cause you to be VERY tired. I would check with your doctor to make sure there is nothing medically wrong.
Hey P.-- have you tried vitamins?-- Walmart carries a good brand made specifically for women called One Source with Ester-C. I think I pay 4 or 5 dollars for a 30 day supply, but I have trouble with certain minerals, so my doctor told me to take only 1 each day so my bottle lasts me 2 months... Might look into it, because you may not be getting enough of the right 'stuff' in your diet...I know I dont, because at work its crackers and candy bars... Good luck, and NO, its not wrong to look forward to some time without the kids... Im in the same kind of situation, his kids go away when they want to see their mom, but our child is here 24 - 7, if I want a weekend off, I have to arrange time with my mom to take her for a night--
Hi P., I am so sorry for you and having so much on your plate. Since some of your children are older, do they help you clean? Personally I think it is important for my children to help me take care of the house and I stay at home. Even my four year old helps, to her it is fun to rinse the dishes in a sink of water and to vaccum the floor. My older children, 7 and 11, do not find it fun and fight to get out of chores, but it is required in my house for them to help. I hope this helps, it sounds like you might need somethings lifted off of your plate. Also, cleaning together can be made into a game or sharing time with the older children. Good luck.
