The Time Has Come!

There are some GREAT kid's books about different kinds of families. Very few do ALL kinds of families, so you can pick and choose... but it's a common theme.

- Divorced
- Widowed / widowered
- 2 moms (step)
- 2 moms (lesbian)
- 3 moms (lesbian and step)
- 2/ 2/ 3 dads
- raised by grandparents
- raised by relatives (aunts/uncles, adult cousins, etc.)
- adopted by (repeat all of the above plus husband+wife)
- 3 generation homes
- multifamily homes
- orphanages
- fostercare
- polygamy
- polyamory
- polyandery

You can also skip the books and just TALK about all the different kinds of families there are out there, or do both :)

I think "you have a pappy instead" is a pretty good answer for now :)

I dont think that any further explanation is needed at this point. Im glad shes got a good male role model in her life.

It seems that she answered her own question for now.

I agree that she is too young for any furthur explaination. Let her keep the Pappy idea for now. Sounds like you are doing a great job of being mommy AND daddy!

I go through the same thing with my daughter (3&1/2). I finally had to seek professionl help for the answers. She sometimes gets sad when she watches movies that have dads and then cries. She met her dad which I regret now but I had to try but of course he messed that up. So now we talk to somebody weekly and they give me tips on what to say...like you do have a daddy but he can't be here but your are lovable and you know how to love and I love you and I'm not going anywhere and then we list the ppl that love her and tell her they are not leaving her. Her questions never stop because she goes to school with kids that have both parents so I have to be ready for any questions and they happen at super random times. Just arm yourself with good answers and get try to be prepared. It's tough but I was told not to answer questions with a sad tone or sad face. Good luck

Those are the hardest questions. My daughter asked me the one day why some of the kids at school don't have mommies or daddies and the one little boy lives with his grandparents. I guess it goes both ways for kids even if they come from a "traditional" family.

I just told her that there are all types of families. Explain to her all the different types. Also, we told our daughter that family doesn't always mean a mommy and daddy but as long as the people that are taking care of you love you that is what family means.

Hope this helps.

I would approach it by saying that there are all different kinds of families.

I went through this with my now almost 5 year old. She has actually never directly asked me "why" she doesn't have a "daddy", because I have always been very careful and proactive in talking about and pointing out how every family is different. Some kids have a mom and dad, some just a mom, some have 2 moms and 2 dads, some only have a grandma or grandpa, etc. Sometimes she will mention that she doesn't have a dad, but only as an observation, while she is listing all the family members that she loves. I know that when she gets older, around 9 or 10, when she understands the biology of it all a little better, I will have to address more complex questions. Until then though, my intention is to make her childhood as magical and worry free as possible. I am taking it as it comes, but I think I will tell her in the future what I feel is the truth- a "dad" is a relationship, not an unfilled position. Some men are ready for that relationship with a child, and some are not. Her biological father was not, and there is no sadness about it, it simply is the way it is. Because he was not able to have that relationship does not mean she does not have other relationships with loving family members that were ready for it. As far as "identity" goes, we have really wonderful relationships with the bio-donors parents and extended family....biological identity goes way further than the parents of a child:)
I don't think you have to explain any further than her developmental ability will tolerate. I think her reasoning about it is just fine:) Good luck!

I think 3 is the age to just discuss that a family is the group of people who love you like crazy--and right now that's mom, pap and grammy.

You could also consider telling her that her father is sick and has to be away.