The Rude Comments

Two months ago I was so totally where you are. I just couldn't brace myself for the comments. I miscarried and realized what a wrong attitude I had. Now I am expecting again and am thrilled with all the great support you have gotten here. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Congrats! I wouldn't tell anyone until you are ready...and everyone has comments about everything...just ignore them and try to change the subject (if they are smart they will get the hint!)

AW congratulations! babies are such a beautiful miracle,we would have another if my husband didnt get fixed when the last was a baby (we have 6),good luck it will be fine!

Children are a great blessing. Be happy, be proud, be confident in your choice. I'm a bit jealous as I had to stop at four due to health reasons. This world needs more loving happy mothers. You go girl!

I think in today's society, many parents can't handle one child, let alone figure out how to handle 6. I'm a parent of 5, 1 is 22 and expecting her 2nd child, the others are 8,7,6 and 4. I hear all the time 'how do you do it?". Since so many can't handle their 1, they are just overwelmed for themself to consider more than that. I think that is where the rude comments come from. My response when asked about being rabbits was always - God gives me what I can handle - and clearly I can handle another one. And I hate to say it - but I pity those who don't get it. They are clueless and ignorant and I recommend you not waiste your time in concern for their reactions. Take care of yourself, your family and your little bundle on the way. And maybe when the time comes - call those people on it. Simply say - don't you think that is a bit rude? After all, it is your life not theirs.

Best to you.

C.,

No rude comments from here...not a one. Just MEGA CONGRATS!!!

IGNORE THE JERKS! Yes, i know that sounds obnoxious. With first hand experience from that rude, inappropriate questions.....its the best thing you can do. Enjoy your pregnancy...enjoy the new life that is growing inside of you and has chosen to be a part of your family.

I had 8 kids out of 7 pregnancies (started with twins). By pregnancy number 3 we would get dirty looks at the mall and people at church were questioning us. With babies 6,7,8 peoeple at churhc (especially older ones that were sure we would have a house full of obnoxious teens in just a few years) would ask "Don't you know what causes that?" My husband finally looked them square in the eye and responded "Yeah....and AIN'T IT FUN?!?!?" Their faces turned red and they shut up.
NOW those people who were freaking out that we'd have a house full of obnoxious teens are amazed and wildly impressed. The neighbors (one of them a judge in abq.), would rather have my kids wokring for him than any other. His wife adores having my girls go and "babysit" her mother.

I have had as many as 5 teens at once. THEY HAVE BEEN GREAT. And, quite frankly, their friends call me mom when they walk in teh door. Their friends woudl rather be at OUR house. My oldest are 21 and my youngest is 10. The only one that is NOT living at home is my daughter who is married.....and she's workign in myhome office every day with her baby.

Those people who complainn that you are having "yet another"....THEY will be the ones whose kids come to your house and call YOU mom.

So people are having problems with you having more kids?????? Sweetheart.... tell them to put a sock in it. You love kids and you look forward to them getting older because you know you will experience even MORE fabulous times together as a result of having more kids. (THEY WHO COMPLAIN WILL MISS OUT...SHUCKS...THEY MIGHT EVEN BE JEALOUS!!!) Be proud of the fact that you've been chosen to bring up this new little creation to make a positive difference in this discriminating and hypocritical (HYPERcritical too) world.

If you need or want to talk or be encouraged.....respond to this or call me. ###-###-####. S.

If people are rude enough to make those kind of comments, just be "politely snide" right back! Just say something like..."we're just trying to repopulate the earth with polite people!"

Good luck with the pregnancy! Be happy about it...who cares what other people think. As long as your family is excited, that's all that matters!!

My husband;s favorite comment to the "can't believe she's pregnant again" comments were...
"Have you seen my wife? Can you blame me for not being able to keep my hands off her?"

I used to use "I guess were are just lucky!" and smile hugely.
Don't hide your pregnancy, enjoy it! Who cares what rude people say...you are abdundantly blessed, you are able to care for them and run a wonderful home. Those who can't handle the stress of a large family...shouldn't. Those who can should have as many as God gives them!

I was able to give birth to 4, but that is no longer an option for me and we are looking to adopt a special needs child very soon!
Congratulations!

Oh Celia, congratulations sweetie! I was in tears when finished reading this...I too am 34 and have been blessed with a beautiful little boy, who is now 2 years old. I wish we could be so lucky! It took us seven years to conceive, and the first time I had a tubal pregnancy which resulted in the loss of one of my tubes. It is NOBODYS business but your own how many children you and your husband want to have!!! Remember that. People are going to say things that may hurt your feelings. Try to let it go in one ear and out the other. Stay stay healthy and happy for your baby. Best of luck!

Sincerely,
C.

Yeah for you!!! How exciting to be expecting #6. I have 5 kiddos, 13,10,7,5& 17months. I would love one more! (okay, I admit it, as many as we could be blessed with) I will just share a little bit of my experience with the whole are you guys rabbits" thing. I don't know if you might happen to be Mormon, and I don't mean to offend if you aren't, but people sometimes think that we are really rotten people who refuse to use birth control. This of course, isn't true. I am the only member in my family and no matter how may times I try to explain that we think children are a blessing and that we happen to really enjoy being parents of so many, my mother thinks i'm wacko and in a cult. Oh well! :) If I get to have another babyI plan to do the same thing that you are doing. I am short! But I think I will get a few laughs and not tell anyone and see who ha the guts to ASK! hahaha! Maybe they'll gossip and call me fat for a while! :) I have had complete strangers ask me when I was going to quit being a drain on resources. Oh! I almost forgot to mention the experience that I had in the hospital emergency room. I was bleeding, and obviously losing the baby. This ER tech person actually said to me that kids were expensive and that my husband wouldn't have to work so much now. I was in a daze any way, but I still couldn't believe what I was hearing! Anyway, I just want to tell ya that i'm proud of you and I hope that you have a good pregnancy. I think that large families are a bit more common around here than some other areas, but you still may run into ignorant, tactless people. You are an american citizen, blessedly free to have a family the way you want to! you go girl! Oh, and want to mention that i'm not normally this loopy sounding. I am up latelatelate trying to get my baby to sleep! When will I learn that nursing him to sleep every night is a mistake!? Ah, but that's another post!!! :) Best of Luck Cecelia!!!! email if you want to sometime.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Just remember how blessed you and your husband are to have so many children. Remember this is your family, be proud. Personally I am jealous=o) I wish I had a wonderful husband to be with every night and a house full of beautiful children. You are a lucky woman and theese people that say negative things are really Irrelevant. I know it is hard, but enjoy your husband, children and remember how lucky you are. Congratulations again!!!

Hi C.,

Congratulations! And like everyone else is saying, just don't let people get to you. My husband says people like that are just jealous. I have a ten year old, a two year old, and a three month old and I always get "Boy, you have your hands full" and that's when I don't have my oldest with me! I never really know what to say. Like some of the other moms said, God only gives you what you can handle. When you get married it is Gods intention for you to be open to having children that's why birth control is frowned upon (in the catholic religion anyway). So just enjoy your new addition!
Marina

Well Congrats, and who cares what everyone thinks, you just have a lot of love to give and your house will be full of it.

Congrats! We have five fabulous children and I wouldn't change it for the world. May God bless and keep you...and may you have a wonderful healthy baby. Take care!

I know you already have lots of comments, but I had to comment. Good for you! Children are such a joy. I know there are lots of people telling you just tell that you are pregnant. I would say find one person that you can trust, who will be excited for you and be able to talk to them and then have fun with your secret. Most people didn't know I was pregnant with my son until I was about 5-6 months along (I'm short and can't hid it that long!). It was so much fun to have that surprise, it also made my pregnancy go a lot faster! We did tell my parents very soon, so that was really nice to have someone to talk to (I know, we have our hubbies to talk to, but it is nice to have a girl to talk to)
Try to enjoy. You sound like a great mom. I am from a family of just 2 and now that we are older, I wish there were more of us, so do my parents.

Tell everyone and if they say something rude respond in kind. Are you rabits....Yes we are. That should keep them quiet. It's no one elses business. Don't let everyone else control your happiness about this blessing. Enjoy every minute. You're right it's too stressful. My sister says, Don't let them rent space in your head for free. I wish I could be pregnant again. Good for you. Take care of yourself. Hang in there.

You have TONS of responses!! I was almost crying when I read your post. I'm so happy for your guys!!! It only matters what you and your husband think.. If you have friends that are like OMG and everything what kind of friends are those?? They should feel special for being apart of the mircale of life. Children are wonderful and a blessing. Congrats to you and your family. Don't worry about other people and thier 2 cents.

God bless,
N. m

I am from a large family and my mom and dad got the same thing. My sister is on her fifth and she gets the same thing. I think people need to learn to mind their own business. As long as you and your husband are happy and wanting more, I wouldn't worry about what everyone else has to say. Children are a blessing from God and you are Blessed! Tell your husband to tell the guys at work that you guys just know how to have fun. :0)

Hi C.,
I am envious that you get to have such a large family. I would have loved to have had that also. I am blessed with one 6 month old baby girl named Olivia that I love so much and would have loved for her to have a ton of siblings however I started late and she will be lucky if she gets one sibling. I think if you have the means to love and care for your children financially you are fine to have as many children as you and your husband want. You will all have such a great time growing together as a family and you are young enough to have a few more if you would like. I know it is easier said than done but who cares what other people think as long as you can manage your family and it doesn't overwhelm you. My own personal rule of thumb.... I can't have more than I can afford to put through college so I am maxing out at two if we are blessed with another one. Good luck and stay in good spirits.

C.-
Be proud, be strong and to the heck with everyone else. We, as women- were given the ability to give life to another human being and no one should be mocking it- and if they do- you just smile, take a deep breath and say - WE ARE THRILLED TO BE ADDING TO OUR FAMILY! =-)
Good luck and best wishes

Just wanted to say congrats on the new kiddo!! And hurray for big families! I think they're just splended.

Have you read "Cheaper By the Dozen"? Try their catchphrase when getting comments from strangers: "Well, you know that they come cheaper by the dozen!"

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

I know how you feel. I heard that with every single pregnancy. I never let it stop me from sharing my good news because it was a happy time for me. Just let it roll off your back and do what makes you happy. Do not let others dictate your life by their careless comments. It is your life to live as you choose. Babies are a blessing and a sweet wonderful gift. Do not let anyone take this happy time away from you. Why should you have to hide it? Hope it all works out well for you! and CONGRATS!!!!!

Unfortunately you can't keep people from being rude...I'm not sure why people think it's their business to comment on other people's family...However, you are right you don't want to be stressed about this for you, your unborn baby and the rest of your family. We used to live next to a family who had 12 kids and I have to admit that while I never said anything rude I thought the thoughts at first. Then I got to know them and realized what wonderful parents they were, how much they enjoyed their kids, and how great their kids were and my thought was with all the bad that is being brought into the world it's great to see people putting goodness, caring, love, and joy back into it as well. Enjoy this time, don't hide it...let people know that you area excited for this little life (I hope you are anyway) to come into the world. Congratulations to your family!:)

Congratulations! I think big families are great - try to ignore what other people say. I know it's hard. I have 3 girls and if I hear one more person say "so are you going to try for a boy?" I may go crazy. We have 3 beautiful girls and if I had a 4th I would be overjoyed if it was another wonderful girl. People don't always think about what they say so try to let it roll off your back and enjoy your pregnancy!

Hello C.,
Congratulations!! I think it is wonderful that you have been blessed with your children. God created each one of us and what a privilege to care for the children He blesses us with and to raise them for Him!!
I remember when I got pregnant with my second daughter my mother-in-law was the first person we told. She said, "well, it's good for her (meaning my older daughter) but I don't know about for you!" I was devastated! She hurt my feelings so bad and never even realized it. Then the following day I told my mom and she said, "I'm so happy! Anytime there is a baby around it's like having an angel with you! They are angels sent from heaven." I felt so much better and I believe it is so true. Congratulations again and please try not to let what other people say get to you. You are truly blessed!!

Are you kidding me? Do you know how fortunate you are? If you can afford them go for it. My daughter, also 34, has had 4 miscarriages and can't adopt. WE would all love to have just one. If you decide you can't handle another one, please contact me, we will take it.
So, hold your head high and tell everyone, and like someone else earlier said just tell those busy bodies how blessed you are.

Good for you! Just ignore any negative comments, you can have your family any way you want :) Of course, you may think I am crazy as I have five children all under 8 years old (I just administered 3 practice spelling tests in about 15 minutes to my first, second, and third grader). I've got to say that I rarely get comments, probably because my oldest three are so close in age and size that nobody could imagine they are actually siblings. Then again, maybe I can't hear the rude comments over the chaos that usually swirls around us when we are in public. So chin up C.! Your kids get to have a wonderful experience with a close and caring family, they are very lucky!

Congratulations! Be happy and be proud, and don't let anyone else's ignorant comments stress you out. I had similar worries when my husband and I decided to start our family VERY late in life. I am about to be 50, and my husband is 52, and we are the proud and happy parents of three girls, one 4, and 18 month old twins. I will never allow anyone's negative opinion of my very carefully considered decision affect my happiness. You shouldn't either!

C.,
You have received so many encouraging messages, and I want to add my praise to you for wanting to keep this little one healthy and relieve some of your own stress. Children are a blessing and we are thankful for the two we've been blessed with that are only 15 months apart. We got the comments as well, but I think that most people don't realize how the words that they are saying actually sound when they come out.

I did keep both preganacies quiet for a few months as well for various reasons, but I did have a close friend that I confided in and I knew that she would keep my secrets. We are close couples, so my husband confided in her husband so that they would be able to celebrate with us in private as we reached each preganancy milestone. That helped relieve the stress of keeping the secret.

I wouldn't try and hide it - I think that's going to breed (no pun intended!) resentment even more.
Instead I'd just smile and say "Yep, don't drink the water!" and walk away!

I recently found out I'm pregnant! it's our first one. But I must tell you Mom's like you that have a big family, I call "Power Mom's" YOU are a Power Mom! don't be ashamed that you are having another child. Be proud that the Lord is trusting you with these precious souls and keep being the best you can be. There's four kids in my family and I tell my mom everyday she's incredible for raising all of us! :)

Oooh, how exciting it must be. If only we had the financial abiility (oh and the guarantee of a boy, my hubby wants no more girls, and we only have 2!!!) I would be prego right now!

I think you are awesome and your home must be filled with so much fun and excitement. I bet you all have some neat traditions too.

I'm jelous, I want one!!! Good luck with your pregnancy and as long as you and your hubby are in agreeance and you have the means, keep on having those babies!

One more thing, shout it to the world, this is exciting!!!

First Congratulations on your baby. Children are Always a blessing and I love big families. My husband and I have three children ages 3, 2, and 10 mos. My first two are 11 mos. apart to the day. So I get that all the time. People say "Gosh couldn't you control yourselves." I tell them no we couldn't and smile. They get a little uncomfortable and I think maybe a little jealous. ;) So I say GOOD FOR YOU!!! Enjoy your beautiful family. I wish all of you the best!!!

You are my hero!!! Congrats on your next wonderful blessing! I would have liked to have a large family but I can barley handle my two.

why do you worry about what other people have to say. they dont pay your bills. i come form a family with six siblings, 3 of each and the reason is that my mom was a single child and 2 she wanted matching pairs. if she wouldnt have had that last boy maybe there woudl have been more of us.and my mos answer to all those nosy people, "at least I know myhusbands and my equipment still works unlike some people that lose it after their first child". that is jsut as rude as the question. save your stress for the big things the important things, if you must stress.

I would tell whoever you want to tell that you know would not tease you so much. After all, it is up to you and your husband how many children you want, not anyone else. You have to do what is right for you. If someone else doesn't think it is right, that is their problem. You are a very loving person to be able to have so many. I say, have as many as you want and tell everyone that thinks it is wrong to mind their own business. Don't let anyone else take the joy out of your joyous pregnancy and enjoy your children.

Take care a don't let others stress you out like this. Have a great pregnancy and enjoy your big family :-)

D.

Congratulations on #6! My husband & I had the opposite "problem" - it took us 7 years to finally carry out a pregnancy & deliver a beautiful baby girl. When I miscarried a few years ago, my father-in-law encouraged me by admitting that he & my mother-in-law never had to go through the tramatic loss of a child - my husband is the oldest of 7 children. I am from a family with 6 children and hope to be able to provide at least 1 or 2 siblings for my daughter. Big families are a real blessing and you can feel thankful that God has blessed you so richly! I hope no one gives you grief for being able to provide a loving home to your family! God bless you!

CONGRATS!! Good for you! You'll never be lonely!! :) I agree with all the other girls - don't listen to the buttheads! How many children you have isn't their problem and they don't have to deal with it, so I think having something to say to get them to knock it off is a good thing. They aren't in charge of how many kids you have, so don't let them bother you! Who cares what they think? If they couldn't handle a big family, that just shows that they aren't as gifted as you are in that department. "You're a better mom (or dad) than I am" is what's really being said. And I agree that your family and children shouldn't be left out of the loop. This is a joyful thing - and that's something that is in short supply in our world, so just love it and let the naysayers who don't have your abilities continue living with their choices while you enjoy yours.

Hi C.,

I think it's wonderful to have a nice big family. as long as you can take care of your own who cares what other insensitive people think. I totally get your frustration, my sister is pregnant with her 6th, and has full time custody of 3 step children, so, when the baby is due, there will be nine children in the house.
I get some insensitive remarks being a single mom of twins, but I have recently decided to take everything as a complement...lol When people say, "better you than me." I say, "ya, because I love it." I have found that most of the time people are just looking to complain about life with someone, so if you just side step the whole game by being positive, they will go away quick.
If someone said something about bunnies to me?...lol I'd blow them away with a comment, "ya can you imagine how much fun we have every night!!" And laugh like you mean it!! As for the, "Oh my God's!" "Oh no!" or "Are you kidding?" I'd just say, "am I offending you by sharing this info with you? This baby was planned!" Give them a nasty look and walk away, even if it wasn't "planned" your having it and it's now part of the plan:) Enjoy your new baby!! Every single child in this world is truly a blessing and don't let any one spoil such a beautiful event. Once you set those around you straight, it'll be easy to re-direct strangers. People rarely say mean things about my babies to me anymore:)

C.

I agree with these girls. Congratulations! I only have one and she is six weeks so I can't imagine more than one right now but I came from a large family and most of my best childhood memories are of things I did with my brothers and sisters. Be proud and positive about your pregnancy and it will go well. If people have something negative to say, they are just jealous. Best of luck to you! -S

Dear C.,

When I got breast cancer, people said the craziest things to me. LOL!

People just don't know what to say...so, me with my bald head, figured out, if I simply say, "That hurt my feelings...what I really need to hear you say is..." and then tell 'em what would feel REALLY good to hear.

Crazy but true fact...we have to teach people how to speak to us in an appropriate way.

Love to You Dear, J.

PS~And Congratulations!!!!!!!!

Well I say the heck with those people who make rude comments.
What a bleesing to have another child. It sounds like you are in a stable marriage so I think it is great to share your love with a bunch of kids. Keep your head up and God Bless You.
J. O.

C.: If you want to have 20 kids go for it. That is between your husband and you.
I think we all worry too much what others think. Having a large family is an individual choice
may God bless you and your family. Congratulations! Every child is a blessing from God whether it is the first or the 20th, etc. Remember to take care of yourself along the way so you will feel better when spending time with the kids. I made the mistake of rarely having me time (away from the kids) when they were younger.

Take care, and just be yourself. Don't worry about what others think. I know it's easy to say and not to do. I'm 46, and it has taken me awhile to get to that point. After awhile you realize they are not in your shoes so they would never understand. And eventually you don't expect them to. Even someone with your same amount of kids may not totally understand all that you deal with. Every situation is unique. So rejoice in the fact that you are healthy enough to have a large family. Be good to yourself along the way!
Take care,
K.

Congratulations, C.! I am a mom of five great kiddos (3 girls (13,11,7) and 2 boys(11 & 5) also :) )My response to negative people has been that the Lord only gives this many precious gifts to those that can handle them. Yeah, we heard all the "Don't you know how that happens?" "Don't you guys have a tv?" (which was kind of funny since we DON'T have a tv) and "Oh, I'm so sorry". I say congratulations to you!

I come from a family of 5 s. All sisters have several children: 10, 8, 7 and 6... I only have 3. So.. in my case, the comments went the other way..."why don't you have more?" "aren't you going to try for a ?".... etc.

I have high respect for you if you have a large family. It is quite a committment and you should be commended. I think it would be great if you could just rejoice in your blessing, and not worry about what others think. Just come up with a few cute remarks and send them flying the other way. They'll get the point :)

Congratulations. Children are a gift from God. I think it is wonderful. I come from a family of five. We would have had six by my mom had a miscarriage.

Anyway, the five of us are all adults (I am 45 and the "baby"). We are all very close and I would do anything for any member of my family. My mom is awesome. she is 81 and feisty as ever and I thank God everyday for my wonderful mom and my brothers and sisters. I know I always have someone there for me.

I am sure your kids are bonded now but it will be even stronger when they are older and it is such a great feeling to have that connection with someone. You are doing a great thing for yourselves and your kids.

I hope people have enough kindness to be happy for you and not judge you. If they make comments just respond that your kids are gifts and blessings and "the more the merrier".

Congrats again.

L.

Good For you!
I am 1 of 7 kids and i love it!!!

I had my sixth child at age 27 and all my kids are close as parents themselves. I wouldn't have it any other way. You go, girl!

Hi,
I get so annoyed with people who think it's anybody else's business how many kids someone has. More power to you! I wish I could think of a snappy comeback, but maybe a good stare would accomplish the goal. We had 4 kids and I wish we could have had more, but we got a late start. I wouldn't trade any of my kids for anything.
Thanks,
E.

Yeah, I love these ones:
Are you guys Catholic?
Are you guys Mormon?
So do you guys homeschool?

Like something about having lots of children has to do with any of those things. When I found out we were expecting our sixth (she's 10 days old today) I cried and cried because I feared all of the comments and judgment, and I felt guilty for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on, like I'd done something wrong and I was going to get in trouble.

I'm also 34 but I apparently looked like it was my first or something, but when people would ask if it's my first and I'd say, no, sixth, and they would look at me like they didn't understand that number and I would have to draw it in the air with my finger and count to six for them until they slowly understood that I really said sixth. Then came the faces and the shock and awe and the comments...

People can be so socially impaired, even family (especially family sometimes) and it kinda makes you feel like you owe the world some explanation or apology. We have used birth control with EVERY one, none of them were planned, some of them we even used more than one forms of birth control, my husband has even had a vasectomy and I was also on the pill with the last one (my third baby on the pill), so it's not like we're just trying to populate the planet or something.

Then after she was born everybody was asking about our birth control plans, like, yeah my husband is getting ANOTHER vasectomy and I'll remove my uterus if that will ease everybody's concern, but with all we've done to prevent pregnancy I don't even think that will help.

Now that she's born and I am in love with her and so grateful she's here, I feel SO guilty about the way I reacted when I first found out. I do that every time, though, and am so glad once they get here that it adds to the guilt I feel. What's up with that? Why is there all this pressure in this culture to have a small family, or if you have more than three you become one of "those" people?

Sorry, I didn't mean to vent, I just know how you feel and the best I can say is to do your best to remember how you feel about your five now, how you love them all and wouldn't trade them now that they're here and you can't imagine your life without any one of them and it's the same way for your new baby. Also remember that people tend to be rude and shamelessly stupid, especially strangers in public, and you don't owe anybody any explanation at all.

You have been blessed with a blessing, even though it doesn't always feel that way, and one day soon you won't be able to imagine not having all of them, even the new baby, and people with still be in shock for some unknown reason that you have crossed the invisible child limit for our culture, and life goes on. I congratulate you and totally understand what you are going through and sincerely wish you the best!

Congrats on your newest addition. Your are lucky to be blessed so many times. I would love to have had a big family like yours, but my husband stopped me at two.

As far as the comments, just have a few witty remarks to respond back. Most people are taken aback when you you respond jokingly. And usually (hopefully) they realize how rude the comment was.

We all support you here. I guarantee that any one of us would be happy to let you vent your frustrations.

Take care of yourself and your baby.

I have one that really bothers me.... you must have your hands full..... I am a proud mom of triplets, and I reply only when I juggle. It adds humor to those people who have have a sense of humor and shuts up the people that dont. Congrats to you and your family, and try (even though I know it is hard) to just let the negative comments slide off your back.

Congratulations!!! I believe every child is a gift and a miracle. Just think how much love this child will receive from all those brothers and sisters.

Hey C.,

I had 3 kids, married a man with 3 kids and adopted a little one to make a total of 7, and dreaming of number 8. Congratulations on your newest addition!!! That is wonderful!

Yes, you are right, people say the stupidest things. I figure that means they are bored and need something to occupy their little minds. If it is a total stranger, they have no clue where all my munchkins came from. I either give them a dirty look or I tell them I like kids more than MOST people and walk away. I have also said some really rude things back, as if it's any of their business.

I have actually had strangers ask how much my grocery bill is. Gee, why, you planning on pitching in? We need about 3.5 gallons of milk each day, do you deliver too?

People you know are harder to deal with. For some stupid reason they think they are entitled to a good answer. Well, I promise you that no matter how obligated you feel to answer them, you don't owe them an explination either. If you are emotionally in the position to raise 10 or 12 kids, and you are financially and physically capable of providing good care for all the munchkins, go for it.

Any one that I care about I typically say, "Well, I figure we can afford 3 or 4 more, just not sure where I am going to stop... we'll see. But if you're ever bored, feel free to come by and play, there is always something going on at our place". That typically shuts them up.

Hello! WOW!!!! What people need to be saying to you is that you are amazing!! It takes a strong person to raise children and I think that if you have the guts to raise any at all you should enjoy how ever many your heart allows. Go for it woman and know that I will always respectfully think of you as SUPERMOM!

I am a 28 year old mother of one awesome boy who is 10 months old.

You will probably be sick of the brady bunch comments soon, esp. if it's another boy. 8~)

Anyone with anything negative to say, is most likely, just jealous. Ignore them, or come up with your own personal tag line to respond to the negative ones, something sweet but to say hey, I'm happy and feel blessed quit with the negative vibes pease.

Good luck, I have two and it's a lot.

Wahoo!! Congrats!!!

We have a friend (several actually) that have 8+ kids. Two families both had a girl then 6 boys then one of them got ahead of the other and had a girl. Just recently I got an email (we've moved away from those friends) and she sent out an email excitedly announcing that they were having another little one. Their oldest is about going-off-to-college age I think, and their youngest (before this baby) was my son's age (who is now 6)and I dont remember if they had any after that last one and this one. But hey, I'm excited for them and I think that by telling us all, it saves the "uhh yeah, well yes I am pregnant" or "yes I did have another" later when people find out. By telling them (positively and happily!) you take control and there's none of that "is she?!? what are they thinking?!" comments behind your back (well less anyway. Some people just *have* to be rude. You're adding to the number of people in this world that are bred with manners, aren't you?! (hey,make this into a neat retort!))

wahoo! yippee! The upside is that your current youngest is not so much older that it makes it seem like an "accident" (I feel sorry for those kids labeled as such!)

Just say oh yes! we are! and we can't wait to meet this little one!

God Bless you and your family along with the other comments ignore them all GoD has blessed you with another child, we had two boys and seriously all I wanted was two, but we have three, only because my hubby promised me a girl and even though "HE" wasn't sure, I was and that was 7 years ago and we have the most beautiful girl, I had my tubes tied soon after I was 33 years old and done as far as I was concerned. But 5 to 7 days a week she says dinner prayer and thanks God for her brothers 2 and her sister, which she does not have, she says she is out there looking for us. Do not be embarassed what others will say, we are headed for adoption and our family thinks we are nuts with three. Soon to be a family of 4 God willing. Children are gift from God it is our responsibility to raise them with the values God taught us and for them to move on and be given the same gift we are given. Life is short and so is mother hood. Live it Love it Enjoy it!!

I think as long as you can provide for your kids your entitled to have as many as you like. When I see women with lots of kids I often wonder how they handle it. I have a hard time with my one:) I wouldn't care what anyone thinks. They are your kids and your caring for them so no one elses opinion really matters. Be proud of your large family.

I found one of THE best support boards while i was pregnant - the boards go by people who share your due date month: http://www.pregnancyweekly.com I found a really great group of people there and really needed that support from people who knew exactly where i was at every step of the way (especially near the end when we were all huge and dying for it to happen!) of course there was a huge temporary drop in attendance after we all had our babies, lol! Congratulations!!!

I know what you mean, I am pregnant with my third and my other two boys are exactly two years apart so I have a three year old and a one year old. This little boy is due in January so he will be 18 months younger than my second boy. I was afraid to tell anyone this time because last time I got the really you are pregnant already...I wanted them to be two years apart, this one happened a little sooner than I thought because last time it took a few months for my body to readjust after being on the pill for awhile. That and we live in AZ so I did not want to be pregnant in the summer again and miserable... So a January baby is perfect...
But this time almost everyone was very positive except I did get a few cynical comments like just 6 more for a baseball team or so many more for a volleyball team...I was trying to brush them off...But I found out from my hubby that people at work (mind you he is coming up on his one year anniversary next week so it is not like these people are long time friends or anything) have been asking him if he is getting a vasectomy...I was like wow, are you kidding me, people are asking you that. Isn't that something private. He just tells them he has not given it any thought. They asked me at the first appt with my ob if I wanted to have my tubes tied and I flat out said nope. My husband knew I did not want to. I do not want anything permanent because our finances could become better and I really wanted four kids even though hubby only wanted two. I will convince him in a few years, I wanted a girl so bad and was super bummed when it was another boy so I would like to maybe try again in a few years. I decided I am going on mirena after this one. But I have all kinds of people asking my hubby now if I am getting my tubes tied or what we are doing after this one and are like you aren't having more right..I say it is none of their business...and change the subject. Being pregnant is a happy and joyous event and it is nobody's business, I know what you meant about telling people...I did the same thing and waited as long as we could and was talking to women on here about it. It's not like you have 18 kids or something, you have 5...Back when my parents were growing up families were that big. My husband and I personally are not from big families but our parents are. My Dad has three siblings, my husbands Mom has four and his Dad has 5 siblings. It was not abnormal to see families that big and they were struggling just as much as families today. So I say screw em...none of their business how many kids you want, if you are not like having babies from like 6 different Dads then who cares. Good luck and if you want to chat anytime about being pregnant I always love to type as you can tell. LOL...Oh and congrats on the newest addition!!!! Kudos for being so brave to have that many. I would keep popping them out if I could, I love newborns and being pregnant, makes for a great sex life in the 2nd trimester any way. Hopefully I will get a fourth in a couple of years and then I can get my daughter lol...

Congrats! You go girl! While God blessed me with giving birth to two children, I have 4 more that hang their hats at my house. People often look at me strangely and ask if they are all mine. My reply is, "Of course they are! Who else is going to keep me entertained all day?" Some people have even pushed and said they don't really look related to which I reply, "some are on loan (foster kids) and some just like me better (niece and nephew with nowhere to go). People can be so rude. Ignore them. I don't know about your house, but every day is an adventure around mine. Especially since all of them are in school now, the numbers increase exponentially after school and on weekends. I love to bore people with the mundane details of how cute one or more of them were doing something whenever they ask me how I cope. My kids will usually pop up and say, "She's powered by Durango Joes." (A local coffee shop). Deflect the questions and comments with humor. And when you think you are out of humor, ask your kids to help you respond. They can be every entertaining in their reposonses. And when all else fails smile and just walk away. Remember life is a journey and not a destination. Keep coming back when you need moral support. We'll be right here waiting.....

Congratulations. Don't ever hide something because someone else is being ugly. You are excited about your baby, BE PROUD! Why do these people care so much? It's not like you 15 and on you 3rd kid. Some people are just negative. When I told my family, yes, my own family I was pregnant with my second, they all rolled there eyes and made weird comments. I was 26 years old, married, have my own house, me and my husband own a very successful business-----why were they rolling their eyes!!!?????? We were in the perfect position to have more children. So that just goes to show you, does it really matter what other people think?
Don't let anyone rain on your parade. You just hold your composure and be happy. Don't let other people get to you and change you who are. Be your best always.
Big families are wonderful and your children are blessed to have so many siblings. I came from a family of 6 and my dad had 3 more children after us so there are 9 total. I LOVE having so many siblings.
May god bless you and your family.

dont let anyones words upset you. its your guys rights to have as many kiddos as you want. if they dont like it they dont have to be around you guys. just keep your head up high and take care of your family and you.

Don't you dare hold in your good news! Tell everyone with excitement and joy about your new baby to be! If they say rude comments, tell them they're rude and that you're elated to have another member to your family! It's really none of their business and shame on them if they're rude to you! Congratulations and enjoy this pregnancy!

I know the feeling. I only have two, and on my second one people were making the same comments. I wanted to be the one telling people, "Are you kidding me?!" I don't know why people can't let other people make decisions about their own families. Good for you for having the family you want despite others' discouragement! I envy your Christmases as your children grown up, move out and come back home, and all the grandchildren you will have. Congratulations!!

Oh, PLEASE enjoy this time - flaunt it, embrace it, LOVE it! I'm so happy for you and your family!! It's so strange to me that large families used to be the "norm" but now people are criticized for it???
And, I just can't stop laughing at some of the responses here to the comments made to mothers that are expanding their families! "repopulate the earth with polite people" and "6 methods of birth control that aren't failproof" - these make me wish I could still have kids so I could use these lines! Too funny!!! Oh, and I was pregnant with another woman in the office at the same time, so "Don't drink the water" was a very popular one! :-)

In the last 3 years our family has learned the most important thing of all - as the years go by, as the bonds get stronger, and most importantly when there is a very serious issue with a member of the family, FAMILY is so very important to have around you. There is no substitute for being surrounded by your family when you are in need.

I wish you all the best, and sincerely hope you can hold your head high and be proud of your large, loving family!

Congratulations! If you are happy about being pregnant it's no one's business to say anything - and if they do they are insensitive and rude so just take it with a grain of salt. Start now with relaxation practices and deep breathing - eat right (lots of raw, unprocessed foods and juices - stay away from fast and junk food) and take care of yourself - get plenty of rest and drink LOTS of pure water - and spend time with the ones who don't judge you or make you feel uncomfortable. If you are interested I can suggest some excellent all-natural (whole food) vitamin and mineral supplements. Be happy and don't worry and baby will thrive.

I would try to turn the comments around. Like, "Yeah, can you believe how blessed we are?" I am very happy for you and your large family. Perhaps saying as other women (couples) cannot even have a baby without a big to do, or such. Remember it is your family and you guy determine what is best for your family. Have a wonderful pregnancy.

Don't let what others say bother you and enjoy your children. My husband hears that at work because we have four girls. He just doesn't listen to them. Congrats!!! I think it is awesome that you have the desire for more children.

God bless you!
K.

Congratulations!!!! I am thrilled!!! I have 4 and I heard it all! You'd think I was 100 years old and pregnant with #50. When I was pregnant with the first one people made comments that we shouldn't have kids because we were going to bible school to be missionaries. (As if missionaries can't have kids...) then with number two people gave me a hard time because my oldest wasn't even a year yet. The three and four came and people were just shocked that I'd have the audacity to have more than two...especially since I had a boy and girl the first two times...I reversed a tubal ligation (then had the two younger ones) and have hyperemesis and alloimmune thrombocytopenia (Platelet incompatability during pregnancy~ low platets for baby) and have to have treatments and C-sections. I got an earful with each pregnancy. But my children now 14, 13, 7 and 5 are very polite, well behaved, funny, wonderful children and those same people tell me what great children we have. I just recently had a miscarriage and we waited to tell anyone just because I wasn't in the mood to hear how we shouldn't have anymore anyway. Thankfully, people were sympathetic otherwise I would have to let them have it....LOL I understand completely because the only time those comments REALLY bother me is in the first 3 months when I'm so sick. After that I just say "That joke stopped being funny 14 years ago..." LOL Especially the one "They know what causes that!" UGH!

Hi C.
Don't take them as rude comments, view tham as statemetns of admiration. So many don't have the time patience, presence and gifted soul it takes to raise one child let alone to bring 6 into the world. Cherish your pregnancy and your child, you are an amzing mom. Just tell them the brady bunch was your favorite show!!! Enjoy your family and congrats!!!
Hugs and love

Wow, your going to have six kids. Thats great. I cant believe people actually said oh my God no...some people have no clue. My first comment has always been a positive remark..then "are you excited?" Some moms are, some arent, and if you are then everybody should support that. After all whos life is it thats being affected here. Since you have five other kids, think of how helpfull they will be. Im sure they are going to love a new additon too. I have three and have thought about having one more, but I think three is enought for us. I have a friend who has eight. She is an amazing mom. My grandma had 7 and my great aunt had 12. They did a great job raising their familys and those kids always had someone. I would have loved to have more siblings, I only had one and were sorta close. I have seen larger familys and know its just more to love. Have a wonderful pregnancy, and congratulations to your new addition.

The problem is that people don't understand: the first 3 are the hardest! I wouldn't hide it. At 2 months (or when you see the heartbeat, or when the tests are confirmed that all is good)Let your relatives and close friends know. Since there is nothing they can do about it i believe they will try their best to make things a little easier on you. Unfortunately the really tiring time is during the first trimester, as you need to sleep and a really good support system to be able to get the rest you need. It is not fair to make your children keep your secret too and it is good (at the older girls' ages) to stay honest with them. So, take it easy, smile when the comments come, they'll see you glow. Your husband is a big boy, he will probably smile inside, or give a couple of "hops" to respond in good humor to comments. Let others do for you.

I wanted 7 but was only blessed with one. If you can provide for them and nurture them then its nobody elses business how many children you have. Congrats!!!!

Congratulations C. & family! I think there is nothing wrong with having a big family, God Bless you!
Tell your husband that (when someone says) "you know that can be fixed (like a vasectomy)?" Then he needs to say, "why it seems to work perfectly!" My best frined said this to his coworkers & it took them back. As far as the rabbit question and the other pokes you're going to have for a big family just smile at them and say thanks, they wont know what to say. We have 3, ages 4,2 & 9 months. My best friend has #4 on the way & they're kids are currently 4,3,1 & due in Nov. When they are asked if they planned all their kids they always say, Yes. Though they may not have planned them God did, & we're put here to act out Gods plans, though we have free will, he knows what we'll choose, & would never give us more than He knows we can handle. God Bless you & good luck on your pregnancy. Most people dont understand how you could want more after you have one of each sex-little do they know each pregnancy & each child is different & each birth is different & it's all wonderful (ok not the pain part). So please just sit back and enjoy this pregnancy as much as you can, I was getting the same comments as you are now with #3 & a lot of it was comming from my Mother in law, she only had 1. Remember it's your life, not theirs & they have no say in how many beautiful children you bring into this world. So put a smile on your face & surprise people at Christmas time, when you sign your Christmas cards sign your name & your hubby & kids names, and then after your 2 year old put a comma and a ? and see what kind of response you get. Congratulations again & enjoy your children!

Just ask them if they are jealous that your husband is so attracted to you that he gets those rabbit like instincts. Tell everyone you are going to keep trying until you get triplets.
Be proud of the attention! Turn everyne comment into a joke or something positive....it will help.