The Matriarch of the Family! (Another Silly Question)

Matriarchs (and their effects and actions)have changed dramatically over history.

In large families it was not uncommon for younger children to be 'raised' by older siblings and not even know (for sure) that the lady over there WAS their mother! No exactly ideal--but matriarch nonetheless.

Maybe in the 50's "matriarchs" were home with a plate of cookies ready for after school snacking, but today? Not so much.

Matriarchs today are often the ones working FT, picking up the dry cleaning with dinner in the crock pot, don't you think?

fantastic question! Thanks....

I am the matriarch for my family. For my own family.....AND my sons' friends. Thru the years, I've been known as the mean mom, the insane mom, & the one who repeatedly shocks those friends. I LOVE that these kids now invite me to their weddings & bring their own kids to see me. That is my reward for all of their B.S. !!

For my extended family, I am also the matriarch. I am the only one who carries the Family Reunion from year to year. I am the only one who spends time archiving our past. I am the only one who rejoices in our history. For others, it's a passing interest, a fleeting moment of respect. For me, those who came before....help create our future. This does not mean that I live in the past.....it means that I recognize that history repeats itself.....& we need to embrace what our ancestors have learned. It amazes me that so frequently we cycle back to our roots.....my Great-Great Gpa & his sons owned a barge line on the Mississippi River & now my Mom lives on the river! How cool is that? & as for daily life, I'm the contact person for both sides of my family...

For my husband's family, my MIL was the matriarch....with me as the facilitator. In other words, she was the Crown Princess....& I did all of the behind-the-scenes work. I was totally cool with this....I full-heartedly supported this up to the day she died. She was physically unable to do much....so I set it all up, opened up my house, & stepped back & let her live in the Glory she deserved. & when I say "to the day she died", I mean it: on her last day, we planned her upcoming BD party & she -once again- thanked me for all of my work on her behalf. Words that I will carry to my grave. (the shame of it was....she had 6 daughters & ended up spending most holidays with us....even Mothers Day. Their loss, our prize!) Sadly, the ILs are like a country without a king since her death....we've gathered once in 2 years. So Sad.

Anyway, thanks for the great ? !!

Interesting question.

My husband has a very large family, scattered thoughout the world. Both his parents are from Brasil. We went to visit my FIL's family. It was very unusual in that were a 3 matriachs.
1-the oldest aunt who's health is failing and does not live at the estate, but is the only child who spent her entire childhood living at the estate
2- the aunt who lives at the estate full-time and runs it, she's also the highest educated
3-the youngest aunt who lives only a few miles from the estate, but lives at the estate most of the time and who will eventually take over most of the day to day activites.

At dinner there is a special seating order with the elders, sitting towards the head of the table, then hubby would follow because he was the only male, and the children were always at the end. Whenever you entered a household you were expected to properly greet the elders, and properly say goodbye upon leaving. So I guess the point of this is, the matriach is alive and well in other cultures.

Um......according to my SIL, it's me.

My mom passed away when I was 16 and my Granny and Aunts live across the country, so I guess I just learned to take matters into my own hands and that's how I'm raising my family. Never thought twice about it until SIL mentioned it. We don't really get together as a family unless I'm kind of putting it together. Heck, even my MIL calls me and asks advice about recipes and such. My own brother and sister look to me for advice and they are both older than I am. If my BIL's kid gets hurt, they bring him to me to evaluate his injuries. I'm friendly with my kids, but they know when I mean business.

I would have to say I am. My MIL is in her 90s but we were never close since her son my hubby was in the military and we moved around. On my mother's side there was an older cousin who tried to take on the role but no one listened to her as she was a dictator and that work well.

Yes, I remember the days of the grandma being home with the plate of cookies or fruit to eat after school. She was the first one everyone ran to to get a big hug from. The women of today are different that the women of yesteryear in that the new woman has many more roles to play all at the same time as we live in a two income society.

I am friends now with my children who are adults. As they were growing up I was their mother not a friend. I bandaged up scraps, went to hospitals for broken bones and cuts that needed stitching, spent time in hospital for child with allergies and kept on going.

You do what you have to do to make it right. Parent first friend later.

The other S.