Thanks for Youre Help..

Sorry if this is harsh but really. I read both your posts and honestly both you and your boyfriend seem incredibly selfish. Sorry he is not "an awesome father" if he does not take care of and love his daughter! If he thinks she isn't his and has no interest in seeing her why not take a test? You seem to be complaining and talking about yourself and how you and your son are getting the short end of things but what about the little girl whose own Dad won't claim her? I'd watch my back if I were you, the gem you're with sounds just like the type to find another girl, make another baby and start ingnoring you and your son. Good luck!

I'm no psychiatrist, but I think the reason boyfriend's mom favors the girl is because the father does not. Grandma gives the girl the attention that her son does not. Make sense?

And the ex is a part of the family, whether you like it or not. They've known her for at least 3 years - probably more. Just like you are a part of the family whether Grandma likes it or not. All you can do is control how you react, you cannot control other people. Be pleasant if you want to become a part of his family.

And I have to disagree with you on saying your boyfriend is a good father. If he was, he'd make more of an effort with his little girl.

It sounds like his mother is trying to make up for the shortcomings of her son by showing an extra interest in her granddaughter at the expense of your son.

On my hubby's side (3 boys) there are 4 grandkids that live near by, and 3 that live out of state. Believe me there IS a pecking order. It doesn't go by age, it goes by paternity, and as it happens, the boy gc top the list above the girl gcs. The boy at the top of the attention chain has a sister who is at the bottom of the attention chain.

When the sister (at the bottom of the chain) was first born, and the MIL and I were out shopping, she was busy shopping for the gson, while I was making suggestions about stuff for the gdaughter.

Is is right? No. I too have the 'everyone should be equal' mentality. When they come to my house, I treat everyone the same. Like they're my kids. However, when the in-laws are around its a different story.

The fact is that several decisions and a lot of growing up needs to happen in all of the parents in the story. Your son is a half-sibling to the daughter. You need to have a good relationship with the daughter. One where you treat her like a daughter equal with your son. Your boyfriend needs to treat both his kids equal and arrange to spend time with his daughter like he does his son. He may have a stronger bond with your son because he's a boy, but that's not an excuse. His blood runs through both of them. The Grandparents need to treat both kids the same. As the kids get older, and notice the differences themselves (this is happening in our family), there will be some bitterness between them. Its better if that is stopped now.

Good luck, you are not alone in this frustration.
M.

I'm sorry I don't see how your boyfriend is a great father. He doesn't seems to give the love that this little girl deserve. If he think this is not his daughter then go get a paternity test and found out instead of assuming that this is not his daughter. Your boyfriend may be a good father to your son but not to this little girl.