Temper Tantrums - Mesa,AZ

My 3 year old started this at 2. So in public, you warn her once, if she is on the floor, you pick her up, tell her this is bad behavoir and you are taking her to the car. Leave behind the food, get up from where ever you are & leave, leave that shopping cart (if it is full of food, push it to a person that works there, apoligize for leaving it but you have a daughter that is miss behaving she has to go to the car) and do it. No one will think any less of you. All mama's have had days like that & we just feel sorry for you and understand. I did this in the middle of lunch with some friends, at the grocery store, the library and even at a zoo outing. She misbehaved & we left. If I wasn't driving I took her outside, found a place to sit & let held on to her tight as she threw the fit. She still has metldowns but if I say, stop misbehaving or we will leave... she does. She knows we will & will not go back. Good luck.

I too am going through this stage. I find that when out in public the best thing to do is try to speak to them and see what it is they are trying to communicate to you. Ask her if she would like a drink or something to eat. If she still acts up, ignore her. Although it is imbarrasing in public to have your child throwing a fit, you must stick to your guns. If you give in to her tantrums, she will then know that if she puts up enough fuss, you will give in to her. Children at this age are usually frustrated because they aren't able to properly communicate what they need. Try to be sensitive to this and help her learn to communicate to you what she needs. If she is unable to speak words, teach her signs. My son pats his hand on his mouth when he wants a drink. Eventhough it isn't the actual sign for "drink" he is still able to commmunicate to me that he needs a drink. That is what is important.

Hang in there, stick to your guns!

Oh yeah I know the tantrum thing by heart. My 13 month old daughter Addesyn had perfected it, except Addesyn doesn't slam herself on the floor. She starts her tantrum then she GENTLY places her body on the floor and precedes to kick and scream. Yeah the best that we can do also is ignore. I can't think of any other option. She just gets worse if we try to distract. I haven't had a total public blowout though. I think our girls are just VERY mature for their age...

Good Luck!

Hi A.,
Emilee is definitely testing you to see how far she can go to get what she wants. Just try to redirect her attention and may be remind her of something good she has done that day, and praise her for it. Talk calmly to her. Sounds like you're looking for more of an answer to the tantrums in public. Well, when my son starts in, of course we turn completely red of embarrassment, but we talk calmly to him, and keep talking to him, trying to redirect his attention and point out what he had done great that day. If you're going to the grocery store, try leaving your daughter with Daddy while you go. Or invite Daddy to come along, so if she does get out of hand, Daddy can take her to the car while you finish the shopping. That's what I did, and still do. My husband goes with me to the grocery store all the time. I read on another response about trying to 'bribe' your child to help calm her down. NEVER start doing that. Children will never learn to behave that way. They will only do it just to get a prize.
You're more than welcome to email me if you want to. I'm looking for new friends myself. I've found a few on this website already. :-) ____@____.com G.

Ignoring the tempers works for a time, but over time some children will be louder and their tempers will last longer. This can be especially embarrassing in public! Children seem to know when a situation arises where they can get the upper hand. At home bring her to the bathroom or a quiet room and raise your voice slightly and sternly saying "no!" When in public bring her to a bathroom and sternly saying "no!" Wait until the performance is over and then you can resume your shopping. Over a short period your child will learn you are the boss and listen.
Hope this helps.

It might not be early terrible 2s. Maybe she has an ear infection or anxiety attack.

My son hit terrible 2s at 18 months. It could be early sign for her. My friend has two sons and she said let them do it and then turn around for a second. It works. She's just testing you early. Mine use to lie down in the sand and he hates it in his toes. I use to be so embarrassed and now he's in his triple the trouble stage..when he has a temper tantrum he skids down on his knees on the ground all the time and then comes crying to me that he skinned his knees. I should go out and buy him knee pads if they come in his size.

Hey A.,

I had the same problem with my son, who is now 15months old and I didn't know what to do but my husband suggested that everytime he throws himself on the floor, he would put him in timeout, so he started doing that and he would talk to him and tell him why he was putting him in his crib, then let him scream for a few minutes and it took about 2weeks and he completely stopped the tantrums. I was skeptical coz i thought he was too young to understand but my doctor told me that from about 12months children can understand the basics of right and wrong and discipline.

Also, I noticed you were looking for mommy friends. i am too, because just like you, most of my friends are single and it seems like our interests are totally different.

A little about me.........I'm 27yrs old, married for 3yrs and have a 15month son. I live in laveen.

Well unfortunately A., my daughter Eliana who is now 3 did that as well. They are testing to see what is going to happen and if they can get away with things outside the home too. I used to just turn around and walk away from her. take about 5 steps and keep your back turned till they quit screaming. it is really hard, but that worked with her. Also.. as bad as it may be. I bribe her. even at a year old they understand. If i am good at the store today mommy will get me a ball. The first place we go is to pick out her ball, and then the entire ride around wal-mart if she starts to fuss i remind her that if she wants to keep the ball she has to be good and not scream or fuss, and if she does start fussing or screaming, she ends up losing the ball, sometimes right there on the shelf, sometimes we walk all the way back and she has to get out of the cart and put it back. it makes a pretty big impact. I dont always do that, sometimes she will just behave now. as far as other places in public... i will try and redirect her attention. even if it requires me playing pat acake or her favorite right now ring around the rosie. it keeps her from screaming. She is also old enough now that when we get home if she had been bad while we were out she stands in timeout for one minute for every year she is old... times however many times she acted up. Hope this helps a little.

My son is 13 months old as well and he has this horrid scream that sounds like an angry cat. When he acts out at home, I walk him to his room and walk away because, you're right, ignoring it seems to help. In public (like when he throws a tantrum in the grocery store or something) I still just ignore it. We've walked through the store numerous times with both of my kids screaming at the top of their lungs until they realize that I'm not going to pay any attention to it. The terrible twos usually start around this age and last until they are four or so. But don't worry, it's not as bad as you probably think. Good luck!

Just remember, the "terrible 2's" are not only an age but an entire phase. It can start as early as a few months, like mine has; and can go all the way up past the teens...(the husbands)
Just remember to FOLLOW THROUGH, EVERY TIME, no matter where you are. Kids are very smart. Once they find that special button they will usse it. If your even the smallest bit week they will walk all over you. Even when you're in public. Show the child that you are the parent and they need to listen and behave for their own good...

Whenever my son throws a fit when we are out in public, I just take him outside (so we don't bug everyone around us) and ignore him until he calms down. Then we go back in and finish our business. I used to have had to do this 3 or 4 times before he was ready to calm down but it's gotten better over time. Whatever you do, do not leave your daughter at home every time you need to go somewhere. She will not learn how to behave in public if she is never in public. If you have gone somewhere just for her (like at the park or the zoo) just go home if she throws a fit and explain to her why you are leaving. The most important thing to do is decide in advance how you are going to deal with and then do the same exact thing every single time. When your daughter knows exactly what you will do when she throws a fit, she won't need to try it anymore. Just keep in mind that it might take her a while to learn :)

I recommend a book that I read when my son was about your daughter's age. It is "Making the Terrible Twos Terrific" by John Rosemond. It really helped me understand why my son does what he does and how I need to deal with it.

Good luck!

That's all she wants is attention. Is it possible that you can leave her at home with your husband while you shop? Maybe shop on the weekends when he's not working. Show your little girl that you will not take her with you to the store because she misbehaves and she will get the message. I wish you the best.