Stupid Anxiety! Help Me Get Excited!

have fun! Thats close to M.! Have a drink and relax! It used to be hard for M. until my ex and I seperated and he gets her 2 nghts a week and I had to get used to it. Still get bummed, but not nervous

Aaaw, so sweeeet!

Now GROW UP ALREADY AND GO HAVE A FREAKIN' BLAST WITH YOUR HUSBAND!!!

:)

R.:

SSSSSMMMMMMAACCCCKK!!! :)

STOP!! Take a deep breath. let it out slowly...now...another one...good. let it out slowly...

Roman will be fine! The reason he doesn't adapt well to change is because you are always around him!! (yay mama!!!) Can I tell you that I'm proud of you for not calling him a baby?!?!?! YOU GO!! This is a HUGE step for you!!

Now....all will be well....when the anxiety hits- deep breath. let it out slowly. Call me...i'll talk you down! :)

YES!! You will survive and so will the kids!!

Your son will never learn to handle change if you don't give him the opportunity to do so. Life IS change, better he learn that as a kid. Sounds like you have confidence in your parents and daughters, so go and have a GREAT time!

It's always a little hard.
But time to go be a WIFE, not a MOM!
Go And Have fun, R. D.!

hey girlie, you want something to be anxious about? how about kids who are so acclimated to all-mom-all-the-time that THEY can't function? how about parents who leave this world sad that they never got to experience to bliss of one-on-one time with their precious grandkids? how about a handsome husband who feels lost and resentful that his relationship with his adored wife never gets priority?
i know these are all extreme examples. but this could be a flag!
i've got a dear friend who is getting ready to take one kid on a dream trip to england. instead of blissing about it, she's making herself grapeape over all the potential things that could go wrong with the other 3 while she's gone (1 pre-teen and 2 teens) even though they'll be with their attentive dad and have friends, back-ups and sleepovers lined up for the entirety of her trip. i'm so sad that she isn't going to wallow in the bliss and fun of the trip because she can't get out of her own head.
DON'T BE THAT GIRL, R.!
go have a hot dirty weekend with the ol' man and love every second of it!
:D
khairete
S.

It is always hard, but just like you're talking yourself into this little spazzy episode, you can talk yourself right back out of it. Mind over matter, chick!

I just found out yesterday that my kids are also going to my parents house for the weekend so hubs & I can go down to Ocean City, MD for my birthday/our anniversary. I'm excited only, no spazzing here! ;)

My mama (who, if she were still living, would be 107 in the spring) would have called you a worrywort.

Make the list... check it twice... make sure Grandma and Grandpa have your cell phone number and that you have theirs... make sure you give them written permission to take your children to the emergency room IF the worst happens... let your son know what a big boy he is to get to (not have to) stay and Grandma and Grandpa's for the weekend... tell the kids you'll call them *once* while you're gone to say hello... and trust your parents! They did a good job on you; they'll do well with your children, and they have your phone number.

Then take a deep breath and go have fun with your husband. It's only a couple of days! It will be an adventure for you in more ways than one. If your imagination starts overtaking your common sense, laugh at it. Don't play the what-iffy game. Most of the things we all worry about happening don't happen anyway. Maybe the worst thing that will happen is that your son will say, "I don't want to go home - I want to stay at Grandpa's!"

Do you realize that you are worrying way too much? Your son will be fine and he is going to be with family that loves him. Parents make much more of this then kids do.
Go and have fun, do your best to calm yourself now so that your anxiety doesn't rub off on your son. Get him excited about staying with his grandparents. I am sure the kids will get to do things they are not allowed do at home. That is the best part about staying with Grandma & Grandpa.

You KNOW they will be *just fine* so snap out of it. You've just listed a bunch of reasons why they'll be just fine - just listen to yourself. If you TRULY thought there'd be a problem, you'd never have planned this trip in the first place. Your initial instinct was "they'll be fine with g'ma and g'pa for one night" so go with that. I'm sure you've arranged for a way to contact you, right? And you can certainly call them whenever you want. So snap out of it, trust the grands to take as good care of them as you would yourself, and have a fabulous time in Philly with your husband!

Cheezits, R., the kids will be fine even if you do forget something.

Have fun and Happy Birthday!

Have fun doll! let us know how your God mother is doing...

Feel better? - a glass of wine to relax the nerves

Me too? - my son's only been away a couple times. But no it's not too hard for me. I am also a list-maker. I make my list and know my parents will be fine with him. My husband is more of a wreck than I am. It makes me sleep better to know that they're planning on staying at home hanging out. If they're going to go to the zoo and go here and there I get nervous b/c of car accident possibilities.

YES you will survive. The kids will have a blast. KNOW that they'll have a blast and you will too! Just remind yourself that you only get one-on-one time with your honey once in a blue moon. ENJOY it now while you have the chance! It'll be work work work when it's over.

Btw - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The only time it was hard for me when it was my youngest son. He is a high need (possibly OCD inherited from his dad) child, who has a speech issue and a really hard time with change. He had terrible separation anxiety. He was an extremely picky eater because his speech issue caused him to have issues with food texture. We knew what he needed and the things that worked for him and I always worried that someone else wouldn't and that they would get frustrated. I used to tell my husband, "If anybody's gonna shake a baby, it's gonna be this one right here." I was more worried about the caregivers ability to be patient than my son's ability to cope.

Things to consider:

1. Your older children are experts with your son, too. They will be a huge and tremendous help to Grandma and Grandpa. They will automatically step in when it "isn't being done right." Just let grandma and grandpa know they might be taking cues from the older kids.

2. Because he will be there with his siblings he will adjust a thousand times better. He will have them there as his buffer of familiarity. Just have the girls do the "buddy system" at first where one of them is with him all the time until he is comfortable to venture out on his own.

3. It is GOOD for HIM that you do this. He needs to see that change can happen and he can be OK. He needs to see that you go away and always come back. He needs a chance to bond without you there as the buffer. He needs to see that other people can and are willing to meet his needs.

4. It is GOOD for YOU that you do this. When you have a high need child it can be overwhelming. The chores of life tend to take over and we become worker bees. It is good for you to occasionally reconnect yourself to the person you are and the couple you are outside of your kids.

5. PHILLY IS AWESOME!! City Center is so much fun! There are clubs, and pubs, comedy and shopping, boutiques and stores and more food and varieties of food than you can shake a stick at! Then there are all the historic landmarks (if you're into that which we are). You will have a ball!!

What makes me feel better is stepping back and giving myself a reality check. Calling every few hours helps, but don't talk to the kids except maybe at night before bed. Make all of your lists! Get there early and go through them all with them so you feel you have communicated effectively.

Have fun!!

Hi, R.:
Your anxiety is normal. If you didn't have it, then that will be a problem.
Just go through your steps to get there. It's all a brand new experience for
everyone. This is how children learn to let go and cope with things in their lives.
Just keep planning and doing the next thing.
When you return, the family will be better for it.
Good luck.
Have fun.
D.

PRACTICE.

It's not just kids that get separation anxiety. When I'm leaving my son regularly I'm also getting comfortable with the idea. When I haven't done it for awhile, I'm an absolute mess. I didn't leave my son with anyone (except nurses) for 9 months this past year. When I FINALLY started leaving him with people again, the first few times were a wash. I'd spend the entire hour, 4 hours, evening FRETTING. I do this. I know I do this. I've done it before!!! Of course, he's clueless that as soon as I'm out of sight I'm a mess :) My son has spent the night at my mums once a month for 8 years. But after 9 months of no sleepovers... I was just as much of a mess as I was the first time. After 9mo of no sports, classes, etc... his first day back I was like a new kindergarten mom!!! Had to seriously laugh at myself.

It takes 2 or 3 goes for me to begin to relax. Whether this was preschool, K, outside classes, playdates, etc.

If I'm leaving for a week or two (rare).. it's the solid first couple of days!!! LOL... and by the end I "don't want to come back" (not really, I've just finally relaxed and gotten into the groove).

The ONLY thing that has helped me is practice. The more often I do it, the more I trust the world isn't going to come to an end.

I know what you are going through! We left our kids (7 and not yet 2) with their grandparents for 6 days this summer. I was a nervous wreck about the almost 2 year old who only wants mama. I thought their is no way her grandma is going to get her to sleep...and it's just going to be a cry fest every nightI was so afraid I was traumatizing her for life. BUT it turns out she did great! She went to bed just fine (after th first night) and she really bonded - especially with grandpa which made his heart melt! Your youngest will do so much better than you think. You have to just relax and enjoy yourself.

I deal with it by just ACCEPTING it.
My kids are 18, 16 and 12 and I STILL get anxious any time we're traveling without them, even though my sister comes here and does a GREAT job.
Our ten day trip to Paris last year just about put me over the edge!
But the thing is, once I'm gone, I'm golden. I'm relaxed. It's all good and I don't worry at all. So I just accept the fact that I'm going to be a nervous wreck for several days before the trip, and I keep reminding myself how great and happy I'll feel once I'm gone :)