Nervous About Traveling Without Kids

Hi, I have this same worrying tendencies as you. What seems to help me out come time for a get-away is set up two separate babysitters...One to watch the oldest and one to watch the youngest. It takes a load off of my shoulders knowing that they're getting their own attention (perhaps even more than I can give them). The kids also enjoy the time away from each other as well! Let me know how it goes!

Shaena

We went to Mexico when our daughter was 11 months. Not only was I 5 hours away by air, but I as in another country! But I knew we had left her in good hands, that she recognized and loved her babysitter, and that me and my hubby needed the couple time without the distraction of kids.

It's important that you leave a notarized medical authorization form for the caregivers, just in case something happens and they need to go to the ER. (I probably set you off worrying with that comment... Sorry. Don't worry, nothing will happen!) Message me and we can trade email addresses if you want a copy the forms I use. (At a previous job, I signed up for the $10 a month legal benefits; so I downloaded those forms...)

You'll also want to have a notarized document that you and your husband sign which says who you appoint as guardian for the children in the event both of your and your husband's "untimely death".

By the way, the first trip away was emotionally hard... By the 3rd trip, you'll be counting down to when you get on the plane! (Have fun!)

We had to travel out of state for several days when our twin boys were only four months old. Here is what we learned: Unless your parents have health issues, they will be fine with 2 kids - after all, they've done this before. Make sure you two sign a medical power of attorney so they can make decisions in the (extremely unlikely) event something happens. Also give them a copy of the kids' birth certificates to go along with the power of attorney (they should have this anyway if they are your designated emergency contacts). Grant yourself a few hours to be miserable without your little ones, then just relax and enjoy yourselves!

I felt the same way when I first left my oldest when he was 10 months old (now he is 3 1/2) and when I left both my children at 15 months and 3 years old. They both did fine and so did my parents. There were 2 sitters (my dad and mom) and I am sure my kids didn't have the best diet or the most regular schedule but they didn't cry and were happy when I talked to them on the phone. Funny, I also had irrational fears about what would happen to them if my husband and I were in a car crash or airplane crash and they lost us both in one swoop. Silly, but I know from friends I'm not the only one. Ways to ease your mind in general:

-Due a test run if you can (afternoon alone with grandparents while you and hubby see a movie)
-Make sure the youngest has been to the grandparents house overnight with you somewhat recently if that is where they are staying
-Leave detailed lists of their daily schedules, typical meals, things that help calm them when upset, etc...
-Leave info on where you can be reached at anytime of the day
-Make out a will if you haven't yet (there are free templates available online and forthe most part a court will uphold your wishes if you just have two signatures - don't worry about a lawyer. Though you can also let all your family know who would watch after your children if something happened to you so noone "fights" over them later).

Now these are just things to make YOU feel better. YOur kids will be fine, in fact they will be better because a few days alone with your hubby will make you a better, happier mommy when you come back.

Hi C.-

I'm in the same boat as you! My husband and I will be going away for our 10th anniversary in March and will be leaving our 3 children with my father and stepmother. My father was a typical dad of our generation--worked a lot and wasn't really hands on with the kids, and my step mother never had children!!! Yes, I'm a little worried :-)

Anyway, the only advice I have for you is to make sure you keep it as simple for your parents as possible as far as preparing meals for the girls and letting them know where everything is kept in the house. If your children have a daily routine make sure you write it down so that your parents can follow it as much as possible. Are you away from the kids for short periods of time regularly or will being away from you be something new for them? If you and your husband don't get out even for short periods of time regularly, you might want to start now so that the separation anxiety is lessened for your girls before the big trip. Does your 3 year old have a neighborhood friend that you could schedule a playdate or two with so that your parents get a little bit of a break during their stay?

Other than that, just try to relax and have fun on your trip. I'm sure they will all be just fine!!

K.

i say just go and have fun and don't even think about what "might" happen while you are gone! if you trust your parents enough to leave your kids with them, then you must know that they will take the best care of them they know how, and they love your kids enough that they will do anything and everything to keep them safe and happy. they might not do everything the same as you, or even exactly how you would LIKE them to care for your kids, but does it really matter HOW they are cared for as long as they are happy and healthy? sure, they might go to bed later than they should...they might have more cookies than you would allow...they might wear their clothes instead of pajamas to bed...they might eat dirt...but the important thing is that you and your hubby have an amazing opportunity to get away together and renew your relationship, and your kids get the opportunity to bond with their grandparents! i wish every day that my hubby and i could live close to his or my parents, but due to the army, we are here in texas and they are in california. but every chance we get to go home for a visit or have our families come visit us, we take any opportunity we can get to leave our kids with their grandparents! and i can honestly say i barely even think about my kids while i'm away! i disagree with a lot of things my mom and my MIL do with my kids, but it's all little stuff. i know for a fact they would never put my kids in danger and that's what matters most.
hope this helps to ease your worries!

If you children have been around your parents and they know them well. They'll be fine. Enjoy your time alone. Call to check on how they are doing, but I'm pretty sure they will have fun with their grandparents. They need to take some toys from their house to make them feel more at home. You can even take their own pillow and some books. That's what we did with our little one when she was about two years old. My mom was super nervous that she would cry, but she had so much fun at grandma's that she didn't even want to come home with us. That was weird for me at first thought, but at the same time, I knew she had a good time too!

Best Wishes.

S..
www.ohsobella.com

I am 70 and my husband is 86, last January our granddaughter needed to go to some job training for a week. She approached us and ask if we thought we could come to Austin for that week and watch our great-grandchildren, ages 9 and 20 months old. We did not hesitate, we made the trip to Austin, she showed me the directions to the school and day care and then to the grocery store. We had a very good time with them and I think they enjoyed being with great-grandpa and grandma. Just go and have fun. Don't worry about them, didn't they raise you and you turned out well?

Marie

Hi, C.!

I've been in your shoes, and my parents have been in your parents' shoes. It's tough, but it's necessary for your marriage, and the grandparents get a chance to bond with your kids more. I cried myself to sleep the first night of our cruise, worrying about my two-year-old being without me for the first time during the night. But we made it, and we're all better for it!

Have fun,
S.
SAHM of 7 (2-14)

My husband mentioned vacationing and our son is now 9 months too. The thought scared me. But I know our son would be fine. Its me that would be worried. Be ready to come back if needed. Its good for the entire family to have time apart like this. And that is so much easier said than done. You could also leave a list of people you trust that can give your parents a break. After all they did rais you and perhaps some siblings too. Have fun on your trip and God bless.

C.,
The best advice I, or anyone else can give you is to pray for their safety, and to pray that the sitter will make good choices when it comes to your children, and to pray that you and your husband will have a relaxing, if not much needed, short break.
Enjoy! Life is short!
Deborah

Just a thought...

Did you and your hubby make it through life in one piece? Just remember...these grandparents did it long before you!!!

I have said it many times before...these older people in our lives are a font of information. They have "been there, done that" so to speak. They have a wisdom that only life can give to you.

Go on your vacation...have a good time...be thankful that your children will have this time with their Grandmas and Grandpas...I assure you that the kids will be just fine!!!

My mother lives too far away to babysit and my MIL has health issues. What I wouldnt give for my knucklehead to stay at MeeMees for the weekend!!!

Margaret :)

We just went away for 6 days to celebrate our 10 year anniv. I wrote out a "plan" for them. It listed all doctors numbers, neighbors,etc. It basically had anything they would need to know. I listed what snacks they like, suggestions for dinners, bedtime routine, homework routine, etc. It was not a "you have to follow" this but more of a comfort for my parents that they could refer to it if needed. My mom wanted it as she wanted to do things the way that was most familiar for the kids. I felt better that it could eliminate some stress for all of us.

they will be fine. Maybe pick up some new coloring books or something toy for the kids and they'll have something new to play with.

Have fun!

honey don't you or your have brothers and sisters? i think your parents have just LITTLE bit of experience raising children. it's not like you are asking the 12 year old girl next door to watch them. relax and enjoy your weekend and quit worrying about the kids. you and your husband both survived your respective parents - your kids will too.

Oh, honey go and have fun. I do think that slpitting the girls is a good idea for the reasons that you explained and also it gives grandparents fun, one-on-one time with each child instead of it being a chore with both of them.
My husband and I began over nights right after DD was born (maybe 6months or so) and long trips (week-week and a half)without our daughter when she was 18 months. It is so great for our marriage and creates such a strong bond with our daughter and her grandparents. I didn't have grandparents that could do this, so I am very greatful that my little one gets to experiance that kind of bond. Have fun, relax and let them have their fun too.

Morning Chrisitna;

Let me see if I understand your worry? His parents and your
parents are going to be taking care of your two young daughters for 3 days while the two of you (your husband and
yourself) are gone and you wonder if they can handle it?

I trying my best to figure out how the two of you (your husband and yourself) became all grown up and made it to 25?
Apparently neither of your parents had anything to do with
taking care of you when you were born till you were 6?
Yawl must have had nannies?
Hey, go off, enjoy your selves and remember they raised YOU!
B. C.

I can not stress it enough. Go on the trip with your husband. Your children will develop a relationship with their grandparents that they would otherwise never get to have if you are always present.
While on the trip do not talk/obsess about the kids. Be completely present to you and your husband and what is happening in that moment in that place.
The most important gift you can give your children is a healthy, happy relationship with their father and to show them that adults can have a balanced life apart from them as well as love them more than anything in the world.
Women tend to think that nothing will be done "correctly" if they are not doing it themselves. Then they spend the rest of their lives complaining about being tired and frazzled and everybody not helping. They have created the problem. It is a control issue. Let go of some of the control and let other people help you and enjoy your time with your husband. It won't happen often enough.

Hey C.,

Everyone is pretty much saying the same thing but I just wanted to warn you about doing what I did in your same situation. My husband took me to the South of France for a week. Sounds like a dream, right? Wrong. I completely ruined our trip. I was so focused on the kids being left back at home that I was a wreck. I don't know what I thought was happening to them back there but I couldn't enjoy myself. When the vacation was finally over we raced back home to the kids and guess what? They were absolutely fine. I felt like a fool! And I was right. I ruined our beautiful trip, for what? The kids don't even remember the trip now. I was ridiculous. At least I was smart enough to learn from my mistakes. My husband and I take trips by ourselves now and we have the time of our lives!! So your MIL doesn't have a lot of patience with your 3 year old. Big deal. She will be fine. And bonus, she will probably appreciate how nice Mommy is when you get back!! : ) Nothing makes kids appreciate their parents so much as a little time away. Good luck!

My husband and I went to Ireland last summer without my daughter, who was 19 months old at the time. We were gone for 10 days. We left her with my Mom and I can tell you that the thought of it was much harder than the reality. When I was leaving the house for the airport, I cried all the way there, but once we were on our way, I really didn't think too much about it anymore. It was such an awesome trip and I'm so glad my husband talked me into it! We even came home with the best souvenir of all....our son! :-) He's 4 months old now and I already wish we could go on another trip!

Bottom line, go and have a great time. You'll enjoy yourself immensly once you're gone.

Did your parents have more than one child? They managed them, didn't they? I'm assuming they are not mentally of physically challenged or you wouldn't be leaving the children with them. My husband and I learned, after three children and 12 years of marriage, that we needed a private get-away. We started doing one annually and it made a world of difference. You're going to be away only three nights. Call each night to say "Good night, I love you and I'll be home soon", then enjoy your private time together. Not spending quality time together and away from everything ends a lot of marriages.

If it would make you feel better, suggest a "dry run" where your girls spend the night with grandparents while you're still in town and can be reached quickly. If you're thinking of splitting them up, do the split on this "dry run". And spend that evening with your husband, and enjoy his company!

Hi C.,
I was nervous about leaving my son at 10 mos (for the 1st time) with my MIL. I know she loves my son, she's not an idiot, she raised my husband, but she's not exactly a motherly or nurturing person. So, I wrote out his daily schedule & pediatrician's name & number, purchased his food, & dropped him off. If there were any issues, they worked it out & got through it. She didn't hesitate to let me know (after I got home) that 3 days was "too much" for her. She's a very young, social 58 year old woman (who regularly declared during my pregnancy that she wasn't old enough to be a grandma). She just isn't the typical grandma who can't get enough of her grandchild. Which honestly confirmed my worries about leaving him with her. But if your parents are really excited about being grandparents & keeping your kids... go & have a good time!! They will all survive.

Offer and allow plenty of videos, just in case they (your parents) need some breaks. It won't hurt for one weekend, and it will allow your parents to rebuild their energy. Also, maybe have a back up (sibling or someone) show up and help out for an afternoon. Older parents, if the children are obedient, usually just tire out faster. So, they need some time to rebuild that energy.

Relax and go enjoy yourselves! Your parents will be fine. If in doubt, then ask a friend is he/she would mind stepping in if your parents need an extra set of hands.

Were you an only child? Is that why you're worried?
I wouldn't if I were you, since you're only 25 your parents are probably young and healthy and mobile enough to handle 2 children. I know mine raised 3, and can easily accomodate all 3 of their grandchildren at the same time (which is not to say that they aren't glad to send them home and go to bed early once the visit is over) :)
I'm sure if your parents agreed to take them, they will be fine. Go enjoy your trip! Sleep late and order room service!